The editorial board of Critical Inquiry taught me that what I was really writing about was love and anxiety. Apologies to Jay Williams for all the “French colons” that have probably crept back into the manuscript on its way towards becoming a book.
My agent, Danielle Svetcov, is an absolute dream. In a literary utopia, all the agents would be clones of Danielle. She’s worked tirelessly at all hours of the day and night, fearlessly advocated for me and the book, and either calmed or cultivated my ego depending on what it needed day to day.
The team at Ecco, who turned a pile of mere words into this beautiful object, have been magnificent. Denise Oswald, my editor, is the personification of verve. Her energy and sense of humor is evident in every email and every edit. Emma Janaskie patiently taught me the finest distinctions between writing for academics and writing for trade. Along with the production and design team at Ecco, Sara Ridky and Anthony Russo made the book come alive with their gorgeous artwork.
Sundry advice on all manner of things from the aesthetic to the practical was offered generously by Aerin Hyun, Leo Vladimirsky, Benjamin Lorr, Ashley Wilson, Tim Casey, Peter Trachtenberg, Liz Gately, and Melissa Wachs. My peers in the University of Chicago’s Committee on Conceptual and Historical Studies of Science and my colleagues in Bard College’s Language and Thinking were the brightest and most generous first audiences for this project that I could have wished for. Jeff Boggs and Lauren Silvers served up Henry James sources and book cover inspiration; the popovers weren’t bad either. Isabel Gabel, cofounder of Rage on the Page, got me through afternoons when I really, really did not want to write. Suzanne Daggett, Nadya Ostroff, Leah Holroyd, and Richard Burgess-Dawson kept me distracted while waiting for auction news. Back in 2012, James Harker told me, “You know, there could be a book in that article”; sometimes you were expecting ein Glas but you find out that you’ve unexpectedly gotten eine große Flasche. David Elkins solved all my MS Word problems while Christian Blood read my footnotes aloud and chortled gratifyingly. Anurag Dhingra, Christina Bloomquist, and Frankie let me borrow their apartment when I needed somewhere to close myself off and write. Marie Regan offered endless encouragement and advice from afar, and she choreographs one hell of a celebratory dance party over Skype. Anjuli Fatima Raza Kolb is my alchemist, always.
I will always owe more than I can convey to the following people: Jason Emery, who has lent me words when I lacked the right ones, and who has endured my roughest drafts without judgment (once you’d seen the one I concealed in an empty yogurt cup, what was left to hide?); Rachel Ponce, who has spent many hours rescuing little things I lost, like all the footnotes to my dissertation (once) and my sense of self-worth (regularly); Niall Mason, who has expanded the boundaries of my worlds both geographical and intellectual; and finally, John Pharis, Sue Ellen Watson, and Parks Watson, fixed stars who have been there from the very beginning and who deserve their place here at the most important part of any piece of writing:
The End.
Notes
INTRODUCTION: LOVE, HATE, AND SEMICOLONS
“The semicolon has become so hateful”: Paul Robinson, “The Philosophy of Punctuation,” The New Republic (April 26, 1980). Reprinted 2002 at http://www.press.uchicago.edu/Misc/Chicago/721833.html, accessed October 22, 2018.
ugliness, or irrelevance: Lynne Truss, Eats, Shoots and Leaves (New York: Gotham Press, 2003), p. 108.
“transvestite hermaphrodites”: Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country (New York: Seven Stories Press, 2005).
almost 800,000 people: 741.2k shares according to SharedCount.com metrics, using the URLs http://bit.ly/5FNLFV and http://theoatmeal.com/comics/semicolon. Last verified on September 6, 2018.
“most feared punctuation mark”: “How to Use a Semicolon,” The Oatmeal, accessed September 6, 2018. http://theoatmeal.com/comics/semicolon.
“pretentious”: Robinson, “The Philosophy of Punctuation.”
downright trendy: See Chapter Three, “Sexy Semicolons.”
“purely a species of fashion”: George Campbell, The Philosophy of Rhetoric (London: W. Strahan, 1776), p. 340.
“gross mistakes”: Robert Lowth, A Short Introduction to English Grammar: With Critical Notes (London: A. Millar, 1762), p. xii.
“It’s tough being a stickler”: Truss, Eats, Shoots and Leaves, p. 2.
I. DEEP HISTORY: THE BIRTH OF THE SEMICOLON
The semicolon was born: On the origins and form of the semicolon, see M. B. Parkes, Pause and Effect: An Introduction to the History of Punctuation in the West (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1993), p. 49.
The humanists: Paul Grendler, “Humanism,” Oxford Bibliographies (June 27, 2017), doi: 10.1093/OBO/9780195399301–0002.
specially cut: Cambridge University Library, “Pietro Bembo (1470–1547) De Aetna,” Manutius and the Bembos (online exhibition). https://exhibitions.lib.cam.ac.uk/manutius/artifacts/bembo-de-aetna/.
sprinkled here and there: Parkes, Pause and Effect, p. 49.
“ugly, ugly as a tick”: Truss, Eats, Shoots and Leaves, p. 108.
“It is not concealed”: Quoted in ibid., p. 48.
II. THE SCIENCE OF SEMICOLONS: AMERICAN GRAMMAR WARS
“something like a complete grammar”: Goold Brown, The Grammar of English Grammars (1851; New York: W. Wood & Co., 1878), p. i.
“lay down rules”: Lowth, A Short Introduction to English Grammar, p. xiii.
“few precise rules”: Ibid., p. 169.
analogous to the rests: Ibid., p. 172.
English Grammar was a blockbuster success: John A. Nietz, “Old Secondary School Grammar Textbooks,” English Journal 54, no.6 (September 1965): 541–546, http://www.jstor.org/stable/811408.
“the best-selling producer”: Charles Monaghan, preface to The Murrays of Murray Hill (Brooklyn, NY: Urban History Press, 1998), p. vii. Italics mine.
at least one hundred and ten: Alma Blount, An English grammar, for use in high and normal schools and colleges (New York: H. Holt, 1914), p. 336.
a new system of parsing verbs: F. A. Barbour, “The History of English Grammar Teaching,” Educational Review 12 (1896): 492.
extending his predecessors’ criticisms: Ibid., p. 497.
“veer his course”: Brown, Grammar of English Grammars, p. 50.
when Kirkham revised: Ibid., p. 51.
“filled with glad wonder”: Ibid., p. 46.
In one particularly efficient passage: Ibid., p. 52.
more boasting: Kirkham in the Knickerbocker, quoted in ibid., p. 50.
Brown bit back: Ibid.
protests from parents . . . and school officials: See, for instance, the objections of parents in A. M. Leonard, “The Teaching of Grammar: Meeting at the Educational Room,” Massachusetts Teacher and Journal of Home and School Education (July 1, 1867): 243, and also the State of Connecticut’s rejection of grammar recounted in Barbour, “History of English Grammar Teaching,” p. 500.
as early as 1827: “Philosophical Essays 8,” Masonic Mirror and Mechanics’ Intelligencer (February 24, 1827): 66.
came to a boil by 1850: Barbour, “History of English Grammar Teaching,” p. 498.
simmered through the rest of the nineteenth century: See ibid., 500; and Charles H. Watson, “Shifts in Educational Methods,” The Watchman (May 10, 1900): 14.
“laws of language”: I. J. Morris, preface to Morris’s grammar. A philosophical and practical grammar of the English language, dialogically and progressively arranged; in which every word is parsed according to its use (New York: T. Holman, 1858), p. iii.
“errors” and “absurdities”: Ibid., vi–xv.
eviscerating the stale precepts: Ibid.
“If the truth be disagreeable”: Ibid.
virtues of the natural sciences: G. Dallas Lind, “Natural Science in Common Schools,” Massachusetts Teacher (August 1, 1873): 274. Another critic argued that grammar was important as a science, but that only prior study in natural science would enable students subsequently to investiga
te the fundamentals of English: physics as a prerequisite for language rules, as it were. See C.A.C., “The Natural and Physical Sciences in Our Grammar and High Schools: A paper read before the Middlesex County Teachers’ Association by C. A. Cole,” Massachusetts Teacher (June 1, 1874): 244.
a system of diagrams: Stephen W. Clark, preface to A practical grammar: in which words, phrases, and sentences are classified according to their offices, and their relation to each other: illustrated by a complete set of diagrams (New York: A. S. Barnes, 1847), p. iv.
thought of them that way: See Roberto Torretti, “Nineteenth Century Geometry,” in The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, ed. Edward N. Zalta, plato.stanford.edu/archives/sum2010/entries/geometry-19th/; and Jerome Fellmann, Arthur Getis, and Judith Getis, Human Geography: Landscapes of Human Activities (Madison, WI, 1997), p. 3.
believed the two disciplines were essential: See “Subjects and Means of Instruction,” American Journal of Education 10 (March 1861): 141.
“perfect” and “useful”: Anon., “Teachers and Teachers’ Seminaries,” American Annals of Education 7 (February 1837): 49.
“leading principles, definitions, and rules”: Peter Bullions, The Principles of English Grammar; comprising the substance of the most approved English grammars extant; with copious exercises in parsing and syntax; a new edition, revised, re-arranged and improved for the use of schools (New York: Pratt, Oakley, 1859), p. viii.
“in larger type”: Ibid.
“to convey to the reader”: Ibid., p. 151.
“the duration of the pauses”: Ibid., p. 152.
“The foregoing rules”: Ibid., p. 155.
“Some may begin to think”: Brown, Grammar of English Grammars, p. 22.
III. SEXY SEMICOLONS
“Forty-three wore the moustache”: “Beards, Smooth Faces, and So On,” Chicago Daily Tribune, March 16, 1857, p. 2.
the unfashionableness of two other marks: Brown, Grammar of English Grammars, p. 773.
“the parenthesis is now”: T. Churchill, A New Grammar of the English Language (London: W. Simpkin and R. Marshall, 1823), p. 362. Quoted in Brown, Grammar of English Grammars, p. 773.
“nearly obsolete”: Rufus Nutting, A practical grammar of the English language: accompanied with notes, critical and explanatory (Montpelier, VT: E. P. Walton, 1826), p. 126; and Bradford Frazee, An improved grammar of the English language, on the inductive system, etc. (Philadelphia, 1844), p. 187. Both quoted in Brown, Grammar of English Grammars, p. 773.
“little moons”: Parkes, Pause and Effect, p. 215.
“The COLON is now so seldom used”: Oliver C. Felton, A concise manual of English grammar: arranged on the principle of analysis: containing the first principles and rules, fully illustrated by examples . . . and a series of parsing lessons in regular gradation from the simplest to the most abstruse (Salem, MA: W. & S. B. Ives, 1843), p. 140. Quoted in Brown, Grammar of English Grammars, p. 773.
“we should not let children use them”: “Punctuation III,” The Common School Journal (February 1, 1850): 42.
“But who cannot perceive”: Brown, Grammar of English Grammars, p. 773.
“once very fashionable”: Ibid.
“The use of the semicolon”: H. W. Fowler, A Dictionary of Modern English Usage (1926; Hertfordshire: Wordsworth Editions, 1994), p. 568.
midcentury grammarians waffled: Brown, Grammar of English Grammars, pp. 770–771. Brown gives a detailed account of the various opinions on punctuation’s classification.
four possibilities: G. P. Quackenbos, An English Grammar (New York: D. Appleton, 1863), p. 264.
perfectly acceptable to link together: See, for instance, Brown’s Grammar of English Grammars, p. 771: “Of the different kinds of verse, or ‘the structure of Poetical Composition,’ some of the old prosodists took little or no notice, because they thought it their chief business, to treat of syllables, and determine the orthoëpy of words.”
grammarians distinguished between rhetorical pauses: See William Chauncey Fowler, English Grammar (New York, 1881), p. 743.
still permissible: Ibid., p. 749.
They generally prescribed them: See F. A. White, English Grammar (London, 1882), p. 212.
“but one use of the semicolon”: California State Board of Education, English Grammar (Sacramento, CA, 1881), p. 265.
“Where is the man”: John Van Ness Standish, “Too Much Teaching by Rote,” Chicago Daily Tribune, December 24, 1899.
“From childhood’s earliest hour”: “Power of Points: Punctuation That Upset Work of Solons,” Boston Daily Globe, January 20, 1901, p. 29.
“made trouble in the laws”: From The Indianapolis Journal, “A semicolon Before a Supreme Court: A Legal Treatise on Punctuation or a Changed Method Needed,” New York Times, December 31, 1895.
The Massachusetts Supreme Court had issued: David Cushing & another v. Paul B. Worrick, [no number in original], 75 Mass. 382; 1857 Mass. LEXIS 356; 9 Gray 382.
IV. LOOSE WOMEN AND LIQUOR LAWS: THE SEMICOLON WREAKS HAVOC IN BOSTON
“It was an unimportant”: “Saloons Shut by Semicolon,” Chicago Daily Tribune, December 16, 1900, p. 50.
“The lawyer brushed the dust off”: Ibid.
“That no sale of spirituous or intoxicating liquor”: Ibid.
“was meant to be and should be construed”: Ibid.
the barman’s attorney insisted: “A Semicolon,” Boston Daily Globe, December 6, 1900, p. 5.
“seemed to take a good bit of enjoyment”: Ibid.
“throw light”: Commonwealth v. George H. Kelley; Same v. James Sutcliffe, [no number in original], 177 Mass. 221; 1900 Mass. LEXIS 1038.
“punctuation may be disregarded”: Cushing v. Worrick, 9 Gray 382, paraphrased in ibid.
“The cause of all the trouble”: “Power of Points,” p. 29.
“Marks of punctuation may not control”: Quoted in ibid.
Police were ordered: “Saloons Shut by Semicolon,” p. 50.
“the proposition before the senate”: “Semicolon Stays,” Boston Daily Globe, April 11, 1901, p. 1.
“well known throughout the country”: Willard Holcomb, “Latter-Day Puritans: Boston Not Entirely Devoid of Alcoholic Glee,” Washington Post, June 2, 1901, p. 19.
“the greatest provoker of profanity”: Ibid.
“If every member of this house”: “Semicolon Law Stays on Books,” Boston Daily Globe, April 7, 1904, p. 1.
“friends and foes of the semicolon”: “Liquor Hours: Closing and Present Law Considered,” Boston Daily Globe, February 8, 1905, p. 4.
put to a popular vote: “Plain, Common Sense,” Boston Daily Globe, November 28, 1906, p. 6.
The people of Massachusetts approved: “Hotel Owners Getting in Line,” Boston Daily Globe, December 13, 1906, p. 6.
“good sense”: Ibid.
“At last”: “Revelry in Boston,: The Gorgonian Glare of Boston Virtue as Cure for the Drink Habit,” New York Sun. Reprinted in Boston Daily Globe, January 15, 1907, p. 10.
“members of the association”: “Hotel Men at Banquet Board,” Boston Daily Globe, February 8, 1905, p. 4.
V. THE MINUTIAE OF MERCY
“The modern Court”: Larry M. Eig et al., Statutory Construction and Interpretation: General principles and recent trends, statutory structure and legislative drafting conventions, drafting federal grant statutes, and tracking current federal legislation and regulations (Alexandria, VA: TheCapital.Net, 2010), p. 11.
“true meaning”: United States Nat’l Bank of Oregon v. Independent Ins. Agents, 508 U.S. 439 (1993) at 454. Quoted in Eig et. al., Statutory Construction, p. 11.
“the Court remains reluctant”: Eig et. al., Statutory Construction, p. 11.
“punctuation is no part of a statute”: Hammock v. Loan and Trust Co., 105 U.S. 77 (1881) at 84–85.
“punctuation is the most fallible”: Ewing v. Burnet, 36 U.S. 41 (1835).
“punctuation is no part of the English language”: Holmes v. Phoenix Ins. C
o., 9S F. 240. Quoted in Feliciano v. Aquino, GR No. L-10201 (1957).
a woman gets out of a parking ticket: Sarah Larimer, “Ohio Appeals Court Ruling Is a Victory for Punctuation, Sanity,” Washington Post, July 1, 2015, accessed September 9, 2018, https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2015/07/01/ohio-appeals-court-ruling-is-a-victory-for-punctuation-sanity/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.e5a5a0c0dd89.
“semi-colon which the appellant views”: Feliciano v. Aquino, GR No. L-10201 (1957).
“We find the defendant”: State v. Merra, 103 N.J.L. 361 (1927).
Alexander Simpson argued: “Semicolon Plea Fails to Save Murderer,” New York Times, May 17, 1927, p. 24.
In his dissenting opinion: State v. Merra, 103 N.J.L. 361 (1927).
“It does not appear”: Ibid.
finally making its way to the summer residence: “Hope Fading for Convicted Slayer,” Boston Daily Globe, August 2, 1927, p. 5.
Merra went to the electric chair: “Merra Is Executed; Says ‘I Die Innocent,’” New York Times, August 6, 1927, p. 28.
“unusually large”: “Bridegroom Is Executed 80 Hours After Wedding,” The Atlanta Constitution, August 6, 1927, p. 18.
“What more can two immigrants from Italy expect?”: Eric Foner, “Sacco and Vanzetti,” The Nation (August 20, 1977): 137.
anti-Irish sentiments: W. H. A. Williams, ’Twas Only an Irishman’s Dream: The Image of Ireland and the Irish in American Popular Song Lyrics, 1800–1920 (Urbana: University of Illinois Press, 1996), p. 148.
VI. CARVING SEMICOLONS IN STONE
“Rules and regulations”: Manual of style, being a compilation of the typographical rules in force at the University of Chicago press, to which are appended specimens of types in use (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1906), p. v.
nineteen regulations: Ibid.
“what everybody else calls it”: The Chicago Manual of Style: For Authors, Editors, and Copywriters (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1982), p. vii.
“much more a ‘how-to’ book”: Ibid.
Semicolon Page 10