“I don’t know,” he said truthfully. I have not been with many people, Kiko.”
She nodded, biting her lip.
Her dark eyes continued to study his.
“I haven’t,” she said. “…Known it to matter. If someone is sad and they want to be sad with someone else. Whether that ends up being sex or not-sex, or whatever else… the fact that there’s sadness there doesn’t make it not real.” She paused, thinking. “I just know I don’t want you to be anyone else. It doesn’t feel like you want me to be anyone else, either. To me, that feels good. To me, that’s enough. Do you understand?”
Jax waited to make sure she was finished.
Then he nodded, still turning over her words.
“Yes,” he said. “If that is what you meant, then I agree.”
He felt her relax slightly even as she leaned against his chest.
For a moment they just sat there together.
Jax thought of something else.
“What about Dex?” he said.
Kiko frowned, but the frown was more amused and puzzled than annoyed.
“Dexter? You think I want Dexter?”
Embarrassed, Jax shrugged.
He managed to hold her gaze.
“I know you have a choice,” he said carefully. “If you want that choice, it is there. I was not sure how you felt about him. But I know you could have him… if you wanted. He cares very much about you. He also wants you. Like I want you.”
She gave him another puzzled smile.
“Dex is like my brother. We’ve been friends for years. We’ve been fighting side by side for years. I think if Dex was interested in me at all, or saw me like that in any way, I would have picked up on it by now––”
“He is,” Jax blurted. “He is interested. Maybe he wasn’t before, but things change. People change. You do have that choice. If you want it.”
There was another silence.
That time, Jax felt a flicker of hurt on her.
It was different from the hurt of finding out Nick was alive.
It was different from the hurt of Nick being accepted back onto Black’s team. It was different from the hurt of finding out Nick was with Dalejem.
“Are you trying to push Dex on me?” she said. “Really?”
“No.” Jax shook his head, vehement. “No, I am absolutely not wanting that. I would be very upset if you chose him over me. But I wanted you to know.”
Swallowing, feeling his face warm, he met her gaze.
“I wanted to make sure you knew you had that choice. In case you would rather choose differently. In case it would feel like a missed opportunity…”
He trailed, feeling somehow at a loss.
It occurred to him that he’d blown this. She’d offered herself to him. She’d actively tried to seduce him, and he’d blown it. Worse, he’d made her feel rejected.
There was another silence.
Realizing he should be focused on comforting her, that this was about what Nick had done to her, not whether Jax himself got to court her, he felt his face warm.
“I’m sorry,” he began. “This is not the time. I wanted to speak to you, but not today. This is my fault––”
“No.” She shook her head. “No, Jax. It’s not. And you say that way too much.”
When he fell silent, she leaned her head against his chest, sighing through the thin material of his shirt. She still had her hand on him.
His hand still lay on top of hers.
When she looked up next, her eyes were serious.
“I’m going to kiss you now,” she said. “Unless you don’t want me to.”
He felt a flicker of pain run through him, making him wince.
He held her gaze.
“I want you to,” he said. “But I will probably feel at least slightly guilty for wanting this right now.”
She laughed.
Hearing that sound, hearing the realness behind it, brought an intense bloom of heat to his chest. It caught him off guard… threw him completely off-balance. He winced at his own reaction, even as his hand wrapped around her thigh.
He was still studying her eyes carefully when she sat up.
That time, she wrapped her arms around his neck, studying his eyes just as carefully back.
He watched every increment of motion, every tiny expression on her face, every flicker of feeling that glanced over her irises.
Then her mouth was on his.
She kissed him cautiously.
It was almost a question.
His arms coiled around her, and again, he was struck by how small she was.
His fingers wrapped into her thick black hair, and he leaned up, returning her kiss, then kissing her harder, parting her lips with his tongue, feeling her chest clench, then let out a low gasp when he yanked her deeper into his lap.
He didn’t know when, exactly, he’d started to view her differently.
He knew he lied to himself about it, when he got jealous of Jem… when he got jealous to the point of being openly resentful of the handsome seer.
He hadn’t really noticed the crush Jem had on Nick, not at first.
He’d been annoyed when Holo told him, annoyed by Holo laughing about it, annoyed at Jem for being a dick, annoyed that Jem appeared to be using Kiko, strangely relieved Jem had no real interest in her, coupled with an indignation that he didn’t.
None of it made any sense.
Jax chalked it up to the sessions with Miri.
He’d been confused.
He’d been working on himself with Miri then, and he got confused… first by transferring his feelings onto her, then by doing the same with Kiko… or that’s what he told himself.
He’d been alone for so long.
Holo was there, but somehow, it didn’t help.
Kiko put her hand on him, and it jerked him out of his mind.
A wave of heat rose in his chest, and he let out a groan.
He felt desire ripple off her from the sound.
She was unfastening his pants then, and Jax remembered abruptly where they were.
They were still on the plane.
The rest of the plane’s occupants had left them alone, back in the executive cabin, the one Black and Miri usually occupied when they were on board.
Black told Kiko to use it. Really, he told all of them to use it, to get some sleep if they could, but the others let Kiko have it.
The bottom line was, they weren’t alone… not really.
Someone could walk through those curtains at any minute.
Even if the construct wasn’t completely open, now that they were protecting themselves from seers again…
He pulled away from Kiko with an effort, glancing at the doorway.
Peering over the back of his seat, he saw seers and humans in the other compartment past the blue curtains. Most of them pretended not to notice his stare, but he caught the eye of Mika, who was sitting in one of the seat areas with Ace, Jorji, and Alex Holmes.
Mika quirked an eyebrow at him, amusement playing at her lips.
Ace, who sat across from her, noticed the direction of her stare and turned around, craning his neck and head. Seeing Jax there, he burst out in a grin. They could obviously see enough of Kiko to have some idea of where she was sitting.
When Jax looked back at Kiko, she lifted her own eyebrow.
“Do I want to know?” she said.
Jax exhaled, pursing his lips.
“I’m not sure.” His voice came out apologetic when he added, “It is not… private. I could close the door, but that won’t be particularly private, either. The seers, all of us… we have less privacy right now. Since you are with me, that is less privacy for you.”
Her mouth pursed.
Then her expression cleared.
“Ah. Those construct things, right?” She motioned above her head, as if the construct was a physical net sitting over all of them. “They changed something with that? Because of this new seer tracking down Black a
nd Miri?”
Jax nodded, relaxing slightly.
He’d forgotten.
Kiko was highly intelligent; he hadn’t forgotten that.
It was the other thing.
Black mentioned it to all the new seers here, not long after they arrived.
The humans here were different than the humans on Old Earth, maybe because they didn’t have their own, indigenous race of seers. Whatever the reason, the humans here had evolved with more of a quasi-seer interface with the world.
They definitely weren’t seers. But they also weren’t as blind as the humans Jax had grown up with on Old Earth.
Kiko was one of the more sensitive ones.
She understood and felt a lot, and not only with her mind.
She had a certain intuitiveness he’d seen in only a few other humans, at least to the same degree. Angel was one. Manny was another. Cowboy was probably the most like this, of any human Jax had ever met, on either world.
None of the humans where he’d been born were like Cowboy.
Then again, none were like Kiko, either.
Black mentioned he thought this ability in them could be trained, just like it could be with seers. Black claimed Cowboy had already received some training when he encountered him. Black had bolstered that training in the time since.
Kiko smiled. “Are you going to answer me?” she teased. “Are you under the impression that the state of the construct some kind of ‘seers-only’ secret? Because I hate to pull rank on you, but I do outrank you in this particular army, Jax.”
“No,” he said, shaking his head.
Then, remembering her first question, he shook his head again.
“I mean yes. It is the construct… they changed it. I meant no, it is not a secret. I just forgot how intuitive the humans are here.”
Thinking about that, he met her gaze seriously.
“I could train you. Or Black,” he added, when her eyes widened in surprise. “It wouldn’t have to be me. But if you’re interested, we could arrange for this. I think Black forgot… but he meant to do that. Before everything got bad with Faustus and the vampires and Nick. He likely just had to put it aside, given everything.”
She blinked.
She didn’t look annoyed.
He was unwilling to read her to find out exactly what she was thinking.
Leaning closer, he kissed her lingeringly, instead.
“I’m not crazy about the audience,” he admitted next. “I don’t know how you feel about it, but I’d rather wait until we can be alone.”
He kissed her again, feeling her light soften at his words.
“I want this,” he added, kissing her again. “I really want this. More than I can say. I want to be alone for that part, too… for the talking part.”
When he looked up that time, her eyes had softened with her light.
Then she smiled, and he felt a jump and flutter in his heart.
He hadn’t seen her smile like that in a long time.
Leaning down from his lap, she kissed him.
Raising her head long enough to smile at him, she lowered it and kissed him again.
He fell into that one, and for another long-feeling, however-many minutes, he forgot all about Mika’s smirk, and Ace’s wink and laugh from the main cabin past that doorway.
He really didn’t care about any of it.
18
Rank 10 Seer
Yarli nudged her human mate, smiling as she pretended she had to elbow him out of the way, even though four feet of space existed on either side of him.
When Manny didn’t look up from the monitor he was staring at, didn’t change his frowning stare, she lost her teasing smile and moved closer.
“What is it?” she said. “What’re you looking at?”
“There’s someone at the door,” he muttered.
Yarli frowned back. She slid closer to him, staring down at the color, three-dimensional image in the inset screen.
“So?” she said, puzzled. “Isn’t security down there?”
“Yes. They’re with him now.”
There was another silence.
Yarli looked at Manny’s face, then back down at the screen, puzzled.
She hadn’t felt anything unusual in the construct. She was about to aim her seer’s sight more specifically on the man down on the ground floor, when Manny spoke up. His words remained a distracted mutter, but he glanced at her, his eyes worried.
“I mean, I’m not crazy, am I?” he said. “That’s him, isn’t it? Isn’t that the guy?”
Yarli blinked.
Then she bent down, staring at the image.
Hitting a few keys, Manny zoomed up on the man’s face, showing a clearer image of his features.
Once he had, Yarli felt her throat tighten.
Gaos. How had she not seen it?
His hair alone, which hung down to his shoulders… not to mention the color of his eyes… the two things were so obvious now, she wondered how her eyes had glanced past both. Those silvery-white streaks in his dark brown hair stood out, shockingly bright in the zoomed-up image.
The colors and contrasts of his hair strangely blended, clashed, and contrasted the pale gold eyes, not to mention the bizarre ordinariness of the clothing he wore.
She stared at his sculpture-like mouth, the tell-tale of a seer.
She recognized the exact curves and lines of his thick jaw and cheekbones.
He didn’t look like an ordinary seer exactly; the features of most seers were smaller, more delineated, less coarse, more handsome. But he wore enough of the tell-tales––height, eye-color, mouth, high cheekbones––it was impossible to un-see his race.
He wore clothes now.
Maybe that’s what threw her.
He wore a dark shirt, faded blue jeans, dark blue tennis shoes… even a gold watch.
He didn’t wear a coat or jacket, which was unusual for San Francisco at night, even in the summer… sometimes especially in the summer.
Despite those unusual-for-a-human eyes, and the metallic silver in his hair, he looked strangely, disarmingly normal.
Yarli hit through an emergency sequence in her headset even as she slid her consciousness into the Barrier. She connected solidly with the military-grade construct they’d re-established over the building.
She tried scanning him while the connection went through.
She pulled back when she both felt and saw him flinch.
Then those pale, white-gold eyes were staring upward, directly into the camera.
That shapely but stern mouth tightened perceptibly.
Just then, Yarli made contact with the other beings she’d sought out in the construct.
Boss? She fought not to shout at him in the Barrier. Doc? Can you hear me?
She opened her light to both of them.
Black? she sent, a touch louder. Dr. Fox? I need one or both of you to answer me immediately… or call in to me or Manny at the Raptor’s Nest.
Black’s mind rose.
We’re eating dinner, Yarli. You’re going to get me in trouble with Yumi Tanaka. That woman doesn’t miss a damned––
Yarli didn’t let him finish.
He’s here, she sent frantically. The seer from Hollywood… the dragon. Silver and white-streaked hair. Gold eyes. Same face. He’s here.
There was a silence.
Miri’s presence rose.
Where? the doc sent.
Yarli changed her focus without missing a beat.
On the premises. He’s down in the lobby, boss. He just walked in through the front fucking door. Now he’s talking to your security people. Feeling her jaw harden, Yarli added, I didn’t feel a damned thing. Manny saw him on the monitor and recognized him. He’s just outside the private elevator…
There was a silence.
In it, Yarli heard and felt nothing.
She didn’t pick up so much as a whisper, despite the dense construct.
Then Black’s mind rose.
&nb
sp; Cold.
Stripped of emotion.
It wasn’t even his military voice, but… something else.
Evacuate the building, he sent. We’re on our way.
Yarli heard a faint ping go off in her ear.
She glanced at it, but just to note it in passing.
She scarcely ID’d the signal before she dismissed it.
One of the secondary security notifications, indicating that the elevator was in use.
Someone had recalled it to the penthouse floor.
It was probably Wu.
Black had Wu running things for the operational side of things, for the duration of the time Black and Miri were gone. They’d never transitioned back, so Wu was still in charge, although Manny helped him out a fair bit, especially when it came to building security. Yarli herself handled the infiltration team, and the constructs.
So the elevator was probably Wu.
Wu either brought it upstairs to keep anyone on the lobby floor from using it––which was smart; Yarli honestly wished she’d thought of that––or Black had him moving around some of the human military-security types, putting them on a few different floors to cover different areas of the building.
Knowing Black, he’d want redundancies built in, even if he planned on handling the guy on his own. He’d want to know there was a back-up plan, in the event he failed.
Black was good like that.
Sometimes, Black really reminded Yarli of his blood-cousin, the Sword.
In other respects, however, they could not be more different.
Really, that particular style of military mindset––a strategically cautious, verging on paranoid way of thinking––was the only thing Yarli could say with confidence the two men shared in common.
Black told her to evacuate the building, but Yarli wasn’t the only one doling out orders, even here, inside the Raptor’s Nest. Yarli hadn’t paid a lot of attention to what the others were doing. She focused on the duties in front of her, namely, furthering the evacuations Black tasked her with.
She’d already gotten more than a third of the building’s occupants out, starting with tech and high-security personnel, most of them stationed in the science wing, the computer center, or working in the company labs. Black had a lot of equipment housed here now, not to mention vast stores of data, so she’d been forced to sequence the teams carefully, leaving more time for those who had to upload sensitive data and/or cut the cords to cloud systems until it was safe to reinstate them.
Black Of Wing: A Quentin Black Paranormal Mystery Romance (Quentin Black Mystery Book 14) Page 15