by Anna Argent
He stiffened, and she knew she didn’t want to hear what he was about to say.
“I can’t do that. You know I have to go back.”
“To die?”
“I’ll be fine. Someone gave me a handy gadget to keep me alive.”
She sat up, refusing to relent. This was too important. “What if it doesn’t work next time? What if your injuries are too bad?”
He touched her face so gently, it made her eyes well with tears. “I have to go. People need me.”
“I need you.”
He closed his eyes, and she could see signs of weariness painted across his face.
“I’m sorry,” she told him. “We can talk about this later. When you’re better.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. Your job is here. Mine is there.”
“They can’t make me stay.”
“They can, and you know it.”
She lifted her chin. “Fine. They can make me stay, but they can’t make me work. If they want those plans so bad, they can make their own.”
“Zoe. That’s not you, and you know it. People are dying. You can save them. You’re not going to let some petty dispute destroy lives. I know you won’t.”
He was right, and she hated it. “If you go, you’ll die.”
“I’m tougher than that.”
Tears streamed down her face, and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do to stop them. “You don’t know that. No one can. Everybody leaves me. Everybody dies.”
“Oh, honey.” He wiped her tears away with his thumb. “I would stay if I could. I love you.”
The world stopped spinning for a second as his words sank in. Even her tears stopped falling, like gravity ceased to exist. “What?”
He gave her a smile so sweet it melted her heart. “I said that I love you. And there’s not a force in the universe that can keep me away from you. Not even death.”
She didn’t know how she was going to let him go, but she knew it was the only option. Begging him to stay was just going to make leaving harder on him.
She loved him too much for that, even though she refused to utter the words. He deserved them, but she was terrified to give her feelings a voice.
If she said the words aloud, it would only make it hurt more when he left. And she couldn’t stand to hurt anymore. She wouldn’t survive it.
“I have to go,” she told him, without looking him in the eye. “I have work to do.”
Chapter Thirty-five
Talan healed as fast as he could—not so that he could go back to his job, but so that he could find Zoe.
She hadn’t come to see him since he’d told her he loved her. That kind of thing had a way of making a man more than a little self-conscious.
Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything, but he’d been at death’s door twice without it opening for him. He really didn’t think there would be a third chance to come back from the brink. And as selfish as it was, he wanted her to know how he felt, so he could go face danger again without any regrets.
He found one of the Master Builders, Anri, sitting outside in the sunshine. She was middle aged, with short graying hair, wearing long robes the color of tree bark. Her pretty face was turned up, her eyes closed as she soaked in the warmth and light of the sun.
From what Talan had heard, Anri had been assigned to see to Zoe’s adjustment here. If anyone would know where she was, it was Anri.
He sat beside her, glad to be doing so out of choice rather than necessity of his weakened body. Patience had never been his thing, and waiting around for his body to heal had nearly driven him mad. It was good to be whole and strong again, and he had Zoe to thank for it.
“I’d like to see Zoe before I leave. Do you know where she is?”
“I do,” answered Anri.
“Will you tell me?”
“No. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
She turned her face upward again. “I miss the sun down there. I can’t seem to keep my mind clear without coming up here every day to see that it’s still burning overhead.”
“And I miss Zoe.”
“You’ll miss her less when you’re busy doing your work on Earth.”
“Is that your way of dismissing me?”
“When you were healing, her work was beautiful. Fast. Flawless.” Anri opened her eyes and looked at him. “Now that she knows you’re leaving, she can’t focus enough to figure out what she wants for lunch.”
“And that’s my fault?”
Anri shrugged. “What did you say to her the last time you saw her?”
“That’s none of your business,” he said.
“She’s in my charge. I’m the overseer of her work, her life and her contentment. Everything about her is my business.”
Anri was right. He had no fair claim to Zoe. She belonged to the Builders, not him.
He let out a long sigh. “I told her I loved her.”
“Ah. I see now.” Anri turned her face back to the sun. “I was in love with a warrior once. It cost me five good years of creation. I never forgave him.”
“For destroying your concentration?”
“For dying.”
Talan understood what the woman was trying to tell him without actually making an accusation that could get him in trouble with the authorities. Disrupting a Builder’s work was a punishable offense. Especially in a time of war.
“I didn’t die,” he felt the need to remind Anri.
“Not this time. But she knows you’re leaving. She knows it’s just a matter of time. She works as though she’s the only thing standing between you and death.”
“I would try to reassure her, but she hasn’t come to see me.”
Anri shielded her eyes from the sun to stare at him. “She’s gifted in a way I haven’t seen since the death of her mother. She could save us all if she could get her emotions to behave. You issuing declarations of love before stepping back into battle was not helpful.”
“So what do I do? I can’t take the words back. I won’t.”
“Everyone must make sacrifices in a time of war. Even you.”
“You want me to lie to her?” asked Talan, appalled at the idea.
“Do you think it would help her work?”
Zoe would see through his lie. If she hadn’t believed that he loved her, she wouldn’t have stayed away like she had. Nothing he could say now would undo his mistake. And it was a mistake. He saw that now. His declaration of love had scrambled her thoughts and, in doing so, put her in danger. She might be the only one who could follow through with her mother’s work.
“I don’t,” he finally said. “The only thing that will help her concentrate now is time. She sees my death as inevitable. She has to deal with that in her own way and time.”
Anri let out a heavy sigh. “We don’t have time.”
“Let me see her. Talk to her. Maybe I can find a way to undo my mess.”
Anri stood and smoothed her robes. “Come with me.”
She led him below ground into the Builders’ tunnels. Bright lights burned overhead, but there was still a sense of darkness all around. No natural light. No breeze. No wildlife out the window.
Zoe must hate it down here.
He found her slumped over a workbench with parts strewn all around. Unlike her workspace on Earth, there was no method here—no organization. It was a tangled mess that he worried was a mirror for her thoughts.
No one would be able to create in the face of so much chaos.
Her hands shook as she tried fitting a tiny part into a larger whole. Even from here, he could see that the work was sloppy and not like her at all.
Anri stood in the doorway, urging him forward. “Fix her.”
“Zoe,” he said quietly, so as not to startle her.
She looked up, and he could see in her eyes that she was suffering. Her skin was pale with a sallow cast that made her look sickly. There was no sheen to her complexion. No life in her gaze. Deep crescents shadowed her
eyes and hollowed her cheeks.
This was not the woman he knew, filled with life and hope and a spark of brilliance. This person was a panicked stranger living in frantic fear.
“Busy,” was all she said before going back to her work.
“How long has she been like this?” he asked.
He shared a concerned look with Anri, who said, “She hasn’t slept in days. Refuses to eat. All she does is work, and her skill is deteriorating by the hour.”
“Why didn’t you do something?” he asked, appalled.
“We thought it would work itself out, that her body would finally relent and shut down her brain so he could rest.”
“I can’t sleep,” Zoe mumbled. “I have to end the war.”
Talan’s heart broke as he realized just how much of a burden she’d taken on her slender shoulders. And he was at least partially responsible for placing it there. If he didn’t do something soon, the woman he loved was going to work herself to death. Literally.
He turned to Anri. “I’m going to fix this before I have to leave.”
“You’re scheduled to step through the first window tomorrow morning.”
“Then I’d better work fast.”
Anri nodded. “Her sleeping quarters are across the hall. The last meal she refused to eat is still sitting on the table, waiting for her.” With that, she left the room in a swish of long robes.
Talan went to Zoe and pulled the crooked metal pieces from her trembling hands. She tried to fight him, but she was so weak, it didn’t even slow him down.
“Look at me, Zoe.”
She finally managed to focus on his face, but her pretty brown eyes were dull and bloodshot. “Talan?”
“I’m here, honey. It’s time to sleep.”
She shook her head and tried to pull away. A few slippery strands of hair slid from her lopsided bun. “I can’t sleep. Not until this is done.”
“You have to.” He thought about telling her that her work was crap, but decided doing so might freak her out even more. “I need to rest, and I can’t unless you lay beside me.”
Concern darkened her eyes. “Are you hurt again?”
“No, but I still have some healing to do,” he lied. “Will you come lie down with me?”
She gave a faint nod. “Just for a minute.”
He helped her wobble across the hall on weak legs. Some meat and fruit had been set out for her, but he decided that sleep was the first order of business.
He stripped her Builders’ robe off, doing his best to ignore the bare skin he so desperately wanted to touch.
She’d lost weight over the last few days—something she couldn’t afford to do. He’d deal with that soon, but her mind was his biggest concern.
He took off his shirt so he could feel her skin against his, then pulled back the blankets so she was forced to climb in first. He got in after her, crowding her on the narrow bed. She was pinned between him and the wall with no way out unless he let her.
Talan pulled her against his body, and within seconds, she was out.
He held her like that for hours, keeping her warm and touching her lightly so she’d know she wasn’t alone. He didn’t know how long she slept, but he felt when she finally regained consciousness.
“How do you feel?” he asked.
Her back was against his chest, and the fact that she didn’t turn around made him wonder if she didn’t want to look at him.
“Better. Thank you. I should get back to work.”
“In a little while. You have to eat first. Shower. And then we need to talk.”
She pushed up, stealing the covers to hide her nudity. Because he had her caged in, she was forced to climb over him, and while she wasn’t as weak as before, he could feel her limbs shaking with effort.
Talan sat up. Zoe disappeared into her bathroom. He heard water run for a while, then the shower started.
He couldn’t help himself. He had to be near her—soak her up for as long as he could before he left.
When he opened the bathroom door, she was standing in the sunken shower room with water streaming over her naked body.
Instantly Talan was aroused, but he choked down his desires enough so he could focus on giving her what she needed.
She finally saw him as he shed his clothes and joined her in the shower. There was nothing welcoming in her gaze, but nothing that told him to go the hell away either. If anything, she was hesitant, almost timid.
That only made Talan want to pursue her more.
He settled his hands on the curve of her slippery waist, hoping that would keep them from straying. This wasn’t about sex. It was about intimacy—about him being someone she trusted enough to be naked with. Maybe if she accepted that, she’d trust him enough to listen.
He was careful to keep all accusations from his tone. “You’re important, Zoe. You need to take better care of yourself.”
“I will,” she said, though he had the impression she was saying it just to appease him. “You shouldn’t be here. You have work to do. People to find.”
“Nothing is more important than keeping you healthy.”
“It’s just…” She closed her eyes. “There are so many people counting on me. You’re counting on me. My work has always been about fixing dinner faster or watching your favorite show. It’s never been about saving lives. I don’t think I’m cut out for this kind of pressure.”
“You are. It’s just new. You have to give yourself some time to adapt.”
She lowered her head onto his bare chest. Her voice was small and afraid. “What if I can’t do it?”
“All you have to do is eat, rest and give yourself some time. The rest will just happen. It’s what you were born to do. You don’t have to force it.”
“I liked it better when I was just some nerdy girl no one could understand.”
“I understand you.” He tipped her chin up. “And I love you. No matter what you can or can’t do.”
She closed her eyes. “You have to stop saying that.”
“Why?”
“Because I can’t watch another person I love die.”
Her implied declaration of love didn’t go by unnoticed. His heart fluttered with joy, but he didn’t let a bit of it show on his face. She wasn’t ready for that yet, and he couldn’t stand the idea of adding to the pressure she already felt.
“So you’re just going to close yourself off?” he asked gently.
“Until the work is done. Yes.”
“I won’t let that happen. It’s not good for you or your work. All those deep emotions you feel? They’re part of what allows you to create such brilliant designs.”
“I don’t believe that.”
He wrapped his arms around her to pull her more tightly against him. “You know it’s true. Passion and creativity go hand-in-hand. You can’t just turn one off and expect the other to flourish.”
She looked up at him, her dark eyes soft. “So you think that if you kiss me, it might spark an idea. I think we should test your hypothesis.”
His cock twitched with interest, but he kept his cool despite the fact that he had the world’s most beautiful woman naked, wet and plastered against him. “I didn’t come here to seduce you.”
She went on tiptoe to kiss him, and he wasn’t a strong enough man to stop her. Her lips were warm and soft—just like he remembered. And the taste of her was pure sunshine and rain.
If he lived forever, he’d never kiss a woman who made his soul sing the way she did.
Before things got out of hand, he pulled away and cupped her cheeks so she was forced to behave. “I have to leave soon. I don’t want to do that worried you’ll think I just came here for sex. I don’t want you to question what I feel for you—not for even one second. I love you, Zoe. It’s your job to let that love show you how to fly.”
She swallowed hard enough he could see her throat working. Water trickled down her head and over her shoulders. It pooled between them, where their bodies were pressed to
o tightly together for even a single drop of water to fit.
She tightened her hold on him. “I don’t want you to leave, but I understand you have no choice. If not for you, I would have died. There are other people out there like me who need you to save them too.”
“I can’t go if I think you won’t be okay. You have to promise me you’ll take care of yourself.”
She nodded slowly. “Only if you promise not to die. I need you to come back to me, Talan. I love you.”
Elation filled him, and he lifted her from her feet to spin her around in a show of joy. “I love you too, Zoe. Not even death is going to get in the way of that. I’ll come home to you. I swear it.”
He kissed her, letting her feel every ounce of faith he had. He knew that there was nothing powerful enough to stop him from coming home to her. She needed to know it too.
The kiss turned from sweet to hot in a matter of seconds. He hadn’t intended to claim her body, but her mouth was so sweet and tempting, her body a complex artwork of curves, dips and swells powerful enough to make him forget even his best intentions. He had no choice but to kiss her the way she demanded, answering to the call of her questing hands stroking his erection.
He picked her up and pinned her against the stone wall. Her legs curled around his hips, leaving her open and ready. He lined her up and slid his cock inside her in one long, smooth stroke of flesh on flesh.
Perfect. She was built just for him. It was the only thing that explained just how perfectly she fit him—body and soul.
Their mouths stayed fused together while he moved inside of her. Her kisses were as hot and wet as her pussy, and equally able to fog his mind with lust and need.
Her sweet sounds of pleasure filled his mouth as he increased his pace to suit her. He knew just what she liked—the rub of his chest hair against her nipples, the firm grip of his hands on her ass, the deep angle of penetration that stroked her in just the right spots so she melted around his cock.
Somewhere in the distance, bells rang out, but Talan didn’t care about that. All he cared about was these last few minutes of stolen passion with the woman he loved.
Pressure built in his balls as the need to come rode him. He knew this would be the last time for them for a while—maybe forever—and wanted it to last. Unfortunately, he’d been without her intoxicating power for too long, and his lust had grown out of control.