To Come First

by J C Rae

  Uncle takes a deep breath and is looking at everyone in the room. When his serious eyes land back on me, his smile is slightly strained.

  "I would like to do the pack introduction tonight since we have not been able to with all the shit that's happened. It will help that your scent is no longer blocked. No one in this room will repeat what you can do to anyone. If you ever need anything and I am unavailable, please search out either your mates or one of the enforcers in this room. Between all of us, we should be able to help."

  Not really knowing what to say, I just nod my head and look around the room. Everyone else is nodding along with me and it is hard for me to accept the fact that there are others that will help me. Trying not to get emotional in front of everyone, I take a couple deep breaths and then look at my mates. All four of them.

  "We will have to talk about all of this before this introduction. I want you all to think about this and let me know if you want out. I will not force this on anyone and before you make a decision, I need to explain a few things to you guys." Looking up at Uncle, I continue, "What time do we need to be ready?"

  "We will have the pack meeting at nine tonight so please be ready by eight and meet me back here. You are free to roam until that time but I wouldn't stray too far from the pack house. We don't want anyone thinking you are a rogue trying to attack us. Most have heard you are here but lets not push it."

  I nod my understanding and get up. Uncle heads back towards his desk while I head towards the door, followed by all four guys. I'm not sure where I'm going but I know I need to talk to the guys.

  I look over towards Braxton and he seems to know what I want. Grabbing my hand, he leads me towards the stairs and back up to my room. When we reach the door, I open it and head in, knowing they will follow. Randolf and Luca haven't really said anything at all since they caught my scent, so I'm not sure how this talk is going to go. Steeling my spine, I turn towards the guys who have spread out around my room.

  "Okay, I don't know if this is as much of a shock to you guys as it is to me, but I'm not sure where we go from here. I want to make it known, right now, that you all don't have to stay. If you are not interested in me, then please be honest. I'm going to have a hard enough time letting you get close to me as it is. Trust is really hard for me and I am working on it. Also, please know, I will give you a chance if you want it but if you hurt me or decide you don't want to be with me, there will be no second chances. I didn't have an easy childhood and with time, I may be able to go into detail with you. For now, please know that I will try. I'm sure that I'll piss you off but I also won't run away from you without a good reason. I want to be able to talk things out so that we both understand each other. I also don't know how this works with four of you and only one of me. Do we go on group dates or one at a time? Do we all sleep together? I don't want to deal with any jealousy. If you feel left out or something, I'm hoping we can talk about it, as a group. Maybe we could have a family meeting or something. I've never actually had one of those but I did read about it in a book so I guess it's a thing. Most of this is new to me and I will need your help. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you don't want to be here, there's the door. If you do want to be here, then let's figure this shit out. So, I guess the question is, where do you guys stand?"

  I raised my head from where I was staring at the floor and looked around the room. Luca was still in wolf form but I could tell that he had listened to me by the way his eyes watched me. Braxton had a huge smile on his face while Bryce's face was completely unreadable, his eyes the only thing showing emotion. It looked like hope but I couldn't be sure. Randolf was the first to break the silence.

  "I don't know about these boys but I would be honored to get to know you and vice versa. I knew from the moment we met that you were going to be trouble, I just didn't realize how much. It's a good thing though because I'm ready for the challenge. And let me make this clear from the get go. You are not required to do anything you don't want. If you want to go on group dates then we will. If you want to go on individual dates then we will. Hell, if you don't want to date any of us, then that's how it will be. As for sleeping arrangements, I would love to talk to Alpha to see if we can get a group suite. I'm not sure if we have one that's large enough for all of us to have our own rooms but I'm sure we can make whatever we have work for us. None of us will ever pressure you into anything and if anyone tries to, you let me know and I will kick their ass!"

  The last part is said with a slight growl that makes my lips curl up into a smile. The way his gaze goes across the other guys shows that he means it. The tingle that has been with me since I met them all grows and it's like I can feel my shattered soul slowly being put back together. My hands are shaking but that slows with his words also. I can feel in my gut that he means every word that he says and that helps me calm down the rest of the way.

  Looking around the room, it seems like everyone agrees with him. Clapping my hands together to relieve the tension, I start, "Well, since that's out of the way and none of you left, where do we start?"

  For the first time, I see hesitation on Bryce's face but he takes a deep breath and looks right at me. "I think we should each talk a little about ourselves and our pasts. That way we can get to know each other because if we are to stick together, I think it would be best if we start here and now."

  When I reluctantly nod my head in agreement and look imploringly at him, he sighs. "Well, I guess I'll start. My brother and I joined this pack when we were 8 years old. Most of our previous pack was killed, including our parents and sister, by another Alpha and he didn't want anyone to stay that could potentially challenge him. Since Brax and I were powerful, even that young, we were one of the first groups to be exiled. One of the other teens from our pack, Brock, was able to get us almost to Alpha Carl's pack lines when we were attacked. There was no way that we could fight off the three wolves without dying and Brock knew it. He told us to run while he distracted them. It was the hardest thing that we have ever had to do in our lives. As we approached the pack lines we could hear the others start their hunt for us and I knew that Brock was dead. I didn't want to make him die in vain so Brax and I ran for all we were worth. We barely breached the pack lines before the attack started on us but they only got in a couple hits before Alpha Carl's enforcers took over. After that, they only last a couple minutes before they were dead too. Brock's Aunt, who is part of this pack, took us in. From that day on, we have trained every day to become strong warriors and prove our loyalty to Alpha. He took us in when he didn't have to and I will never forget his kindness. That is definitely not something that is seen very often in this world."

  With that said, he dropped back to his relaxed stance against the wall and looked at his brother. That's the most I have ever heard him say at one time and I was amazed. I figured something had happened when he was younger but not that he lost his whole family except for his brother. I want to comfort him but I don't know how. Instead I look across the room into his eyes and nod in understanding. Life isn't fair and we both know it.

  Braxton sees the look I share with his brother and a small smile breaks free before he adds to the story. "Our life before the pack got slaughtered was not all roses. Our family tried to protect us but we lived with a brutal pack. If we walked anywhere, we took the chance to get beat up. That pack believed that you must show dominance at all times or you didn't deserve to be a part of them, even as a child. We were expected to be bullies and fighters. What my brother is leaving out is the fact that he normally took the brunt of that abuse so that I wouldn't have to. It never came from our parents, and I never understood why we stayed, but other families viewed ours as weak and felt that we needed to be taught a lesson. I can honestly say that without Bryce, I probably wouldn't have made it. We watched each others backs and you would never find us apart. When we came to this pack, it took us a long time to trust anyone. Both of us were just waiting for the beatings to start. One day, about a month after we arrived, Al
pha Carl came to us and took us for a walk. We both really thought that was it and he was going to either send us away or make us fight. Instead, he took us to the park down the road. We had never been there because we wouldn't leave the yard. He sat us down and explained how this pack worked and that we shouldn't be afraid to interact. Once we looked around and realized that he wasn't kidding, we started going out more. It still took a while for us to trust the others. We trained hard every day and officially became Beta's two years ago. We both respect Alpha Carl for everything that he did for us, both back then and now, and he has been an inspiration to us most of our lives. As for this mating, we are both all in. You'll have to cut my brother some slack because he's a dick, but he's loyal and will never do anything to intentionally hurt you. Neither will I."

  They have both given me a lot to think about and I nod to let them know that I was listening. Turning towards Randolf, I wait to see if he will continue. Once he notices my gaze, he smiles and looks down before speaking.

  "My story isn't really that interesting. I was born into this pack and my parents are still around. You know that wolves don't age like humans but they still like to retire after years of service. Both of my fathers were Betas for Alpha Carl for over 20 years and they trained me to follow in their footsteps. Once they decided I was ready, they stepped down. I have always wanted to be an active part of this pack and I am grateful that Alpha allowed me this honor. I am an only child but I have quite a few cousins here."

  Randolf takes a deep breath and then looks directly in my eyes. I can see the hesitation he holds but I also see the hope that sparkles there. That one look tells me that he wants this mating and his next words confirm that to me.

  "I knew from the moment that I met you that you would be trouble, I just didn't know how much. It is such an honor to be chosen as a mate and I intend to do everything in my power to make sure that you know how much this blessing means. I don't know much about you but we have the rest of our lives to learn. Actually, I'm excited because I know this is gonna be fun!"

  His smile makes us laugh because it's slightly crazed. Even Luca, who is still in his wolf form, lets a chuff out that sounds like a laugh. It's hard to believe that less than two weeks ago I was alone and now I'm working on a family. Between Uncle and Matt, I would've been happy. Now I get to add these amazing guys. How did I get so lucky?

  Looking down at the floor to hide just how emotional I am feeling, I try to push it all back. A soft rub of fur against me brings my face back towards the room. All the guys are looking at me with understanding in their eyes and it almost breaks the damn I have erected to hold the tears back.

  Taking a deep breath, I look down at Luca to see him sitting by my feet and staring up at me. The animosity that was in his eyes at our first meeting is gone and all I can see is merriment. I really figured I would see resentment or hostility, but I didn't. I'm baffled and I decide it's time to hear from my final mate.

  "That just leaves you Luca. I know that we didn't exactly get off on the right foot and haven't even really spoken so I would understand if you don't want any part of this."

  Stopping there, because I really don't want to delve too deep without knowing what he's thinking, I wait for his response.

  You would consider me for a mate without even seeing me in my skin?

  "Well, I have never really paid attention to what people look like. I learned early on that some of the cruelest people have beautiful masks. I want to know what is on the inside, I guess you would say. I don't have the patience for fake people who say one thing to your face but then act completely different behind your back. I am giving all of you guys the benefit of the doubt on this because neither Uncle nor Matt raised any objections. I guess we just need to see if we can all get along together because being a unit sounds like it could be hard to get used to, especially since it sounds like we are all used to being on our own in a lot of ways."

  I can respect that and you are correct that our first meeting was not a good one. However, I hope you understand that I was just protecting my Alpha from a perceived threat. Once I learned that you were a guest, I realized that I had overreacted but I haven't had a chance to apologize. So, I guess the first thing I need to say is that I'm sorry for doubting your sincerity. You have protected our Alpha more than once and for that I will never be able to repay you.

  I can feel that he means everything he's saying so I nod my head and smile so he can continue.

  I am not from this pack. I'm ashamed to say that I am actually from Alpha Cadens pack but he was not the Alpha when I was there. His father, while very tough was also very fair. I'm not sure what happened to him at the end to make him challenge Alpha Carl but that has never set well with me because it wasn't like him. I came here eight years ago looking to switch packs because I couldn't stand Caden and I didn't want to be under his rule when he became Alpha. He and I went to school together and he is not a good person. I'm not sure if you are aware of this or not but most of the time the only option to leave your pack is to go rogue. I didn't want that so I got ahold of Alpha Carl. I knew that he was known for being a fair and compassionate leader and I asked him to accept me. Still to this day I don't know what he saw in me but he not only accepted me but has always treated me as one of his own. I was a stupid teenager back then but he never held that against me. I lost my parents to a car accident when I was twelve so I had been alone for a couple years already. The rest of the pack had tried to include me but I was angry and grieving. I wouldn't let them help me. I just wanted away from all the memories and I think that Alpha understood. Ever since the day he took me in, I trained and learned to harness that anger. When he offered me a position as one of his Beta's, I was floored because that is usually an honor that is only bestowed upon close family and friends. Since Randolf's dads were both retiring, it left an open spot that he filled with me. I will never dishonor that trust that he has given me and now, to hear you state that you would give me a chance without even seeing what I look like, I would be proud to call you my mate and better half.

  Considering the guys don't look as shocked as I do, I guess they already knew this. Of course, they would all have to be close with one another if they worked together as the Beta's for the last couple years.

  "Okay, so it sounds to me like we are all in this together and I really look forward to getting to know you all. For now, I think we should try hanging out as a group and then possibly going on individual dates or something. I'm not really sure how it's going to work but I would really appreciate your help in figuring it out." Braxton is the nodding along with everything I say and then he sets my mind at ease. "We would be honored to work together and look forward to a smooth future. I think our next step, for now, is to get thru the pack introduction! Then we will work on getting to know each other more."

  Ugh, can't I get a break?!

  Chapter 19

  Later that evening, we headed for the pack meeting. The boys and I had sat in my room, talking about what it was like growing up and learning more about each other. I still can't believe how comfortable I feel with them all. Even Bryce is growing on me after our group chat.

  My nerves grew the closer it got to meeting time and the guys seemed to send it so they distracted me with a movie and lots of junk food. Before long, we were all sitting around laughing and joking about some corny movie that Braxton found. It was exactly what I needed and I made sure to let the guys know how much I appreciated it. Even Luca, who decided I needed a snuggle buddy, hung out. He stayed in his wolf form but that was fine with me. I just wanted him to be comfortable.

  The pack meeting was being held in the clearing where we fought with Alpha Caden and his men so I knew the way. We weren't really in any hurry so the five of us kept to a slow walk. The boys seemed to build a shield around me with their bodies. Randolf took the lead with Braxton and Bryce walking to my sides and Luca bringing up the rear. They never once said anything about it but I couldn't help how protected it made me feel, eve
n if I didn't really need their protection. I would like to say it made me feel loved but I'd never really felt that emotion before so I wasn't sure.

  When we arrive to the clearing, a lot of the pack members are already there. I guess they heard about me because there is a lot of staring going on. The guys seem to close ranks around me and lead us towards Uncle. He's speaking to a couple of his enforcers but he looks up when we get close so he must sense us. He looks between the guys and then at me, motioning us over with his hand. The enforcers nod towards us as they turn away and head towards the platform where the introduction will take place.

  I take a second and look around the clearing. Quite a few people are mingling here and there but it looks like they are mostly in family groups. I see a few toddlers mixing together with the younger teens. They must be on guard duty for tonight. I also catch one group standing towards the side. Normally I would just continue my appraisal but the look on their faces makes me pause. It's not just anger that I see. It looks like pure hate and rage, rolled into one. I have heard it said before that if looks could kill, you'd be dead. Well, that would definitely apply in this case.