by Kris Jayne
I gripped her, reveling in the familiarity. I could smell her shampoo and the same soft lilac body cream she’d worn since she was sixteen. Of course, now, she was nearly grown.
I looked over her shoulder to the boy—technically, man, he was twenty-two—she’d brought home.
Avoiding specifics, all Kat said on the phone was that she had big news she wanted to tell me in person.
I pulled out of her embrace and held her hands, feeling around for signs of new jewelry. Yep. The ring was large, two carats, maybe more. A solitaire on her left ring finger.
“Do I still need you need to tell you the news? I see you’re already conducting an investigation,” she chuckled.
I swept a finger over her brow and pinched her cheek. “Congratulations, sweetie.”
The young man who it appeared was going to be marrying Katerina dragged their bags up to front stoop and stopped behind her.
“Mom, this is Adrian de Selva, my,” she paused and squealed, “my new fiancé.”
“Hello.” Although his accent said California beach, he looked every bit of the French ancestry Kat told me he had. Tall but narrowly built, he wore the skinniest trousers I’d ever seen.
I opened the door wide and ushered them in. He swept a kiss over Kat’s cheek as they entered. A tangle of emotions formed a knot in my throat. I could feel the tears starting and blinked them away.
“No tears yet, Mom.” Kat gave me a crooked smile and rolled her eyes. “We have months and months for crying.”
I laughed. “I know, I know. I’m happy for you, Kitty Kat.”
“Kitty Kat?” Adrian chuckled.
“She always called me that when I was little. But she doesn’t anymore because I’m an adult.” Her voice lowered to an embarrassed mumble.
“Be embarrassed all you like. I’m your mother, and that’s my job.” I poked her arm. “Nice to meet you finally, Adrian. Come here.” We shook hands, but I beckoned him closer and gave him a kiss on each cheek, then patted him on the back. Tension eased between his shoulder blades. He scored points for caring enough about Katerina to be nervous.
“We don’t need to stand here in the foyer. Take your bags to the spare bedroom,” I said.
The small house where I moved after the divorce had only three bedrooms, one of which I used as an office. The guest bedroom held Katerina’s old double bed, mirrored dresser, and armoire. A few pictures from her teen years dotted the wall. Terrence also took some of her memorabilia and decorated a room in his new home for her. After our divorce over a year ago, he and I split nearly everything fifty-fifty. The ease with which we said goodbye to one another was both a testament to our maturity and the lack of passion remaining in our marriage.
Sometimes, I wondered how I stayed married for twenty-one years, then I looked at Kat, and I knew. I got pregnant within the first year of marriage. From that point forward, everything Terrence and I did was for her. He was a tremendous dad—loving, responsible, and wise. I married him to fulfill my own paternal wishes through my children, and in the end, we only had the one. I discovered that what you want in a dad is not always what you need as a wife. Mama Warren used to say, “Fire in the blood’ll burn your house down.”
Keep your emotions in check. Don’t let passion run your life. Or ruin it? Come to think of it, she said it both ways.
Waiting for Katerina and Adrian to finish settling into the guest room, my mind wandered back to a few days ago when Griffin was over for Christmas. If Micah and Thomasina Warren had ever caught wind of my being so…loose, I would have been on the receiving end of a stern lecture from Papa and tearful prayers from Mama.
Absurd. I was a forty-four-year-old woman, not a wayward teenager. At my age, I could celebrate having passion in my blood. That was the whole point of getting divorced. I looked around my tidy kitchen and family room. No flames of ruin or hell or otherwise. I had scones and pastries from the neighborhood patisserie, chicken salad sandwiches, fresh tea and coffee, and my wedding china laid out on the kitchen table.
I grabbed my phone and snapped a photo to send Griffin. Even if he weren’t here to experience it, he would have a laugh at more evidence of goddess-like domesticity.
Griffin: You’re making me jealous.
Me: Why?
Griffin: I should be there eating your scones.
Me: I bought the scones.
Griffin: Bought? -3 Martha Stewart points
Me: Even a domestic goddess has her limits. I had too busy a day for baking.
Griffin: You’re right. +6 points for being a goddess full stop
Me: So what exactly is my score? And on what scale? I want to keep track
Griffin: Always the achiever
Me: I like goals
Griffin: Send me a goddess pic. Score 1000 pts
I took a smiling selfie in my hot pink cashmere sweater, careful to hold the camera high and give a little pout. I hit send, then cringed. Was that ridiculous? I felt ridiculous.
Griffin: Beautiful. I could go with more of a Grecian look though. Naked wrapped in sheet…
Me: That’s an in-person situation. My internet provider doesn’t need naked photos of me.
Griffin: True - naked pics of you would break the internet
Scorching titillation flooded my veins. I glanced over at the thermostat. No, the heat was not too high—at least not in the room.
Me: Change of topic… my daughter will be back in the room in a minute with her new fiance
Griffin: Wow! Tell her congratulations.
Me: I will.
I paused before finishing the text.
Me: I will. She wants to meet you.
I hit send, holding my breath.
Griffin: I can’t wait.
I exhaled.
Me: What are you up to today?
Griffin: I made pancakes with my sister and brother. Grace helped. Marisa left to see my dad. If all goes as planned, he’s checking out this morning.
Me: Good. You’re behaving then.
Griffin: I’m behaving. I’m not the one who misbehaves.
Me: The kids?
Griffin: No. We’ll talk when I get there. I have to go. A stack of pancakes just hit the floor. Call u later.
And before I could respond.
Griffin: I miss you. Save me a scone.
I grinned.
“What’s got you so happy?”
I jumped at the sound of Katerina’s voice and nearly dropped my phone.
“Nothing.” I set the phone on the counter. “Did you get settled?”
Her mouth screwed up to one side. “Nothing? Really?”
“Sit down. I have tea.” I turned and took a seat, gesturing to one of the other three chairs at my round kitchen table. Katerina followed and sat. I heard the water turn on and off in the guest bathroom, then the door opened in the hallway.
“I’ll let you skate for now, but I want to hear about this new boyfriend,” she whispered.
“I’m not sure boyfriend fits yet. It’s early, and he’s staying in Raleigh for a while. Anyway,” I redirected, “how was Christmas? I’m sorry I couldn’t make it out to California.”
Katerina smirked. “Sure you are.”
I ignored her. Adrian came into the kitchen and sat opposite me.
He looked over the pot of tea, quartered sandwich wedges, and baked goodies with cream and jam I’d set out. “This looks wonderful. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I thought you might be hungry. I was just asking Kat about your Christmas.”
Kat plucked up a mini-chocolate croissant. “We had a wonderful time. Adrian’s parents have a place in Malibu. It’s kind of strange to wake up on Christmas morning and stroll down the beach in flip flops, but I loved it.”
“You love California.” I shoved down my disappointment. I feared she would never come back to Texas.
“I do. It’s been good to me.” She cast a sideways glance at the boy—er, man—next to her. “But other than that, it was a regular Chris
tmas. We got up and exchanged gifts. Mr. and Mrs. De Selva loved the ceramic bowl you sent.”
“Wonderful!”
Kat showed me pictures of their beachy house, and it reminded me of a collection of pottery an artist friend produced for the shop she had in downtown McKinney—the next Dallas suburb over from where I lived. I bought one of her smaller pieces and shipped it to Kat as an introductory gift.
“That reminds me,” Adrian interjected. “My parents sent something for you.”
“They didn’t have to do that.”
He shrugged. “Oh, no, no, it’s just a little something.”
Adrian jumped up and went back to the spare room.
Kat leaned over, biting the edge of her lip. “What do you think? Isn’t he cute?”
“You two together are cute, which makes me happy. And he seems very considerate. You have to tell me about the proposal.”
Adrian returned with a package and grinned. “You tell it. She’s been excited to tell you.”
Katerina poured her tea and cupped the china in her hands. “It was on that walk on the beach on Christmas morning. We’d already opened our other gifts, and Adrian and I were walking. It was bright and sunny, and the waves were rolling in. We got to this small outcropping of rocks.
“And he just said, ‘Have a seat,’ and then sat down in front of me, and he said, ‘There’s one more gift I wanted to give you, and one big gift I was hoping you’d give to me. Would you be my wife?’ And I said, ‘Yes.’ It was simple and sweet and perfect. Kind of like Adrian.”
She giggled, and for all of her youth, she wasn’t the giggling type. Her face flushed with hope and romance. Adrian squeezed her arm and blushed. Katerina put down her tea and let him take her hand. He brushed his thumb over the shining diamond there, and they gripped each other’s fingers.
Seeing for sure that she was happy with her choice made me happy with her choice. I swallowed the lump gelling in my throat. “I said it already, but congratulations, I’m happy for both of you.”
Adrian beamed. “Thank you. I’m so glad to meet you finally, and your daughter makes me very happy.”
Kat turned her attention back to me. “We have to give you the gift.”
Adrian handed me a tall narrow bag that was bound to contain some sort of alcohol, and I reached inside to retrieve a heavy wine bottle. It was a white burgundy, and I didn’t speak French but could recognize the basics from the label. One word stood out: de Selva.
“Is this from a family vineyard?” I asked.
“Yes. My uncle runs it in Bourgogne.”
“This is very thoughtful. Thank you. I can’t wait to taste it.”
“I thought we could have it tonight with dinner,” Kat said.
I might have agreed, but a piece of me wanted to wait and taste it with Griffin. He was an aficionado and had an extensive wine room at his house. If we opened it tonight, it would be gone.
“Let’s wait until New Year’s when we have a special dinner.”
“Saving it for your man,” Kat quipped. Adrian smiled, holding his mouth tight to keep from laughing at his future mother-in-law.
“Saving it for a more special evening,” I replied. “Do you normally export to the United States? I’m wondering if I can get your family’s wine at our local store.”
“We don’t have wide distribution, but if you have a favorite wine shop, you could order it. We can also ship you a case, if you like it. We have a white and a red burgundy, but the white is what we’re known for.”
I stood and slipped the bottle into the small wine rack next to my kitchen island and returned to the table.
“We were hoping to have the wedding there,” Katerina said. Her eyes melted into a soft gaze at talk of having her wedding in France.
“That sounds beautiful,” I said, grinning.
“Doesn’t it, though?” she beamed.
Adrian swiveled his teacup on its saucer. “The vineyard has a tasting room and another room for events. It could hold maybe...seventy or eighty people. I will have to ask my uncle. He runs the business.”
Kat’s dreamy grin turned to a pout. “Still, we’re not sure about making everybody go that far. It’s a lot to ask people to fly to France. I don’t want our family to feel excluded.”
“The wedding will be smaller, but that can be okay. It’ll be more intimate, and if there are people you want there who can’t afford it, your father and I can help,” I promised. “If France is what you want, we can make it happen.”
“Are you sure? I didn’t want to ask for that much money.” Her face crunched again, uncertain but full of hope.
“I’m sure we could work it out. I mean, the wedding’s not going to be until after your graduation next year, so people also have a whole year to plan.” My mind raced with ideas, and I longed to grab my notebook and start making a timeline. Instead, I reminded myself that this was Kat’s wedding—not mine. “Have you thought about a specific date?” I asked.
“Actually, Mom,” her voice teetered on the edge of a cliff, and tension crept up my legs. She only made those sounds when she was trying to figure out how to tell me something I didn’t want to hear.
Kat glanced at Adrian, and he gave her a small nod to continue. “We were thinking we’d get married this summer.”
“Before you finish school?” I held my breath to keep from screaming the question.
“I’m still going to finish school, Mom. Don’t worry. I’ll just be married for the last year. Adrian already has a job lined up after his graduation this May. We’ll get an apartment together, and I’ll finish school. Then, we’ll decide what we’re going to do.”
“Why not just wait until you’re completely done?”
Adrian seemed lovely, but I didn’t want to get into everything I needed to tell my daughter in front of him. What if marriage and taking care of Adrian and helping him get started in his career distracted her? Or what if, God forbid, she got pregnant?
Yes, it was only one more year, but I’d seen more girls throw away their goals for boys and dating and chasing a ring. Their aspirations went out the window, and everything redirected toward the man and their children. Hell, that’s what happened to me. I didn’t want that for Katerina—jumping the gun and getting married before she graduated from college just…
I shivered.
Kat launched into her opening arguments. “Why would I wait? I already know what I want. This doesn’t change anything. I mean, if we didn’t get married, we’d live together. I figured this way would make you happier since we’d be married.”
Yes, of course, marriage was better, right? Except I might actually feel better if she lived in sin. At least then I know she’d be extra careful not to get pregnant. Or maybe that was my own twisted thinking. You get married, and you start nesting.
“I don’t want anything to sidetrack you.”
Kat’s face stilled. “You mean the way getting pregnant sidetracked you. I know how not to get pregnant, Mom. I’m already not getting pregnant.”
I wrinkled my nose and avoided looking at Adrian. “That’s not information I need to get into with you.”
Her cheeks flushed bronze. “But it’s what you’re thinking. You got pregnant right away after you married Dad, and there are all sorts of things that you didn’t do because you were taking care of him and taking care of me.”
I grabbed her hand. “I loved taking care of you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I don’t regret it.”
Kat’s mouth pinched.
I continued. “I love you, you know that.”
“I know you do, but you’ve always said to make sure that I stay focused on my goals and not let relationships get in the way. I know what that means, Mom.”
Adrian cleared his throat. “I won’t stand between Katerina and her dreams. I want her to do everything she wants to do with her life. I just want to be there while she does it.”
Kat kept pressing. “We want to get married as soon as possible
.”
They were both saying all the things a parent would want to hear. But still. Nowhere in my vision for Katerina was getting married before she even finished college.
“You make it sound so simple, Kat. Life has a way of changing your plans.”
“Exactly, I met Adrian. Plans changed.” She lifted her chin and glared at me, mirroring my own obstinance. “Not everything has to follow a script. You and Dad are so rigid.”
“Maybe I should let you guys talk.” Adrian stood up.
“No,” Kat chirped. “Anything she has to say to me, she can say to you.”
“Katerina, it’s okay. You and your mom should talk. I’ll finish our unpacking.” He leaned down and kissed her cheek, then grabbed his teacup and another scone. “I’ll take this with me if that’s okay.”
I nodded. “Thank you.”
He left, and Kat barely contained her rage. “Do you really think you can corner me alone and change my mind?”
“Of course not. He volunteered to leave. I think he knows that you and I need to talk this out.” I took a deep breath. “I only want what’s best for you.”
“That’s Adrian. He’s considerate and thoughtful and respectful.”
“Maybe.”
“No, not maybe. That’s Adrian.”
I held up a hand. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Then, what did you mean?”
“Look, I just met him, but I actually like him. He seems like a wonderful b—er, man. I’d just like to see you finish one stage of your life before you start another. That’s all. Stay focused.” I shook my index finger at her, feeling every inch my grandmother when I did.
“When have I ever lacked focus, Mother?”
Oh, now, I knew she was pissed. “Never. That’s why I don’t understand this rush to get married. Have you mentioned this to your father?”
She nibbled at her bottom lip. “I was going to tell him when we saw him at our New Year’s Day brunch.”
“You’re going to casually slip in the news over mimosas with your grandmother sitting there?”