by E S Richards
“Jerry,” Linda lifted her head and looked him in the eyes. “You don’t get to tell me what I deserve.” Her words were stern once more, but laced with an enormity of love and concern. “I’m just happy that you’re okay. That’s all I care about.”
Jerry smiled at his loving wife and felt a lump start to form in his throat. How had he gotten so lucky to find a woman who loved him so utterly and completely, through everything that had happened and everything that was still happening? He could hardly believe it. Through it all though, he felt deeply sorry for her. At that very moment in time, he had never felt more frightened or nervous about what was going to happen to him. He could no longer trust himself or trust his actions. Despite however much he wanted to protect his family he knew he was no longer able. He was just a weak old man and sooner or later he was going to have to accept his fate. It made him hate himself and—to an extent—think less of himself as a person, even though he knew what was happening was beyond his control. But above all of that, he felt sorry for his wife because she was the one who was going to have to deal with him. She was the one who was going to have to watch him fade away and forget about her, while all the while her love for him would never falter. It would be painful for him, but Jerry also knew it would be excruciating for his wife. His dear, sweet Linda. She really didn’t deserve it at all.
Chapter 18
“Come on,” Chase whispered to Riley, “let’s go downstairs.”
The two of them climbed up from their seats on the couch silently, being careful not to disturb their grandparents, who had fallen asleep in each other’s arms. They looked so peaceful together, Linda’s head resting on Jerry’s chest while her arm curled around his neck. They’d been locked in that embrace ever since Chase revealed what had happened outside. Their grandma had been so worried about Pop, while Pop himself was more concerned about his own health and how that might continue to affect their family. It was a difficult time for them all, but Chase was confident they’d get through it together.
“I can’t believe that happened to Pop,” Riley commented once she and her brother were back down in the kitchen, closing the door so they didn’t wake their grandparents. “Did you see him like that then? In the bits he couldn’t remember?”
“No,” Chase shook his head. “Well, maybe. When I found him in the old milking station, he didn’t really say much at first. He didn’t seem to recognize me or understand where he was. It was all a bit strange to be honest, Riley.”
“Yeah, it definitely sounds like it,” Riley agreed. “It must’ve been so scary. Are you sure you’re all right about it all?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Chase nodded, though even he didn’t fully believe the words. “It hasn’t changed anything I guess; I just feel like we need to pull our weight a lot more around here now. Like we need to make sure we’re looking after Pop, and Grandma too, I suppose.”
“I know. I feel like so much has changed recently. And not just because of Mom and Dad dying.” Riley paused for a second, choosing her words carefully as visions of her parents flew through her mind. “This whole thing with Mia and the news alerts that we’ve seen. Do you think she really will be able to make it back here like Pop says?”
“Honestly?” Chase asked, raising his eyebrows slightly at Riley’s question as he filled himself a glass of water from the tap. “I don’t think so. This eruption sounds crazy. You remember what the headline said? Tens of thousands dead already… Tens of thousands. Mia is clever and she knows a lot about that sort of stuff but really? If she was right there, I don’t know if she’d have been able to escape.”
Riley was quiet for a moment. She appreciated her brother being honest with her; she just wasn’t prepared for how much the truth hurt her. If Mia wasn’t coming back and her grandparents were getting sick and old and fading away, then who did that leave them with? She and Chase were rapidly running out of adults they could rely on.
“We’re going to be all alone.” She spoke in a despondent voice, trying as hard as she could to hold herself together and be strong, but struggling nonetheless. “Aren’t we?”
Chase was at his sister’s side in a second. He had been worried about this. She seemed to be up and down like a seesaw for the time being; showing extreme signs of strength and then weakness straight after. He loathed to call it weakness, as he understood exactly where his sister’s worries were coming from. But as their family continued to experience more and more hardship, Chase knew just how much he and Riley had to hold themselves together.
“Riley, come on,” he encouraged her, wrapping an arm around his sister just as his grandmother had to Pop upstairs. “We got this, remember? Remember what I said to you before? We need to be strong—you’ve been doing so well.”
Riley shuffled awkwardly in her brother’s arms, disappointed in herself that she had crumbled again so quickly. She felt like she was being pressed into the ground by the pressure mounting on her shoulders. While she was aware that Chase meant well by everything he was saying, she couldn’t help but feel like he was blaming her in some way. Like he thought she should be doing better.
“I’m sorry, Chase,” she sniffed, determined at least not to cry this time. “I’m sorry I’ve let you down.”
“Hey,” Chase turned Riley’s body in his arms so she was facing him, just like he had in the barn. “You don’t feel like that, do you? You know how proud I am of you. You don’t ever need to worry about letting me down or losing me; neither of those things are ever going to happen.”
What was it about her older brother that managed to make Riley suddenly feel so different? She looked at him and saw her father standing over her, telling her to buck up and keep going, then cheering her on right through to the end. She remembered her dad at her swim meets, the only sport she had ever really gotten involved in. Chase was the athlete of the family and Riley was happy to let him fly that flag, but she’d always had a passion for swimming. The water made her feel so weightless, like there was nothing stopping her from going wherever she set her mind to. And her dad had always been there. Mom too. Riley saw them both standing on the balcony, cheering her on with the rest of the crowd. They had always believed in her and Chase did as well—why was it causing her so much trouble to see and believe that?
“Okay,” Riley shook her head at herself. “Jeez, what is wrong with me? I can’t keep doing this.”
“It’s not your fault, Riley,” Chase replied, hoping he had done his job to improve his sister’s mood. “I mean, look around you. Everything else is falling apart at the moment,” he laughed. “It’d be a bit weird if you weren’t too.”
“But you’re not,” Riley argued. “Are you?”
“I’m getting by,” Chase stumbled over his response, not anticipating how easily his statement could be thrown back at him. “I’m tired, I can tell you that much. And I’m scared about what’s going to happen—both with the volcano eruption and with Pop’s health. But I’m okay. And I promise you that I’ll tell you if I’m not, all right? Only if you make the same promise to me.”
“Okay,” Riley nodded, holding out her pinkie finger to Chase. “Promise.”
It was the signal for a promise that they had come up with when they were younger, something neither of them had used for a long time. Their mom had shown them it when they were little kids and they’d definitely not done it since she passed away. Chase smiled, curling his right hand into a fist except for his pinkie finger, which he too pointed out, toward Riley. Then the two of them curled their fingers around the other’s, leaned in, and kissed their own hands where the forefinger met the thumb in the fist.
It was a moment that made both Chase and Riley think back to their childhood and how everything had been since losing their parents. Neither of them could say it had been easy, but as they reflected, they both felt proud of what they had achieved and how they had dealt with things. They didn’t stay down in the kitchen much longer. The day had tired them both out and they were eager to get to bed as
soon as possible.
Chase laid a blanket over his grandparents as he passed them in the den, thankfully waking neither of them when he did so. They didn’t wake, in fact, until the very next morning when he returned with two steaming mugs of coffee, the smell finally jarring them from their slumber.
“Morning,” Chase smiled at them both. “I’ve just put the coffee there,” he pointed to the small table at the side of the couch. “Riley and I are downstairs, so come down for breakfast whenever you’re ready.”
Jerry and Linda thanked their grandson, appreciating his courteousness as he left the den and pulled the door closed behind him. Jerry stretched and looked at his wife. Her hair was a mess from the way they had slept and her clothes were all wrinkled, but she had never looked so beautiful. He told her so as well, enjoying the twinkle it gave her eyes as she received the compliment. For what had to be well over the billionth time since he first met her, Jerry regarded himself the luckiest man alive, no matter what other factors were currently affecting him.
“I’m really sorry about yesterday,” he spoke, feeling like he just had to say it one more time. “I’m going to try and keep better control of myself.”
“Jerry.” Linda took her husband’s cheek in her hand. “I told you before, you don’t need to apologize. What’s happening is out of your control and you know I don’t blame you one bit for it. We’re going to get through this together, but I don’t want you to ever blame yourself for what’s happening.”
“You know I do though.” Jerry’s face fell slightly, his eyes not meeting Linda’s. “I hate what’s happening to me—but mostly because I hate how much it’s hurting you.”
“I know, darling. But we can’t get mad at the things we can’t control. That’s what we always told the kids, remember? Do your best with the things you can change, and when it comes to everything else you’ve just got to accept the hand you’re dealt and find a way to deal with it. That’s what we’ll do now: we’ll just find a way to deal with it.”
“I love you, Linda,” Jerry sighed after a second, once again meeting his wife’s eyes. “I love you so much. You know that right?”
“I do,” Linda smiled back at her husband. “And I love you just the same. I always will.”
After the affectionate exchange, Jerry couldn’t bring himself to talk about the previous day’s events any more. He had said what he needed to say to his wife and he was happy with that. Secretly he vowed to do that every day from now on, to both Linda and the grandchildren as well. If he was going to fade away, he wanted everyone around him to know how much they truly meant to him before it happened. It was the least that they deserved.
To their delight, Chase and Riley had prepared breakfast for when Jerry and Linda got downstairs. There was cooked bacon and sausages, along with fresh eggs from the chickens and another pot of coffee. The chickens had taken a day or two to get used to their new home in the mudroom, but now that they were settled in, they were producing eggs again like usual and there were plenty to go around.
The bacon and sausages were probably an unnecessary addition to breakfast, but Chase and Riley had agreed they could splurge a little considering that—in the heat of everything—not one of them ate dinner the night before. They were still rationing carefully though, two pieces per person and one and a half sausages each. But it was enough, and not one of them finished the meal feeling like they were being shortchanged.
“I’ve got a few jobs that need doing today,” Linda remarked once everyone had finished eating and the plates had been cleared away. “I’ve been thinking about how else we can prepare, and there’s still quite a bit to do I’m afraid.”
“That’s my girl,” Jerry laughed, teasing his wife. “Always ready to send the people to work.”
“Well, you can clean the ventilation fans in the basement for that comment,” Linda laughed back, swatting her husband’s hand away as he playfully tried to grab her waist.
Chase and Riley smiled at one another. Clearly the night on the couch in the den and whatever conversations had happened between their grandparents since Pop went missing outside had done the pair of them good. They were laughing and smiling at one another like they remembered them doing when Chase and Riley were kids. It was nice to see, a reminder that even when things looked black, it didn’t necessarily mean that your outlook had to be negative as well.
“I think we should also try and make some sort of breathing masks,” Linda continued. “Something we can filter the air through if we need to go outside.” Jerry’s coughing had woken her more than once through the night and she was concerned about what he might have inhaled outside. She worried about Chase too, though she didn’t say it out loud. Until she was sure there was something wrong, it made no difference whether she kept her worries to herself or not.
“I can help with that, Grandma,” Riley offered, preferring the sound of that task to cleaning the vents in the basement. “I’m sure we can make something that’ll work.”
“Perfect,” Grandma Linda smiled. “And then Chase, I was hoping you’d be able to sort through the barn outside and see if there’s anything in there we can use to fortify the roof? This rain doesn’t look like it’s stopping any time soon, but the second it does I want us to be ready.”
“Sure thing,” Chase nodded. He would do that after he’d helped Pop with the vents downstairs—although he was sure the old man would be fine doing it by himself, he didn’t want to let him out of his sight for a little while. Plus, it was extremely dusty down there already; if Pop’s lungs could be spared a few more mouthfuls of dirt then Chase was happy. It might take a little added thought, but he was going to do everything he could to make sure the four of them survived this disaster and lived to tell the tale. It was going to take more than some volcano to bring down the Clarke family.
Chapter 19
Waking the next morning, Mia took a second to remember where she was and what had happened. Helena Regional Airport. Yellowstone. So many dead. She looked around where she lay on the floor and saw Jorge still asleep to one side of her. Sitting up as quietly as she could, Mia conducted a head count of the others, making sure everyone was still accounted for.
Jesse, Jadon, and Marcus were the next closest to her, the three college students who were now uncertain whether they would ever make it home. The father and daughter, Patrick and Allie, were both also still asleep, Patrick’s only remaining child wrapped firmly in his arms. Angelica and Michael—the former airport employees—completed the group, making them a strong faction of nine. Nine survivors. Twenty-six people lost to the lahars of the day before. Cynthia had died through the night too, her body moved as far away from where they slept as possible.
The smell of death was starting to permeate the airport lobby. Mia knew it meant they couldn’t stay there for much longer, not that she wanted to. It may have been little more than a day since the eruption of Yellowstone, but she knew the longer that she waited the more difficult it would be to make it back to Texas. And she was still determined to get there. No matter how long it took, she would see her family again.
Mia imagined that would be what the day held for them. Planning. She was unsure whether they would all travel in one direction as a group or whether people would want to go their own way, but she was certain none of them would stay behind. The airport was completely destroyed. Even for Angelica and Michael who had worked there, there was nothing worth sticking around for. It would likely be a very long time before any flights came in or out of Helena again.
Looking around the airport, Mia wondered where the bag that she and Jorge had brought off their plane had ended up. She knew there was a map in there and before she even set foot outside of the airport, she wanted to scope out where she believed the immediate kill zone of the volcano was. From her years of training and experience, Mia believed she could work it out fairly accurately. Especially after what she had witnessed in Helena. Climbing to her feet and pushing the makeshift bed she’d slept in to on
e side, Mia set off around the lobby to search for it.
The sight of it was worse than she remembered. Perhaps it was the light of day, though outside was still overcast and rainy, the ash cloud hanging ominously above all of their heads. Whatever it was, the lobby definitely looked to be in a worse state. The whole interior was filthy from the lahars that had run through it, now reduced to nothing more than little streams she could easily wade.
It seemed insane to think that only a few hours ago people had been killed where she stood. She remembered the little girl who had drowned, Patrick’s other daughter and twin sister to Allie. That was a loss neither of them would recover from for a long time; coupled with the fact the mother of the family had also been lost.
It reminded Mia of the death of her brother, Brogan, and his wife, Lauren. Ever since that day her main concern in life had been their children. Chase and Riley had become so incredibly special to her. Mia had always wanted children growing up, but it hadn’t managed to happen for her. She’d had relationships, but they never seemed to work out for one reason or another. In fact, in the months leading up to the crash that had killed Brogan and Lauren, she had been considering adopting. In a way, that had come to pass. Though she’d adopted Chase and Riley instead, she couldn’t imagine having life any other way. She loved them like they were her own and she had vowed to always protect them.
Seeing small personal belongings and souvenirs which now lay abandoned around the lobby further instilled in Mia how real this was, and how everyone was going to be affected. It didn’t matter where you came from, your status, or your wealth; the ash cloud didn’t know how to distinguish. She wondered what the government was doing. Did they really have a contingency plan for this sort of thing or were the wealthiest and most influential members of society just going to be escorted into some secret underground bunker where they could live out the disaster in luxury while the rest of the world struggled through?