by Izzy Hunter
“It doesn't look like I'm going anywhere at the moment,” she replied.
By the time he reached the end of the road and turned into Wallander Street, Douglas was knackered. This was ridiculous. He would have to take up running again.
He eyed each car, looking for the tired-looking metro. “Where are you?” he asked, phone still clutched to the side of his head.
“I can see you,” Alice answered. “I'm behind this blue van.”
Seconds later, Douglas slid into the passenger seat, pushing his suitcase through the gap to the back seat.
“Get in, why don't you?” Alice deadpanned.
“Sorry, but I don't have much time. Would you be able to drop me off at the train station?”
“Oh, I don't know about -”
“I'll pay you. Twenty quid enough?”
“Make it fifty and you've got a deal.”
“Fifty? The stations not that far away,” said Douglas, as Alice manouevered them out of the queue and turned onto the opposite lane, to a few toots from other cars.
“Walk, then. Fifty is perfectly valid, especially if it's money you can't spend on her.”
“Fine,” said Douglas, remembering to clamp his seatbelt. “Fifty, it is. Begrudgingly given, though.”
“So, why did you call?” Alice asked as they moved along the street, away from the line of stationary traffic.
Douglas had every intention of telling her a little white lie, but found himself speaking the truth instead. “I didn’t. My phone did. I must have hit your number after I hung up on the taxi cab. They’re right above you in my Contacts: Alec’s Cabs.”
“You put my number in your phone?” asked Alice, giving him an odd look.
“No,” he said, lying now. “It was in my caller history. Does your car usually make that sound?” he asked, thankful enough for the opportunity to change the subject but rather worried at the churning noise coming from beneath them.
“Yes, but only when it’s about to fall apart,” said Alice, frowning. “I think I’m going to have to go to a garage.”
“But I need to get to the station,” protested Douglas, realising he was sounding petulant. “Fifty quid, remember?”
“I can take you afterwards. It probably won’t take that long. It’s probably something easily fixable.”
God, he should have stuck with public transport after all. He had less than half an hour now until the train left. “I’ll walk,” he told her. “Just let me off here,” he added, as they turned off the main road.
“Nuh-uh,” Alice replied, picking up speed a little. “You still haven’t told me why you’re in a rush to get to the train station.”
“Look, don’t be offended, but it’s nothing to do with you,” Douglas said, hoping that the train would be like every other train in the UK and be running late.
“Well now, I think it might. For instance, my estranged wanker of a husband left last night for a week-long trip to the regional offices, culminating up in Scotland. I’m assume the evil bitch queen from hell - sorry, your wife - has gone, too. And I assume you’ve decided to go after her to either catch them in the act or confront them. Am I right?”
Damn, she was good. “Full marks,” he said. “As for confronting or catching them, I haven’t decided yet. Hang on, they're not going straight up to Edinburgh?”
“Maybe Eve is, but Ben definitely said a group of them were visiting Liverpool, Durham and then Edinburgh.”
Douglas looked out the window. “Damn,” he said softly. Now he thought about it, Durham - and Liverpool, for that matter - had come up in conversation a few times recently, but he didn't realise she was planning to visit the place. He tended to switch off a little when she talked about her job.
An hour later, they were sitting in a greasy spoon cafe, sipping a cup of tea each. Alice had left the car in the garage (“the head mechanic is my brother-in-law, he usually sorts it asap”) and declared she would drive him up to Scotland, herself. Douglas laughed in her face, then felt a bit mean. She couldn’t possibly drive hundreds of miles, and in a knackered car. He would just get another train, arrive a bit later than planned.
“It’ll be like a road trip,” she was explaining. “A messed-up, weird road trip, admittedly. Look, I’ll lay the cards on the table. I want to see Ben’s face when he’s confronted by his lover’s husband. I know it’s not what you want to hear. I know it’s selfish of me. But you know what? You’re not the only injured party in all of this.” She looked away. Douglas could see the pain in her face, the same pain he was feeling.
Part of him. The reckless, hurt part thought why not? Why not have them both confront their cheating spouses together? Double trouble. The careful, logical part, though, considered this: what if this was all a misunderstanding? What if what he had seen the other night had been a drunk fumble, and nothing more? Christ, how many drunken fumbles had he had in his life? Granted, since he’d married Eve, he’d been well-behaved, but it did happen. Eve was probably embarrassed enough, without Douglas overreacting.
“Oh god,” he said, and laid his head down on the table. “I’m so confused.”
“Like you said before,” Alice went on, “you need to see for yourself, so then you’ll know for sure. So why don’t we go up to Scotland, and stake them out... That is the right word, isn’t it? Stake? Sounds like we’re going to get all Van Helsing on their arses.”
Douglas watched Alice as she imbibed more of her fruit tea. Could he really spend any amount of time with this woman? She seemed... He didn’t want to say unhinged, but he knew she wasn’t coping with the possibly adultery (and it was only a possibility until Douglas could say otherwise with all certainty). He realised the only thing he knew about her was she was married, believed her husband was an adulterer and had a clapped-out car.
“Listen,” he said, adopting a softer tone. “Do you have anyone to talk to about this? About Ben?”
“Nope,” she said, a little too breezily. “Everyone warned me about him. But I wouldn’t listen. I liked that he was charismatic, flirty, naughty.”
She could have been describing Douglas, pre-marriage. A mix of age, and believing that this third marriage would be his last, had seen him stop his ladies-man ways. Or at least curb them to an extent that his friends thought there was something wrong with him when he refrained from chatting up any attractive woman in the vicinity. He never imagined he would ever be entertaining the possibility that Eve would cheat on him. Was that egotistical? Especially when he had cheated on his first wife; though it turned out she had been cheating on him, too. They had simply married too young, both being nineteen, and had separated on amicable terms two years later.
If this was karma finally catching up with him, it was the proverbial bitch.
"I was sick of doing stuff to please other people," Alice went on. "So I suppose I married him partly because I knew how displeased people would be. That, and because I did love him, despite his faults."
"No one's perfect. Not even Mary Poppins," said Douglas. "Look, Scotland is a long way away. Join me if you must but I can't expect you to drive all the way up there." He didn't add that he had little confidence her car could make even to the border before falling apart.
"I'm a big girl, you know, and I have been driving for over ten years. I mean, if you can help with petrol money, that would be great. Anyway, you can't beat seeing the English scenery at a slower pace than a train."
"Well, Scottish once we hit Coldstream," corrected Douglas.
Alice smiled. "So that's a yes, then?"
Douglas exhaled wearily. "Oh, why the hell not?"
Alice raised a hand in a high-five gesture. Douglas didn't return it.
SCENE
It was after one o'clock when Alice drove them back to her flat so she could chuck some stuff in a suitcase. During the drive over, Douglas called Eve to casually find out her itinerary for the week. Alice had to bite her tongue when she heard Eve's tinny voice coming from Douglas's phone.
&nbs
p; “Yup,” he said, after ending the call. “Same schedule - Liverpool, Durham, then up to Scotland.”
“How convenient.”
“It makes sense if they're part of a team,” Douglas said.
“Yeah, they're part of a team alright. Team Adulterous Bastards.”
She was a little embarrassed, if she was being honest when she opened the door to the flat. She'd only be living there for a matter of weeks, and it had been a bit of a rush to move her stuff out of the apartment she and Ben had shared. But, still, it looked like she had just dumped boxes in each room to gather dust. This was the first time anyone else had been in the flat, and she regretted not telling Douglas to stay in the car while she popped inside.
“Sorry about the mess.” The apology came automatically while they were still in the long, narrow hallway. “Just wait here. I won't take long.”
Douglas shrugged. “Okay,” he said, his eyes already taking in the tired floral wallpaper and cheap pine desk that housed a still-unopened box and an old landline phone.
Satisfied the hallway was the only thing he could judge, Alice hurried down the hallway and disappeared into the room at the end, closing the door behind her.
First she opened the wardrobe to choose from the clothes she had bothered to take out of the pile of bin bags in the corner of the room. She didn't need anything fancy, so jeans and sweaters would do. Her holdall sat underneath the bed, full of bits and bobs. She opened it, emptied the contents onto the unmade bed and started filling it with the chosen clothes.
When she was shoving a pair of pyjamas into the already-full bag, she heard the toilet flush. She hurried to finish and left the room just as Douglas was walking into the living room to her left.
“I know it's a mess,” she said defensively, following him in.
Douglas looked around. “Just like every other recently moved into place. It took me two years to eventually de-box everything. And less than two months later, I moved out again.”
Alice felt a little better after that. “Your place is gorgeous, by the way.”
“Oh, that's all Eve's doing. She's the interior designer of the two of us.”
“I've changed my mind. It's a dump,” She said, without missing a beat.
Douglas smiled wryly. “Shall we get going? I know Liverpool isn't as far as Scotland, but I do want to get there before the last second of recorded time.”
Alice rounded on him. “Has anyone ever told you you're very sarky?” She asked with a smile.
“Constantly. So shall we?”
It was when they were making their way out of the city that the possibility of hotels was first mentioned.
“What do you mean a room?” Alice asked, bemused.
“I meant two rooms, obviously,” said Douglas hurriedly, just in case she started suggesting they hook up again.
“I doubt we'll need to stay that long. As soon as they meet up, they'll be jumping each other's bones.”
“You have such a way with words.”
“I sure do. Want me to describe your wife?”
“No thank you.”
“Talking of hotel rooms, which one is Eve staying in? I'll just assume Ben will be in the same one.”
“Oh, I don't know. I didn't ask.”
He didn't like the look Alice was giving him.
“So what was your plan? Go to every single hotel in the city until you found her?”
“No, I was going to go to her office. Well, the one she's visiting.” Even as he said the words outloud he knew it sounded stupid. He waited for Alice to call him names, something other than tarmac this time, but she just shook her head and concentrated on the road.
However, it struck Douglas that they really needed to know where they were heading than just Liverpool. He held up his phone and dialed Eve's number.
She sounded a little impatient this time. "Douglas, what is it? I'm trying to make my way through the Lime Street Station. Yes, excuse me."
"Sorry, sweetheart. I forgot to ask which hotel you're staying at."
"You phoned me up just to ask that?" She said, exasperated. "It's The Merchant's Hotel, on Picadilly Street, if you must know. Now, can I please get out of this station in one piece? It's heaving, and I really need both hands here."
"Of course, of course. Sorry, darling. I'll speak to you later. Bye-bye."
He looked across at Alice and told her the name of the hotel. "She sounded a bit ratty."
"You were probably interrupting them both," Alice muttered.
"So do I book a room at The Merchant's Hotel?" he asked.
"Two rooms."
"Do I book two rooms at The Merchant's Hotel?"
Alice sighed then shrugged. "I suppose so. We don't know when they'd get back."
"God, this was a mistake, wasn't it? We're going to Liverpool, possibly Durham and Edinburgh without a clue what we're doing." He leant back in his seat and looked out the window as the city gave way to surburbia. Identi-kit houses left behind as they drove onwards.
"Look on it as an adventure," Alice told him.
"An adventure? Yes, an awfully big adventure to discover if we're being taken for fools.”
“If you're being taken for a fool, you mean,” corrected Alice. “I dropped out of Fool School ages ago.”
“ You do realise you said that with such a smug look, don't you?”
“Oh yes.”
Alice switched the radio on to the local station who were playing a mega-mix of 70s songs. Douglas relaxed back in his seat and stared out the window. He didn't want to think about what he was doing. How crazy the thing which he was doing was. Instead, he closed his eyes and listened to Freddie Mercury's love song to the radio. The music took him back to carefree days. Pre-mortgage, pre-middle-age-spread, pre-wives...
"Douglas. Douglas, we're here."
He blinked, finding his head leaning against the window. He wiped a small bit of drool from the corner of his mouth. "How long was I asleep?"
"About twenty minutes."
He frowned. "Why have we stopped here? This isn't Liverpool."
"Not unless it's been reduced to a roadside cafe." Alice remarked, undoing her seatbelt.
He stretched his arms as best he could in the confines of the car. “It's alright. I'll stay here if you want to grab yourself something.”
“You'd best come with me. I'm going to have some lunch.”
“On the go, surely? Liverpool is only a couple of hours drive.”
“Then all the more reason not to rush. We've got plenty of time. Come on.”
Now she had mentioned lunch, Douglas felt his stomach groan. He hadn't eaten anything since last night, and he supposed he ought to get some energy for what lay ahead.
As he followed her into the cafe opposite a small petrol station, its forecourt empty of any vehicles, Douglas mused if Alice had a penchant for such places. He barely knew her but this would be the third cafe they'd went to together.
[D mentions booking into a hotel. A tells him there will be no need as they will prob catch E and B in Liverpool.]
● It takes about 8.5 hours to get from Canterbury (where Douglas and Alice live, maybe) to Edinburgh. Alice only drives until she is tired. It later turns out this is because her mother died in a crash after driving when tired. Douglas doesn't find out later until a heart to heart with Alice.
● Ben, Eve and some other colleagues visit their regional offices during that week, so Douglas and Alice follow them. The offices include Liverpool, Durham, etc, and culminating in a networking event in Edinburgh.
● Near the end, D realises what he wants. Eve comes home from work and asks how his day has been. He says he has been thinking about karma and that he can't trust her anymore, which is not fair on either of them.
SCENE
Alice came to the end of the magazine she'd bought at the little shop across the road, but she wouldn't be able to recollect the contents of any of the articles. She was too preoccupied worrying about Douglas. What had started ou
t as reluctance at catching his wife with Ben - or any other man, for that instant - had become a steely determination. He was just causing too much pain for himself. He should have confronted Eve when he'd seen her kiss Ben. Now he was basically stalking her. It wasn't healthy.
She heard the toilet flush and the older man emerged from the bathroom, wiping his hands on his trousers.
"Hungry?" Alice asked. They hadn't eaten since the morning where they'd filled their plates with the hotel's breakfast buffet.
"I'll grab something later," said Douglas, "at the party. And you can stop rolling your eyes. I've made up my mind."
"What good will it do?" Alice asked, looking directly at him. "So you find them together. Will it make you feel any better?"
"Hardly," said Douglas, perching on the edge of the bed. He stared across at the window overlooking the town. "I just need to know for sure."
"It'll break your heart."
"I know," he said, wearily. "I know."
Alice shook her head. "You'd better get ready then," she muttered, and went to read the magazine again.
Half an hour later, Alice had given up on the magazine after the third attempt of trying to read it instead of thinking about Douglas, and was watching a quiz show on one of the BBC channels. The show was getting as much of Alice's attention as the magazine had. She was debating whether or not to go with Douglas to the party, if only to keep an eye on him. If he did find Eve and Ben together, she didn't know how the poor man would react.
There came a soft tap at the door, then Douglas walked in. Alice did a double-take, then felt embarrassed about it. She didn't know if he'd bought it since they'd arrived or if he'd brought it with him, but Douglas was now dressed in a smart black tuxedo; the tie lying undone around his neck. Damn, he scrubbed up well. And damn her for noticing.
"Hello," he said with a sad smile, aware of the negativity when they last spoke. "How do I look?"
"You look -" Alice wanted to say hot. She always found men in tuxedos attractive; maybe it was the Bond effect. "You look nice."
"Not like scared tarmac?" He asked, a hint of a smile playing on his lips.