by Cassia Leo
“Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said as I passed him on my way out of the dining room. “I just wish I would have come home when he did.”
I nodded quickly and left before the first tears rolled down my face. Luke and I reached the bedroom and he immediately took me into his arms. My face ached with the effort of holding in the flood of emotions. It wasn’t just the regret over the fact I drove my brother to the building he jumped off of; it was the fact that there was someone else in my house who actually understood this regret, and I couldn’t even pull myself together long enough to have a conversation with him.
Luke cradled my face as he kissed my forehead. “I know what’s bothering you, and I think you should go down there and talk to him. I’ll stay here and get some work done in case the kids wake up.”
“No, it’s your birthday. I want to spend it with you.”
He shook his head adamantly. “I want you to go down there. I can’t make love to you when I know your mind is elsewhere. Go.”
I let out a deep sigh. “How did I get so damn lucky?”
He smiled the same dazzling smile that captured my heart the day I walked into his office four years ago. “It wasn’t luck. I tricked you into working for me. Remember?”
He kissed me tenderly and, for a moment, I was lost in him, aching for more. He pulled away and laid a soft kiss on my cheekbone.
“Try not to take too long,” he said with a grin. “It’s still my birthday for another three hours.”
I knocked on the door to the guestroom and Brandon shouted, “Coming!” When he answered the door, he was already showered and wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. I was speechless for a moment as I took in the definition of his chest and ab muscles, then the burn scars covering his right hand all the way up his forearm. He switched hands so his left hand was holding up his towel, and he tucked his right hand behind his back.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to stare.”
He shrugged. “It’s cool. I’m used to it.”
He stood there waiting for me to tell him why I was there, when it dawned on me he didn’t have any clean clothes to change into.
I held up my hand. “Just stay right there. I’m going to get you something clean to change into.”
When I got to the bedroom, Luke was in the shower, so I quickly sneaked an unopened pack of boxers and an outfit out of the walk-in closet, then I made my way back down to the guest room. I presented Brandon with the stack of clothes and he cocked an eyebrow.
“Thanks, but I can’t accept that.”
“Yes, you can,” I insisted, holding the clothes out farther, until I was practically pressing them into his chest. “Go ahead and change. I’ll ask Myrna to wash your other stuff, and you can change back into that tomorrow if you want.”
He took the clothes from me and went into the guest bathroom to change. When he came out, I was surprised at how normal he looked. Actually, even though Luke’s clothes hung a bit loose on him, he looked better than normal.
He tossed the towel onto a chair in the corner and ruffled his damp hair as he took a seat on the edge of the bed.
“What happened to your hand?” I asked as I dropped his towel onto the floor and took a seat in the chair.
“It happened a couple of months after Ryan left. They moved us farther north, and I’m pretty sure he knew that’s where he was going for his second tour.” He paused for a moment as his eyes glazed over. “A fucking IED got us and the gas tank blew. I watched my buddy get burned alive.”
“I’m so sorry. I hope I haven’t upset you.”
He stared straight ahead without blinking and I recognized that look. It was the same expression I saw on Ryan’s face almost every day for months before he took his life. He finally blinked and glanced at me before he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.
“Do you ever get the feeling Ryan knew something we didn’t know?” He asked the question as if we were having a casual conversation, but there was nothing casual about this dark question.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and took a deep breath as I remembered all the times I’d traversed the Golden Gate Bridge, hoping for an answer to that same question. “All the time,” I whispered. “He told me something a couple of days before he died. Luke is the only one who knows. I haven’t even told my parents.” I paused to gather my courage as Brandon stared at his hand. “He told me that people are stupid to think that hope and faith are enough to get anyone through anything.”
“Jesus,” Brandon whispered. “That’s dark.”
“I know,” I replied. “But he was right. You can’t skate by on hope and faith. It takes more than that. You have to be willing to ask for help.”
He looked up at me and I flashed him a soft smile to acknowledge that I recognized this quality in him. He nodded, though he didn’t smile. But he kept talking. We shared our memories of Ryan for a while longer before it started to become too much for me. Just thinking about my brother was exhausting. Talking about him was enough to dampen my mood for days. We said our goodnights and I trudged back to the bedroom, making sure to avoid looking at the picture of Ryan in the upstairs hallway.
Chapter 4
Luke
Brina walked into the bedroom looking a bit shell-shocked. I closed my laptop and set it on the floor. “Are you okay?”
She nodded as she walked toward the master bathroom. “I’ll be quick.”
Thirty minutes later, the shower was still running, so I went in to check on her. She was sitting on the floor of the shower, hugging her knees as the water ran over her back. I didn’t even bother taking off my boxers before I stepped inside and crouched in front of her. The water was stingingly hot. When she looked up, her eyes weren’t red or puffy as I expected; she was just thinking. Brina could throw herself into a pit of despair simply by thinking too much.
I shook my head as she smiled weakly. “You don’t have to smile.”
She locked her fingers around my neck and I kissed her forehead as I lifted her up until she was standing.
She slid her arms around my waist and we stood like this, holding each other for a while before she pulled her head away from my chest. She slipped her fingers under the waistband of my boxers and slid them down until they splashed onto the floor of the shower. I got an instant erection, which pressed against her belly as she wrapped her arms around my waist again. Laying a soft kiss on the top of her head, I tasted a bit of shampoo as I held her tight against me.
“Come here, baby,” I said as I turned her around so the water was hitting her back.
She leaned her head into the water and I massaged her scalp until all the suds were gone. Her neck looked so enticing. I couldn’t resist leaning in for a taste. Her hands slid around my neck, reaching behind me to clutch my hair. She yanked my head up and crushed her lips against mine.
Her lips tasted clean with a hint of sweetness from the wine. I pressed my fingers into her soft flesh as I slid my hands down her back and over her ass. She hooked her arms around my neck as she prepared for me to lift her.
I grunted as she pushed off the floor and jumped up. I caught her around the waist as she wrapped her legs around my hips. Pinning her against the wall, I was suddenly ravenous for her. I rocked my hips until I found her spot and slid into her. She gasped, and I bit down softly on her shoulder to stifle a deep groan.
It should be illegal to feel this good.
I kept one hand firmly gripped under her thigh as I slid my other hand between her legs to find her clit. She sucked in a sharp breath and I knew I’d hit it. She dug her nails into me as I worked slowly, sliding in and out of her and caressing her until her eyes began to roll back. I thrust my tongue into her mouth as she began to pant, ready to swallow her screams as I finished her off.
She writhed against me, squirming with pleasure as I plunge myself deep inside her. “Luke!” she whimpered, and that’s all it took.
I exploded inside her as she clasped her hands a
round the back of my head and pressed her forehead hard against mine. Her body quivered as my legs and arms weakened. I held on for as long as I could then planted a soft kiss on her lips before letting her down onto the shower floor.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I shouldn’t have invited him here without asking you first, especially on your birthday.”
“You don’t have to apologize.” I smoothed the hair out of her face and kissed the tip of her nose. “I should have been more understanding, because I know you’d never do anything to hurt me or the kids. I do trust your judgment.”
After we dried off and settled down in bed, she snuggled up in my nook and I kissed the top of her head. She kissed my chest, and that hunger began to build again.
“You’d better not start something you can’t finish. It’s still my birthday, you know.”
“Oh, I know. I have your present waiting for you. I’ll give it to you as soon as Brandon leaves tomorrow.”
She slid her hands over my chest then down my stomach until she wrapped her fingers around my hardening cock.
“Can’t we kick him out now?” I murmured.
“Be nice.”
Her chest glided over mine as she climbed on top of me. I grabbed her ass to pull her up until she was in just the right position for me to enter her. She slid down, keeping her chest close to mine, because being on top always hurt her unless she leaned forward. It was the one curse of having a big dick.
She ground her clit into my pubic bone as she rode me slowly. I propped myself up a little so I could take her breast into my mouth. She moaned as I swirled my tongue around her nipple. Grabbing her waist, I flipped her onto her back and she yelped. She quickly clapped her hand over her mouth, because she knew that was too loud. Sure enough, Lucas’s alarm sounded. At least he pressed the button instead of barging in on us.
Chapter 5
Brina
I called Ben at the office to tell him I was coming in late. After an awkward breakfast, where Luke was obviously trying not to comment on the fact that Brandon was wearing his clothes, Myrna finally delivered his freshly washed clothes to him and took the kids upstairs to get them ready for their morning walk.
Luke was all too happy to volunteer Perry to drive Brandon back to the counseling center, where Ben and I would be working with Tracy at the Compass Center to get him into transitional housing. Luke watched from the front door as Perry and I walked Brandon out to the car at the end of the driveway. When we reached the car, I looked over my shoulder and Luke was gone; it was a small show of faith, but it meant the world.
“Thanks for everything,” Brandon said. “I hope I didn’t make Luke too uncomfortable.”
“Don’t be silly,” I said, waving off his apology. “Luke is not easily flustered. Trust me, I’ve tried.”
He looked around for a bit, taking in the neatly manicured landscaping and the Bugatti parked behind Perry’s car. “Thanks for talking to me. It’s good to know there’s someone out there who knows what it’s like.”
I squinted at him. “What what’s like?”
“To fight off the demons,” he clarified. “The voice that tells you Ryan had it all figured out. That’s the shit you have to fight, because he was probably just as clueless as we are.”
I didn’t know if I wanted to smile or cry, so I hugged him. He laughed as it took him by surprise. I let go quickly and he was staring shyly at the paved stone driveway.
“I guess I’ll see you around the center,” I said, and he nodded as he rounded the front of the car and got into the passenger seat.
It didn’t take long to find Luke sitting outside on the deck overlooking the lake with a cup of coffee. I snuck up behind him, wrapped my arms around his neck, and laid a hard kiss on his scruffy jaw.
“Happy birthday, baby.”
He cocked an eyebrow, completely unimpressed. “Too late. I already found another girl who’ll give me presents on my real birthday.”
“Darn. And I was just going to give you a birthday blowjob.”
He looked up at me, trying not to smile as he let out a sigh. “Well, I guess one belated birthday gift is forgivable.”
I scooted around the chair and sat in his lap. “Well, I’ll have to save that gift for later.” I planted a soft kiss on his lips as he pulled my legs over the arm of the chair so I was closer to him. “I told Ben yesterday that now that the center is up and running, I have to cut back my hours. No more than thirty hours a week now.”
Luke’s eyebrows scrunched together over his gorgeous aquamarine eyes. “But I thought you were working long hours because you found it fulfilling. Don’t cut back your hours for me if it’s only going to make you unhappy.”
“It’s not just for you. It’s for the kids. I need to spend more time with them, especially Lucas.”
He shook his head. “That kid is all you, B. Stubborn as hell.”
“Please don’t call me B. You know how much I hate that. And he may be stubborn like me, but he’s jealous like you. When he woke up last night, he told me he didn’t want me to go back to bed with you.”
“That’s because you’ve got the softest pillows,” he said as he slid his hand under my shirt and squeezed my breast.
I rolled my eyes at his inability to focus. “I’m cutting back on my hours for both of us.”
His hand slithered over my ribs and I shivered as he kissed my neck. “Thank you,” he whispered against my skin. “But there’s one more thing I need from you.”
“More than changing my work schedule and a birthday blowjob?”
“Yes. I want you to promise me that you won’t allow any more projects to keep you away from the kids,” he said, looking me straight in the eye to gauge my reaction. “I can carry on without you, sort of, but the kids need you here more than I do. I don’t want you to be a fucking housewife. But I’ve been trying really hard to get home by four o’clock every day.”
“You have?”
“Yeah, you just haven’t noticed, because you’re never here.”
I grabbed his face. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want you to feel like I was trying to guilt-trip you. I guess I thought you’d figure it out on your own.”
“I’m sorry.” I kissed him, and he laughed. “Why are you laughing? It’s not funny. I’ve been totally neglecting my husband and kids.”
“Don’t start beating yourself up,” he said, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. “The important thing is you did figure it out on your own. And I learned not to get pissed about your lost puppy dog complex.”
“Lost puppy dog complex? Is that what you call it when I bring home a homeless human being? That’s awful, Luke.”
He rolled his eyes. “Okay, you’re right. That sounded bad. You can bring home as many lost puppies and humans as you want. I promise not to make any disparaging comments or get jealous when you give them my clothes.”
I brushed my thumb over his eyebrow and smiled. “How about when I sleep with them? The puppy dogs, I mean.”
He was silent for a moment, then he too smiled. “Well, you are spayed, so the more the merrier.”
“The most trusting husband of the year,” I said, planting another kiss on his scruff then whispering in his ear, “I think you deserve two birthday blowjobs. One this year and another one next year.”
“You spoil me too much.”
I kissed him slowly, drawing out the moment in hopes that we could stay like this all day. Beneath me, his erection was growing, and I began to dread the next words out of his mouth as he pulled his lips away.
“Want to call in sick?”
I smiled at his suggestion, because Luke had never called in sick. He didn’t have to.
“Are you neutered?” I asked playfully.
“Hell no. You know my dream is to make it onto Maury Povich.”
“Well, I’m sorry to break it to you, but there is a 99.999% chance that Rhianne is your daughter. That means there’s a 99.999% chance you’
re going to have to change a diaper today if you call in sick.”
He stood from the chair while still holding me in his arms. “I always knew you’d have me living life on the edge.” He kissed me tenderly, and I nipped his lip as he pulled away. “Do you trust me?” he asked, and I nodded. He grinned mischievously. “Bad idea.”
He carried me across the deck and down the steps to the slip where he kept his speedboat. I only had a second to scream before he jumped into the lake. I resurfaced quickly, gasping for air as my mind tried to comprehend how water could be this shockingly cold.
“Now you have to call in sick,” he said as he pulled me toward him.
My teeth instantly began to chatter. “Only you would throw me in a freezing lake to get me to stay home.”
His thumb stroked my cheek. “I’ll do anything to spend more time with you.”
“Well, how about you start by getting me out of this lake and getting me into the shower before I freeze to death.”
He smiled that same devious smile I often spied on Lucas’s face. “Then…can I tie you up?” he asked.
I nodded hastily. “Yes, Luke, you can tie me up, tie me down, tie me to the train tracks. Do whatever you want with me. Just get me the fuck out of here.”
“Deal.”
I wrapped my legs around his hips and pulled him in for one last cold, wet kiss, because I knew Luke would get me out before I froze.
Luke could always be trusted to do whatever kept the kids and me safe and happy. And now I could trust myself to do the same. Being needed by the foundation felt great, and I’d never give it up as long as I had the energy and means to sustain it. If Ryan were here, I think he’d finally understand: Our families need us far more than we think they do.
Part 7
Decode
Chapter 1