Beautiful Mistakes

by Sam Mariano

  "Is there any really heavy lifting involved?" she had asked, thinking of the baby.

  "Naw, not for you. Unless of course you consider a package of plates and some napkins heavy. I do any heavy lifting myself."

  Julie chuckled. "I'm pretty sure I can handle that."

  She was scheduled to "discuss with Matt" at around 5, and since she had already made up her mind, that shouldn’t take too long, so she agreed to go for an interview at 6:30.

  When she got off the phone, she had been completely amazed. She had two job interviews in two days. Granted, they were for very part-time gigs, but if she managed to get both of them she would be employed three days a week outside of the job at the café, which was a step in the right direction.

  She was absolutely going to get her life together, she decided. It was going to happen, whether she inadvertently tried to screw it up or not.

  From scaring children and scheduling interviews, she went back to work at The Lofthouse Café. Apparently she had done well enough that morning, so they said she could come in until four to pick up a couple of extra hours if she wanted to. Since she had only been scheduled for 4 measly hours that morning, she eagerly agreed, knowing she would need the money. Julie hadn't figured out who made the schedule yet, since she had only been there about 8 hours since she had been employed, but if she didn't end up getting the other jobs she was going to have to have a discussion with someone about those craptastic 4 hour shifts.

  Julie managed to survive yet another—partial—shift, and Aaron had actually left for two hours and left her there alone. He returned about 20 minutes before her shift was over and came over to tell her very briskly, "Matt is going to be at the apartment a little before five. If you have sex anywhere in my house, the deal's off and you're sleeping in your car until you get on your feet."

  Before she could even respond –or pick her jaw up off the ground—he had breezed past her, clipboard in hand, pencil jammed behind his ear, and made his way back to the cooler.

  Leigh spotted Julie with her mouth hanging open when he was walking away and she misinterpreted the situation, walking over to Julie with a slight giggle. "Don't worry about him, I know he can be a bear, but he really does have a good heart. He just…hides it well."

  Julie looked up, confused.

  "I know, he seems very grumpy at first, but it will get better, you'll see," she said, patting Julie on the arm with a compassionate smile and then breezing past her to grab a coffee pot and make her way out to a table with a Barbie-style smile on her cute face.

  Shaking her head, Julie went to get some cups from the dish washing area so she could start restocking everything before her shift ended.

  Unfortunately, she dreaded the discussion after work much more than she had dreaded actually working.

  Despite herself, she found herself rushing home to rummage through her things and find an appropriately cute (in the "see what you're missing out on" kind of way) but entirely platonic outfit. She didn't know why Aaron was ridiculous enough to think he should have to worry about them having sex—the last thing Matt wanted with Julie was sex. He had already discarded her like an old magazine he was tired of reading, now he was just on a mission to empty her womb of the evidence so he could go back to his beautiful ice queen wife.

  That, she decided, was why she wanted to look cute—to remind him that he was a dumbass and he should have done things differently.

  However, after trying on 8 different outfits, she gave up, knowing she would never really be able to compare to Emma in looks—damn her beauty—so the whole point was probably moot.

  Plus, it was hard to find even the cutest little low-cut sweater attractive when tiny little burps kept escaping your typically un-gassy body as you analyzed your reflection in the mirror.

  Damn early pregnancy.

  As she considered going back to the closet to look for a different top, she heard a knock at the door.

  She suddenly felt like she had swallowed an ice cube and her heart began to hammer in her chest. She would have to stick with the sweater and the jeans, and she no longer had any time left to put it off.

  Matt was there to "discuss the situation."

  Shoulders slumping with dread, she forced herself out of the bedroom and down the hall to the door where she hesitated, squared her shoulders, and prepared for battle.

  When she opened the door, she was met with Matt, a slight smile on his endearingly friendly face, and before she realized it he was hugging her by way of greeting.

  She stood stiffly as her mind registered the embrace her body felt and she heard him murmur, "Hi, Julie." Then, still holding her in the embrace, he seemed to inhale her scent, saying, "God, I've missed you."

  What the hell?

  Stunned, she stood stiffly, a frown on her face, wondering why he was saying he missed her. She could feel herself falter a little as she stood there awkwardly in his embrace, trying to reassemble all her thoughts and figure out what the hell was going on and what had gotten into Matt.

  He finally pulled back, but if he realized she didn’t return his hug, his face showed no indication. His smile widened, revealing those endearingly crooked teeth. "How are you? Is Aaron being evil to you?"

  No words would form. He had transformed back into Nice Matt, and Evil Matt was but a distant memory.

  No, no, no, she thought forcefully. She remembered Evil Matt, because he was the one who let his wife fire her, kick her out of his house, and take her from Anna.

  With that reminder, she forced herself to respond a bit coolly, "Hello."

  His grin slipped, and she instantly felt guilty before she realized she had no reason to.

  Then, feeling even more awkward as she felt his eyes take inventory of what she was wearing –she had been in the jeans and low-cut top when he knocked, but she was thanking God she had a black cami shirt layered underneath so that she didn't look intentionally provocative—she dropped her gaze to a spot low on the wall and backed up, giving him room to step inside, and she shut the door behind him.

  They walked into the living room and the first thing Matt noticed was the air bed, which he eyed up with a grimace, hands in his pockets.

  "That's the guest room," Julie informed him brightly.

  "Why doesn't it look properly inflated?" he asked.

  "Because apparently it takes a while to blow up a boat, so Aaron gave up last night and determined to finish it tonight instead since I needed some sleep. I had an important test."

  "You slept with my brother again?" he asked, his eyebrows rising.

  "Whoa, that sounds bad," she remarked. "We slept in the same bed, yes—not that that's any of your concern," she reminded him.

  He didn't appear to like any of that, but he moved past it quickly enough, turning his smile on her. "So, how are you feeling?"

  "Perfectly fine," she said, although it was an overstatement. She wasn't going to tell him she felt gassy, tired, and had frequent headaches; she was determined to keep those little symptoms to herself since everyone was so displeased with her pregnancy. Why remind people?

  "And…the baby?" he asked hesitantly, as if unsure how to refer to it.

  "Still there," she stated shortly.

  He looked down then, looking a little ashamed. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

  There it was. Evil Matt was going to come back in all his pushy splendor, leaving Nice Matt as nothing but a memory—an illusion, more accurately.

  "Nothing has changed," Julie stated. "I am still not going to abort my pregnancy and I still don't frankly give a damn what Emma wants me to do."

  "I know, that's what I wanted to apologize for. I was…absolutely horrible to you the other day. The way that I behaved…it was unforgiveable,” he said sheepishly, actually hanging his head.

  Frowning, she felt her jaw go slack.

  Huh?

  "I mean, you were scared, too, and I just…lost it. I don't know what came over me," he went on. "It was just…Emma knew, sh
e always knows things like this, she's just…it’s like she has a Spidey sense about it or something. She probably knew you were pregnant before you did, it's like she could smell it."

  She just looked at him as he rambled, trying to make some sense of what he was saying.

  "Anyway," he said, shaking his head, "I wanted to come here to see you in person so I could apologize to you. I was a real bastard, and I am very sorry. Can you forgive me?"

  Ignoring his winning –if charmingly crooked—smile, she said, "Wait, I thought you were coming here to try to talk me into changing my mind."

  He shook his head, looking slightly sheepish. "No. If that's absolutely not what you want, then I'm not going to try to pressure you into it."

  "Really?" she asked, blinking at him.

  "Really," he said sincerely.

  She met his eyes without the defense she had ready to fight against him, and his gaze seemed to soften even more.

  He reached out and took her hand, caressing it lightly with his fingers. "We'll figure this out together, like we should have from the beginning."

  Swallowing, Julie tried to remember why she shouldn't enjoy the feeling of his fingers twining between hers.

  Oh, right. He was married. To the dragon lady, no less.

  Immediately, she pulled her hand back and inched away from him, looking down at her lap. "You were incredibly mean to me, Matt," she stated.

  "I know," he said, sounding remorseful. "I wish that I could redo that day, Julie," he said, moving the inch closer to her and taking her hand again. "I fucked that up royally, but I want to make it up to you. I want to make it better."

  Cautiously, she let him hold her hand, but tried not to seem very enthusiastic about it. "And how do you propose you’re going to do that?" she asked.

  "I'm going to support you like I should have through your pregnancy. I mean, right now I don't think I can move you back into the guest room, but I'm sure you don't want to stay here with Aaron either—he has to be acting like a bastard. Once everything settles down I'll see what I can do about helping you get your own place."

  "Yeah, I'm not sure what kind of job you think I have, but I currently work a few 4 hour shifts, I definitely can't afford Chicago rent, not even in the projects at this point."

  Frowning, he shook his head. "No, not the projects. We'll find you a nice apartment, and it doesn't matter if you can't afford it, I'll help you pay for it. Now I wanted to ask—just ask, don't get mad—if you would ever consider adoption."

  Although she had absolutely nothing against it, she felt a faint possessive urge to curve her hand around her stomach as if to protect her poppy seed-sized baby. "I hadn't really given it much consideration. Not to be shallow, but I hate the thought of stretching my body out and going through immense pain, and then giving away the fruits of my labor. Maybe if I was like 16 and less capable of parenting, but… I don't know, I think I’m quite capable, so probably not."

  He nodded. "Okay. Then I'll set you up a nursery when you get the apartment, and if you don't like the job with Aaron—that was absolute desperation, I apologize—I'll see what I can do about finding you a real job."

  Eyeing him a little suspiciously, she said, "Why are you being so nice to me now?"

  He let his head hang again as he shook it. "I am ashamed of how I treated you the other day, Julie. I do care about you, and it's as much my fault as yours that you're pregnant. I shouldn't have reacted the way that I did, that was wrong."

  Then, he seemed to brighten. "Oh, before I forget, I brought you something."

  "You did?" she asked, watching as he extracted a little black velvet box from the inside of his suit pocket.

  Jewelry? she thought in disbelief.

  "Just a little present to apologize for how I behaved," he said, offering the little velvet box.

  Swallowing, Julie took the box and opened it to find a pair of beautiful diamond earrings staring back at her.

  "They're beautiful," she said wonderingly, trying to remember the last time someone had bought her jewelry.

  On her sixteenth birthday. Her father had bought her a ring.

  He grinned at her, making a little bubble of happiness swell up in her chest. "I thought you might like them."

  She smiled, touching one of the earrings, rotating the little bauble and watching the light hit it. "They're so sparkly."

  "Didn't Jack ever buy you diamonds?"

  Shooting him a disbelieving look, she said, "Yeah, right."

  "Well, you deserve diamonds. Put them on, I want to see them on you."

  A jolt of suspicion stole her happy thoughts away and she looked at him, her eyes narrowing slightly. "Why did you buy me diamonds? Does Emma know about this?"

  With a slight roll of his eyes he shook his head. "No, she doesn't know about this, but why do I have to have a motive for buying you a present? You've been very special to me, and now you're having my child—don't you think you deserve a present?"

  "Yes," she stated plainly. "But this is completely opposite of what you were like just a couple of days ago when you were backing me into a corner, trying to bully me into bending to your will."

  "And I said I was sorry about that," he said, as if that closed the topic. Then he took the box from her hand and removed the earrings himself, handing them to her one at a time. "Do you need me to put them in for you, too?" he asked a little playfully.

  "No," she murmured, reaching up to fasten the earrings into her earlobes. When she was finished, she turned so he could see them. "What do you think?" she asked.

  "Stunning," he stated, smiling at her warmly.

  Her mouth felt unreasonably dry again, so she swallowed, fighting the vague feeling of discomfort slithering up her spine. He was just being nice, trying to make up for what a complete and absolute asshole he had been before. No reason to be suspicious of his motives.

  But then he took her hand again, scooting closer to her on the couch. His other hand found its way to rest on her thigh, and red flags went up all over in her head.

  "I miss you," he said.

  "You're the one that let me leave," she reminded him, trying to decide whether or not she should move her leg so he lost the contact with her thigh or just leave it alone.

  "I know; that was stupid. I didn't know what to do."

  "You got caught," she stated plainly.

  Seeming to ignore that statement, he raised his hand from her leg to brush her cheek, then he cupped her face in his hand and began to lean in.

  Fighting the natural instinct to move closer, she forced herself not to and instead leaned back to get away from his lips.

  Of course that was the exact moment—as he leaned even closer and she leaned back even more—that the door flew open, and Aaron came walking in.

  Julie started, Matt practically sprung away from her, and they both sat there looking at Aaron like a couple of guilty teenagers whose parents had just walked in on them.

  Aaron's face curled up into a slight sneer and he made a low noise of disgust, then he walked into the kitchen so he couldn't see them as he noisily stuffed things into the refrigerator. "Sorry, was I interrupting?" he called sarcastically.

  "No," Julie said, jumping off the couch, feeling the need to explain herself. She walked into the little alcove of the kitchen and said quietly, "It was not what it looked—”

  "I can’t look at you right now," he said, cutting her off and holding his hand up in front of her face.

  Ouch.

  Feeling oddly hurt, Julie retreated. She started to say something, then stopped herself, biting her lip and walking back into the living room.

  Matt cleared his throat and stood up, handing her the empty jewelry box.

  "Thank you," she said quietly, the wind completely knocked out of her sails.

  "I'm going to go speak with my brother for a second," Matt said, glancing toward the kitchen.

  Julie nodded and went back to the couch to sit down, trying to ascertain how Aaron—whom she barely kn
ew—had managed to cut her so deeply with his rejection in the kitchen. She had known he didn't like her, but to say he couldn't even look at her?

  It made her feel lower and dirtier than anything else had up to that point.

  Then she heard Matt say, "Are you going to get that…thing inflated or should I get her a hotel room until you manage to get around to it?"

  "Oh, yeah, I'm sure that would be much more convenient for you, wouldn't it? What, Emma's not out of town this week? You could just bring her home with you."

  "Don't be an asshole," Matt said dismissively.

  "Right. The neighbors. You've already learned they don't keep quiet, haven't you?"

  There was a brief moment of silence, then Matt said, "You didn't answer my question. You were supposed to have somewhere for her to sleep already, it's unacceptable that—”

  "That I'm busy? Sorry, when I was planning out my weekly schedule I completely forgot to pencil in 'babysit Matt's mistress,' but I'll try really hard to remember my job from now on,” he shot back scathingly.

  She could hear Matt's agitated sigh, and she wished she could see them since they weren't actually speaking to each other at that moment, but she figured there must be some sort of nonverbal communication going on.

  Finally, the fridge door slammed shut and Aaron said, "Don't worry, she'll be sleeping out here tonight. I'll finish the bed and she won't sleep in my room anymore. That better?"

  "Well, that was supposed to be the arrangement from the beginning," Matt complained.

  Making another noise of mild disgust, Aaron walked past Matt and into Julie's sight, but he still didn't look at her. "If you're done now, you can go," Aaron said inhospitably.

  "I should be going anyway," Matt said, glancing at his watch.

  "Say hi to Emma for me," Aaron said evenly as he knelt down next to the boat-bed.

  Matt's face tightened for just a moment as he looked at his brother's back, then his expression cleared and he turned a slight smile on Julie. "Bye, Julie. I'll talk to you later."

  Nodding, Julie murmured, "Okay, thanks."