‘I never assumed you were.’
‘It’s just the natural feeling, isn’t it? She’s supposed to be the arch-enemy.’
‘I suppose so.’
‘I felt rejected by Mike. I felt old and frumpy – a bit like I’d been tossed on the compost – but not jealous. She’s done nothing wrong.’ I laugh. ‘She’s a bloody fool but she hasn’t done anything wrong. I am worried about the kids though; this is going to be hard for them.’
‘Your kids are wonderful, Steph. They’ll adapt.’
I nod. ‘Yeah, I know.’
‘I guess we have just one more problem to solve …’ Edward raises both eyebrows and I frown, not following. ‘How on earth do we cut a Belgian bun without getting sticky hands?’
I pull a packet of wipes out of my bag. ‘Tools of the trade.’
Chapter 24
After Mike left last night, I’d sent a text to the book club WhatsApp group in a blind panic. I can’t remember what I wrote exactly and the thought of rereading it makes me wince, but it was something along the lines of ‘Mike has a girlfriend. I’m the mouldy bread crust at the bottom of the bag’. There was definitely something additional like the kids are going to prefer their new mum and I’ll have nobody. Or words to that effect. Needless to say, both Amanda and Janey replied immediately. Amanda with the generic ‘Oh no, I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do’ and Janey with the predictable ‘What a twat’.
So, Janey has called the kids for an emergency sleepover at hers and is leaving Jimmy in charge whilst the three of us go to the pub and, I must admit, I’m sort of glad she’s making him take some responsibility. Although, after my lunch with Edward earlier today, I’m not sure I’m in the mood. I have a weird churning in my gut that’s making me uneasy. I don’t think the lunch was particularly awkward, I actually enjoyed it. It’s more of a hindsight thing; a belated acknowledgement of spilling all to my boss as being a bit weird. I haven’t processed it and now there’s no time because I need to get ready, pack the kids’ overnight things and get to the pub to process a different set of feelings. Honestly, if I knew I was going to be juggling all these emotions, I’d have mentally cleared out the ‘teenage angst’ years to make room.
The doorbell rings right on time. ‘Door’s open,’ I shout. I’m in the middle of putting some diamante studs in my ears that I bought from Claire’s accessories about four years ago. I’ve only just opened them.
‘Ooh someone’s making an effort! A certain vet isn’t going to the pub tonight, is he?’
I frown. ‘No. It wouldn’t be our pub anyway. He lives over near the practice in Crinkly.’
‘You never know, maybe he lives life on the edge and ventures to Milden for spontaneous nights out.’
‘Unlikely. However, the kids are ready for their random sleepover,’ I say throwing her a big smile. ‘Anyway, tell me, did you talk to Jimmy? Is that why he’s babysitting? Is he trying to make it up to you?’
‘Do you know what, let’s talk about it later. Don’t want to put a dampener on things.’ Before I get a chance to speak, she shouts for Ralph and Ava. ‘Right, I’ll take them across and get them settled. You give me a shout when you have your glad rags on.’ She scoops up Henry.
‘Do you need his travel cot?’
She shakes her head. ‘No need. We still have ours.’
Half an hour later, Amanda, Janey and I are all walking towards the pub. The fact there are three of us and an excited buzz of chatter helps me relax a little. To be honest, the nights haven’t felt as terrifying recently. For weeks, I’ve gone to bed replaying conversations with Edward in my head and as crazy as it is, it’s helped me.
‘So, how are you, Stephanie?’ Amanda asks.
‘I’m okay. It was a shock and I felt a bit like the last green, sprouting potato in the sack when I panic-texted but I think Mike and I will actually be a lot closer now. He’s been an idiot really and I can see now it’s because he was stressed. It can’t be cheap having a family and a girlfriend to pay for.’
Amanda crinkles her eyes like she’s in pain.
‘It’s fine. I’m fine,’ I say dismissively. ‘We talked and after the initial shock and feelings of rejection, I think we’ll be friends. It will be better all round for the kids if we can make that work.’
‘I’m sorry, Steph,’ Janey says. ‘I made you think he wanted to get back with you. That’s probably why you were in so much shock. I’m such an idiot.’
‘Oh, no. I think, deep down, I suspected the same but got caught up in the idea of being a family again. I definitely didn’t expect him to have met someone. I suppose I just don’t see Mike as being the type of person to be noticed. He sure as hell won’t have put himself out there. This Kate woman must have accidentally landed on his lap whilst simultaneously being speared by Cupid’s arrow.’
‘I’m still sorry. You’re a wonderful person, Steph. Why wouldn’t he want you back?’ Janey says, pulling me into a hug.
We arrive at the pub. The warm air hits us as we walk in out of the dank evening air.
‘Right, I’ll get ’em in and you find a table,’ Janey says.
Amanda and I weave our way through the groups of punters sipping pints and eating peanuts. There’s a little snug in the far corner and we manage to score a table right at the back.
‘Oh it feels good to be out,’ Amanda says, shrugging off her coat. ‘I’ve been stuck in with a cold all week and I’m so glad to be over it.’
We chat for a while and then spot Janey balancing a tray precariously as she fights her way through the throngs of people.
‘Over here.’ I stand up and wave. She spots me and heads over.
‘Busy tonight,’ she says, handing out the three glasses of Prosecco.
‘Anyway, glad you found a table. Cheers, ladies.’ She holds her glass up and we each clink our own against hers.
‘Right then. So, where were we?’
The Mike debacle crops up again but if I’m completely truthful, I’m doing very little of the talking. Amanda and Janey seem to be solving my ex problems all by themselves. I don’t even think they notice when I slip to the bar and return with another round.
‘I actually had this conversation with my boss today. Is that weird?’ I say, impinging on their chat about a next-phase plan for me.
‘What? Edward? As in your boss, Edward? You told him about Mike coming over last night?’
‘He saw I was a bit out of sorts so invited me to walk to the bakery with him at lunch and we chatted. He’s actually really easy to talk to. It all sort of, fell out.’
‘It fell out, did it? What else fell out?’ Janey winks and I cock my head sideways to indicate my lack of humour on the matter.
‘He’s divorced too,’ I say, moving on from Janey’s sordid mind.
‘Perfect. He obviously likes you if he’s taking such an interest in you and treating you to baked goods.’
‘He doesn’t have many friends; he told me as much so I think he’s just a bit lonely. The only people he talks to are clients at the practice and the staff. Carly is on a different wavelength and there’s the nurse but I have only met her a few times. She’s lovely but older and has all her own family stuff going on.’
‘If I didn’t know better, I’d say you had a vetish.’ Janey giggles and I roll my eyes. ‘Oh, come on. We can tell you like him.’
The bubbly Prosecco has given me a warm, giddy feeling and the urge to admit it is too strong. ‘Okay, yes. I do like him. He’s a bit odd but has this genuine kindness and patience that you don’t often see in people these days. It’s almost like he’s from another era. But …’ I give Janey and Amanda a loaded look. ‘He’s my boss. Neither of us would want to muddy the waters along that definitive line.’ I take a sip of my Prosecco to punctuate the finality of the statement.
‘Fair enough,’ Amanda says.
‘You’re using some very big words,’ Janey says. ‘You almost sound believable.’
‘I thought we were here to ch
eer me up? Not railroad me into begging my boss for a date.’
‘That’s exactly right,’ Amanda says. ‘So I’ll get the next round in.’
‘So what happened with Jimmy? I can tell something is wrong,’ I ask Janey when we’re alone.
‘I told him I had a friend in need and he’d have to babysit.’ She roots in her bag and when she doesn’t produce anything, I suspect she’s upset.
‘Good for you.’ I frown. ‘And me.’ I nudge her gently. ‘But that’s not everything, is it?’
‘I haven’t spoken to him since he turned down a meal out with his wife.’
‘Oh, Janey.’ I notice her eyes welling up and it breaks my heart.
‘I’m going to give him an ultimatum. I hate the idea of it but I don’t want to bring the kids up in a house filled with arguments and frosty silences and at the moment I have a closer bond with Donald Trump’s toupee than Jimmy.’
‘That’s a lot to go through. Remember I’m here for you.’
When Amanda returns, the conversation moves away from ex-husbands and intriguing bosses and we have a real laugh discussing our wildly different school years. Janey was one of the cool kids, the sort you wanted on your side. Amanda went to a private boarding school and her idea of shenanigans was sneaking out of bed for a midnight feast. Mine was the most beige. I was just one of those kids who coasted through in the middle, both academically and socially. It’s weird how we’re all sitting here on a relatively level playing field now. Granted, I’m out of cash and need to leave before we start on second rounds and Amanda probably has a black American Express card in her purse with a credit limit that would buy the entire pub but none of that matters, we’re just three women having a great time.
‘So, Amanda, what do you do for fun?’
‘Well, you already know I love to read and I do a bit of gardening, but only the flower beds because the rest is too big for me to manage. I bake a bit and—’
‘Boring,’ Janey shouts and I wince. ‘Real fun. I know we’re all a bit past it, but I mean going out and doing things exciting.’
‘What do you do that’s exciting?’ Amanda flips the question back to Janey who drops her head onto her resting arms and sighs.
‘Not much. Up until a few years ago, I’d have the odd night out in Manchester with a few of my old friends. We didn’t do clubbing but we’d have cocktails in nice bars and that sort of thing. It sort of tailed off when everyone had kids and now I hardly see them.’
‘Maybe we should plan something fun to do together,’ Amanda suggests. ‘I’m not sure what. Maybe one of those escape room things and a cocktail after or a shopping trip and champers lunch.’
My mouth feels dry; this is starting to sound expensive.
‘All right, you’re on!’ Janey says. ‘Hey, didn’t you say you’d never had a one-night stand, Amanda?’
‘No. Not a chance is that ever going to happen,’ she says, crossing her legs as though Janey meant right here, now.
Since it’s my ‘big day’ tomorrow, I have a good excuse to call time on the evening before Janey heads to the bar to start the second lot of rounds. We walk home and Janey agrees to drop the kids off at eight in the morning so I have a few hours with them before Mike comes. We walk Amanda up the lane and when we get back to our road Janey turns to me.
‘Are you sure you’re going to be okay?’
‘I nod. Yes, I think so. It’s just very new but I’ll adjust and so will the kids. Are you going to be okay?’
‘Always.’ She hugs me tightly and wishes me goodnight. ‘I’ve got my gal pals now, haven’t I?’
When I get inside the house, the air is thick and still.
Tomorrow my family is going to change forever.
I’ve never felt more alone.
Chapter 25
We’re all buzzing around waiting for Mike. Ralph can’t find the charger to his DS, Ava has lost her favourite doll (today’s favourite I might add) and Henry is wailing for no apparent reason. My carefully laid plan was to sit Ralph and Ava down and explain that Daddy would be introducing someone special to them today. I was going to warn them about being kind and having good manners and all the normal stuff you go over with kids when you don’t want them to reflect badly on you as a mother. As the morning descended into chaos, there was no chance of sitting down for a heartfelt chat. Instead, much to my shame, I ended up screaming up the stairs that Ralph wouldn’t need his DS and Ava wouldn’t need her doll because Daddy has something important to tell them. When they come home tomorrow and things are a little calmer, I’ll be here with hot chocolate and cuddles instead.
The doorbell rings bang on time (for once) and whilst Ralph is still hunting the precious charger cable, I answer it.
‘Hi,’ Mike says sheepishly.
‘Hi,’ I reply, opening the door wide enough so he can step inside. There’s a moment of awkward tension as we both (or at least I) replay the events of Thursday night.
‘The kids are almost ready. Can I get you a drink or do you need to dash off?’
He checks his watch. ‘I should get going really.’
I nod. ‘Listen, I haven’t had the chance to tell the kids what today is all about. They’re in a fractious mood. I think they’re restless.’
‘That’s fine. I’m going to take them to the park, let them burn off some energy and then tell them about Kate. All being well, we’ll meet her at the ice-cream parlour by the river.’
‘Good thinking,’ I say as Ralph comes hurtling down the stairs.
‘Found it.’
‘Good, now grab your overnight bag,’ I say walking into the lounge to scoop Henry out of his playpen.
‘Henry hasn’t eaten much so be warned – a tantrum could brew at any second. I’ve put some rice cakes in the changing bag just in case.’
‘Daddy!’ Ava squeals as she does her usual run up to him and Mike fakes having the wind knocked out of him. I have to look away because this is the last time they’re going to see their father in the same innocent light. Whatever they think of Kate, our family dynamic is about to change.
They leave shortly after and I get stuck into a deep clean of the kitchen. When that’s done, I take Otis on a long walk. We both return muddy and after I’ve hosed him down, I run myself a bath. It seems odd to have a bath in the afternoon but I’ve nothing better to do and I want to keep myself occupied. When I get out, I notice several missed calls from Edward. My first thought is that there’s been an emergency. I wrap my hair in a towel and call him back.
‘Is everything okay?’ I ask before he has time to say hello.
‘Yes. I mean no. It’s Mrs Pearson. Ruby has gone missing and she’s beside herself. I wouldn’t have called, it’s just … well, I thought you might be glad of the distraction today so wondered if you wanted to help me search for her? There’s absolutely no obligation though.’
I deliberate. On one hand, I’m all warm and cosy after my bath and I could just curl up with a movie and a glass of wine but on the other, there’s a good chance I’ll be on tenterhooks worrying about the kids and I sort of feel for Mrs Pearson. ‘Give me fifteen minutes and I’ll set off.’
‘Fantastic, meet me at the practice in half an hour.’
I put the phone down and glance at Otis. ‘It’s your lucky day, buddy, we’re going on a cat hunt.’ His ears prick at the word cat. ‘We’re not going to eat the cat,’ I say sternly. God, is this what I have to look forward to, conversations with the dog?
***
‘So, what’s happened?’ I ask Edward when I get to the practice. He greets Otis by ruffling the fur around his neck.
‘Mrs Pearson opened the door to the postman and Ruby shot out. She said she’s never done anything like that before. She’s a house cat.’
‘Oh, maybe it’s your fault. That poor cat has probably gone off searching for better food since you damned her to an eternity of cat food.’
‘It’s funny you should mention that because Mrs P said exactly the same thin
g.’
I can’t help but laugh at that. ‘Okay, so where have you searched so far?’
‘I’ve just had a walk around, looking over walls and fences into people’s gardens. I think we need to knock on some doors to ask if anyone has seen her. We should also ask people to check sheds and garages in case she’s been locked in accidentally.’
‘Good thinking. Should we split up to cover more ground?’ I say. Edward looks at me and pauses.
‘Er, yes. Good idea.’
I nod. ‘Come on then, Otis, show me what you’re made of,’ I say yanking his lead. After all the attention he got off Edward, he doesn’t want to leave and, weirdly, I know exactly how he feels.
Otis and I walk down the street closest to the practice and make our way down, knocking on each door as we do. Nobody has seen a cat matching Ruby’s description, but when I mention I work at Prescott’s vet’s I get a wide variety of animal health-related questions. Most don’t even seem to care that I’m only the bookkeeper and would quite happily take my free advice on worming and inoculations.
When I’m nearing the last few houses, I come across a pretty little cottage. All the houses around here are well kept but this one meticulously so. The paved path leading to the front door looks recently swept and weeded. Mine hasn’t been done since Mike moved out; a realisation that makes my neck prickle with shame. The pale-green front door has two newly planted hanging baskets on either side. Each one bursting with a colourful array of flowering plants. There are also a few planters dotted around the small front garden adding colour and a sense of pride. I think of my own, the small rectangle of flagstones with grass and dandelions sprouting between the cracks and the pot that houses cobwebs and the brown, slimy leaves of an ex-cordyline plant. I make a mental note to have a bit of a spruce-up. Seeing something like this every day would really cheer me up.
I stop admiring the garden so I can actually knock on the door. Otis sits patiently beside me. A few seconds later, the door opens and the sight of the woman standing before me takes the wind out of my sails.
The Single Mums' Book Club Page 12