No, she mentally corrected herself. She knew who he was. She knew his voice. He was the one who she’d been missing these past weeks, the man with blue eyes who kept swimming to the surface of her mind before her headaches rushed in to ruin it.
“Please,” she whispered. “Tell me—”
The comm system flickered off and then died.
“No!” she protested. “No, no.” Her head raged in pain while her arms hit the panel. She slumped into her chair and tried not to yell.
That was all she wanted to do. Yell and scream and rage, until the agony in her head was gone and the ache in her heart was satisfied.
Her head fell into her hands as more memories started to come rushing.
“Crush its heart!”
“No,” she whispered, just as she had that day. That face, the face of her enemy became clear.
Captain Chainsword’s ghost.
But he wasn’t a ghost, Aerie remembered. Her hands dug into the back of her head as she dived into the darkness inside of her.
She’d fought him. Finding herself out of options, she fought off Captain Chainsword as soon as he freed her from the tree.
His eyes.
Aerie’s eyes started to water. She remembered. His eyes were blue, like ice, full of pain and loneliness. The smell of him, that lingered on the jacket she wore ...
I remember him. I ...
She saw his hand reaching out for hers. She felt the memory of it as it held hers, startling her, shaking up everything she thought she knew about him and herself, too.
“Exton.”
His name filled the empty hole inside, the one she carried with her for the past several weeks. Not only did she suddenly know who she was and what had happened to her, she knew what she had to do.
She had to get back to him.
Aerie stood up and took off her headset, emboldened by the rush of pain in her head. She didn’t care anymore. After weeks of whispers and digging for the deep secrets inside of her, she had broken free. She finally had something greater than pain to sustain her.
The door banged open. “What on earth is going on?” Anand asked as he scurried over to her.
“Why are you here?” Aerie asked, shocked at his arrival. She’d come in early as he asked, but she never expected to see Director Anand until his shift began.
“The office alarm went off,” he said. “Did you come in here without punching the code?”
“Oh. I forgot,” Aerie replied sheepishly. There was a code she had to type in when she entered the room and booted up the monitors. She’d forgotten about it, so Anand was alerted.
He must have been the one who turned off the power, Aerie realized, upset at her own foolishness. It was included as part of the system to stop hackers or information leaks.
“Why are you here? It’s not time for your shift.”
“There was an attack, sir,” Aerie said. “I ... I got here early, because you said yesterday that I needed to come in early if I wasn’t going to stay late. You remember that?”
Aerie felt too clumsy with her words. She was grateful for the moment when Anand rubbed his tired eyes and blinked, as though he was having a hard time putting everything together, too.
“I ... I got here and went right to work practicing with the NETech protocol,” she admitted, hoping that she wouldn’t be punished for that. No one had ever said she couldn’t use it, even though she knew someone as uptight as Anand would be against it. “I picked it up and saw there was trouble. No one else was here, so I sent out a query. I had to reroute the regular comms, since they were jammed, or I would’ve called sooner.”
Aerie was glad to see he was more interested in pulling up the information on the monitor than paying attention to her. She was still reeling from the shock of hearing Exton’s voice calling her name again.
She rubbed her shoulder, still not completely sure how she wound up back in the URS.
“Oh, no.” Anand gasped. “The settlement at Chaya is being attacked.”
“Yes,” Aerie said, not sure of anything else to say. “Their regular comms are not responding. I managed to reroute and widen our comm frequencies, sending the jamming signal scrambling.”
If that’s one good thing I’ve learned since working here, she thought, unable to stop a spurt of pride. This was something that would have made her father proud of her.
“What did you do after answering the alert?” Anand asked. “Did you call for a status report?”
“I immediately sent out a signal, calling on all frequencies for survivors.” She tried to look innocent. “I didn’t know how bad the attack was.”
“Did you inform anyone?”
“What? No, of course not. I just found out what was happening, sir.”
Anand shook his head. “We need to inform General St. Cloud immediately, so he can respond.”
“Do you think he’ll send military relief?” Aerie asked. She suddenly wondered if her brothers or Brock would be sent out to help the fighting.
Maybe I can hop along for a ride ...
Aerie’s heart soared. She knew where Exton was. She could get to him while he was still there, if she hurried.
Anand began typing a message. “I don’t know what Dictator Osgood will order,” he admitted. “Chaya is a smaller settlement. We have only had control over it for a couple of weeks.”
“Why would it be attacked then?” Aerie asked.
“This is not the first time we have had our smaller advances attacked and rebuffed,” Anand snapped. “And it will likely not be the last.”
Aerie shrunk back and continued to monitor the screen. The satellite images coming through were coarse and blurry, but it was enough to make out several smoking pillars.
“Stay here,” Anand ordered as he headed back out of the room. “I have to notify our superiors.”
The minute he walked out of the room, Aerie grabbed her headset and put it back on. She tried to call in again, but it was no use.
Aerie glanced over at the monitor and pulled up the frequency readings. She tried to scramble them to get around the jamming signal once more, but it was useless.
I guess I got lucky the first time. Or they fixed it so I couldn’t hack their hacking, Aerie thought bitterly.
When Anand came back and told her to forward the readouts to the New Hope military base, Aerie found herself further frustrated.
Nothing was working. She was no longer able to get through. She was just a civilian now, and one who just had her access to communicating with the nation’s enemy cut off.
There has to be some way to get there, Aerie thought, weighing her options.
There was no way the General would let her go. At the thought of her father, Aerie was instantly caught up in the memory of how it felt to have him hold her up on the surface of the world.
He’d been lying, she realized. Her hands suddenly clenched into fists as she tasted a bitter mix of blood and bile. Her father hadn’t done anything to protect her—he’d done everything he could to protect himself!
That is just like him, too, Aerie thought.
For a long, awful moment, she simmered in her fury and stewed in her resentment.
But then she smiled.
I’m going to disappoint him. And that is just like me.
Aerie stood up. She tore off her headset and slammed it down on her consol. Then she grabbed her jacket off her chair and hurried out the door, brushing past Claire as she headed in for her shift.
“Aerie, where are you going?” Claire called after her. “Director Anand will be upset.”
Aerie didn’t reply. She couldn’t tell Claire that she was finally on a mission, and one that had no place for Anand’s orders.
She didn’t stop to reply, and she didn’t stop running until she was outside of the Comms Sec building. Once she was free, she turned in the direction of the military base.
It wouldn’t take long before the General called for her. He would know from her skipping out on work th
at she suspected something at minimum.
“I can’t stay here any longer,” Aerie whispered as she ducked through the city alleyways. Even though the lights were on the daytime setting, it was harder to see everything in the alley shadows. That was fine with her. She just wanted to get where she needed to be, and she wasn’t going to stop for anything.
Aerie revised that decision as she passed the education center.
Brock was there, heading inside.
“Brock!” she called. She easily cut through the steady stream of students and faculty to catch up with him.
“Aerie.” Brock’s eyes lit up as he caught sight of her. “I was just thinking about you.” He cleared his throat as some of his peers looked at him. “I mean, Comrade.”
Aerie faltered for a moment. She hadn’t spoken much to Brock since her birthday, and most of their conversation had been in terse and guarded tones.
She almost groaned; she didn’t want to have to turn this conversation into an argument over cohabitation options.
Hoping she could steer clear of that topic, she reached out and tugged at his arm. “I need to talk with you, now,” she said.
“I have to get to my class—”
“Now.” Aerie gave him a pleading look. “Please, Brock.”
He stilled, and for a long moment Aerie was sure he was going to say no. But when he finally spoke, he said, “Alright.”
That was enough for her, she decided. She could ignore the uncertain sigh that escaped him.
They ducked into a room beside the atrium. Aerie blinked in surprise as she recognized the dark room they stepped into was the auditorium. It had been several weeks since her graduation ceremony, but everything was as she remembered it, even the stillness.
“What is it?” Brock asked. “I hope this is worth it, because I’m going to get—”
“There’s been an attack,” Aerie said. “I need you to go to the military base with me.” That was about as vague as she could state her case, and she was going to use it to her advantage.
“What?” Brock asked.
Aerie tried not to grumble, just as she tried not to show how impatient she was getting. “I said, there’s been an attack,” she repeated.
“Why haven’t we been alerted?” Brock asked. He pulled out his military comm and glanced at it. “I don’t have any messages.”
Before Aerie could reply, the comm started beeping.
“There you go,” she murmured.
“General St. Cloud calling,” the voice barked from the other line. “All senior pilots must report to the base for emergency training. Repeat, all senior—”
Brock clicked the comm off. “It’s not an attack,” he said. “They’re just doing training this morning.”
“You need to go,” Aerie insisted. “And you need to take me with you. Trust me, it’s an attack.”
“Why should I trust you?” he asked. “You don’t trust me. You won’t even go to the Military Ball with me.”
Aerie tried not to sigh. What was a little social gathering compared to this?
“I was the one who answered the distress signal,” she told him. Aerie took his hand and tugged him toward the door. “Come on.”
His eyes narrowed at her. “Aerie,” he said, “I know you wanted to be part of the military, but I thought you were past that. For now, anyway.”
Aerie wanted nothing more than to punch him. What is wrong with him? Why is he not listening to me? Didn’t I just tell him that there was an attack going on?!
There was nothing left to do. She had to tell him the truth. “Brock, I wasn’t injured in a climbing accident,” she said. “I wasn’t in a medical facility for two weeks. I was captured by Captain Chainsword and shot.”
He stared at her.
“I’m not lying,” Aerie said. “That’s the reason I have been unable to move on.” She put her hand on her shoulder, the dull ache of her wound nothing compared to the damage to her pride.
“So ... Captain Chainsword captured you after graduation?” Brock asked.
“It was after my PAR,” Aerie murmured, hoping that he wouldn’t ask for details. She didn’t want Brock to know about her trips to the Memory Tree any more than the General wanted anyone else to know. “I was up on the surface when he attacked, and I wound up in his custody on the Perdition.”
Aerie felt her eyes moisten. As she said the words aloud, she thought of the quiet rhythms of the starship—the playful children, roaming freely; the efficiency of the design, packed with pleasures; the people, kind and generous and loving; the captain, mysterious and honorable and trusting.
“And ... he hurt you?” Brock asked.
Aerie laughed. “Not as much as I hurt him, probably,” she said, grimacing as the discomfort in her head began to pool at the back. She reached up and pressed into her head, and the pain lessened somewhat.
“What did he do to you?” Brock’s voice was quiet but angry.
He loved me.
Aerie shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she told him. “But I want to go and see him. He’s the one who’s behind the attack at Chaya.”
She was surprised to see Brock shaking. He turned from her to glare up at the picture of Captain Chainsword on the wall, where his picture was surrounded by other enemies of the URS.
“I can understand that you want revenge,” Brock said, looking up at the picture.
Aerie didn’t say anything. She was surprised by the venom in Brock’s voice. “Why do you hate him so much?” she asked, suddenly curious. Brock had always been upset by the mention of the enemy pirate captain, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized he had a special hatred for the face posted on the auditorium wall.
“He’s everything the URS hates, Aerie.” Brock turned to her. “I know plenty of the people he’s hurt. And now he’s hurt you.”
She was stunned to see how upset he was, and hurried to comfort him.
“It wasn’t your fault I was captured,” Aerie told him. She reached up and patted his cheek. “And I survived. There’s no need to worry about it now.”
“I’ve always tried to watch out for you, you know,” Brock told her. His voice was soft. “That’s why I offered to help you train, the first day of our secondary classes.”
Aerie blushed and took a step back from him. “It’s been a long time since I thought about that,” she admitted.
Several years before, when she fell during a training course, the first one after their return from a campus retreat, Aerie was berated and humiliated by one of their instructors. It didn’t help that her mother had recently died and her siblings were still in school. They laughed along with everyone else, at her.
Only Brock had stepped forward and offered to help her afterward.
She glanced back at Brock uneasily now, as he continued to stare angrily at the picture on the wall.
Aerie knew she couldn’t share in his vision. When she looked up at the captain, she would never see an enemy. Not anymore. She looked up at him and felt the call more than ever to return to Exton.
“I forgot you were the one who talked to me first,” Aerie said, returning her attention to Brock. “I always thought I was tagging along after you.”
No, Aerie realized, instead, Brock was chasing her. And if what he said before was true, he was smart enough to see the General could easily pose a threat to his future. Especially if he made the wrong move.
Brock took her hand. “I’ve always had a soft spot for you, Aerie.”
It was awkward, but it was the opening she needed.
“Then will you help me get to Chaya?” she asked.
Brock sighed. “I don’t know if I’ll even be going to Chaya,” he said. “I haven’t been summoned for training or anything. Only the seniors have been called. There is also the possibility that you’ve been misinformed.”
“I heard the distress call myself!” Aerie nearly shouted, her words echoing in the empty hallows of the large room.
&nbs
p; “Maybe your information was mixed up.”
“Why don’t you just tell me you think I’m being stupid?” Aerie snapped. She pulled her hand out of his. “I should’ve known better than to ask you to help me break the rules.”
“Rules matter, Aerie,” Brock told her, in a tone that made her think of the General.
“Truth matters more, Brock,” Aerie shot back, as she headed out of the auditorium.
“What is truth?” Brock scoffed. “The truth is what the URS says, and it is all to help keep us alive.”
Aerie shook her head. “Exactly!” she said. “The URS just wants to control us, Brock. To control you.”
“That’s insane, Aerie.”
“Do you know that the General actually told me that it would make me look good if I accepted your cohabitation proposal?”
“Well, he’s got a point,” Brock said.
“Ugh! And you wonder why I don’t want to,” Aerie replied. “Do you honestly want me to enter into a cohabitation agreement with you because the government would want me to?”
“It’s not like you wouldn’t be able to—”
“Answer me!” Aerie crossed her arms over her chest. “Answer the question. Do you want me to live with you just because the state thinks I should?”
She paused for a moment, before she looked back up at the picture of Captain Chainsword. “Don’t you want me to want to be with you, of my own choosing?”
Brock said nothing for a long time. Aerie waited, her ears perked so much she was sure she could hear the angry humming of his heart.
Finally, he spoke. “You’re sounding more and more like a defector every time I talk to you.”
Aerie frowned. “Then maybe I shouldn’t talk to you anymore,” she said. She didn’t wait for him to respond this time. She turned on her heel and headed out of the room.
She slammed the door behind her, upset Brock had been a lost cause after all, despite everything they had shared over the years.
Before she could make it out of the school, Aerie felt a hand grab her. “Hey!”
“Comrade St. Cloud, you will remain still.”
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