by Debra Holt
“I guess that walk up those stairs was a lot rougher than I thought it would be. Guess I need your help, Nurse Josie.”
She had been adamant that he listen to her and do as she told him and not overdo things. Now he was admitting he might need help after all. She could ignore him, and he would know that he was affecting her in ways he could certainly take advantage of. Or she could follow through and not let him get to her. Right.
Josie stepped closer to stand between his legs where they draped over the edge of the bed. Another vision of the last time they were in their bedroom popped into her mind, and she quickly popped it right back out. She reached out, hoping her hands didn’t appear as shaky as they felt. The metal of the buckle was cool to the touch. It was undone fairly quickly.
The zipper was next. Unfortunately, there was nothing cool about its feel…just the opposite. The heat from the bare skin of his flat stomach met fingers that weren’t steady any longer. Her tongue slid over her bottom lip in a totally nerve-driven reaction. Just keep things in perspective. She looked up and caught the amusement lurking as he watched her hesitation.
Flicking the button through the hole, her fingers closed over the metal zipper. She could feel the temperature rising quickly along her neck and across her cheeks as it was very apparent Chance’s lower body was quite awake. The zipper eased down and then her hands went to grasp the denim at his hips. With a determined jerk, she was none too gentle. She didn’t appreciate being the source of his amusement.
With an easy movement, he helped the material slide down his legs. Josie stepped away and jerked the covers of the bed down. “I think you can manage to get in the bed.”
She disappeared into the bathroom. Holding a paper cup under the faucet, she filled it. Then opening the pill bottle she had been given from the hospital pharmacy, she tapped out two tablets in her hand. Josie marched back to the bedroom, where Chance was reclining against the pillows, on top of the covers. She kept her mind centered on the matter at hand, and tried to not be distracted by the hard, tanned, male body that was almost naked, save for the black briefs.
Josie stopped at the side of the bed and held out her open palm with the two tablets. Chance eyed them.
“Those aren’t necessary. I don’t like being dependent on pills.”
“For now, they are. You’re going to do exactly what the doctor wants. Take them.”
“And if I don’t?”
“I’m not having this conversation again. I meant it when I said I would call Tom and take you right back to the hospital. Then they can stick needles in you and do whatever else they want, if it means you’ll behave and get better.”
Chance’s smile changed from being amused to one of gentle understanding. His hand reached for the pills, and he popped them into his mouth, took the paper cup, and emptied it of the water. Then, he swallowed. Josie went to turn away, but his hand caught her wrist, and she found herself hauled down until she was almost sitting on top of his lap. She managed to quickly turn and ended up against his side.
It didn’t help that his voice lowered to gentle tones that were undoing her resolve. “Look, Josie,” he began, obviously making an effort to choose his words. “I realize that, being in the hospital again, so soon after losing your mother there, brought back some things that hit you in a raw place. What you said about losing everyone…it hit home. This is just a bump on the head, and I’m going to be okay. You don’t need to worry about me.” The grin returned and caused her heart to flip flop against her chest. That and the slow circles being drawn on the flesh above her wrist by his thumb just above where his hand held hers. “You can’t get rid of me so easily. I intend to stick around for a long time…if that’s what you really want.”
“I thought you wanted to be rid of me? You didn’t want to be around any longer? Those papers downstairs on the table prove that.”
“Those papers prove that I will do whatever you need me to do to make sure you have what you want and are happy.”
“You did them for me and not for you?”
“Yes.” He seemed to want to say more but for some reason, he seemed to be having a bit of issue focusing his thoughts and words.
Josie saw that the pills were beginning to weave their magic on him. Unfortunately, it meant their discussion was about to be postponed…again. Just when she was finding her courage to ask him just what it was he really wanted from their relationship. Great.
“Lie down and be quiet now. The meds are taking over.” She stood, but he still had her wrist.
“Promise me that you’ll sleep next to me tonight? I might need you, Nurse Josie. Promise?”
How could anyone deny him anything? His eyes were heavy, but he was fighting to stay awake long enough for her reply.
“I promise. I’ll be right here all night.” She was rewarded with a smile that faded slowly, as he allowed his body to relax. Taking her hand back, she pulled the covers up and over Chance to his shoulders. She stood watching him for a few more minutes, relishing the fact that she could look upon him and not have to hide her feelings. Josie left the room then, making certain the house was secured and lights out downstairs. Then she made her way back upstairs and undressed, replacing her day clothes with a soft, blue cotton, eyelet, gown.
Quietly, she slipped under the covers of the big bed and turned on her side, her eyes seeking Chance’s sleeping face on the pillow beside her. Slowly, she reached out and laid her hand on his upper arm. The connection with him made her rest easier. Chance was home. She wasn’t going to lose him, at least not like she had her family. For now, that was all she could ask for.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Josie woke with a start. Her eyes open, she lay still under the covers. Her ears were tuned for other sounds. Or rather the lack of them. She sensed she was alone and that brought her upright in the bed, her gaze flying to the empty pillow beside her. Chance was not there.
Tossing back the covers, she swung out of bed and padded on bare feet over to the bathroom door. Listening, she heard nothing. There was no response to her soft knock, nor when she spoke his name. Her eyes lit on the fact that his boots were not next to the chair where she had placed them the previous evening. That meant he had them on.
Immediately, she headed toward the door of the bedroom, grabbing the crocheted throw off the quilt rack as she passed. She didn’t pause for shoes. That man was not where he was supposed to be, and if he had ventured out of the house, she was going to let him have more than a piece of her mind!
At the bottom of the stairs, she was just about to throw open the front door when she heard voices coming from the living room. She turned and hurried into the room, stopping just inside. Her eyes landed on the tall man with his back to the fire and a cup of coffee in his hand, while his other was stuffed inside a pocket of his jeans. Chance saw her the moment she entered, and a sheepish grin creased his face.
She advanced a few more steps into the room, and that was when she finally became aware that he was not alone. His ranch foreman, Clem Dawkins, and Tom were also standing in the room with him. Both men turned their attention in her direction, hats coming off their heads.
“Morning, Josie,” Tom spoke up.
“Morning, Mrs. Braxton,” Clem echoed.
“Good morning, gentlemen,” she returned, but her eyes stayed on Chance.
“I think we’re done here. Thanks for the updates, and thank the men for all the extra hours in the bad weather.” Chance clapped a hand on his foreman’s back as the pair turned to leave. They bid their goodbyes to Josie as they passed. She waited until she heard the click of the front door. She opened her mouth to speak, but Chance threw up a palm first and beat her to it.
“I’m okay. I feel fine. My head doesn’t throb any longer…just sore to the touch. I slept quite well, thank you, and I managed to make my own coffee this morning. I met with the boys over here this morning because I knew you would have my head and theirs if I dared go outside this house today. Which I have no
intention of doing. It’s just you and me and no interruptions today. Now, you can speak.” He lowered his palm, but then it quickly shot upward again.
“Just one more thing,” he added. Stepping forward, he leaned down and placed a quick kiss on her slightly parted, very much surprised mouth. “Good morning, Mrs. Braxton.”
It took a couple of blinks and some hasty brushing away of the morning fog of her brain to take in all he said right before the unexpected kiss. He definitely had caught her off guard.
“I might also suggest that, from now on, you might want to dress in something a little less alluring than your nightgown to come down for daily morning meetings. As much as I enjoy it, I would prefer that we just kept it for my eyes only.”
Josie glanced down at that moment and, while she would hardly refer to herself as alluring, her cheeks went crimson to think she had stood so nonchalantly in her nightgown and bright pink and white throw, without shoes, and probably with a crazy case of bed hair. Her only thought had been to find Chance and keep him from further injury to his head, and here he stood before her, looking far too good in his tight jeans, boots, and long-sleeved chambray shirt. He had obviously showered and even shaved.
There was a delicious hint of his cologne still filling her senses from when he had dropped the swift morning kiss on her lips. Added to all that was the fact he seemed to be in a particularly good mood for someone recuperating from such a blow to the head. Maybe that was the reason he was acting strangely? What if he were having some sort of relapse? Worry furrowed her brow as she looked at him.
“Are you certain you’re feeling better? Perhaps we should have the doctor just take a look at you to be on the safe side.”
“Josie, for the last time, just stop your worrying. I promise I am fine. However, you’ll be the one sick if you run around barefoot on these wooden floors.” Chance set his mug on the mantel before seating himself on the raised hearth, his hand patting the spot next to him. “Sit here and get warm in front of the fire. This is as good a place as any for us to talk.”
“I should probably go upstairs first and put some clothes on…in case anyone else stops by.”
“No one is stopping by and, if they do, I have instructed the guys working out in the corral to tell them that we are not available. But if you feel you must run away upstairs to find your courage, I’ll wait.” He folded his arms across his chest and stretched his long legs out in front of him. He was prepared to wait her out.
“I have never run away from anything or anyone. My courage level is just fine, too.” She gathered the throw around her shoulders as if it might be a royal robe and took her seat beside him.
“Good. Shall you go first, or shall I?”
“You’re the invalid here; perhaps you should begin.”
Chance slid a semi-warning look in her direction to not push it too far.
“First, I want to say thank you. You stepped in and took care of me, even when I might not have been the best patient.” She raised her fine brows at that statement, and he took note of it, but chose to continue. “Frankly, I’m not used to that…having someone worry about me and want to take care of me. If I seemed ungrateful or unappreciative, I wasn’t. It was just strange. But it was something that I could definitely get used to. I also know it was hard for you to be back at the hospital so soon again. I’m sorry I put you in that position.”
“Thank you,” she responded, losing some of the rigidity she felt when she first sat down beside him. Chance always had a way of getting around each defense mechanism she came up with over the years. “I admit I might have overreacted a little bit. You weren’t really that bad a patient. Besides, that’s what people do who…care…about each other. So… no thanks are really necessary.” She almost tripped up and said “love” but quickly managed to come up with another word.
“We were in the middle of an important conversation when we were interrupted a few days ago. Phillip Banks called me earlier and wanted to know what he should do with that paperwork today. I said I would have to call him back after you and I finished our discussion today.”
Josie felt her heart plummet to her feet. Chance was talking about the divorce papers. He said they would be filed today. She had tried to not think about them and recent events with Chance, and the accident had helped her do just that. It was evident that Chance was determined not to put it off any longer. There was too much pain in the center of her chest at the moment for her to think of something to say in response. She would let him do the talking since this was what he wanted.
Chance gave her a long look when she didn’t respond. He noted she didn’t meet his eyes but kept hers on the table in front of the couch. He cleared his throat and decided that it was now or never. “You surprised me when you told me about why you gave the money to Dev, so he could pay his debt. I had it figured that you were trying to help him because you still cared for him. If you still cared for him enough to do that, then I didn’t want to stand in the way of what would make you happy. I thought you wanted to be with him when he left.”
“I will always care for Dev. He was a big part of my life growing up. I admit I had a silly crush on him for a long time. However, when he came back here, and maybe even before that, when he never seemed to settle down and went through two quick engagements…well, maybe I realized the difference between a childish fantasy and reality. I can even feel sorry for him.”
“Your fantasies seemed pretty real to me when I had to change my shirts each time you dried your tears on them after he did something stupid.” Chance tried to make light of it, but Josie realized that she had indeed run to him more times than she could count.
“I’m sorry about that,” she replied softly. “I guess whenever Dev didn’t live up to my childish expectations, I felt like you would understand, and somehow I always felt better after unloading my heartbreak on your broad shoulders. You were always so patient, and you shouldn’t have been. You should have told me to get lost.”
“That wasn’t an option. I guess I figured sooner or later you would grow up and you wouldn’t need my shoulder any more. Whenever I thought about that, I didn’t care for the feeling I would get. I can’t remember when you weren’t around. And I have no idea what to do if that day were to ever come. I confess that made accepting your mother’s request a lot easier for me. I knew that I would at least have more time before I might have to watch you fall for someone else and not need me any longer. It sounds pathetic when I put it into words, but that’s the way of it.”
Josie looked up as his words stirred a faint flame of impossible hope inside her. Her eyes searched the dark ones watching her reaction with a solemn stillness. Her chest felt heavier, and it was harder to breathe. They were moving toward some unknown cliff, and she didn’t know what was beyond it.
“Is that why you insisted we get married?”
“I didn’t want anything being said that would hurt you…from any of the gossips in town. But I also hoped it would buy me even more time.”
“Time for what, Chance?”
His voice softened along with his gaze. “You want me to lay it all out for you. It’s times like this that I envy my brother his ability with the smooth lines and romantic stuff. That’s what females like. It’s what you deserve.”
“I don’t want a smooth line. You’ve always spoken straight with me, and that’s what I want now.”
His hand covered hers where they lay curled in her lap. The warmth moved through her in a comforting wave. Her gaze stayed steady on his.
“I realized a while back that I was jealous of my brother. I wanted to be the one who lit up your eyes when I came into view and be the one you fantasized about and dreamed of kissing. I wanted to be the one you gave your heart to. Because I also realized some time ago that, not only had you cut your teeth on my heart, but you stole it and carried it with you.”
“So, I decided that I had to be patient and wait for you to grow up and maybe you might see that there was a Braxton who
had loved you for years and would until the last breath left my body.” Two long fingers reached up and rested under her chin, the touch almost as reverent as one touching the most delicate china. Warm, dark, sapphire blue light poured over her face from eyes that held his heart for her to see. “I love you, Josie. I want to stay your husband for the next sixty years at least. I promise to do my best to make you happy every day we have together. The question is, do you think you could find room in your heart for me one day?”
The knot was huge that formed in her throat. Tears weren’t far off from her eyes that shimmered with moisture as she looked at the man who had always been there for her…just waiting. Josie slowly shook her head, hardly able to believe how much happiness could fill a person so fast that it seemed you could burst at the seams from it.
“I also realized some things over the last few months. I had blinders on for far too long where Dev was concerned. It was a girl’s crush…perhaps it was more the idea of Dev…as a dashing prince charming, who would sweep into my life now and then. But that wasn’t reality. Reality was totally different.
“I realized that, in every moment of my life…in the good times, but also in the worst of times, there was one constant. There was one person who was always there for just me. You gave me a shoulder for my tears, but you also knew when to give me a straight talking to and dust me off and tell me to get back to work. You were there to challenge me and to cheer me on. I took you for granted after a while, and that was wrong. As I grew up, I resented you. Because you were always right. You knew me better than I knew myself, and there were all sorts of feelings that I couldn’t understand.”
Josie took a breath. The man beside her deserved to know how she felt. He deserved so much more than she could put into words. “I wanted to prove to my parents and the other people in town that I could run this ranch. But I realized that it was really you that I wanted to prove to what I could do. Your opinion mattered. And, the more I fought you, it seemed the more I couldn’t imagine my life without you. And then, one day, the truth was right there. I can’t say that it happened in the blink of an eye. It happened over all the days of my life that you were in it. You gave me the strength to try and succeed, and you gave me understanding, and used so much patience, when anyone else would have walked away. You deserved so much more, and I didn’t know how to make you understand that it was you all along, you were the Braxton in my heart…the only one there ever has been.”