by Rowan Massey
There were goosebumps on his arms. I pulled the heavy blanket up to his neck and settled in beside him, not touching him. He would probably apologize later. Or anyway, that’s what I told myself.
Nando usually stayed asleep all day, giving me the chance to take a look at him when he was sleeping and play with his cute curls. I didn’t stare at him like a creep. I just enjoyed being there for a few minutes. He was a heavy sleeper usually, but when I got up to get dressed and go to Doc’s, he woke up and reached for his P.
“Does your face hurt?” I asked, sitting on the bed and rubbing his arm.
He shrugged me away.
“No thanks to you,” he grumbled. “Being pissed off makes it hurt.”
Avoiding eye contact, he chewed his pill, then turned over in bed and ignored me while I put my boots on.
“I love you,” I said before I left, expecting him to at least say it back so I’d know he wasn’t going to stay mad, but he was quiet. He didn’t even move. I waited long enough to embarrass myself, then shut the door and left.
On the way to Doc’s, I cheered myself up thinking about the mice. Even though I’d promise not to get attached, I still knew each of them by their bin numbers and noticed they had personalities. There were two in bin sixteen that seemed to love each other a lot, snuggling up and playing at every chance. One in bin five reminded me of Nando. Its face was a little sideways, but I didn’t tell Doc, not wanting him to exterminate one of my mini fielders.
Around the corner from Doc’s, a tall, built man walked past me, going faster down the sidewalk than I was. My mind went blank, and I slowed down, wanting to run the other way. I stared at his back, looking him up and down like I was hallucinating. The man was wearing a Citizen Gardens uniform, logo and all.
Turning around and feeling slightly dizzy, I went back in the direction I’d come from, trying not to look nervous.
“Wally,” someone snapped in a deep, manly voice.
Looking over my shoulder, I saw a security man I’d seen a dozen times before but never talked to.
“It’s alright,” he said. “Go to work as usual, please.”
These guys always acted so formal. He was acting polite, holding his hands in front of him in a casual stance, but he was giving me an order.
My head ducked down. I did as he said and kept going towards Doc’s place until I was going up the stoop steps, feeling nauseated to see another man in uniform standing inside the big front window, looking out at the street like a guard. Doc didn’t open the door for me, and I was too nervous to knock, wiping my hands on my pants and looking over my shoulder in both directions. The door opened on its own after several long seconds, but it wasn’t Doc.
I stared straight ahead at the circled logo on the black soldier’s chest. He said nothing, but stood aside for me to come in. I did, feeling more anxious with each step because there were more of them. The house was full of them.
“What. The. Fuck.” I said it under my breath, but the guy who’d let me in heard it.
“Relax,” he said. “There’s no fight here. We didn’t infiltrate Emporium. Didn’t your boss tell you? The terms were negotiated by the Sardanas. Doctor Atul needs our protection, that’s all. Why don’t you go downstairs and do your job. Stay out of the way.”
He was talking to me like a child, but it was comforting. I looked up at his dark eyes, and I could tell he had kids. You can always tell. I would remember his face in case I needed help.
“Okay,” I said, and held out my hand to shake. “I’m Wally.”
“Peter.” He shook my hand and smiled. “Now go on, kid.”
I nodded and walked past two more soldiers in a daze. Their huge guns were scary, even though Nando had been carrying one every day since his latest promotion to the river. It was sexy when he held it. They were not sexy. They were scary as shit.
I was happy to get to the door of the lab, hoping only Doc would be down there, if anyone. But I heard a familiar laugh and ice went through to my bones, freezing me in place. I couldn’t even look up.
Avi.
There was nowhere to run. My vision was blurring up. No, no, there was one place to go, and it was down. I forced myself to move, opening the iron security door first, then turning the knob of the basement door, which was all thankfully unlocked. Shutting it quietly behind me, I raced down the stairs two at a time, hoping to run to the mice and just look at them until their friendly existence helped me to calm down.
But Doc was there, standing, not sitting, by his computers.
“Wally, what’s wrong?” he said, and headed towards me with his arms out. My breathing was fast, and my eyes didn’t want to blink. I let him take my arms in his hands. “Didn’t you get my texts?”
There were two gray-haired soldiers behind him, and they looked important. Their uniforms fit them perfectly, and they had red stripes above their shirt pockets. And they looked annoyed with me.
I looked to Doc and shook my head. If he’d tried to tell me about this, I must have been sleeping when he sent the texts. I’d been thinking about Nando and hadn’t thought to check for messages.
“Did you see Avi?” he asked in a whisper. “Is that why you’re scared?”
My mouth was dry. I couldn’t find the words. Last time I’d been in a building with soldiers and Avi in it…
“Is London here too?” I asked. That would make me feel a little better about being trapped the way I was.
“He might come. I’m not sure. Avi came because he said he wanted to be supportive of me or some such…I don’t know. Does it matter?”
“No, I just…um…can I go home?” I asked, my voice starting to shake a little.
“Go take care of the mice for me, will you?” he asked, looking apologetic. “I really can’t take care of them today. I’ll take these guys upstairs and make sure nobody else comes down here.”
Instead of answering, I hurried over to the racks of mice. At least I was surrounded by buddies, even if they couldn’t do a thing to help me. I peeked through the shelves and saw that Doc was talking to the important soldiers, but he was slowly leading them towards the stairs. I let out a huge sigh of relief when they left. Resting my head in my hands, I closed my eyes for a while, mind racing.
Like an idiot, I started cleaning poop out of cages before I thought to look at my damn phone.
Doc: I’m sorry to surprise you like this but things unfolded in unpredictable ways. Citizen Gardens soldiers, including the Citizen General, will be at my house today.
Doc: My brother will be here too, but I’ll keep him away from you.
Doc: Please come into work. The mice will be neglected otherwise, but I understand if you refuse to come.
Christ, that didn’t explain anything.
Taking care of the mice on automatic, I kept my ears on alert for anything going on up there I’d want to know about, but besides the muffled sound of heavy boots, there was nothing to hear. At least they were staying upstairs.
It took me longer than usual to do the job, since it was hard to focus and make sure I was doing things right. I kept double checking myself. When I was done, I paced all around the lab and noticed unopened boxes and packages in the supply area. Keeping busy would be better than waiting around for explanations, so I started opening boxes and putting things away, marking it all down on a sheet of paper.
I got to a white box with unfamiliar logos and stamps on it. It had crazy postage and stamps all over it from Japan or China or something. It wasn’t as heavy as all the boxes usually were. I tore it open and pulled out Styrofoam packing peanuts, making a mess to get to the thing inside. When I pulled it out and saw what it was, I dropped it like a hot potato.
It was an EEG cap, different from the one Avi had used, but still an EEG cap.
Darkness closed in on me, making me feel blinded and helpless. I could almost feel the straps, hear my own voice call for a mom I hadn’t seen since I was twelve. I hadn’t told Doc I wanted to do that, not even on the field, s
o why the fuck did he buy one?
There was no escaping the Sardanas. They were fucking evil. God, I hoped London really would show up! But what about the Peter guy? Maybe I could run and find him. No, he was a soldier, so if Avi ordered him to keep me trapped, he wouldn’t disobey.
I left the cap where it was on the table and started pacing the lab again until I came to the stairs. There was no way to lock myself in from the inside without a key, but there were guns. Yeah, there were guns right in front of me. I took one down from the wall. It was heavy; a black handgun, fully loaded. I wasn’t Spitz. I didn’t want it or want to figure out how to use it, but I would.
Hurrying to the bathroom, I locked the flimsy door and looked at the weapon in my hand. The safety latch was obvious, and I switched it off. Now all I had to do was shoot, right? But I didn’t want to shoot anyone over this. I’d rather get weaned off and experimented on, than kill anyone, but what if they’d decided they needed to take my brain?
“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” I whispered, walking in circles in the small space.
I sat on the toilet, panicking, but slowly getting clear of the darkness pushing in on me. Doc had talked about an EEG he could use on the field without tying me down or anything. Should I be assuming the worst? Maybe he was just hoping I’d say yes soon. I wouldn’t have thought it was anything bad if I hadn’t heard Avi’s laugh and seen soldiers all around me. It felt just like being in that tower, except there was no London to take care of me and save me.
Hunching over the gun, my stomach twisted in pain, I waited for something to happen, for answers to come to me. After just a few minutes, the waiting was unbearable. I took my phone out and texted Doc.
Wally: I dont now wats goin on but I have a gun and I want out of heer
My knees bounced, almost shaking while I stared at the screen, waiting for a response, but of course, he didn’t text me. Instead, he came down to the lab. I could hear footsteps, and it wasn’t boots. The shoes were soft and slow. The door was so thin that I could hear everything out there as if there was no door in front of me.
“Wally? What’s wrong?” he called.
Words were trapped in my throat. My chest felt like it had a fifty pound weight on it.
“Where are you?” he asked, sounding confused.
His steps went around the lab until he came right up to the door, making me feel like my head might explode. What was I doing?
He knocked in two little taps.
“You—you have to tell me what the fuck this is,” I said, voice strained and loud.
I heard him step to the side of the door.
“Okay,” he said calmly, “what do you need to know?”
“You bought an EEG! I didn’t say yes to that!” I shouted.
“I want to be careful with the kids I try to take off the drug, so I thought I’d pay some of them to dance with it on. I know you didn’t say yes, and I wouldn’t push for you to do it.”
Air left my tight chest, but I still had questions.
“Why is Citizen Gardens here?”
He sighed. “Wally, where are you pointing your gun?”
“At the ceiling.” I adjusted the gun in my grip. My finger wasn’t on the trigger. I wasn’t stupid.
“Point it at the floor for me and make sure the safety is on,” he said.
“No. The safety stays off. I want out of here.”
“Okay, I’m fine with you leaving, but I don’t want you accidentally shooting through the ceiling and hitting somebody.”
I pointed the gun at the floor, and was about to tell him that, but I heard footsteps on the stairs.
“Get them out! I mean it!” I yelled, jumping up. Ice went through my body. What would happen to me if they grabbed me, if Avi wanted my brain, if there were things going on I didn’t know about?
“Stop!” Doc shouted. “Everyone stop. I can handle it. Get out.”
“Are you sure?” Someone asked. “Is it the kid? I met him at the door. I’m good with kids if you need help.”
It was Peter. I was sure of it.
“He can stay,” I said. Maybe I could get him to back up or deny anything Doc said about Citizen Gardens.
Steps moved in different directions. Some went upstairs, others came towards me.
“Hey, bud,” Peter said. “Remember me?”
“Yeah. Peter.” I pointed the gun at the ground and licked my lips, but my mouth was dry.
“Why don’t you tell us what spooked you down here?” he said, still talking to me like he probably talked to his own kids. It was still calming.
“It’s about this EEG cap he found—” Doc started to explain.
“I want to know about the soldiers,” I interrupted. “And Avi. Tell me the truth.”
“Why are you worried about Citizen Gardens?” Doc asked.
“We’re no threat to you,” Peter said softly. “There’s no warring going on today. That’s a promise.”
“Wally,” Doc went on. “I asked Avi to help me because I knew Barkley wouldn’t like what I’m trying to do here. He’s been telling me for years I should take over Emporium and run it myself, which I’m not doing, but that’s why he’s being helpful. These guys are just acting as extra security. The Citizen General showed up…I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. He has some kind of political agenda surrounding Barkley and took an interest in what I’m doing. Like I said in my text, things unfolded quickly.”
“We don’t need to worry about that now, though,” Peter said, and it sounded like he leaned against the door. “Hey man, you want to hear a dirty joke?”
“What?” Doc snapped, and the sound of him being all uptight made me smile.
“A joke?” I asked.
“Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a man in a trench coat came up and flashed them. One old lady immediately had a stroke. The other couldn't quite reach.”
“Hilarious,” I said sarcastically. I’d heard that one before.
“Well, it lightened the mood, didn’t it?” Peter said. I could hear his smile.
“Kinda,” I admitted.
“What’s going on? Atul?” I heard footsteps on the stairs again, and I knew that voice.
I stepped close to the door and put my hand on it. “London?” I called out, and it came out as a sob. I sounded like a baby.
“Wally? Are you okay sweetie? Are you sick?”
“London, it’s being handled,” Doc said, sounding a little annoyed.
“No, everybody go away but London,” I said. I knew London wouldn’t tell any lies to me. “And I can hear everything out there. I’ll know if anybody stays.”
“I don’t want to leave you,” Doc said. “Can I please stay? I won’t talk if you only want to speak with London.”
Fuck. Whatever.
“Fine, just everybody shut up and let me talk to London. I’ll hear you whispering too,” I said, even though I didn’t know if I would. “Just stay away from the door unless I say.”
“Why don’t you just come out, sweetie?”
“Because I don’t know what’s going on! Avi is here, and I can’t know what they’re planning!” Finally, I could just say what I was thinking without wondering if there would be lies. After what London had done for me, I knew he would stand up for me and be truthful.
“Well, Citizen Gardens was originally supposed to be here only for a little extra protection— Can I just come in and talk with you?” London asked nicely.
“He has a gun,” Peter said in a low voice.
“I don’t care,” London answered back.
“You two stand away from the door,” I said, and I heard them mumble to each other before taking steps back.
When they were far enough away, I unlocked the door and opened it, waving at London to be quick. He stepped inside in two steps, and I locked the door behind him, but not before glancing at Doc, who had an awful worried look on his face despite having sounded so calm.
London had blond braids covering one side of his head li
ke when I met him. His handsome eyes looked down at my gun, which was pointed at the ground, but it was making him nervous. I put the safety on and set it down on the sink. His body relaxed.
“Tell me everything,” I said. “They think I’m stupid and aren’t explaining everything. I can tell. He said something about politics and the Citizen General wasn’t supposed to be here, was he?”
“No, he wasn’t,” London said, his face serious, even upset. “How much do you know about the alliances between the militias and gangs and so on?”
I shook my head. “Nothing. Why would I care, you know?”
London nodding understandingly. “Most people don’t keep up, actually,” he said. He sat down on the closed toilet seat and crossed his legs. “It goes like this: Emporium is special. Out of all the towns and cities in the country, its been allowed to stay insulated from all kinds of messes. Voters want to think that there’s still at least one place left in the world where they can go just to be happy and have fun; where none of the wars, factions, or famines can touch the people who live there. And it’s really like that here because it benefits everyone for a place of hope and safety to exist. The politicians, the militias, the gangs, the charitable organizations…they all talk up Emporium as a model of how things could be.
“People who look closely or live here know things aren’t anywhere near perfect, but this place is still where homeless kids go so that they can join this mythical field of happy dancers, and where rich people have come to retire so they can stay away from the troubles that have made their lives miserable. It’s where young people can party and forget that their education is going to be useless, that their parents have died of overdose, that they might end up dying in war like many of their siblings and friends.”
He uncrossed his legs and leaned forward onto his elbows, sighing. “I think the time for Emporium to be a haven and beacon of hope is over.”