by Kasie West
“No. I didn’t.”
“You should, with hops like that. That fence is, what, eight feet high, and I’m sure you didn’t leap off the ground or anything but—”
“Charlie.”
“Did you put one foot on the fence or did you rely on your hands to help you over? Because—”
“Please, Charlie, I can’t keep this inside me any longer. You need to know.”
“Stop. I don’t want to know.” I pushed my palms to my eyes. Too many unfamiliar things were happening to me lately, and I didn’t need him to add to it.
He grabbed my wrists, taking my hands away from my eyes. “Don’t hide from this. You already know. You have to know.”
“I don’t.”
“Think, Charlie.”
He dropped my wrists, and I was so nervous that I needed something to hang on to. I pressed both hands against his chest. I could feel his pecs through the thin fabric, his heart beating wildly.
“You know.” It wasn’t a question.
“I think, but I don’t want to.” I didn’t want to lose him as a friend. Not now, when I needed him the most. I didn’t know how I felt right now about anything. I knew I wasn’t completely myself. I felt off. And that wasn’t fair to him. Now wasn’t the time to try to figure out how I felt about him, when I didn’t even know how I felt about me.
“It’s time. You’re older now. It can only help things. They don’t think it’s a good idea, but you’re strong, I know you can handle it.”
Now I was confused. “Who doesn’t think it’s a good idea?”
“Your brothers.”
“It’s none of their business.”
“Of course it is.”
“They can’t tell you to stop having feelings for me.”
He froze mid-nod. “What?” A ripple of confusion ran down his face, and then a light of understanding. He took a step back, my hands slipping from his chest. “I . . . no. That’s not what this is about. Is that what you thought I was trying to tell you?” He put a hand to his forehead. “Man, I’m sorry. No, this is about something completely different. . . .”
I squeezed my eyes shut and wiped my hands on my thighs. “I’m such an idiot.” With an uncomfortable laugh I said, “Good thing this took place in our dream world so that tomorrow won’t be incredibly awkward.” I sidestepped around him and headed for the house.
“No, wait, Charlie, please.”
I lifted my hand in a silent good-bye without turning around, then let the door shut behind me. Of course Braden didn’t like me like that. I was his buddy, his pal, his sister. A burly girl who played sports. The only way a guy would ever like me was with a thick layer of makeup. Not that it mattered. I didn’t like him like that either. Well, maybe I had for a second, but he’d just made those feelings easier to resist.
Chapter 21
The next day, and the day after that, Braden didn’t come by the house. It was the longest he’d ever stayed away. Quite obviously he was avoiding me. It was fine with me because I was avoiding him, too. I felt like the biggest idiot. I thought that feeling might go away after a few days. But if anything, the more time passed, the stupider I felt. What had he wanted to tell me that night anyway? Why hadn’t I forced him to talk about it? Maybe because I didn’t want to know. It seemed serious. What if he had talked his mom into leaving his dad and now he was leaving with her? I didn’t like that thought. I didn’t want Braden leaving. No. That was selfish. If it meant he’d be happier, then of course he needed to go. The thought made my heart twist.
I tried to solve the tension by running more, sometimes even twice a day. It felt good to open my lungs and let my legs work out the energy bouncing through my body. On the fourth day after The Talk of Shame, I walked into the kitchen after a long run and saw Braden and Gage sitting at the bar.
“Hey, losers.” I could pretend nothing happened. It had been a fence chat, after all. I grabbed a cold water bottle from the fridge and took several large gulps.
“Braden and I were just discussing the fact that Amendola was picked up by the Patriots. I think it means they are the strongest team in the league because of the quarterback–wide receiver duo. It will be like Montana and Rice all over again. But Braden thinks the Rodgers–Cobb duo is still the strongest. Break the tie.”
“Neither. Broncos have Manning. End of story.”
“One person does not make a team.”
“It does if it’s Manning.”
“Manning is overrated,” Gage said.
I splashed some of my water at Gage. “You’re overrated.” Braden smiled and relief rushed through me. I just wanted things to be normal again. None of this awkward I-jumped-to-stupid-conclusions business. No more thinking about what else he might’ve wanted to tell me.
“What’s wrong?” Gage asked.
“Nothing.”
“Didn’t you already run once today?” He tilted his head as if he were confused about that, when my cell phone, which was charging on the counter, jumped with an incoming call. Before I could grab it, Gage swiped it up and answered.
“Hello?” A small pause. “What do you mean ‘Who’s this?’”
I took a sip of water and rolled my eyes. Anybody calling on my cell phone had dealt with my brother before. They’d know he was a jokester.
“Who are you?” Gage asked.
I lifted my toe to stretch my calf when Gage said, “Evan who?” I stopped suddenly, my heart giving an unexpected flip. Oh. Except Evan. He wouldn’t know. I held out my hand for the phone.
“I guess that depends,” Gage said into the phone, not making even the slightest motion that he intended to give it to me.
“I’m going to murder you, Gage. Give me my phone.”
He listened, then stood when he saw me coming around the island to retrieve the phone from him by force. As I passed Braden, about to catch Gage, Braden grabbed me around the waist and held me tight. Because he was sitting down, his face was level with my neck.
“Traitor,” I said, smacking him on the head a few times and then struggling to get free. “I hope my stink from running is burning your nostrils right now.”
He pressed his nose to my neck and took a big whiff. “Smells like sunshine and rainbows.”
I stopped moving as a chill went down my entire body, and forced myself not to shiver with it. Once in control, I grabbed a handful of his hair to pull him away from me, but froze when Gage started talking again.
“And how do you know Charlie?” He gave me a weird look. “A café? Are you sure you have the right Charlie?”
“Gage Joseph Reynolds. I am going to call every girl in your contacts tonight and tell them you are gay.” I shoved Braden away from me and he finally let go.
Gage laughed. “Oh, you know what, Charlie just walked in. Here she is.”
I punched Gage in the stomach and took two deep breaths. “Hello.”
“Hi, Charlie. It’s Evan.”
A smile took over my face. “Oh. Hi, Evan. How are you?”
“Who was that?”
“My brother. He’s a little slow but we love him anyway.”
“Hey,” Gage yelled. “I’m the smartest one in this house.”
I could hear the smile in Evan’s voice when he said, “He was obviously trying to irritate you.”
“Isn’t that what big brothers do?”
“I wouldn’t know, I only have one sister and she’s five years older than me.”
“Ah, well, take my word for it.”
He laughed. “So, I was just wondering if you still wanted to go to a baseball game with me, because my dad said we could use his tickets for this Saturday.”
“This Saturday!” I realized I had yelled in my excitement, so I cleared my throat and tried to calm my voice. “For sure. I’m in.”
“Great. Um . . . there are four tickets, so I thought we could take Dustin with us too. Do you think you can get one of the other girls to come? Amber maybe?”
“Sure. I’ll ask her. Where
should we meet?”
“I could pick you up. Five, maybe? It takes about an hour and a half to drive up there depending on traffic.”
“Sounds good. I’ll text you directions. And just a warning: that was only one of my brothers. I have four.” Yes, I included Braden in that count, since apparently that’s exactly how he saw himself. “And my dad is a cop.”
“Wow. Way to make a guy feel at ease.”
“You’ll be fine. See you Saturday.” I hung up the phone, the smile still on my face. There was nothing that made a girl feel better about a guy humiliating her than a different cute guy asking her out.
Behind me, Gage said in a low voice, “He will not be fine.” Then he laughed maniacally.
I whirled around. “If you ever do that again, something really bad is going to happen to you.”
“As in you are going to do something bad to me, or Fate is going to even the score? I really need to know, because it will make a difference in my decision.”
I shook my head.
“Who’s Evan?” Braden asked, his hazel eyes on me.
“Someone who is taking me to the A’s game this Saturday. And I know you both know who the A’s are playing. That’s right—the Giants.” I sang out a high-pitched note of taunting. “Who’s jealous?” I knew Braden was. I knew beyond anything that he would love to go to that game, and I felt terrible. But rubbing it in his face seemed the correct way to deal with those feelings.
Gage went to the kitchen drawer beneath the phone and pulled out a paper and pen. “Okay, you’ll need to write his full name here so Dad can run a background check.”
I sighed. “No.”
“How did you meet him? Where does he go to school? How old is he? Is he even an A’s fan?”
“Pretty sure he’s an A’s fan, since he has season tickets.”
“Call him back and ask if he has any extra,” Gage said.
“He does, but those are for my other friends. So tough luck.”
“Isn’t What’s-his-name’s wedding on Saturday anyway?” Braden asked.
“Who’s What’s-his-name?” I asked. “Wait, did I forget about some lame wedding I’m supposed to be at?”
Gage waved me off. “No. It’s this guy we know from years and years of soccer camp. He’s a couple of years older than Jerom.”
I pointed at Braden. “But obviously you don’t know him or you’d actually know What’s-his-name’s name.”
“I never went to soccer camp, Charlie.”
“I know.” Hadn’t we established I knew his life pretty well? “Soccer camp people do actually leave soccer camp at some point, though.”
Gage interrupted any comeback Braden might’ve come up with by saying, “His name is Ryan, and you’re right, his wedding is Saturday. Crap. How are we supposed to humiliate Charlie’s date?” He patted Braden on the shoulder. “Looks like it’s all on you, my brother. Make us proud.”
“I’ll do my best.”
Gage got up to leave, Braden trailing after him.
“Please don’t do anything to Evan,” I said to Braden as he reached the door.
He turned back. “No worries. I’ll steer clear.”
“Thanks.” If only I believed him.
Chapter 22
I came home from my shift at the store on Saturday just in time to see my brothers all tuxed-out for the wedding. “Look who cleans up nice,” I said.
“You’re one to talk,” Gage mumbled.
“Have fun,” I said, bounding upstairs. I only had about two hours before Evan would show up at my door, and I hadn’t exactly planned what I was going to wear yet. Last time Evan saw me, I was wearing my work clothes and more makeup than I had ever worn in my life. I knew I wasn’t going to replicate that, but I had no idea how far back I wanted to scale it.
My phone rang and I picked it up. “Hello?”
“Hey, Charlie, it’s Amber. So I bought a really cute A’s jersey to wear to the game because I had no idea what to wear to something like this. And then I wondered if that’s what I should wear and I didn’t want to feel stupid being the only one wearing an A’s jersey.”
She honestly thought it possible that she’d be the only one wearing an A’s jersey at an A’s game?
“So I bought one for you, too. They aren’t the same because I didn’t want to be twinsies or anything, but they were kind of boring so I bedazzled them.”
Bedazzled? What the heck was a bedazzle?
“I hope that’s okay. What do you think?”
“That’s cool. Jerseys are good. Thanks. How much do I owe you?”
“No, nothing. It’s on me.”
“Are you sure? Jerseys are expensive.”
“I’m sure. When do you want me to come over? I could come over soon and we can get ready together. Do you want me to, or would you rather I just come over right before the guys are going to come get us?”
“Yeah, why don’t you come over. I haven’t decided what to do with my face yet. You can help me.”
I heard her clap. “Yay. I’ll bring my makeup case.”
And when she said “makeup case,” she meant a large briefcase contraption that opened up and then expanded even further with different layers and pullouts.
“Just more natural this time, okay?” After all, my dad was downstairs. He’d see me.
“Of course. This is a baseball game, not a night at the club.”
“Right.”
She got to work right away on my face.
“What are you going to do with your hair?” she asked.
“I was just going to throw it back in a ponytail.”
“Yeah, that will be cute. Then our hair won’t take away from our awesome shirts.”
“True.” She hadn’t yet shown me these supposedly awesome shirts, but I was beginning to feel nervous about them. And I was right to feel that way, because when she revealed them I learned that bedazzling meant turning something cool into a glittering atrocity. My mouth hung open for a full minute while I took in the glowing gold A on the green V-neck jersey.
“I know, awesome, right?” she said, throwing it to me, then stripping off her shirt and putting her own jersey on. Hers was black with a silver A. There was no way out of wearing this and I knew it. So instead, I took off the shirt I wished I were wearing and put on the bedazzled jersey, thanking whatever form of good luck had made it possible for my brothers to be gone at What’s-his-name’s wedding.
“You look so good,” Amber said.
She did a full circle, and I realized that girl code required me to return the compliment. “Yeah, you too.”
My phone rang and I picked it up. “Hello?”
“Charlie, hey, it’s Evan.”
“Hi. What’s up?” I glanced at the digital clock on my nightstand. It was four thirty.
“Bad news.”
For a millisecond I hoped he was calling to cancel so I could take off this shirt.
“Dustin is sick. Like, beyond sick. Vomiting and the whole works. I’ve been trying for the last hour to find a replacement with no luck. Do you think one of your brothers can go with us instead?”
“My brothers are at a wedding. . . .” I stopped and looked at Amber, who was checking out the back of her shirt in my mirror, a big smile on her face. “I’ll find someone.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. See you in half an hour.”
“Sorry,” he said as he hung up.
“I’ll be right back,” I told Amber.
In the hall, I put the phone to my ear and listened to it ring three times.
“Hello?”
“Braden.”
“You don’t need to give me any threatening speeches. I really wasn’t planning to bug your date at all tonight.”
“The fact that you remembered I have a date makes me doubt that entirely.” Wait, why did he remember? Did it bother him? No. That didn’t matter. We were friends. “But actually, I have the best news ever. You will love me for eternity.”
“Uh-oh.”
“It’s not a bad thing.”
“Okay. What do I have to do?”
“One of our friends got violently ill today. . . .”
“Wow, that is good news.”
I laughed. “Well, I guess that’s not good news. But his ill fortune is your gain, because he can’t go to the game. Do you want to come with us?”
“To the A’s game?” I could hear the excitement in his voice.
“Yeah.”
“So am I replacing a guy or a girl?”
“A guy. Dustin. His date is Amber. She’s hot. Another reason you should be forever indebted to me.” I couldn’t believe I was doing this. I was setting up Braden with Amber. He really would fall for her. This was a good thing, I told myself. Exactly what I needed to happen so that Braden and I could maintain the amazing friendship we’d had for years.
He laughed. “All right. You twisted my arm.”
“Be over in half an hour.”
Chapter 23
My dad stared at me like I was speaking another language. I was convinced he had gotten over the initial shock of seeing me in makeup and a bedazzled shirt and had now moved on to trying to process what I was telling him. “Why didn’t you mention you were driving to Oakland before now? That’s kind of a big deal, Charlie.”
“I don’t know. I didn’t think you’d care. It’s the A’s game, Dad. Come on.” I hoped Amber, who was still upstairs putting the finishing touches on her hair, couldn’t hear us.
“Well, I do care.”
We each took a deep breath. My hands clenched into fists. He looked at me again and his face softened a little. He closed his eyes and when he opened them he said, “You look so much like her.”
My heart stuttered in my chest. So that was what the initial shock was about. With makeup on, I looked more like my mom. It was the wrong time for this, but my whole body waited anxiously for him to say something else. He didn’t. Instead, that familiar look of guilt filled his eyes. The one that said he wished someone else was in charge of me, because he had no idea what to do with me and this situation, and he felt bad about it. I hesitated, then said, “Is that why you’re so nervous to let me go? Because I’ll be driving a long distance in a car? We’ll be safe.”