by Hughes, Maya
I flung it open, and it slammed into the wall as I stormed out into the hallway.
“You’re a vile person who can only feel better about yourself when you’re belittling other people. You don’t talk to friends like that.” The tension had been building for the past four months and there was no stopping it now.
She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at me. “At least I have friends.”
“Do you? It seems to me they all fled the country to get away from you. All you do is browbeat Dan and act like a nuclear bitch to me. All I ever wanted to be was your friend.”
“You came in here with your violin and your fucking librarian clothes, and I see the way you look at Dan.”
I stared at her and it finally clicked. “You’re jealous.”
“Hell no.”
“Wow, you’re actually jealous of me. All this time I thought maybe that was just a personality quirk, but you’re actually jealous of me.” It was stupid that this hadn’t even occurred to me as a possibility before now, but when had I ever been around mean girls before? Living with Alexa was a crash course in hierarchical female dynamics. Her nostrils flared.
The front door opened and Dan stepped in. His gaze bounced from me to her.
“Are you going to let her talk to me like this, Dan?” She turned around, staring at him.
Dan stepped back with a box of pizza in his hands. “Seph?”
“Stop calling her that. Her name’s Persephone.”
“My friends call me Seph.” I stepped closer. There was no backing down this time. Semester break was in a few days, and I wasn’t going to let her stomp all over me anymore and treat me like shit. It was her or me, and it sure as hell wasn’t going to be me to back down first. Next semester would be wicked witch free.
“Oh, so you two are friends now?” She glared at me. “You’re trying to steal him from me.”
I threw my hands up in the air. “I don’t want Dan—no offense.”
He shrugged.
“But neither do you, right?” Her late-night shirtless sleepover buddies didn’t exactly scream, I’m in a serious and committed relationship.
Her face dropped and her gaze darted from me to Dan. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said through gritted teeth.
“What?” He dropped the pizza box on the counter and stepped beside her. “What’s she talking about?”
“He deserves to know. It’s the least you can do to prove you’re not a completely horrible person.” It was like cauterizing a wound. This would hurt, and Dan seemed so sweet; I didn’t want to inflict this on him, but he had a right to know.
“It’s none of your business.” She seethed at me like a snake eyeing up its prey, but I wasn’t scared of her anymore.
“What’s none of her business? What did you do, Alexa?” His voice pitched up and tears glistened in his eyes. Not how I wanted this to go down, but it was better it happened now versus later, and how quickly he jumped from the one thing I’d said to accusing her let me know this wasn’t out of the blue.
“It was nothing…just a mistake I made.” She turned and ran her hands over his chest.
Dan stepped back, staring at her like he was seeing her for the first time. “A mistake. Another one.” His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “You promised it would never happen again.” His voice cracked.
“You just had to stick your nose into my business.” Alexa turned on me, spitting her venom like I’d called that guy over to the apartment and made her do whatever she’d done with him.
I shrugged. “I guess I did, because I’m sick and tired of people like you railroading good people because they are too nice and put up with your shitty behavior.”
“We’ve been together since ninth grade. There’s nothing you can do to break us up. He’s never going to find someone who can give him what I can.” She grabbed Dan’s arm, trying to loop hers through his, but he pulled away, taking a step back.
“You lied to me again.” Tears welled in his eyes. “Who was it?”
“It doesn’t matter,” she cooed, like a sweet voice could erase the pain of her cheating.
“Who?” His voice cracked.
“Chad.”
I grabbed my coat. They needed to figure this out on their own. Their voices got higher and I dashed into my room to grab my bag. It sucked being the one to push them to this point, but I hoped it helped spare him the years of emotional abuse she’d heap on him. Maybe it would get her to see the error of her ways, to see that treating people like shit wasn’t a valid way to live her life.
I walked out of my room and he stood by the front door. Alexa switched between coos to placate him and snapping at him, telling him the horrible lies that had gotten her this far.
With my hand on the doorknob, I stared at him over my shoulder. “You deserve better, Dan. You deserve someone who’ll love you and who’ll never make you feel like you’re not enough. She’s out there for you.”
His gaze snapped to mine. Alexa shoved at his shoulder, nearly knocking him over. I tried to get him to believe it with my eyes. You can do it. I can’t do it for you.
He nodded and pulled the door open. Alexa jumped back so she didn’t catch a face full of wood, and Dan motioned for me to go through first. “You’re right.” He stepped outside and slammed the door shut behind him. A loud bang followed us on the way out, but I didn’t care. If she wrecked the rest of my stuff in the apartment, at least I’d helped Dan see the light of day, and if I could help him, maybe I could help my mom too. Then maybe at some point I’d be able to help myself. The distraction from the pain in my heart had helped. Maybe that was what I could do to avoid it, to avoid thinking about Reece—just keep pushing forward and helping other people, and then I wouldn’t have to stop and think about how I hadn’t even been able to help myself.
33
Reece
I threw my car into park near her building after pulling into the first spot I saw. My car hung halfway out, but I’d take a busted bumper if it meant getting to her faster. My heart hammered against my ribs. I’d walked out on the biggest press conference of my life up until now, and that was barely a blip on my radar. That win without her there to celebrate with me was a hollow yawning pit. I wanted her to run onto the field and wrap her arms around me, wanted to plant a kiss on her lips and stare into her eyes. I wanted her.
My dad’s words slammed into the center of my chest. A pro career lasted however long it took for my body to fail, but her love…that was forever—at least it would have been if I hadn’t fucked it up.
She walked out of her building, but she wasn’t alone. Dan stood next to her, looking like he’d walked through a minefield. She turned him and rested her hand on his arm then his shoulder. He nodded along with whatever she was saying.
I couldn’t hear the words, but this wasn’t a talk about what they liked on pizza. This was an intimate discussion. Standing on her tiptoes, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and he held on to her like she was a lifeline in a storm. His hands bunched her coat along her back.
Swallowing down the racing bile in my throat, I clenched my fists in my pockets and took a deep breath. My sneakers crunched on the thin sheet of ice forming on the ground.
Seph let go of him and smiled, the gentle, kind expression she had for anyone she cared about. The ice cracked under my feet and I wished I were on a lake that could swallow me up. I’d rather have felt the icy daggers of freezing winter water than watch her with someone else.
Her head turned and she spotted me. I knew because her smile faltered and then fell. The knotted pit in my stomach grew.
Dan turned to follow her gaze and his eyes widened. “Didn’t you just win the championship? What the hell are you doing here?”
I lifted my chin, jutting it forward. “I’m here to talk to Seph.”
Dan’s gaze bounced from me to Seph and back to me. “I—I’ll leave you two to talk. Thanks for everything, Seph.” He stuck his hands in his pockets
and walked over to his car, glancing back over his shoulder before hopping inside.
We stood on the freezing sidewalk, staring at each other. The puffs of air from her lips drifted over my face as I got closer.
“You came to my game.” I’d left the ticket there on the off chance she’d show up.
“I promised I would.” She shrugged. The uncertainty in her eyes killed me.
“There are a lot of ways I can tell you I’m sorry, but I thought I’d show you. Will you let me?”
She nibbled her bottom lip like she always did when she was nervous or trying to decide the best course of action. It wasn’t a flat-out no, so I’d take it.
“It won’t take long.” I held out my hand. “A ten-minute drive.”
She stared down at it and walked past me. My heart plummeted. I squeezed my eyes shut and dropped my hand. I’d royally fucked things up.
“Are we going or not?”
I spun around. She stood beside the passenger side of my car. Jogging over to her, I skidded on the ice and caught myself. She tugged open the door before I could get to her and climbed in.
Bracing my hands on the roof of my car, I looked up at the sky. Please don’t let me fuck this up.
We drove in silence. I had to take a few side streets to avoid all the post-championship celebrations. People took over the main roads with flags and banners hanging from their cars, cheering and chanting.
Seph craned her neck to check everyone out. “You’re missing all the fun.”
“I’m right where I want to be.” I peered over at her. My fingers itched to reach over and take her hand, to thread through hers and bring them up to my mouth. I wanted to kiss our interlaced fingers in a promise of forever.
Cars dotted the visitor side of the stadium parking lot. Most people from the losing team knew to get out of dodge. Exiting the car, I couldn’t stop myself from watching her. Her cheeks glowed with a wintry flush. Wisps of her hair had escaped the red knit hat she always wore. Was her hair braided underneath? Would I get to find out later? Would I ever get to run my fingers through her hair again as she lay on my chest sound asleep?
She looked to me with an eyebrow raised. That snapped me out of my daydream, wanting to both stretch this moment out in case it was the last and move past it with her by my side.
I walked to one of the doors of the stadium and knocked. Winning a championship had its perks, mainly the groundkeepers bending the rules for me just this once to get me inside. The wide hallways were eerily quiet. It was like walking into your childhood home after your parents had packed up for a move. It was just as you remembered it and yet completely foreign. This didn’t feel like the same place I’d been a couple of hours ago.
Seph sped up, brushing against my arm. I slowed down, navigating the twists and turns of the place I’d spent my last four years in, and it hit me: this would be one of the last times I’d be there.
“Where are we going?” She sped up to get in front of me.
“Here.” I guided her out of the tunnel. Swinging to the left, we went up a few stairs and I sat in the second seat in the first row, right on the fifty-yard line. I patted the hard-molded plastic seat beside me, holding it down for her to sit.
She eyed me and the field before sitting and staring straight ahead. “Why are we here?”
I leaned forward, resting my arms on the steel railings that lined the perimeter of the first row.
“I’ve played football since I was ten years old. It was flag football, but even then there were people whispering about how good I was. I’m sure there are thousands of kids all across the country who get the same treatment, but my dad was a former NFL player, so it was different.”
I tightened my grip. Soon there’d be a championship ring on my finger, clinking against the cold metal.
“But my dad would never watch me play. He didn’t even want me to play. For a long time, I thought it was because he didn’t believe in me or he was worried about me being better than him, worried I’d surpass his achievements.”
Our conversation replayed in my head.
“And what about now?” She leaned forward, her shoulder brushing my back.
“Now I know he was only trying to protect me. It was the only way he could let me do what he saw I needed to do. Stopping me would’ve been like asking me to stop breathing, so he did what he needed to do to let me play.”
She sat beside me in silence. The faraway echoing noises of people cleaning up around the stadium bounced their way across the field.
I took a deep, shaky breath. Turning fully in my seat, I took her hand in mine. “And I’d give it all up for you.”
Snatching her hand from mine, she jumped up. Her feet slapped against the hard concrete and my heart plummeted. She stared back at me like I’d told her I was headed to the moon. “Are you out of your fucking mind?”
My head snapped back. “It’s true.”
“If it’s true then you probably need to get a CT scan.” She snatched her hat off her head. Her hair stuck up as the static cling supercharged it. “Why would you ever say something like that? Is that what you think I want from you? I saw you out there tonight. You were indescribable. How could you even think for a second of throwing away all that talent? For what? For nothing? To prove a point?”
I stood and braced my hands on her shoulders. “It wouldn’t be for nothing, Seph. It would be for you.”
She glared at me and crossed her arms over her chest. “No, it would be for you. Then you get to make this big sacrifice and in fifteen years you’re staring at me like some stranger who stole something from you.”
“There wouldn’t be a day that went by without you that I wouldn’t feel that never-ending sense of loss, knowing I gave up something I could never get back, knowing I sacrificed being with the person I love for fame and glory to strangers who could never mean as much to me as you do.”
“You’re not giving anything up.” She jammed her finger into the center of my chest. “I’m not going to let you hold that over my head.”
The corners of my mouth turned up. “Does that mean I’ll be around to not hold it over your head?”
“I’m scared.” She nibbled her bottom lip.
I dragged her into my arms. “I’m scared too, Wild Child, but with your brains and my athleticism, we can outsmart or outrun any problem we come up against.” Running my fingers along the nape of her neck, I held on tight. Her lavender and library smell was a scent I’d wear any day if it meant I got to hold her. “At least for a few more years until my knees give out.”
She pushed against my chest and I loosened my hold on her like a creaky gate that needed oil. I’d never take this for granted again.
“I’m not going back to Boston.” She stared up into my eyes.
“I don’t care if you’re going to Timbuktu—we’ll figure it out when the time comes.”
Her eyebrows scrunched down and tugged on the buttons of my coat. “Did you just say you love me?”
I waited for the pulse-pounding freak-out or urge to backpedal, but there wasn’t any. There was only the bright glow of her smile and the warmth of my hand on hers. “You bet your ass I did, and I’ll say it every day for the rest of our lives.” I ran my hand along the side of her face and dipped my head.
Her lips parted in the sweetest invitation, and I poured my love into that kiss. The electrifying spark between us grew until I needed to get her to the closest flat surface immediately.
A loud squeal ricocheted from the loud speakers followed by some whoops and cheers. I glanced up and saw the two of us were up on the big screen.
Seph glanced up and her cheeks reddened. She dipped her head, holding on to the front of my coat.
Her head snapped back. “What the hell happened to your shoes?” She stared at them like they were something that had crawled out from the seafloor.
I looked down at the gray monstrosities on my feet and laughed. “After the game, I couldn’t find mine, so I stole Berk’s.�
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“If you’d have led with that, we wouldn’t even have needed your whole speech.” She pressed a quick kiss to my lips, laughing and shaking her head. “Since you wear the same size, maybe you need to let him have a pair. Is that a hole?”
The side of my little toe peeked out of a rip just above the worn-down rubber sole of the sneaker. I shook my head. “He’s freaking hopeless.” I held on to both sides of her face and rest my forehead against hers. “Let’s go home.”
“And where exactly is that?” She tugged on the edges of my coat.
“Wherever we are.” I groaned. “There’s going to be an insane party in our house—hell, all over campus. It’ll probably be going on for the next week.”
She tapped her finger along her lips. “I might have a spot.”
“Where?”
She turned and walked, holding my hand. I rushed to keep up with her as she said, “You’ll see.”
34
Seph
Cheers and airhorns blared all over campus. The roving crowds of marauding cheerleaders lurked around every corner. A drum beat banging out the school’s fight song got closer. Ducking behind some bushes, we hid as the impromptu marching band passed by, carrying a fifth of rum and their own battery-powered blender in a wagon they towed behind them.
Campus security walked by and high-fived them. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em, right? There probably weren’t enough citation notepads to give out to every person on the entire campus.
Pushing the wet, slick bushes aside, we stepped back out onto the path.
“Not that I’m complaining or anything, but where on campus do you think we’re going to find a place that’s not going insane right now?”
I tugged him forward, turning the corner. He stared up at the gray stone building and his head tilted to the side.
“Trust me.”
We walked in through the double automatic doors. There were papers strewn all over the floor, abandoned backpacks and orphaned coffee tumblers all over the tables. It looked like a zombie apocalypse movie. The circulation desk was empty and it was whisper quiet inside.