by Halie Fewkes
“I don’t know!” she replied, rounding a corner and disappearing from sight.
With wide eyes, I looked to West and asked, “Is she always like this?”
Looking equally startled, West replied, “We usually joke about how fast her mood changes, but I’ve never seen her so upset. I can go talk to her.”
“No. Thanks, but I need to,” I said, taking off after Liz. I glanced back to see West setting his hands restlessly in his pockets. He seemed uncomfortable leaving us to settle our own differences, but I was glad he didn’t attempt to tag along.
“Where are you going?” I asked as I caught up and matched Liz’s pace. The tunnel comfortably accommodated the two of us side by side.
“To your room,” she replied, avoiding eye contact as she strode. “Somebody has to show you where it is.”
The flat tone of her voice gave me no inclination to thank her. “And then what? Are you going to leave and refuse to talk to me until I’m normal again? Because I don’t know when that will happen.”
Liz finally took her eyes off her feet to meet my gaze. “But you do think it will happen?”
Now it was my turn to fixate on each rock along the path beneath me. “I think it will,” I said as we began to pass wooden doors embedded in the cave walls. “I know that some of my past is still in here, at least. I can remember things when my life depends on remembering them.”
The tunnel cut to the right, and Liz grabbed my arm to steer me into the narrower branch of the cave. “That’s the only time you remember anything?” she asked.
“So far, yes. Maybe something else will be able to trigger it though. Maybe something we aren’t expecting. I don’t know.”
“Sparring,” she said with sudden certainty. “You fight like you were born with a stick in your hand, and I swear it pains you to put it down. We have lessons every morning. Come tomorrow.”
“I’ll be there if you think it will help. Is that my power then? The ability to fight?”
“No,” she replied. “We haven’t found our gifts yet. West and I have been betting lately about which power you’ll get, because you’re good at everything, but we don’t know.”
I could inherently remember which gifts were most common. Fire, ice, water, speed, light, and jumping into the air to disappear and reappear in entirely new places. Other mages could make illusions, read people’s minds, shield themselves, turn invisible… The possibilities were endless.
“Maybe I’ll get more than one power,” I said, knowing it wasn’t possible, but wanting to argue it anyway. “I mean, if Sir Avery can have all of them, what’s to stop me from having two?”
Liz took a deep breath, like explaining to a child that they couldn’t fly. “It doesn’t work like that. Epics are the only ones with more than one power. That’s why Sir Avery’s always so busy. He’s either defending cities from the Escalis, infiltrating enemy territory, saving lives, or stopping Prince Avalask.”
“And who’s that? Another Epic?”
“The only other Epic. There are two bloodlines that carry the Epic genes, and only the firstborn son in each family inherits the power. So in every new generation we get a new Epic from Sir Avery’s bloodline to defend us, and the second Epic comes from the Escali royal family. They call him Prince Avalask, and he’s the worst form of evil that’s ever set foot in the world, a murderer you can’t lift a finger against. We would all be worse than dead if Sir Avery wasn’t here to defend us from him.”
That was a chilling thought, an Escali that was already wickedly fast, strong, and aggressive, with the added advantage of every power in existence. “Do either of them have kids yet?”
Liz nodded quickly, and I finally saw excitement chase the gloom from her face. “Sir Avery does. He’s kept him hidden since birth to let him grow up and train, but I keep hearing they’re going to introduce him at the Eclipsival. The unveiling of our new Epic is tomorrow, Allie! When people look back, they’ll remember our generation by his name.”
“How do you know it won’t be a girl?” I asked as Liz stopped walking, setting her hand on the smooth dark wood of a door.
She scoffed as though my question squashed her excitement. “They’ve always been the first born sons. That’s just the way it is. And this is your room,” she added, pushing the door open.
I liked the scent of pine and the simplicity of the layout, but hated the unfamiliarity of it. A white pine bed ran along the right wall with three books stacked on a wooden chest at the foot. A small fireplace had been carved into the wall with a slatted pine bench and wardrobe on either side, and a belt of two swords hung from the wardrobe. I stepped inside as Liz remained in the doorway.
“I’ll be back in the morning to get you for sparring,” she said. She was about to leave, and I only had a broken second to decide if I wanted her to stay.
“Wait,” I said, not ready to be alone just yet. “I thought Humans were the only ones who had magic. How can an Escali be an Epic then?”
Liz gave me a half-smile. She knew I didn’t want her to go. “We’re the only ones who can become mages, but the Escalis… They’re made of magic. Kind of… I don’t know much about it, but I know that’s why they’re so vicious, and it’s why their skin can’t be cut. They’re like Humans gone bad.”
“But if they’re as strong as everyone says, what’s stopped them from destroying us? I mean… mages are rare.” I couldn’t remember exact numbers, but I knew rare was an understatement. “It doesn’t seem like there would be enough mages to keep us all safe.”
“Not on our continent, maybe, but we also get all the kids from Tekada who have the potential for magic. You and I are from Tekada. Can you remember living there?”
I matched her half smile and said, “No.”
“Oh. Well, I guess if you can’t remember my name, you wouldn’t be able to remember King Kelian. He rules over our home continent, Tekada, but all he really does there is banish people. If anybody shows signs of magic or commits a displeasing crime, he sends them here, which is supposed to be more humane than a death sentence. What a joke.”
“You mean we were banished?” I raised my eyebrows, amused. “Was it because we could use magic, or were we criminals?”
Liz breathed a short laugh. “You used to joke that they sent us here because you started a Tekadan uprising. I guess I wouldn’t be surprised if you had.”
I liked the thought that I had once been able to lead and inspire, and hoped it was more than a joke. Liz yawned and added, “I should probably go. Maybe you can try to remember something while you’re sleeping. I really do want my sister back.”
Implying what? That my current state made us suddenly not sisters? Liz noticed me recoil from the comment and added, “I don’t mean it in a cruel way, Allie. You were just so brave and you always knew what to say. I need you.”
“Yep,” I replied, concentrating on my breathing, “and I’ll let you know in the morning if I remember anything. Goodnight.”
I could see that Liz regretted her choice of words, but she made no move to stop me from closing the door. I leaned back against it and waited until I heard her amble away.
Of course the old Allie had been brave. She wouldn’t have hid under a table, knowing that a little girl had just been carried off. She was the one everybody wanted to come home.
I was just Allie’s worthless shadow now, holding on to her body until she could find her way back to it. But I hadn’t chosen for this to happen! I wanted to be back to my normal, accepted self.
Growling in frustration, I slammed my fists onto the door behind me. I crossed my arms tightly across my chest and heaved a few deep breaths before stepping forward to grab the belt of swords from the wardrobe. I hurled them onto the ground in a clatter and kicked my heel into the wooden bench, only stopping because the first two slats splintered apart beneath my foot.
The crunch of the breaking wood was accompanied by tinkling of metal on the rock floor, and I dropped to my hands and knees to see a
ringed key with two teeth at the end. It had been hidden on the lip of wood under the bench.
I picked it up and flipped it over a few times, hoping to find some sort of engraving. None existed. Obviously it used to be mine, but I didn’t see any locks around me.
In an attempt to make sense of just one facet in my confusing life, I upended my entire room. I still couldn’t find any fits for my key. Anywhere. The chest only had a simple latch with clothing inside. I even flipped my bed over and shoved my wardrobe out of place. I checked every dent in the floor for secrets, and found none.
I stomped on the ground, not wanting to break anything else in my frustration, then lay on my bed to fume. I wasn’t about to fall asleep with so many questions struggling for my attention, and I covered my face with both hands to exhale an angry sigh.
How was I expected to take this all in at once? My mind needed to be fixed, both because of the lack of memories and the newly found chaos of information. Mages defended our cities with one power each. Epics were the heroes born with all the powers. An uncaring king had exiled us to this continent where vicious predators threatened our very survival. And I only knew a few things about where I fit among the chaos.
One. My name was Allie. My memory was gone, but I was finally at home where I had friends to help me to recover it, assuming Liz would ever look at me again without disappointment.
Two. The Escalis. I was safe from them now, but no closer to knowing what they wanted from me. I hadn’t heard them wrong. They wanted me in particular, and I needed to know why. Why had I left the Dragona without telling anyone? What had I done to anger them?
Three. My knee was definitely feeling better. I removed one hand from my face to rap my knuckles against it, but it only twanged with a slight ache. I wished my memory could have healed as quickly as my dumb knee.
Hours seeped through the cave floors unnoticed as I lay on my bed, trying to pull memories from an empty brain, denying that I might possibly fail. As sleep finally began to tug at my eyelids, I rolled over and slid heavy hands beneath my pillow to grasp it tightly, like it was hope itself. My hands crinkled a piece of parchment inside the pillow, and I reached into the case to grab what seemed to be an old list of tally marks. In my former life, I had titled it Deaths That Were My Fault¸ and scribbled fourteen hashes beneath the words. Fourteen lives had been destroyed because of me.
What?
Had I actually, physically, killed them? Would I ever even know?
I frowned and blinked my sleepy eyes to make sure I was seeing clearly. Fourteen lives. I had the feeling that Liz, West, and Anna didn’t know this. Wouldn’t they have mentioned it?
I flipped the page over on a whim, only to find that the top read Lives I’ve Saved, and hundreds of tally marks covered the entire second side. I flung the paper like it was dangerous and scooted to a sitting position as it fluttered to the floor, hash marks glaring up from the ground where I couldn’t avoid them.
What had I been doing?
Something incredibly important, judging by the amount of ink slashed across this side of the page. Something secret, judging by the way I had tucked it out of sight. Something that I needed to figure out very quickly.
If danger was the only thing that could bring back my memories, then I was going to seek it. This list was the key to my identity, and to everything that mattered.
I picked the list back up, feeling like the hash marks might jump off the page and strangle me if I didn’t reveal their meaning. It would be better to die, trying to recover this important life I used to lead, than to live as an echo of my former self.
With that resolve in mind, I began to count how many tally marks had been scrawled over an undetermined number of years. I fell asleep somewhere between three and four hundred with the parchment still clutched in my hand.
Chapter Five
I bolted upright in my bed, startled by an abrasive trumpet call echoing down the corridors. It wailed its morning greeting for no more than three seconds before my door burst open, kicked in by someone with far too much enthusiasm.
“Good morning!” Liz bellowed.
I flopped back down beneath my covers to keep the cold out and moaned, “What is wrong with you? I thought you were supposed to be upset.” My list sat safely beneath my pillow.
“Well, it’s a new day, and it’s time to get your memory back.”
“You’re always like this, aren’t you?” I peered at her with my covers pulled to my chin. “A new mood every five minutes?”
“Yes, and it keeps my life interesting,” she replied. “You also tell me that I’m easily distracted and talk too fast.”
“I’ve only known you for a few hours and I already know that’s true.”
“Well sorry if I’m not good enough for you.” She left in a dramatic huff and closed the door behind her, which at least muffled a bit of the wakeup call.
I knew she wouldn’t be far. I would kill her if she left. None of my memories had returned during the night, and I couldn’t just get myself to the sparring field.
I ripped my covers off in one inconsiderate swipe, then slunk to my wardrobe. One freezing jerkin and two pant-legs later, I threw my hair into a long ponytail. Holy life, it was cold! Could the sun really be up already?
I stood again and picked up the belt of swords I had flung. Each pommel had a simple sun engraved in the metal, but my throw had dented the carved light rays on one. Sorry to see the damage, I put the belt on, and lastly I tied my mysterious key around my neck, tucking it away as Liz invited herself back into my room.
“Shut the door,” I chattered, “you’re letting all the heat out.”
“What heat?” Liz asked, leaning against the rock wall. “You didn’t light a fire last night.”
“Didn’t think about it,” I shivered. Stupid me, I should have taken notice of the fireplace.
“Well, put a coat on.” She walked to my wardrobe, flung it open, and threw one to me. Even though it was freezing too, I felt warmer as soon as I pulled it on. “Remember anything new last night?” Liz asked.
“I don’t think so.”
“Well, sparring practice should fix everything. Now come on, the sun’s almost up. Do you want it to beat you to practice?”
“No, we wouldn’t want that,” I replied grumpily. “Why aren’t you wearing a coat?”
“Because I feel fine. It’s not that cold. Now let’s go.” We left my room, and to my dismay it got progressively colder as we neared the end of the tunnels. Finally we were outside, where we barely had enough light to see the frosty glitter on the grass. My breath lingered in the frigid air and my nose felt numb already.
Liz maintained an absurd smile as though the temperature had no effect on her. We made our way down a hill to a flat field ringed by trees, where a shivering group had gathered around two supply shed doors that opened from the ground. The people toward the back of the crowd noticed me and immediately decided I needed to be swarmed.
“Allie! We heard what happened! How are you feeling?” a short boy asked.
“I’m fine. I feel alright,” I replied.
“What happened to you?” another girl asked.
“I don’t know. I was—”
“How much can you remember?”
“Can you recognize me at all?”
“Hey, Allie, we used to work with the combat dragons together. Do you remember me?”
“Where were you?”
“Do you know how it happened?”
I couldn’t even attempt to answer one question before they’d asked three more. People at the back of the group, who didn’t have a clear view of me, filed around the sides and then crowded in behind me to hear, so I was soon enclosed by an inquisitive horde. An instinctual voice in my head said, get out of here, too many people, but I also knew shoving them away from me wasn’t my best option.
“Alright, alright,” I said, holding my hands up, which actually quieted everybody for a strange moment. “This giant mob thing
is not getting us anywhere.” I gestured to the pack around me, and after a second, they loosened to give me a little breathing room. “Now, I am heading this way. Please do not stand in my path.”
I cut straight through them toward an underground supply shed, and nobody closed back in around me. Taking a moment to observe all my own body language, I noticed myself walking with what had to look like confidence. My voice was also something I liked — loud when I needed it to be, and a little on the aggressive side.
A hearty bald man with dark eyes and an untrimmed beard stood on the steps into the supply shed. Behind him I could see the interior lined with wooden weapons while piles of junk and broken equipment littered the floor next to brimming bins.
“Allie, this is Sir Bruscan,” Liz said as she caught up.
“And I already know who you are,” he said, climbing out of the stash to shake my hand. “I heard what happened, but I just didn’t believe it till now. You were always my best fighter, Allie. Let’s hope you’ve still got it in you.”
“I’m feeling confident I do,” I replied for the sake of the crowd watching us, although confident may have been an overstatement. He grinned and then turned to the rest of the group.
“Good morning everybody! As you’ve probably noticed, the temperature this morning is as cold as Izfazara’s heart, so let’s not waste time. The sooner we get moving, the warmer we’re going to be. Who wants to make the first challenge?” Sir Bruscan asked as a ring of light appeared on the ground before us. A light-mage for sure.
A few people chatted about who they’d like to challenge, but since nobody was speaking up and I was ready to get warm, I said, “I’d like to challenge Liz.”
“Battle of the sisters?” Sir Bruscan said with a smirk. “It’s fine by me, although we all know who will win. Go ahead and pick your swords.”
Liz climbed into the ground-shed and I followed her to look through the racks of wooden weapons on every wall.
“West… If I use these shorter swords, I can use one in each hand, right?” I asked, feeling pulled toward two pseudo-blades that were barely as long as my forearms.