“As I was saying.” She looked up at him after undoing the top of his uniform again and the look she gave him was like he was small and being scolded by someone.
“People assumed Briar and I would partner, we talked about it, I assumed that at some point it would happen. But we never made the commitment. And I was never going to until I got to the planet because people can change.” She shot him another look, one even more pointed than the last, and she went around him to his back, sucking in her breath with a hiss when she got there.
It must have looked even worse than he realized.
She placed a gentle hand on his back, managing to avoid any place that would make him hurt anymore than he already did.
He closed his eyes and hoped that it wouldn’t be the only way in which she would touch him from now on, like one of her patients.
“You’re right.” Her voice broke his heart, it wasn’t sad, it was cautiously happy.
If she was feeling that way about her future with Briar after what he had done to her and to Troylus, he was never going to be able to have her in his life for very long. He was just a temporary fill in while Briar got his head out of his ass.
“He never knew me,” she said, making him snap his eyes open and turn around to face her.
She was smiling at him, her face unguarded and daring.
“That idiot thinks you’re a lot of things you’re not, but I shouldn’t have done the same damn thing,” he said, reaching out a hand to run it along her cheek.
“Oh?” She raised her eyebrow at him again and he laughed while he nodded.
“Yeah. No one makes you do anything you don’t want to unless it’s a requirement for survival.”
He moved in closer to her and his heart lost its rhythm as she ran her hands up his chest.
“So, you want to try and test my control.”
Zellendine wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his mouth down to hers.
Their kiss was deep and long, he never wanted it to end, but at least he didn’t think his hands were going to explode by the time she pulled back from his mouth and looked into his eyes.
“But first, I need to treat you, and then talk you through treating me.”
He growled and buried his face in her neck, nuzzling and kissing the soft skin where it curved to meet her shoulder.
“Ah, so you want to try and test my control,” she said, her voice breathless, and it happened.
Blue light floated up out of his palms, it coiled around them and licked at his back and all along her body.
She arched and twisted, crying out in pain, and he pulled the light back, tucking his palms into his sides, swearing he would never touch her again if that was what it took to protect her.
“Zellendine, I’m so sorry. No. Oh, shit.” He was stammering and his arms flapped around while he tried to keep his hands planted and safe against his own legs.
“No,” she said, bending over double, bracing herself with her hands on her knees, she waved one hand in the air and took deep breaths.
“What can I do? I’ll go. I’ll move rooms.”
“Stop, Troylus.” She stood up, putting a hand to her side and starting to undo her uniform with frenzied fingers.
“Don’t. Please, I don’t want to hurt you again.” He brought his hands out to stop hers, but shoved them back at his sides again, shaking his head.
“Look at my back and my side please,” she said, placing a hand on his arm which sent a shiver down his spine.
“I’m not sure…”
“Do it.” She turned and pulled down her uniform, showing him the exposed skin of the area he pressed too hard on in the orchard that made her flinch away from him.
But there was no sign of injury, no sign of issue at all.
“You’re fine. It all looks great. Now, come on, I should get out of here.” He went to move past her and she grabbed him, turning him around to face her.
“Troylus, you did this.” Her eyes were alight, bright and shining in the depths of the deep brown of them.
“I know, I hurt you. I’m sorry, I just don’t see any sign of it. If it’s too deep we should take you to the clinic. Come on.”
He turned again and she clamped her hand on his arm, forcing his focus back to her.
“Listen. It was probably black and blue, I might have had broken ribs. That’s how bad I was hurt before. But this,” she said, twisting to make him look at her clear back again. “This is because of your blue light. You don’t just fix things on the ship. You fixed me.”
Opening and closing his mouth, the words failing him, Troylus struggled to accept that he was capable of something that incredible.
“Healed you?” he managed to say, his hands releasing their tight hold on his uniform at his sides. “How?”
“I have no idea.” She reached up to touch his cheek, to run her other hand along his chest and stomach, it sent his body into a strange need to get her closer and push her away at the same time. Part of him couldn’t accept that he had done something positive for her instead of the hurt he thought he had caused. And part of him wanted to be back to normal so he could be with her the way his whole body longed for.
But in the end, he kept his hands to himself, only allowing himself to look at her, and to kiss her before he pulled back and bit his lip.
“Maybe I should wait to test this ability any further until I know for sure that it will always work that way,” he said.
She sighed, but wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a light kiss, her fingers playing in the hair that was growing too long again at the nape of his neck.
“Okay. I want you to trust your ability as much as I do.”
Her smile was radiant and he almost went back on his decision, but an errant thought made him grab her uniform and tug it upward with a big smile on his face and a kiss on her nose.
“What if this works for other people in the clinic?”
31
Zellendine
They weaved through the crowd together, his hand in hers, and she was thrilled to have the chance to watch Troylus try to heal someone.
But part of her was back in the wet room. Part of her wanted to return there with him and touch him until they were engulfed in blue light again. She didn’t need healing anymore, but his ability was beautiful, and having it all to herself that way was like being surrounded by joy, until it hurt, but even then it was trying to do positive things.
In the clinic, they slowed, sedately walking through the rooms until they were in the one she thought held the patient who needed Troylus the most.
Last time Zellendine was in there, she thought the patient wouldn’t make it. Burns covered too much of their body and they had to be kept close to stasis to avoid going into shock. It didn’t matter how advanced their medicine was, some things were still impossible for them to cure or heal. Some things would kill one person while another would recover, and they never knew who would respond in what way.
He stepped to the bedside, wringing his hands in front of himself while she shut the door and locked it.
“But it hurt you and you were no where near this injured,” he said, turning his silver eyes on her, his almost out of regulation hair close to hanging in his face again, and a muscle in his jaw twitched as he chewed the inside of one cheek.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” he asked.
She stepped up to his side, taking both his hands in hers and kissing his palms.
“Troylus, you don’t want to risk hurting anyone,” she said, her voice hushed, “I understand that. But this poor person may not survive without you. And right now, they are almost in stasis they’re so deep because their pain alone might kill them without that. They need you.”
Letting go of his hands, she stepped back and put one palm between his shoulder blades so he knew she was there.
“If this doesn’t work,” he mumbled holding his hands out.
“Then they won’t be any worse off than they are right
now. But if it works, you’ll have saved a life.”
He took a deep breath she felt through his back. And before the blue light came, she knew to look for it, because his muscles bunched up, turning into rock hard cords beneath his skin that were so defined she felt them through his uniform.
Blue light, soft and hazy, different than it had been all other times she had seen it, swirled around the patient in a slow and breathtaking dance.
It seemed to go on forever and yet take no time at all for him to wilt, his hands dropping, and his legs almost giving out so he stumbled back into her.
“Are you okay?” She took him over to a chair where he dropped into it and leaned his head against her stomach.
“Sometimes, when I do too much, it almost knocks me out.” His words weren’t crisp, clear, or loud, and she had to lean in to hear him and attempt to understand him.
“You can run out of power?”
“Um,” he raised his head, although he was still leaning it against her and his smile was crooked. “I guess, yeah.”
“Okay, let me run some scans. You just sit right here.” She bent down and gently guided his head back so he was resting against the wall before she kissed him and turned back to the patient.
Through the bandages, she thought she could make out marked improvement in their coloring and less damaged skin, but she wasn’t sure.
Scans sometimes took a while to show any change, and sometimes after the first few seconds, she knew some of her answers.
“It worked,” she said.
“Huh?” he asked from behind her.
Darting back to him with the holo from the room in her hands, she pointed to some of the information on the scans as it came in, explaining to him what it all meant.
“So, they’re going to live?” he asked, his face coming closer to normal and less like he was going to fall over.
“Yes, and other than the limbs they’ve already lost, and some minor scarring, they’re going to be just fine.” She tapped instructions into the holo to slowly bring the patient out of their pseudo stasis and pulled him to his feet.
“Let’s go home, and get some sleep master medic,” she said, kissing him long and slow.
His smile was radiant.
Walking out of the clinic, she had a hard time keeping her face schooled not to show the worried and sad people assembled there that she was thrilled. She just gave him the title of the assignment he had always wanted. And he had more than earned it.
Getting back to their quarters took longer than it had to make their way to the clinic, but that was okay with her. He held her hand, running his thumb over the back of it in slow, languid arcs. And every time he did, it sent a shot of energy through her.
Once they were in their quarters with the door to the hall shut, he grabbed her face in his hands and kissed her until she wanted to fall down.
He picked her up by her legs, wrapping them around his waist and carried her into the wet room. She dug her fingers into his hair, tangling it in her grip.
The door to the wet room slammed shut and he set her on the sink, his excitement clear to her through their uniforms. She pushed him closer with her legs behind him, the joy of him being with her making her forget for a moment about why they had stopped before.
But he bent his head and kissed the curve of her neck.
“Wait,” she said, managing to remember there was a reason they had not pushed it before. “What about your ability?”
“Zellendine,” he said, pulling back from her neck and giving her a wicked smile, “You just managed to have me drain my power supply.”
“You—” He cut off her words with his mouth.
32
Troylus
Afterward, he turned off the water of the wash and dried her off, his hands not wanting to stop touching her, wanting to make her cry out again.
“Just a fair warning, I don’t know how I’m going to stop myself from depleting my power supply twenty times a day,” he said, grinning and kissing her when she smiled, the towel bunching up between them.
“There isn’t enough hours in the day for twenty times,” she said and he laughed.
“I mean, I think we could try.”
She kissed his nose and pulled the towel with her as she stepped away to put her uniform back on.
He dried off and followed her lead, although he was only half kidding.
Now that he knew the secret to getting to be with Zellendine however she wanted him was to spend all his ability on something, he would do it everyday. Somehow, he would find something that needed him to work on it.
“Zellendine,” he said, leaning back against the sink, trying to find a way to ask her what he wanted, no, what he needed to know.
“Yeah?” she asked, running a comb through her long hair and looking over her shoulder at him.
“Do—” Nope. He wasn’t sure he could do it. “What I mean is, you said you wouldn’t partner until you were sure. And I know you said not until you were on the planet, but the planet is right around the corner, and…”
Fuck, how did people even begin to talk about this? There was so much on the line. He wanted to tell her how he felt more than he had ever wanted to do anything other than help her.
She put a hand to his cheek and he met her gaze. Those deep, dark eyes were soft and sincere. He was lost, drowning in them, and he didn’t want to be found by anyone but her.
“Are you sure?” she asked, instead of answering him.
“Yes. Will you partner with me?” His voice was steady, but if he hadn’t been holding onto the edge of the sink he thought his hands would be shaking.
“I want us to be partners.” Her smile was brilliant and he swept her up in his arms, holding her off the ground and kissing her.
“Zellendine, no matter what, even if something happens that stops us, I love you.” She had made whatever happened with leadership worth it, and he meant it. Even if they made sure she had to move on and find another person to partner with, at least he knew that right then, she wanted him.
“Troylus, I love you too, but nothing is going to stop us. I won’t let it.” She kissed him again, and soon they were back in the wash.
33
Zellendine
She had never been such a mix of emotions. The part of her heart that was broken over the loss of her father would never be whole again, but the rest of her, even the parts that were unsure and afraid of things, all of her was sure of Troylus. All of her was filled with joy at having Troylus want to partner with her.
For all their time in the wash, it was still awhile before Rullon came back to their quarters, and he didn’t say a word when she and Troylus climbed into the same bed to sleep.
Wrapped around Troylus, his arms around her, her sleep was finally free of bad dreams.
The next day, he kissed her and left with Rullon to go to their assignment, but she stayed behind. She had to come up with some new idea, some new way to find out what happened to her dad.
Hours of tapping on her holo, thinking through what was near the small meeting room, looking for any other note from her dad on what he was doing there, she was no closer to an answer.
A chime rang out and an announcement called a series of names to come to the gathering room that evening.
Troylus’s name didn’t surprise her, the absence of Rullon’s did, and so did hearing hers.
“Why do they want me? I’m not a starwalker,” she mumbled to the empty room.
Maybe the gathering wasn’t about the first spindles landing.
Once inside the gathering room, she stood to the side in the back and scanned the people assembled there, looking for a brown head of slightly too long hair.
Someone shifted and she spotted him, standing among other members of his crew, and a few starwalkers she didn’t know.
His eyes found hers and his smile grew so pronounced, Parmita turned to look at Zellendine with one brow raised.
Parmita must have said something to Tro
ylus because the people around them laughed and he smacked her on the shoulder as he passed her, heading to Zellendine.
Watching him make his way through the crowd, she wanted to be back in the wash with him, to be back in their private space away from so many eyes.
“Hey,” he said, taking her hand and leaning to whisper in her ear, “if this is what everyone thinks it is, if we are both going on the spindles, I might jump up and down and cheer.”
She laughed and nodded while he turned and tugged her through the room back to the group of people he knew.
“Are you going to be our medic, do you think?” Parmita asked, and Zellendine shrugged, but Parmita got a wicked grin on her face and went on, “Or are you just going to be with us to make sure he doesn’t lose his shit from being away from you?”
Parmita put her hands to one side of her face and batted her eyelashes.
“Oh, now I see the Princess thing,” Zellendine said.
Troylus cracked up, Parmita rolled her eyes and dropped her hands, but she was smiling.
“How long do you think they’ll make us wait for this?” Troylus asked, looking around like he was trying to spot someone in particular.
“Leadership doesn’t tend to want people to spend a lot of time without something specific to do.” Zellendine squeezed his hand and he focused back on her, rubbing his thumb along the back of hers.
“Otherwise who knows what we would get up to,” he mumbled into her ear while trying to play it off as him turning to look around them.
“Good grief. You two need to get this out of your systems before I’m stuck on the planet with you all the damn time,” Permita said with a grin.
“You are going to be like this no matter what we do,” Zellendine said. Parmita dropped her mouth open and everyone else laughed.
“Everyone,” Alara’s voice carried across the room, stopping conversations wherever they were happening and drawing all eyes to where she stood on the dais. “Thank you for coming. Look around you.”
The Spindle Page 11