I looked at him. “Why aren’t you happier?”
“About what?”
“About Baine coming home? He’s your best friend.”
My brother blew out a sharp breath.
“Sorry. I know. He left you too. This can’t be easy for you.” I hugged him. “I just wish I knew why he left in the first place.”
“You really don’t know?” Felix blurted out.
I turned just in time to see Resa elbow him in the ribs. “Maybe you should go ask him,” she said.
I didn’t miss the look Killian shot at the two of them.
“Y-you know, don’t you?” I asked. I looked to Tori for comfort but all I found was guilt. I took a step back. “All of you know. Why? Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“We didn’t want to upset you. That’s all. You had more important things to worry about,” Tori said. “We just didn’t want you to get hurt.”
“Well it hurt when he left,” I blurted out. “He never even said goodbye.”
“I know you guys were close and all, but it was for the best,” Felix said.
“What was?”
Tori tried to discreetly shake her head and I knew whatever it was it was something big.
I turned on my brother. “Tell me now.”
He blanched. Killian never backed down to anyone, well, except his niece. He gulped. “It was a long time ago, Olivia. Just let it be. He should have already left by now. If it wasn’t for this stupid storm you probably wouldn’t even have known he was here.”
Something told me that my brother would have preferred it that way. That’s what I had never understood. Killian and Baine had been closer than blood. They did everything together. There were times I’d even been jealous of Killian because I wanted to spend time with Baine.
I’d had a secret crush on Baine Landry for as far back as I could remember. He made me feel special, cherished. I missed that. I missed my friend, but we were so much more than that.
When I turned sixteen, I had a small party. It was always just me, my brothers, my cousins, and Baine. Kano was older and hung out with us less. Tori and I were the babies of the pack but we’d all grown up together and were really close.
Killian, Kano, and Baine had a pact to watch out for me. No guy was ever going to be good enough for me. I had suspected as much, but on my sixteenth birthday, Baine confirmed it.
There had been a big bonfire. I didn’t want the entire Clan there, so I’d made them promise to keep it lowkey, and they did. It was just the seven of us. Kano bailed early, and as the night grew one-by-one the others said goodnight until it was just me and Baine.
He was twenty at the time, four years older than me. I remembered that day like it was only yesterday.
“Good birthday, O?”
“It was okay.”
“Just okay? I thought you got everything you wanted.”
It was true. I’d gotten everything on my list, but what I really wanted wasn’t on there.
I shook my head. “Not what I really wanted though.”
“What was that?” he asked.
“A kiss. I’m sixteen years old and I’ve never been kissed.”
“And as far as Killian and I are concerned, you never will be either.”
I groaned. “It’s not fair. All the boys here are scared of you two.”
He nodded. I could tell he wasn’t comfortable with the conversation. He was agitated more so than usual.
“That’s a good thing,” he insisted.
“Then you kiss me. At least then I’ll have been kissed.”
I don’t know what possessed me to say it. It was no surprise that he was my favorite person in the world. He had always been, but everyone thought of him as just another big brother for me. I had never thought of Baine Landry as brother material.
“That’s not a good idea, O,” he said, but his voice was deeper than usual. My entire body responded to it too.
“I think it’s a very good idea, Baine. I want you to.”
He stood up and I knew he was going to leave. I jumped up to stop him.
“I’m sorry. Don’t go.”
He turned and I didn’t think he realized how close I was. We were chest to chest. His was rising and falling harder than usual. I knew that because there wasn’t anything I didn’t notice or know about Baine.
His hand went to the back of my neck and fisted in my hair. We stood there like that for a long time while just staring into each other’s eyes as the last of the fire died out
I was mesmerized by the war waging in his.
Slowly he lowered his head and he kissed me. It wasn’t some awkward first kiss of two kids with no experience. He claimed me with his lips, and I knew in that moment I would never settle for less.
My lips still tingled at the memory. That had been the start. Afterwards, it was like Baine couldn’t stay away. Oh, he tried. He always wanted to do the right thing. He always wanted the best for me. We talked about it a lot, but in the end neither of us could stay away for long.
For almost two years we kept our love for each other a secret from everyone we cared about. That didn’t make it any less real though. Macie was conceived in love. I had no doubts about that.
When he left it nearly destroyed me. I couldn’t understand it and for a long time I struggled to accept it.
As I looked around the room at my loved ones, it hit me like a sledgehammer—I was the only one that didn’t know why Baine had left.
Baine
Chapter 5
I tossed and turned half the night. There was no way I was going to sleep. I was used to functioning on little to no sleep, but something told me that wasn’t going to be a good thing here. I looked at the clock and it was three in the morning.
I got up and dressed, deciding that I needed a run. I swore to myself I wouldn’t go after her. I had seen her working at the salon. She had always loved playing with hair. It appeared she had gone on to do it professionally. That was just a guess though because I wouldn’t dare ask her brother.
Kano was being nice. He had even apologized, and he hadn’t once threatened to kill me for setting foot inside Clan territory.
I knew he was stressed about his dad and no matter how many times I tried to tell myself I hated the man, I just didn’t, I couldn’t.
My parents had died when I was fourteen. I was left an orphan. The Clan became my family as happens with orphaned cubs, but more than that, the Murphys had taken me in and made me feel like I was a part of their family.
Pike had been a better dad to me than my own had been. Not that there was anything wrong with my dad, he was just always too busy for me. I came second to his job. I came second to my mom. I even came second to his car. My dad had loved to work on cars. Unfortunately, he wasn’t very good at it, as proven by the fact the brakes went out and he and my mom had gone over a cliff and into a ravine coming back from the city for a business party. It was pretty ironic actually. He had all the things he loved the most, and being an afterthought, I’d been left safely at home.
The Alpha had moved me in and raised me as one of his own cubs. At least that’s how it had felt until I faced the disappointment in his eyes confirming what I’d always told myself. I wasn’t good enough for Olivia Murphy.
Losing the love of my life had nearly destroyed me, but it was more than that because I’d lost my family and my best friend too.
My feet pounded the pavement as I ran letting the memories in but only enough to save me from myself. Being home and having Kano’s approval to be here would only make it all the harder to leave again. I needed the reminder of that pain. I had to remember why I had never tried to come back and beg to be let back in. That heartache would help me survive this trip down memory lane, compliments of Silas Granger, asshole.
No matter how many times I told myself I wouldn’t do it, I found my feet leading me right downtown and past the salon next door to the old barber shop. I knew she wouldn’t be there, but I had seen her there with
my own eyes. She was still just as beautiful as ever.
I couldn’t remember the first time I laid eyes on Olivia. She’d always been there. When she was little, she was a bit of a spoiled brat, but I had contributed to that as much, maybe even more than anyone. She and Tori always followed me and Killian around. When you’re eight you don’t want your little four-year-old sister tagging along with you. It wasn’t supposed to be cool.
I loved having Olivia as my shadow and tried to make it cool.
She followed me everywhere. She always had. I don’t think there was ever a defining moment when I knew I loved her. I just always had. I did remember the first time I noticed her though. She had blossomed into her curves at a young age. The summer I turned sixteen she suddenly sprouted boobs. Trust me, I noticed. She had only been twelve at the time and I didn’t say or do anything inappropriate, but I noticed, and I stopped looking at her like a little sister.
Kano always told me and Killian it was our job to look after Olivia. We both took that responsibility very seriously, but when she came to me asking for a kiss on her sixteenth birthday, I couldn’t say no. I knew it was wrong. I understood that her brothers would be pissed if they ever found out, but I couldn’t deny her or myself that moment.
She was too young, and I should have waited, not that she’d have let me.
After that, it became easier to justify my feelings for her especially when I knew they weren’t one sided. I was still too old for her. I should have put the brakes on things before it went too far, but I was young and blindly in love. I honestly thought that our love would conquer everything, that her family would be happy for us once they knew.
They hadn’t been happy at all and I’d lost everything.
I stopped in front of the salon and noticed the name of the place. Olive’s. Her father had always called her that. Olivia didn’t just work here. I realized now she probably owned the place. She was doing alright for herself then. That made me happy. I wanted her to have a great life, one I couldn’t give her.
Still the thought of her with someone else was too much to consider. It made me angry just thinking about it.
I heard footsteps approaching behind me. My entire body went on full alert as I whipped around ready for a fight. Years of training had done that to me.
“Woah. Hold up there Rocky,” Felix said.
“Felix? Sorry man. I’m just a bit on edge. Wasn’t expecting to see anyone out this late.”
“Couldn’t sleep. You?”
“Same.”
“I see you found Olivia’s place.”
“So she does own it?”
He nodded.
“I saw her working here today. I suspected by the name.”
“It certainly hasn’t been easy on her, but she’s done well for herself.”
“I’m glad,” I said sadly. “So, what’s got you up running this late.”
“You.”
Felix always was an honest guy. I had never been as close to him as I was Killian, but we had been friends, good friends, at least I thought so. After the blow up I was prone to questioning all of my relationships.
“I’m not here to cause any trouble. Trust me, I didn’t want to come at all.”
“I’ve heard plenty of rumors today, but why are you really here?”
“We believe Pike has been kidnapped by a group of humans that we consider our enemy. They’re called the Raglan. We didn’t know Pike was missing, but we do have proof that the Raglan have been watching the Clan closely.”
“You really think Uncle Pike is alive?”
“I do, and my team’s going to do everything we can to get him back safely.”
“Even after everything he did to you, you’re still going to help him?”
“It’s not personal, Felix. It’s the right thing to do. I’d do it for any shifter. It shouldn’t matter who he is.”
“But it matters to you.”
“I’d be lying if I said no. I’ve gotten very good at staying emotionally disconnected. I’ll get through this and we’ll get him back to you guys.”
“After that?”
“I’ll go home, and it’ll be like I was never here.”
“You’re like a ghost, Baine. You’re not here, but you are.”
I nodded. It made me sad to hear it.
“I lied, you know. You aren’t really the reason I can’t sleep, only a catalyst for it. Olivia didn’t know. No one ever told her.”
“Told her what?”
“That you were excommunicated from the Clan.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. “Bloody hell. What does she think happened, Felix?” This was a scenario I’d never even considered.
He shrugged. “She just knows you left without saying goodbye. She changed a lot after that. She’s never really been the same. She was questioning why Killian wasn’t happier about your return and things started spilling out. She still doesn’t know why, just that you were banished.”
“And you? Do you know why?”
He nodded. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. They were wrong to do that to you. Both of you.”
It would take me some time to process everything he’d just confessed.
“Want some company for the rest of your run?” I asked.
He smiled and looked like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. “I’d love that.”
We ran without talking for a while and then curiosity got the best of him. He started asking questions and I was happy to answer them. He also shared some funny stories he had, but only stuff that was personal to him. He seemed to purposefully be avoiding anything involving Killian or Olivia. I couldn’t really blame him for that.
“So, Killian’s a dad, huh? Who would have ever thought that? It’s crazy. Cute kid though.”
He stopped and his eyes went wide. “You met Macie?”
“Is that her name?”
“Macie isn’t Killian’s daughter, Baine. She’s Olivia’s.”
My chest constricted and I thought I was going to be sick, but I gave a tight smile and nodded. It took me a few seconds to find my voice. “Oh. I didn’t know. I guess I just assumed.” And hoped.
I didn’t realize until that moment how badly I had hoped Olivia had waited for me too. It was absurd. She was gorgeous inside and out. She had such a big heart, of course she’d find love again. That was good. I wanted her to be happy. That much was true. I couldn’t let myself wish for things I couldn’t have. Knowing this changed everything.
Before Felix ran into me, I had almost convinced myself that I needed to talk to Olivia, clear the air, and as ridiculous as it sounded now, maybe even confess the fact I was still in love with her.
It was too late for all of that now. I’d stayed away too long. Judging by the kid, she’d moved on pretty soon after I left. The kid had to be five or six years old. She might as well have just stabbed a knife through my chest. It would have hurt less than this new reality.
I faked a couple of yawns and soon admitted I was beat and said goodbye. It was nice catching up with Felix, it really was, but I wished I’d never come here. Living with even the slimmest hope was better than this sinking feeling.
Darkness was threatening to overtake me, and it had nothing to do with sleep.
Olivia
Chapter 6
I’d gone to bed pissed. I’d woken up pissed after a very restless night of tossing and turning.
All they’d told me was that Baine had been excommunicated. None of them would tell me why. Not one. The worst part of it was that they had known this for years. I was especially angry at Tori. I hadn’t confided everything to her, but she knew enough to know that I was devastated when Baine left. Literally the only thing that kept me waking up each morning and getting out of bed was the knowledge that his child was growing inside of me.
Why wouldn’t they have just told me?
Killian couldn’t even look me in the eyes. There was more to the story, I just knew it. Why were they keeping it from me?
By morning I knew I wasn’t going to be able to just pretend everything was okay. I needed answers and I needed them now. If my family wouldn’t tell me then I was going to take it to the source.
As soon as Macie got on the school bus, I walked over to the Inn. The one good thing about the gossips was that I knew exactly where to find Baine Landry.
Betty usually worked at the front desk, but she was nowhere to be found.
A girl I didn’t recognize came down the stairs laughing with a handsome man. I didn’t know him either. There was no other local news of outsiders being in town, so I knew they had to be some of the people that Baine had arrived with.
“Hi. Do you know what room Baine’s in?” I asked the girl.
She looked towards the man with her and he just shrugged.
“Baine Landry. I know he’s here with you. This is a small town. Outsiders stick out like a sore thumb.”
“Landry? Is that his name?” the guy asked with a smirk on his face. The girl slapped him in the gut. “What? I honestly thought Baine was his last name. What kind of name is Baine anyway?”
“I love you, but you’re an idiot sometimes, Grant.”
He shrugged and looked back to me. “My mate,” he explained. “She’s sort of stuck with me.”
“Till death do us part, babe. You do know what I do for a living, right?” she asked sweetly.
Another guy jogged down the stairs. He was shorter than the first one and had dark hair that hinted of red. His hair was cut short and he wore a neatly trimmed beard.
“Stop threatening him, T. Hi, I’m Tarron,” he introduced himself.
“Olivia,” I said.
“Baine’s Olivia?”
“Baine has an Olivia?” Grant asked.
T hit him again.
“I’m not getting into that. I don’t even know all the details, so ignore me.” Tarron started to walk away from me.
“Hold it. What room is he in?”
Tarron sighed. “Please don’t. Your Alpha is missing. We need his head in the game if we’re going to find him. He’s distracted enough just being back here. You have no idea how hard this is on him.”
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