by L. A. Casey
I felt like a hypocrite for telling him to relax when I worried about the same thing. Only not me being taken from him, but him being taken from me.
“I can’t help fearing that.” He sighed. “Jesus, Lana, I can’t imagine my life without you. I’d be broken … good for absolutely nothing if I lost you.”
I moved, cocked my leg over his body, and straddled him, placing my hands on either side of his face.
“I’m ‘ere with you, Dame,” I said, leaning in and resting my forehead against his. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, sweetheart.”
Damien closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. I looked into his eyes when he opened them, and I smiled. His breath caught a little.
“You’re beautiful.”
I ducked my head, making him chuckle.
“Alannah?”
“Hmm?”
“Will you marry me?”
I leaned back and looked down at him as I said, “No.”
Damien looked away from me; a deep hurt that he couldn’t hide played out on his face like the two other times he asked me to marry him in the past six months. And just like those two other times, saying no left a bitter taste in my mouth.
“Damien,” I said, brushing my nose against his cheek. “You know how I feel about things movin’ too fast with us. I don’t want to jinx what we have.”
“Is what we have solid?” he asked, and when I nodded, he said, “Then why won’t you say yes when I ask you to marry me?”
“Because we’re together six months,” I stressed. “When we do things too fast, bad things happen, and I don’t want to ruin our relationship.”
“I want to marry you,” Damien pressed. “That’s not going to change. You said you wanted to marry me and have loads of babies. I want that now.”
I knew he wanted that. Especially now that Kane and Aideen had recently tied the knot in the city’s registry office and became husband and wife, quickly followed by Alec and Keela a week later who didn’t want a traditional church wedding. Ever since both couples got married, Damien had been adamant about us moving to the next stage of our relationship. He saw three of his brothers blissfully married with gorgeous kids, and his twin happily engaged with a beautiful child and expecting one more, and he wanted that badly.
“I do want to marry ye’ and have babies, but not right—”
“I’m going to be late for work.” He cut me off, the muscles in his jaw rolling back and forth. “I’d better get going.”
I didn’t move.
“Ye’ can’t just leave when we’re talkin’ about this, Damien,” I argued. “Nothin’ good comes from lettin’ a conversation like this lie. Ye’ know that.”
“We’ve said what needs to be said,” he countered. “I want to marry you, and you don’t want to marry me. I get it. Now, get off me because I have to go to work.”
Like the flip of a switch, my mood turned sour.
“You’re an arsehole,” I grouched as I scrambled off him and stormed out of the room, heading towards the bedroom. “Ye’ can’t resist startin’ a fight when ye’ don’t get what ye’ want.”
“I’m not bitching about not getting my way, Alannah,” Damien shouted from behind me. “I’m pissed off because you won’t take the next step with me.”
“Because I’m not ready yet!” I bellowed, turning in the bedroom doorway in time to see Damien reach for the handle of the front door. “Why can’t ye’ just wait a while?”
“Because I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“And you need to put a weddin’ band on me finger right this second to assure yourself that’s gonna happen?” I shook my head. “I will marry ye’. I’m goin’ to marry ye’, but when I’m ready, Damien.”
“Yeah,” he snapped back. “I got that, loud and fucking clear. Everything will be on your time. Your way or the highway, right?”
“Fuck you!”
“Later.” His lip curled upward into a sneer. “I have work to get to, but I’ll keep thinking of your sweet pussy to make my day go by faster.”
I loathed when he was like this. He could rival Nico Slater, his twin brother, with how much of an arsehole he could become when he was upset about something. With a fierce scowl sent in his direction, I slammed the bedroom door shut. A second later, the apartment front door rapped against the wood of the door panel, causing a loud bang to echo.
“Arsehole!” I bellowed, loud enough for Damien to hear me in the hallway. “If ye’ break that door, you’re fuckin’ payin’ for it!”
I could have sworn I heard his humourless laughter.
“Bloody man,” I scowled and angrily folded my arms across my chest as I tapped my foot against the floor. “He makes me so mad, Barbara!”
Barbara, my eleven-month-old cat, jumped up onto my bed and rubbed her head against my hip. I turned my attention to her and relaxed as I petted her. I climbed up onto my bed and flopped onto my back. When she crawled up onto my stomach, I chuckled as she sat down and claimed my belly as her throne. I found her when she was roughly ten weeks old, and the few weeks that followed my finding her were the best and worst weeks of my life. From entering my relationship with Damien to learning my mother had breast cancer … as well as secrets about my best friends that shook my entire world to its core. Not to mention Morgan Allen’s entry into my life, the bearer of those haunting secrets I had learned about the Slater brothers.
“Stupid girl,” I scowled to myself.
Thinking of how trusting I was with someone who could have been potentially dangerous towards me left me nothing but irritated. I was a smart woman, but I had made some shitty decisions in my past. Morgan was one of them, which was worth an eye roll because I had once thought he was a blessing who came to me just when I needed him.
I knew his name was Carter Miles, but in my head, he was Morgan Allen.
For weeks, I worked in my home office with him, organising and running my business. While building what I thought was a friendship with him, I was shocked to find out his goal, and overall purpose in my life, was to turn me against the Slater brothers. He succeeded for a couple of weeks, but when I did the smart thing and heard Damien and everyone else out, I learned why they had to commit such acts of horror.
They were left with no choice.
I grabbed my phone from my nightstand when it rang and answered it without looking at who was calling.
“Hello?”
“I want to die.”
I grinned. “What’s the matter?”
“This baby needs to be born right now,” Bronagh stated. “I can’t handle bein’ pregnant for much longer. I feel like a balloon that’s about to pop.”
“Imagine how Keela feels. ‘Er due date is today, and there is no sign of ‘er havin’ the baby.”
“I know,” Bronagh groaned. “But she can go at any time. I still have a week and a bit left.”
“Have sex,” I encouraged. “Wild, rough sex. That should get things movin’.”
“We can’t ‘cause it hurts me too much when Dominic gets into a rhythm,” Bronagh explained. “We haven’t had sex in over three weeks, and he’s gonna have to suffer until six weeks after I have the baby … He’ll probably leave me for some woman with a perfectly functionin’ fanny.”
When I laughed, it irritated Barbara. She jumped off the bed and walked over to the window where she jumped up on the windowsill without a backward glance.
“It’s not funny!”
I continued to laugh.
“I’m sorry,” I stressed. “I’m takin’ this seriously, I swear.”
“Great, ‘ere come the waterworks.” Bronagh sniffled. “I’m sick of cryin’ over nothin’.”
“I know, babe, but ye’ will have the baby soon, and then ye’ll be cryin’ for a different reason. Like gettin’ no sleep.”
Bronagh snickered a little. “What’re ye’ doin’?”
“Lyin’ in bed … thinkin’ of how to murder Damien and get away with it.”
&nbs
p; Silence.
“What’d he do?”
“He asked me to marry ‘im, again, and when I said no, he became alpha arsehole.”
“Did you explain why—”
“Of course,” I cut Bronagh off. “I told ‘im that I’m not ready yet. I love ‘im to death, Bronagh, and I will marry ‘im, but is it so terrible that I want things to just progress a little slower?”
“No, it’s not terrible. What’s terrible is Damien throwin’ a wobbler ‘cause he isn’t gettin’ his way.”
“That exactly what I said to ‘im!”
“How’d he take it?”
“He had an attitude, then left for work.” I huffed. “He’s put me in a foul mood.”
“He’ll come home grovellin’ for your forgiveness.” Bronagh snorted. “That man is so in love with ye’ he can’t stand when you’re mad at ‘im.”
“I wish he wasn’t as grouchy.”
“Babe, you’ve got the calm twin. Imagine how I feel.”
“Please.” I snorted. “It’s Nico I feel sorry for when ye’ both argue. You’re a nightmare.”
“Hey,” Bronagh jokingly quipped. “I’m a lot more mellow than I used to be.”
“Since you had Georgie,” I agreed. “But ye’ can also be a total mama bear, so I’m not sure if mellow is the right word.”
“Bitch.”
I chuckled. “Do ye’ want to go to the village for somethin’ to eat? I’d murder a breakfast roll.”
“Oh, hell yeah. I want two of them.”
Commenting on how bad two full-size breakfast rolls would be on her body would most likely result in my death, so I kept my mouth shut.
“I’ll swing by and get ye’ in ten minutes.”
“Deal. Me and Georgie will be ready. Beep when you’re outside.”
After I hung up with Bronagh, I got changed into a knee-length sky blue dress with black sandals and tied my hair up into a high ponytail. It was early June, and things were hotter than usual for this time of the year … or for Ireland, in general. It was only ten a.m., and it was twenty-six degrees outside with no clouds in sight. It was roasting, and summer had only just started. It was like all my Christmases came at once. After I made sure that Barbara had food, water, and free run of my apartment, I left with my side bag and keys in hand. When I exited the elevator in the lobby, I groaned out loud when I saw two men walking towards me.
“Well, well, well … aren’t you lookin’ good enough to eat.”
I raised a brow at Dante Collins and rolled my eyes.
“Damien will lynch ye’ if he hears ye’ sayin’ stuff like that to me.”
“He can try.”
Dante’s grin told me that he was only teasing, but I still had to warn him to knock it off. The last thing I needed was for Damien and him to fight again. The last time resulted in bruises and sore egos, and I did not want to deal with either. Assuring Damien that my four-month fling with Dante was nothing for him to worry about took time, and Dante knew that, which was why he got a kick out of tormenting me. As I stared at Dante, I thought back to when I had a discussion with him on the phone a few months ago about how that day panned out.
“I want to apologise.”
“For what?”
“For how I spoke about you in the garage back when you and Damien got together a few weeks ago... and I’m also sorry for smackin’ your arse.”
I grunted as I adjusted my phone against my ears. “Continue.”
“I’m sick with meself for talkin’ about ye’ like ye’ were an object and treatin’ ye’ the way I did, and in front of the lads, too.”
“Why are ye’ bringin’ this up now?” I asked. “It’s been ages since that happened.”
“I know, but I never apologised for it.”
“I won’t lie. It did hurt me feelin’s.”
“I know … I just … me own feelin’s were hurt.”
I blinked. “Yours?”
“Yeah,” Dante continued. “I guess I was a little … jealous.”
“Jealous?”
“Of Damien.”
“Why?” I asked, shocked. “Why would you be jealous of ‘im?”
“Because he had you.”
My heart stopped. “Date.”
“Don’t freak out. I’m not in love with ye’ … I just could have been, ye’ know? I really liked ye’.”
This was entirely new information.
I sat down. “I never intended to lead ye’ on. I swear.”
“Babe, I know that. Ye’ were upfront with me. I just caught a few feelin’s, and that’s not your fault. Don’t worry, though, we’re square now. You’re happy, and I’m happy for ye’.”
“We have to get ye’ a girlfriend, so ye’ can be just as happy as me.”
“Leave me be, woman.” Dante laughed. “I have many women to tumble with under me bed sheets before I settle down. Not every woman can tame me like you can.”
“Ye’d be surprised.” I snorted. “It’s the quiet ones ye’ have to watch out for.”
I came back to the present and grinned at Dante.
“When ye’ get a girlfriend, I’m gonna tell ‘er all the things ye’ did to me just to piss ye’ off when ye’ have to calm ‘er down when she gets jealous.”
“Piss me off or turn me on?”
I swiped at him, but he jumped out of my reach, chuckling.
“I’m only jokin’, me and Damien are square … he knows we’re only mates.”
Damien hated that I was friends with Dante, and I understood why, so to avoid awkward run-ins, I rarely came by Damien’s job at the garage. I doubted Damien would ever fully relax around Dante until he had a girlfriend himself. Meetings like this couldn’t be avoided now that Dante lived in the same building as me and Damien. Along with Harley, JJ, Gavin, and his pregnant non-girlfriend, Kalin. Kane, being the landlord, hooked up Aideen’s brothers and was the reason they were my new neighbours.
“Did ye’ put sunscreen on?” Harley asked me, reminding me of his presence. “It’s hot as a motherfucker out there.”
“I put some on, and I’ve a bottle in me bag for top ups. Thanks, Da.”
Dante snickered, and Harley grinned.
“Smartarse.”
My lips twitched. “Why’re ye’ both ‘ere? Shouldn’t ye’ be in work?”
“We popped out for a minute,” Dante answered.
“And you came home instead of enjoyin’ that fine weather outside?”
“We’re checkin’ on Gavin,” Harley explained. “He called in sick to work, but Ryder could have sworn he heard a woman moan in pleasure in the background. Date thinks he was watchin’ porn, but I think little brother is mattress dancin’ with Kalin, and since we have to pick up his slack for not bein’ at work for the early shift, I wanna know how sick he is. I’m gonna deck ‘im if he’s anythin’ less than half dead with the flu.”
Gavin was in a bit of a pickle, to say the least.
I didn’t know the entire story, not yet anyway, but Gavin had gotten a woman pregnant, a woman who he had been having sex with on and off for months. Her name was Kalin Harris, and after some sort of family issues, she had nowhere to stay. Super landlord Kane came to the rescue and situated her in an apartment of her own … directly across the hall from Gavin’s apartment. She was currently seven and half months pregnant with the next Collins baby. I found out about her existence and her pregnancy when she was only six weeks into it. A lot had changed since then, and apparently so had her relationship with Gavin, if moans of pleasure were put on the table.
Gavin had sworn to me that things were platonic between he and Kalin, and that they were going to co-parent and raise their son together as best as they could. Aideen had taken Kalin under her wing since we all found out about her. We had all attended a gender reveal party, a baby shower, and many girls’ nights in to get to know one another. Kalin was kind of a part of our group at this point … but I couldn’t stand her. I backed her and Gavin one hundred percent in raising their s
on, but Kalin rubbed me the wrong way. She gave me, and only me, dirty looks whenever I was in her presence, and God forbid if I hugged Gavin or smiled at him when she was in viewing distance.
She didn’t like me, and that pissed me off because I had been nothing but nice to her and tried to make her feel welcome from the second I had met her. It didn’t help that I threw water in her face at her gender reveal party two weeks ago when she asked me to leave because I was the first person to hug Gavin when the blue balloons came out of the reveal box. I didn’t mean to hug him first, or steal her thunder, but I was right next to him, and he looked at me first when it was revealed he was going to have a son. We’re best friends, and we hugged because that was what we did … but Kalin hated it.
I hadn’t spoken to her or Gavin in the two weeks since. Of course, he sided with Kalin and so did nearly everyone else because, at the end of the day, all they saw was me throwing a water in a heavily pregnant woman’s face and ruining her gender reveal party. It was a shitty situation, one that I still couldn’t believe had taken place, but it was what it was, and I just had to roll with the punches and deal with the aftermath.
“If Kalin has Gavin in ‘er apartment, she won’t give ‘im back. She has claws, big claws.”
“She’s shorter than you, and a might nicer, which is sayin’ somethin’ because you’re just about the sweetest woman I know.”
I rolled my eyes at Dante’s description.
“She is a bitch who just happens to be short, Date. That’s it.”
“Who threw water in whose face at the gender reveal party of my nephew?”
I scowled at Dante. “I’m not proud of that.”
“I still can’t believe ye’ did it.” He snickered. “I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.”
I could remember his laughing and his da advancing on him with a glare to silence him.
“It was a shitty situation, that’s all.”
Harley sighed. “The pair of ye’ need to work things out, Lana.”
I once hated that nickname because it reminded me of Damien, who was the one to give it to me, but everyone called me it now. Freckles was the only nickname that was reserved for Damien alone.