by Anna Samuels
‘This is home? Here in the village you mean?’
‘No, the hotel…and the village. Mum and Dad own this hotel and we lived here since we were little. Since Dad died, Mum’s been struggling to run it on her own, hence my return. She needed me, and I needed her. We’re muddling through. That’s why you’ll see me working in every role possible around here. I’m just trying to help her keep things together.’
‘Wow, Seren. That’s so wonderful of you,’ I murmured.
She shrugged. ‘I try,’ she said, quietly. ‘Most of all, I just needed some support. Turns out, Mum’s in no fit state to be helping anyone. She needs me more than I need her right now.’
‘How sad,’ I said, squinting up at her as the sun shone down brightly.
‘Yeah…I don’t have much experience of grief, but this has been rough. She doesn’t function well without him. We’re learning how to do this together.’
‘It must be hard…especially as you’re going through such a hard time with everything too. Can you talk to your Mum about it?’
‘A little,’ she told me, ‘but it’s hard. She’s not really ‘there’ right now, if you know what I mean. She’s dazed and hazy…not really quite her usual self. I’m hoping in time that that will change-but for now, it’s just…hard,’ she managed.
I lifted my hand and laid it gently on her arm which rested on the railing. ‘Well; I know I’m only here for the week…but I’m here for you-if you need anything. Even if it’s just to talk.’
She smiled at me, happily. ‘Thanks Abby. That’s really good of you.’
‘No worries,’ I murmured.
‘And what about you, Abby? You’ve had a bad relationship as well? What happened?’ she asked gently.
I sighed, and then turned to look back at the sea. ‘It’s a mess…and it’s similar in some ways to what you’ve been through, Seren,’ I said, looking back at her. ‘She was everything to me. We were together for a year and a half-and I thought the world of her, if I’m honest. She had me completely fooled.’
‘She did? How?’ she murmured.
I swallowed hard. ‘When I met her, she had just ‘lost her job’’ I told her, using my fingers to indicate the phrase. ‘She was sweet, attentive and loving towards me and flowered me with compliments which had me falling for her hook, line and sinker. Before I knew it, I’d invited her to move in. I thought this was it-she was the one! She seemed so wonderful at first, so perfect. She never argued with me, always there for me and everything I ever wanted…and then it all came crashing down…’
‘How? I don’t understand?’ she frowned.
I sighed heavily again. ‘She wasn’t who she said she was, Seren. Not even close. ‘I’ll tell you what she was though! A damn good liar!’
‘Oh…’
‘Yeah,’ I sighed. ‘For all the time I knew her, she sweet-talked me. She lived under my roof while she supposedly looked for a job and never got one. I worked my ass off while she got a free ride,’ I told her. ‘Then…’ I paused, ‘then I found out she was stealing from me…’
Seren’s eyebrows rose dramatically. ‘What?’
‘Yeah…she was taking money from my account and stashing it in hers and also taking belongings and selling them. I basically found out that she was using me very badly, and when it all came to head, she told me she didn’t care for me one iota. She was just interested in my money. I felt hurt, humiliated and then angry. I threw myself into my work like I never have before and soon went under…it was just too much. I collapsed one day after working too hard and not eating yet again and was taken to hospital. You might call it a wake-up call.’
‘I’ll say…what did the hospital say?’
‘They said it was exhaustion basically. They wanted to treat me for depression as well but I decided to deal with it naturally…and I’m trying. It’s just hard sometimes.’
Seren nodded, slowly. ‘I understand completely…and it comes in stages doesn’t it…the grief over losing a relationship.’
I nodded. ‘I was so upset at first…felt lost and was crying constantly. Then it became anger and hurt…I just wanted to lash out. Now there’s a sense of disbelief that I actually was such an idiot to believe she loved me and cared that much about me when she was only using me. Like you said before, there’s a sense of humiliation!’
She nodded. ‘Yeah…the humiliation is hard. It’s easier to replace it with anger I find. Mind you, I’m past that now.’
‘Yeah?’
‘I’m currently going through an indifferent phase,’ she told me, looking resigned to it.
‘You are?’’
‘Yes. It helps. Almost not caring anymore. And when you have more to think about than them, it helps too. Whenever she pops into my head, I get rid of the thought and think of my Dad. When you’re comparing the loss of a relationship with the loss of a parent…well, it doesn’t quite compare!’
‘No. I can imagine,’ I murmured, softly. ‘Well; actually I can’t having not been through it-but I can imagine how awful it must be for you.’
She nodded, smiling sadly. ‘You just don’t think they’re going to go so early,’ she murmured, speaking quietly. ‘He was only sixty-five. That’s no age these days. He never got to retire. He never got to spend lazy Sunday’s on a golf course. I worry he worked himself to into the ground and that’s why he’s gone. I’m determined now to make sure Mum doesn’t follow suit.’
I nodded, understanding.
‘I’m going to try and convince her to retire-even if it means returning to take over here myself.’
My eyebrows rose. ‘Wow! You’d do that?’ I asked.
She nodded. ‘It would actually be the right timing. Danny’s off to Plymouth Uni in September and I don’t need the big house I own to myself. I can sell up and move back here. It’s always been home and I’ve missed being here. Mum has a house in the village where she lives so I can be close by to take care of her…and this hotel is part of my life. My parents ran it when I was little so I’ve been part of this place for many years. I’d like to see it continue to run. My father would have liked that too.’
I smiled at her. ‘It sounds lovely. And what a beautiful place to live and work in,’ I commented, lifting a hand to indicate the beauty of the bay. ‘Such an incredible place.’
She smiled. ‘It is, isn’t it.’ She paused for a minute and then turned back to me. ‘Where do you live, Abby?’
‘I live in Bournemouth,’ I told her.
‘Oh, okay…another seaside town.’
‘Yeah.’
‘And what job do you do? What was it that drove you into the ground?’ she asked.
I sighed. ‘I have my own business. I’m an estate agent-but I set up my own company to work on my own. I’ve worked hard to grow the business and it was quite successful until…’ I broke off, shaking my head.
‘What?’
‘Well, until I had a lot of my money stolen,’ I said, somewhat bitterly.
She frowned, clearly bothered by my comment. ‘That’s awful…are you not going to be able to get it back?’ she asked.
‘I don’t think so. I mean, I filed a police report and let them know what had happened but she’s claiming we were together and that the money was given to her so it’s a case of she said, she said in many ways.’
‘That sucks. It’s so unfair and wrong that she should be able to get away with it!’
‘I know,’ I sighed, ‘but I’m not exactly destitute. I have my house, and I can sell more properties…it’s just annoying that all my hard work went to nothing.’
She nodded, clearly understanding. ‘Shall we walk? If we head down to the beach and over to the cliffs, there’s a lovely walk up onto the headland. You can look back at Sunset Bay and it’s a beautiful view.’
‘Yes, that sounds great-if you’ve got the time,’ I added.
‘Yeah, it’s fine. We’ve got the deputy manager in today so all is well. Mum’s at home resting so I’m content that everything’
s being handled.’
‘Okay then, yes! That sounds lovely!’ I smiled.
We headed down to the sandy beach and walked across the soft, silky sand towards the cliffs. Once we reached the edge of the cliff, I saw the path she had mentioned which started with stone steps leading up into the woodland on the side of the cliff.
I followed her up, through and over the stile and then into the woodland. A short, tree-lined walk led us out into the open fields and up over the headland. When we reached the summit, I turned back to look across the bay. It was stunning. Absolutely stunning. I exclaimed with fervour at its beauty.
‘Oh wow, Seren! This is incredible! What a wonderful view of the bay!’
‘I know,’ she smiled, leading me over to a bench where we could sit and enjoy the view.
‘Ah, I could sit here all day,’ I murmured, contentedly.
She smiled at me. ‘Feel free,’ she grinned.
Chapter 5
‘Do you come up here a lot?’ I asked, glancing over at Seren as she stared out at the view. It looked back upon not only the water and the bay, but also the hotel which Seren’s family owned.
‘Not as much as I’d like,’ she told me, ‘but I used to. This was my favourite spot to come and think. It’s so peaceful up here…and you don’t get many people around. I find it very cathartic. I just soak in the beauty of the bay and it reminds me just how fortunate I am.’
I nodded, feeling the same. ‘It’s wonderful. I think this is my new favourite place in the world.’
She smiled over at me. I glanced over and returned her smile, and a moment passed between us. She reached for my hand and laced her fingers through mine.
We both turned back to watch the waves of the sea lapping gently against the shore. I relaxed into the pleasure of the moment, feeling completely and utterly content in a way that I hadn’t felt in such a long time. It was bliss.
How long we sat there quietly watching the sea, I didn’t know. It seemed like an eternity. The sea air blew away all my worries and I drifted off into a world where the nature around me settled my nerves and calmed my senses. It was wonderful.
‘Peaceful,’ Seren murmured.
‘It is! ‘I exclaimed, looking over at her with a soft smile. ‘I can see why you love it here so much.’
She held my eyes. ‘It’s even better here with you,’ she murmured, silkily.
I returned her lovely smile and felt myself respond to her internally with a physical longing.
‘But I’m really enjoying getting to know you,’ she told me then. ‘So I won’t go there…’
‘You won’t?’
‘Not for now,’ she laughed.
‘Okay…so, what else do you want to know?’ I wondered.
‘Try everything…maybe start with childhood?’
‘Okay,’ I nodded, thinking. ‘Well, I grew up in a village near to Bournemouth. I was quite shy and quiet when I was young but always had good friends…’
‘Who did you grow up with?’ she wondered.
‘My parents divorced when I was a baby so I grew up with my mother. I have an older brother, David, who still lives near Bournemouth too. He’s married with two kids now.’
‘And your Mum?’ she asked.
‘Retired and still living in Bournemouth. I see her probably fortnightly. She re-married five years back to a really nice guy so she’s happy. She goes on her cruises and holidays and is living a nice retirement.’
‘That’s lovely. That’s what I’d like for Mum,’ she murmured.
I nodded. ‘It’s nice-and well deserved,’ I told her.
‘What about your history with relationships?’ she asked. ‘I’d love to hear more-I mean you’ve mentioned you’ve got a daughter…’
‘Yes!’ I exclaimed, smiling happily. ‘I actually have a son and a daughter,’ I told her.
‘Oh wow.’
‘Yeah. My son, Ethan, is twenty. He’s just about to go into his final year at Uni. Ella’s still home but like I told you, just about to go to Uni this year.’
‘So, you must have had kids young, like me, if they’re that age…I can’t place your age but I can’t imagine you’re much older than me?’
‘I’m thirty-nine,’ I told her.
‘Oh wow! I expected younger,’ she grinned.
‘How old are you, Seren?’
‘I’m forty,’ she revealed.
‘Ah okay…you look younger too.’
‘You flatterer, you!’ she laughed. ‘Anyway, that makes you…nineteen, when you had your son?’
I nodded. ‘Yes, that’s right. I was a late bloomer in life, and never really dated when I was a teenager. I didn’t know I was gay for a long time,’ I explained. ‘When I was eighteen and working a summer job at a holiday park, I met my children’s father. He was five years older than me, working as a deputy manager there and we hit it off. We had a summer romance, and I somehow fell pregnant. I didn’t want to have an abortion so I decided to go ahead. Jack and I became parents overnight and ended up in a sort of forced marriage because of our son. We both loved Ethan to bits, but we quickly realised that we weren’t destined to be together as a couple.’
‘Oh dear…’
‘No, it’s fine,’ I laughed. ‘Jack and I are still the best of friends to this day,’ I told her, ‘but that’s all it is. We both realised that we’re far better as friends than as a couple.’
‘So, did you marry him back then?’ she asked.
‘No, no,’ I said, shaking my head. ‘We never got married. We lived together for about…four years in all. We had Ella a few years after Ethan-almost as an attempt to keep it all together. When we realised that even that didn’t help, we decided to split…but co-parent the children.’
‘Did that work?’ she asked.
‘Yes, it has for many years. Jack didn’t want to be a weekend dad so we lived in the same house but independently for many years…until the kids were into double figures anyway…’
‘What changed that?’
‘Well,’ I sighed, ‘Jack finally met the woman he’s now married to. He fell in love basically and wanted to go and make a fresh start. I was really happy for him so it was time for him to move out. He married Trisha and they now have twin boys and a girl who are all under the age of ten. He’s going through parenting all over again while I’m not! We often joke about the fact he’s done it all twice.’
She smiled at me. ‘How great that you share such a good relationship with him-despite all the problems which could have occurred.’
‘I know. It helped when I realised the reason it wasn’t working for me…’ I told her.
‘What? Being gay?’ she questioned.
‘Yeah…’
‘How did you figure it out?’ she asked, curiously.
‘Well, I had suspected for years, if I’m honest. I’d always found certain other women attractive…even some friends over the years. It all came crashing down very clearly on one night out with friends when they thought it would be fun to go into one of the town’s gay bars. Anyway, I met someone and soon realised that I, most definitely, was a lesbian!’ she laughed.
‘Nice,’ she grinned. ‘And it was women from then?’
‘Yeah, absolutely…’
‘What about relationships? Have you had many?’ she asked.
‘A few. I mean, when the kids were young, I didn’t really date at all. I stayed home to care for them, and there was Jack in the background too so it just felt wrong to start something up then. The first woman I met was when the kids were about fourteen and sixteen. We were together for a few months but it wasn’t working out. I then dated a while, various women. Nothing ever became serious. Then I met Kate. She was the one who broke my heart recently.’
Seren nodded, slowly. ‘Yeah…and where are you now? With the whole dating, relationships thing?’
‘Well,’ I laughed, ‘I don’t really know,’ I chuckled, ‘because I told myself I absolutely did not want to meet anyone new-at least not ha
ve any kind of relationship…but then this happened,’ I said, indicating the two of us. ‘Meeting you has been…unexpected,’ I told her, holding her eyes and scanning her face to try and see what she was thinking.
‘It has absolutely been unexpected,’ she agreed. ‘And yet…’ she trailed off.
‘What?’
‘Well, and yet it’s been amazing,’ she told me, softly.
I smiled at her. ‘I know.’
‘I haven’t wanted to…I haven’t looked for anyone…any kind of relationship, at all,’ she told me. ‘And I know you’re just here on holiday this week…but it’s been incredible already…in more ways than just the physical-which, by the way-oh my God!’ she laughed.
I blushed and looked down, chuckling.
‘But, it’s so easy to talk to. It’s so nice to have someone to talk to like we have, Abby. I’ve needed this…’
‘Well, of course. You’re going through a rough time!’
She nodded. ‘I am,’ she agreed.
‘So, what about you, Seren? I know bits and pieces from what you’ve told me but not everything…’
‘Okay,’ she murmured, ‘well…I grew up here in Sunset Bay. My parents bought the hotel on the seafront and made it their life’s work to make something of the business. It’s now a huge success so they achieved what they set out to do.’
I smiled at her, nodding.
‘I was the opposite of you when you were little. I was loud, confident and always getting myself into mischief. Mum said I was like a little boy-always climbing trees and falling into and over stuff. The number of times she took me to a and e was a running joke,’ she laughed. ‘I guess I was just a tomboy.’
I laughed. ‘I can see that…you’re definitely the type.’