Chapter Five
After Aidan left the restaurant, he didn’t go back to the office. He walked around downtown Savannah, trying to burn off some of the anger boiling in his gut. Kate was right. This was a mess. Even though her calling their marriage a mess had pissed him off in a big way, that was exactly what it was. A big, fat, ugly mess, made worse by the increasingly clear reality that the only way out of it was straight down the divorce highway.
Sitting on the edge of the fountain in Lafayette Square, Aidan braced his elbows on his knees. He had calmed down to the point that he no longer saw red, and he was now able to do some soul-searching.
While he had never minded being the glue that held together his relationship with Kate, he wasn’t going to force Kate into a permanent tie she didn’t want. No relationship could make it if only one partner wanted it to work.
He had searched his heart and thought about his own motivation for staying in the marriage. It wasn’t just because it would be his second divorce. While he felt like a two-time failure, he kept coming back to the fact that he wanted to build a life with her. He wanted to have kids with her. He wanted Kate, Chloe and him to be a family together.
Kate loved Chloe. Chloe loved Kate. God knew his little girl deserved a mother. While he and his daughter had done fine on their own, Chloe was getting to the age where she needed a female role model. Even as important as that was, it wasn’t the tipping point that made him want to marry Kate.
They were good together.
He loved her.
Those were the reasons.
It was as plain and simple as that.
They fit. He was a better person with her. With her, he felt whole. As if every other relationship in his life—and there hadn’t been many—hadn’t worked because he was meant for Kate.
Kate was his soul mate.
He wished he made her feel the same way.
He would fight for them, but he would not try to force her to stay if she didn’t want to.
But he couldn’t help but hope that since it wasn’t as easy for her to run away from her feelings this time, maybe she would have time to think about it—about them—and realize how good they were together.
* * *
The next morning, when Kate woke up with another bout of the nausea that had been sidelining her since Vegas, she decided it was time to visit the doctor. It had been going on for ten days now, more than enough time for a virus to run its course.
She got the first available appointment that morning since her first client wasn’t coming until midmorning.
After peeing in a cup and allowing the nurse to draw blood, Kate sat on the exam table in a small room with cheerful yellow walls and framed paintings of colorful flowers. As she waited for the doctor to come in and offer the magic cure, she thought about how she had rarely been sick in her life. Except for the occasional cold, she was usually pretty healthy, which meant she wasn’t super vigilant about going in for yearly examinations. She was only twenty-six and she took good care of herself. She walked to work several times a week and tried to watch what she ate. She didn’t smoke, and except for the occasional social drink or celebratory toast, she stayed away from alcohol because of her father’s dicey history with it and, for the most part, she didn’t really like it. She would rather spend her calories on something sweet like chocolate or one of the masterpieces Jane created for the tearoom at the inn.
Had it been a mistake to forgo those regular checkups? What if there was something wrong that she could have prevented? Her heart thudded in her chest as a host of possibilities flooded her mind. She batted each one away with good, common sense reasoning such as her relatively clear family history. Her sisters, mother and grandmother were healthy.
But sometimes disaster struck. Having a clean family history didn’t automatically exempt a person from being the first to be stricken with a disease—especially someone like her, who had her hands in chemicals such as hair color and perm solution day in and day out.
A few seconds later, a knock sounded on the exam room door, interrupting the spiral of hypochondria.
“Hi, Kate.” Dr. Moore greeted Kate with a warm smile before she glanced at her chart. Olivia Moore was young and smart and had a great way with patients. On the rare occasion that Kate saw her, she never rushed Kate or made her feel bad for not making regular appointments. She made it clear that no question was a dumb question.
“Hi, Dr. Moore. Thanks for seeing me on such short notice. I have some kind of a bug that doesn’t seem to want to run its course and get out of my system. It has been like ten days now. Is there something going around? Although I’d bet I picked it up on a recent flight to Vegas.”
“How are you feeling?” Dr. Moore asked as she washed her hands at the sink in the corner of the exam room.
“I’m feeling frustrated. I’m tired all the time and I always have this vaguely nauseated feeling. Some days it is worse than others, but it always seems to be there.”
Dr. More picked up Kate’s chart.
“Do you know that you’re pregnant? The test we just did came back positive.”
* * *
The call from Kate came as he was dropping Chloe off at school. He was in the car line and hadn’t quite made it to the place where the safety patrols helped the kids get out of the car.
He pushed the button that connected the call to the audio system so that he could keep both hands on the wheel.
“Good morning, Kate. I’m in the car with Chloe. You’re on speaker.”
“Oh!” was all she said for a moment. “Good morning, Chloe.”
“Good morning, Kate,” Chloe said. “We’re having show-and-tell today. So I got to bring Princess Sweetie Pie with me. Say good morning to Kate, Sweetie Pie. She lets me call her Sweetie Pie instead of Princess Sweetie Pie. But only I can do that.”
Aidan smiled as his little girl chattered on and on about her stuffed cat that she dragged around with her everywhere possible. Now that she was in first grade—big girl school, as they called it—she had to concentrate on her schoolwork and that meant that she couldn’t cart the big white cat around. Except on special days like this.
It was sweet the way Kate listened to Chloe, interjecting all the right responses and asking questions that made her seem genuinely interested in what his little girl was saying. He had no doubt that it wasn’t an act. Kate made it clear that she had a real affection for Chloe. Because of that—because of times like this—Aidan could put everything else that had happened since Vegas aside and feel nothing but love for Kate.
“We are almost at the drop-off point,” Aidan said. “How about if I call you back in just a minute?”
“Please do, Aidan. It’s important.”
Important? That was when he noticed that her voice sounded a little shaky.
“Is everyone okay?” he asked. “Gigi and Charles? Your mom? Your sisters?”
“Oh. Yes. They’re all fine.”
She still sounded far away. Not in physical distance, but in demeanor, as if she was distracted and her mind was a million miles away.
“I need to talk to you. Is there any way you could come by my place after you drop off Chloe?”
“Sure. I have an appointment at ten, but I don’t need to get to the office until a few minutes before then.”
After he hung up the phone, Chloe said, “Look, Daddy, there’s Miss Doris and Beatrice.”
His little girl was bouncing up and down in her car booster seat as Aidan stopped in the drop-off zone. It warmed his heart and took his mind off the odd call with Kate as he thought about how little it took to make his daughter happy.
“I see them,” he said. “I think they’re waiting for you.”
“I know! That makes me so happy. I can walk to my classroom with Beatrice.”
The car line drill was that parents pulled up into the desig
nated area and adults—a couple of staff members, but mostly parents who were volunteering as part of the PTA—helped the children out of the cars. That way the parents didn’t have to get out and the line moved along quickly and safely.
Doris, who was the mother of Chloe’s best friend, approached their car and opened the door for Chloe.
She leaned in. “Good morning, Aidan, I’m volunteering here today. Beatrice has just been chomping at the bit waiting for Chloe to arrive.”
“Good morning, Doris,” he said. “Chloe, don’t forget your lunch. She’s bringing in her stuffed cat for show-and-tell. I’m afraid she will forget everything else but that.”
“No worries,” sang Doris. “I have her backpack and lunch box. She has Princess Sweetie Pie.”
Of course, Doris would know the cat’s name. Chloe spent a lot of time at her house playing with her daughter.
“Are we forgetting anything?” Doris asked.
“No, I think that’s all. Thanks, Doris. Have a great day.”
Aidan turned around in his seat and prepared to drive away, but the woman lingered for a moment in his open back door.
“Per chance are you free to meet for coffee later? I finish my volunteer shift here in about twenty minutes. I was thinking we could meet up at The Sentient Bean. Are you up for it?”
“Sorry, Doris, I have to be somewhere in—” He glanced at his watch. “I should be there now.”
The woman’s face fell. “Oh, well. Of course. I’m sure you have a business to run. You can’t just stop for coffee with the mom of your daughter’s friend. But maybe another time. It’s that I like to get to know the parents of all of Beatrice’s friends.”
“As a good mother would,” Aidan said. “Another time would be great, but I really do have to run.”
They said their goodbyes and Aidan drove to Kate’s house, pondering what was so important that she had to see him now.
Not that he minded. He longed to wake up and see her every morning, kiss her first thing and bring her coffee in bed.
He parked in the driveway in front of her bungalow. The gravel on the drive crunched under his feet as he made his way up to the door. Though it was still early, the sun was already heating up and the humidity clung to him like a heavy damp suit. It was going to be a hot one.
He knocked and swiped his hand over his brow to wipe away any beads of perspiration that might have collected as he waited for Kate to answer.
When she did, he started sweating for a different reason after he took one look at her tear-stained face.
“Kate, honey, what’s wrong?”
“Come in.” Her voice was barely a whisper. Her shoulders shuddered with the sobs she was trying to contain.
She shut the door.
He didn’t know what to say or do—whether to hug her or give her some space—as he searched his mind for the possible causes of her distress. She’d said her family was fine—
“Aidan, I’m pregnant.”
Whoa. Okay. Wow. “Really?”
A baby? They were having a baby?
A warm glow slowly eradicated the cold dread he’d been feeling but a moment ago.
His heart suddenly felt so full that he couldn’t help but beam with pride.
He and Kate were having a baby. He resisted the urge to yell yes and give the air a victory punch. Because one look at Kate and he realized that she was having a much harder time with this plot twist their lives had taken than he was.
Still, there was no getting around his happiness.
“Honey, this is wonderful news.”
He pulled her into his arms, and to his relief, for the first time in a long time, she sank into him and let him hold her. Her body gently shook as she cried on his shoulder.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he said a few moments later, leaning back so he could see her eyes.
She shrugged. “I can’t—I don’t know. I can’t quite get my mind wrapped around it. That there’s a life growing inside me.”
Tears filled her eyes and spilled over onto her cheeks.
“It is going to be all right,” he said. “Everything is going to be fine. I promise. Kate. Oh my God, we’re going to have a baby.”
She swiped at her eyes. Aidan got up and returned with a tissue. She wiped her tears and blew her nose. “What are we going to do, Aidan?”
He smiled. “We’re going to be a family. That’s what we’re going to do. This is the best news.”
She blinked and then squinted at him. “Really? You’re not upset?”
“No, I’m not. I’m the opposite of upset. I’m thrilled. This is something to celebrate. A baby, Kate. Our baby.”
Maybe he should temper his enthusiasm. It seemed like she wasn’t digesting the news quite as happily as he was.
“I was afraid you would be upset. After the Vegas wedding and now this—I was afraid you would think I staged the wedding because I was pregnant.”
Her body shook with sobs.
“I didn’t, Aidan,” she continued. “You have to know I would never do something like that.”
“I know you wouldn’t do that.” He smiled at her.
Kate sighed as if the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders, but she still looked unsure. “You’re really not upset?”
“No. Absolutely not.”
Having a baby with Kate was one of the best gifts he could have imagined.
“Good, because I’m having this baby.”
“Of course. As far as I’m concerned, there’s no other option. However, you know that this means that there is absolutely no way we can get an annulment.”
She nodded. “I figured as much.”
They were quiet for a moment.
“I’m not sure what to do now,” she whispered. “I mean, about us. What we should do.”
“What if we give it a year?” he suggested. “By that time, the baby will be a few months old. That will give us enough time to think things through, so that we know we’re doing the right thing.”
She stood there quietly for a moment, as if she was processing her options.
Finally she nodded. “I think that sounds reasonable.”
“How would you feel about moving in with Chloe and me?”
She shook her head as if he had suggested that she join him in swimming in a pool filled with rattlesnakes. “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“What about Chloe?”
“What about her?” he said. “She loves you. She would be thrilled for you to move in. I mean, we’re married, Kate. It is not as if we’d be shacking up.”
“Yeah, but we haven’t even told her we’re married.”
“Well, then we need to tell her as soon as possible.”
“Or do we?” Kate said. “Why do we have to tell her? We could live separately and see where we are at the end of the year.”
“No.” He shook his head. “This is where I have to put my foot down. We have to tell her because she deserves to know she has a little brother or sister. It wouldn’t be fair to keep it from her.”
“You’re right. I know. I’m sorry.”
“And your family will find out soon enough. We need to tell Chloe then because she is likely to find out after we tell your family.”
“You’re right. We need to tell my family, too.” She looked panicked, but then her face settled into a look of resignation. She put her hand on her flat stomach. “I haven’t had a chance to digest everything. It’s a lot more complicated than I realized.”
She closed her eyes and looked absolutely miserable.
“Aidan, I kind of like living here in our bubble—just you and me. And Chloe, of course. But what if things don’t work out after the year we’re giving ourselves is over? I mean, I don’t want to hurt Chlo
e.”
“The only reason Chloe would get hurt is if we break up,” he said.
“Exactly. That’s what I mean. It is a very real possibility that we need to consider,” Kate said. “It could happen. You said yourself we would give it a year, a trial run. Who knows? At the end of the year, you might not be able to stand me. You might be the one who wants out.”
Aidan raked his hand through his hair. “I highly doubt it. I’m coming at this with the intention of making it work. That means I’m not going into it with a defeatist attitude. I’m not going to think that we’re doomed to fail before we’ve even given it a fair shake. I believe you’re worth the investment, Kate. We are worth the investment. Our baby, Chloe, the family that we are forming. It is all worth the ups and downs. Don’t you think so? How could you not think so?”
Kate sank into the corner of the couch and pulled her knees up to her chest. She looked tiny sitting there. It was as if she was trying to disappear.
“You’re putting a lot of pressure on me, you know?”
Maybe he was. He didn’t mean it that way. But by God, if she couldn’t bring her all, then maybe he should tell her she was free to go. That she could call him when she had decided what she wanted to do. But he didn’t want to do that. Because this child was as much his as it was hers. He was going to be part of their child’s life whether or not she wanted them to live like a traditional family.
But he wasn’t going to say that out loud. He couldn’t. Because all it took was one look at her face, and he could see how much she was hurting. And the fact that she hurt made him hurt, too. It turned his guts inside out.
Right now, he would be strong for both of them.
“That’s why we’re going to give it a year. We’re good together, Kate. Even if you don’t know it right now, I really believe we can make it work.”
She was silent for a moment, resting her forehead on her knees.
“I have been thinking about something.” She lifted her head and looked him square in the eyes.
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