by Doyle, S.
“I don’t want to have sex with you.”
“Really? Because I can feel your erection against my hip.”
She wasn’t wrong. I’d been hard this whole time. And now, with her body under my hands, her back undulating with my strokes, my erection was even more urgent.
“Being hard for you and wanting to fuck you are two different things.”
“Can you please explain that?” she asked, even as she lifted her ass in the air when my thumbs pressed into the small of her back, my fingers practically circling the span of her waist.
“It means your body turns me on. It always has, since you grew up. But I don’t want the complications of fucking you. And there would be complications.”
“Like what?”
“Ash, you’re all up into my shit now. How do you think you’re going to feel if I bone you?”
“You say that like it’s one-way. It’s not.”
“It is,” I insisted. Then I started to run my hands up her back again, my thumbs on either side of her spine, my fingers dancing along her ribs until I felt the soft full flesh of her tits. One more inch farther up and they would be in my hands.
“Okay, fine.” Her breath was coming in soft pants. Shallow enough I worried she would get too excited.
“Breathe, Ash. Slow breaths. Easy in, easy out.”
She did, and I could feel her rib cage expand. Could feel her taking in the oxygen she needed.
“But if all the complications are on my side, and I’m leaving in a few weeks, why do you care?”
She was leaving in a few weeks. I wouldn’t see her. Wouldn’t touch her. She’d be an ocean away from me.
I removed my hands from her back, found the strings of the suit on either side of her body, and pulled them together to tie them in a tight knot. Officially closing her off to me.
She let out a disappointed sigh, then flopped over on to her back.
I wanted to touch her again so I forced myself to get off the lounge. “Find someone who will be gentle with you, Ash. Because I would not be.”
“I don’t want gentle! I want you!”
I didn’t listen. Instead, I left the pool area, headed to the carriage house and the shower. This time, though, I did linger. This time I let myself think about her naked back and how fucking hot it would be to come all over it. To rub it into her skin so I would always be there. A part of her. Inside of her.
A few more weeks. The truth was, I didn’t know if I was going to make it.
15
A few weeks later
Ashleigh
I was leaving tomorrow. This was my last chance. For weeks I’d been doing everything I could think of to seduce Marc. For weeks, he’d been shutting me down. But it was getting harder for him—no pun intended—to resist each time. I could tell from the tension roiling in his body.
With it just being the two of us on the estate, we kind of fell into a weird rhythm. He left for work every morning and I handled a lot of the chores George would have done. Including the shopping and cooking.
Like some caricature wife from the fifties, I greeted him most nights when he came home from work with a hot meal at the carriage house That wasn’t necessarily part of my seduction. I loved cooking, and he because he worked all day, he loved eating my food.
We talked about his upcoming semester. He hadn’t lied when he said he was going to push himself to graduate faster. We talked about the impact delaying college entry would have on my professional life. But the truth was, if I was going into academia, it really didn’t matter when I got started. I would basically be in school forever.
Then, after the dishes were cleared and cleaned, by him, after we’d watched Netflix for an hour or two to wind down, I would ask him to take me to bed.
He would tell me to go home.
He’d said the exact same thing tonight, but I knew, and he knew, it was our last night.
And I knew, and he knew, he hadn’t really meant it.
That’s when I realized he’d been waiting. He’d known all along how this was going to end, but he’d wanted to wait until the last night. So that tomorrow I would be gone, and he didn’t have to see me to deal with the consequences. I wouldn’t be around to watch him deal.
Still, I’d gone through the motions. I said goodnight, went to the main house. Got ready for bed. I grabbed a package of condoms from the stash in my bathroom and set them on the table next to my bed, and waited.
Thirty minutes later, I heard the knock on my bedroom door.
“Come in,” I called, because I was suddenly nervous.
He opened the door and leaned against the frame, but he didn’t come in right away. Maybe he was nervous, too.
“Are you ready now?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he said roughly.
“Good, because I’ve only been waiting eight years for this.”
“Eight?” he asked with a quirk of his eyebrow.
“Okay, to be fair, more like four.”
He walked into the room and shut the door behind him. He was wearing jeans and a T-shirt, and I was nearly frozen as he casually tossed them aside. He was already hard, and when he walked over to the bed, he took my hand and wrapped it around his dick. I’d felt it before, but seeing it, feeling it in my hand, suddenly made this very real.
“This is what you said you wanted,” he said, taking my hand, moving it around the head so it bulged a little. “If you’re scared, I can always go. We don’t have to do this.”
I was scared. And we did have to do this. “The condoms are over there. Should I get one?”
“Shit,” he said. “I didn’t think to bring anything.”
“You didn’t?”
“I don’t bring girls back to fuck at the carriage house, Ash. You should know that. It’s not like I’ve got condoms lying around.”
I did. But still, he seemed like the type of guy who could fuck whenever he wanted, which meant always having a supply. But since this was my time with him, I didn’t want to think about those other girls.
“Are you going to tell me what to do?” I asked. I pushed my cotton shorts down over my legs and pulled my tank top over my head so I was as naked as he was.
Which was strange, because this part didn’t scare me at all. Like him seeing me naked was the way it was supposed to be.
He stared at me hard, and for the first time didn’t try to hide his desire. “At some points. But you also need to talk to me. I can’t make you feel good if you don’t tell me what you like.”
I moved over and he slid into the bed, then rolled over me until I was fully under him. The press of his body against mine was enough to make me tremble.
“You’re shaking, Ash.” He said it like an accusation.
“I can’t stop.”
He nodded, then bent to kiss me. The kissing was easy. It was soft and wet and intense, just it like it had been that first time. He kissed me like he might kiss me forever, which was a lovely idea, but I was too ramped up to allow that to happen. I wanted the hard part over so I could put it behind me. So we could have all the good stuff that came after. Like the snuggling and the soft words.
To that end, I reached between us for his cock. It was so hot I almost let go, but then the silky feel of his skin caught my attention enough to want to explore. Seriously? He was big and hot and hard, but he was also smooth? It was such a contradiction, but then he was pulling my hand away, linking our fingers together.
“I want to touch,” I complained.
“No. This first time will go easier if I lead the way.”
“Okay, but hurry.”
He snorted. “You don’t tell a guy to hurry. You tell him to go slow.”
I closed my eyes. “Marc, could you please refrain from using this opportunity to instruct me on how to be with the next guy who fucks me?”
“I’ll try,” he said, even as he dipped his head to suck in my nipple. That part he knew I liked. I liked it even better this time when I knew how it was going to feel. First one brea
st, then the other. He tweaked and pulled on my nipples until I thought I was nothing but my breasts and the string that connected them straight to my pussy.
I was about to tell him it was too much, or not enough, when his hand dipped between my legs and I felt the thrust of his finger. It was thick and tight and a little shocking, but it didn’t hurt.
“Listen to me, Ash.”
I shook my head. I didn’t want to listen. I just wanted to feel. I was slick and wet, and he was rocking his finger inside me back and forth until I started to move with him.
“There you go,” he encouraged me. “Fuck my finger, Ash. Get used to the feel of me inside you. You like this? Talk to me.”
“Yes. More,” I grunted.
Then I felt more pressure, a second finger, and his thumb was doing something else. My clit, right. Theoretically, I knew where it was biologically and I’d tried a few times to play with it, but it never seemed as easy to find as all the books described it.
I reached my hands over my head to grab my headboard. There were rails I could wrap my hands around and tug on even as he was focusing all his attention between my legs.
“I’m going to taste you now, Ash. Okay?”
“No,” I gasped. “No, no. It’s too much. I’m not ready.”
“So, you can handle my fingers and my dick, but not my tongue?”
“Do not try to attempt logic with a fragile virgin!” I screamed.
“Fragile, my ass,” he muttered. “Okay, you want this over. Let’s do this. It’s going to hurt. I can’t stop that. You just have to tell me how bad.”
I was still holding onto the posts in my headboard. He was on his knees in the middle of the bed and he was spreading my legs out even further. I had this crazy thought he looked like some Viking pillager, and, while that probably shouldn’t have been a turn-on, it kind of was.
Because it was Marc. The person I knew best in the world. Yes, he was going to hurt me. But he wasn’t actually going to hurt me.
“Lift your ass,” he said shortly. I couldn’t tell if he was annoyed with me for wanting to rush things, or simply holding himself on a tight leash. I heard him tear the condom open. Lifted my head to watch him roll it on. Then his hands were under my ass and he was positioning me in a way that would make it easier for him to penetrate me.
God. After all this time, he was going to be inside me. Connected to me physically. The way I’d always known we were connected emotionally.
I felt the blunt head of his penis barely push inside and already it stung enough for me to bite down on my lip. He retreated, then tried again, but this time I let out a squeak of pain.
“Relax,” he barked. Like that was going to do the trick. “You’re fighting me.”
“What the hell does that even mean?”
He leaned over me then, his face up against mine, holding his weight on his arms. “It means you’re too much in your head.”
Right. Because Marc was trying to put his penis inside me. That was a pretty heady thing.
“You won’t let me go down on you. There’s another way that might…turn over.”
He backed away and gave me room to do as he asked. I was lying on my stomach with him next to me, wondering how this was supposed to help anything, when his hand came down hard on my butt cheek.
I squealed.
“Oh yeah. This is going to be fun. Can’t think now, can you, Ash?”
Another spank, another sting. One cheek, then the other. I didn’t know how to process it. It didn’t hurt. Not really. But he was laughing maniacally, slapping away at my ass. I started twisting to get away from him, then arching to get more of it.
I could feel him kneel between my legs again, then suddenly he was sliding inside me that way and it hurt and stung at the same time, but I couldn’t stop him, couldn’t push him out.
I was making some noise. A cross between a scream and a growl. Something totally animal-like.
“Too much?” he asked, pressing himself against me but holding still.
Yes, it was too much. It freaking hurt so bad. There was no way I was ever letting him do this again. The word stop was right there on my tongue.
Except he pulled away, so I didn’t have to say it. I was about to let out a sigh of relief when he pushed back inside me, deep. It kept going that way. My hips were in his hands. He pulled them toward him when he wanted to press in, pushed them away when he pulled out, but never all the way. It was this relentless wave that kept crashing over me again and again.
“You’re so fucking tight, Ash. So fucking perfect.”
Okay, that was good. At least he was enjoying this.
I was not…I was… It was strange because, while I thought it hurt, it was the kind of achy pain that felt good in a way, too. A moment ago, I wanted him to stop. Now I didn’t.
A few strokes later, I was bucking against him, and, this time, he gripped my hips to steady me.
“Hold on to the bed rails again,” he barked.
I did as he asked, and this was good because I could use them to push myself harder against where he was impaling me.
He was grunting. Or I was grunting. I couldn’t tell. There was all of that and the slap of wet flesh colliding.
“I’m going to try and make you come,” he said, leaning over my back.
That was not going to happen. There was no orgasm that could come out of this for me. But I didn’t care. Because he was pushing into me without remorse or gentleness and I felt so powerful because of it.
He reached under me and tugged on my nipple. Then the other. Then back again. Then that same hand dipped lower and his thumb found my clit, clearly swollen this time, and every time he flicked at it, I bucked against him.
“Oh fuck, Ash. Fucking come. Now!”
It was crazy he thought he could command that. Crazier still, it worked. I felt this epic explosion that started in my pussy but spread out along my whole body. Then he was snapping his hips hard and fast against me and that just made the pleasure go on until, finally, with a last thrust, he shouted my name.
Together, we collapsed on the bed. Then he was slipping out of me and I gave a whimper of relief. My pussy was hot and throbbing, and it hurt and stung. There was no more definitive proof I could have that I was not a virgin any longer.
I smiled into the pillow.
Marc got out of bed and walked to my bathroom. A second later, I heard the toilet flush, then running water. A second after that, he was back standing beside the bed.
“Spread your legs.”
“Nooo,” I moaned. He couldn’t possibly touch me down there.
Except then he was pressing a cold washcloth between my legs and that felt divine. He held it there for a long moment, until the coolness went away. Then he tossed the cloth on the floor and got into bed with me. I moved to make room.
He was on his back, his arm bent behind his head to support it. His face was so serious.
“Are you going to be weird now?” I asked him. Because I didn’t want us to be weird. Not now, in this moment.
He looked at me and his expression softened. “My plan was to leave once the deed was done.”
“That sounds like a very Marc thing to do,” I told him.
“Yeah, I was going to be all…nice fuck, I’m done now. Going to head back to my room.”
I smiled. “Well, at least I was going to get a compliment out of it.”
He laughed and shook his head. “Ash, I swear to God…I don’t. I don’t understand what I feel when I’m around you.”
I slid closer to him and rested my cheek on his chest. My thigh across his.
“Did it hurt really bad?” he asked.
“At first,” I said honestly. “Did you like spanking me?”
“Fuck, yes,” he laughed. “Never did anything like that before in my life. I just thought I needed to loosen you up somehow. Finally, finally getting to smack your ass. If I didn’t know what this night was about, I might have come right then and there.”
>
“I’m too sore for us to do it again. I don’t want this to be our only time before I leave. Which if you hadn’t made us wait…”
“If we’d spent these last few weeks since your birthday fucking our brains out, tomorrow would be that much harder. You got what you wanted. I have your virginity now for all time. Tomorrow we split apart and get on with our lives.”
“Are you going to have sex with other women?” I asked him. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t. We’re not in a relationship yet. I just want to know if you are so I can prepare myself.”
“I’m going to fuck all the women,” was his answer.
“Asshole,” I muttered. Then, because I was tired, I relaxed more against him. All the anticipation of this day, this night. What it meant for our future. Finally, just the physical exertion of the act itself. All of it weighed me down until I felt myself drifting off to sleep in Marc’s arms.
* * *
Marc
I listened to her even breathing. In and out. In and out. There was always a certain amount of pleasure to be found in listening to Ash breathe easy. I held her close to my chest and tried to force my brain to think about other things.
I was taking her to the airport tomorrow. After that, I had a week left at my internship before heading back to school. I’d doubled my credits for this semester and would see if that would crush me, or if I could handle the workload.
Fucking Arthur Landen and his damn threats. But Ash was right, in that I wasn’t the only leverage he had over her. The sooner I graduated, the sooner I would be making my own money. Enough to support both Ash and George if that’s what I needed to do.
What I didn’t think about. What I wouldn’t let myself think about. What I decided I would never think about again…was sex with Ash.
That feeling in my chest when I first slid inside her. More than any orgasm. More than any sexual feeling at all. It was an explosion of warmth and comfort and safety and love.
Home.
The very second I thrust into her, connected our bodies, I knew I’d found it.
I’d had a home once, and they had to pull me out of it kicking and screaming.