Tears streaked down her cheeks as she drove to the cemetery. She wished she could claim they were tears for her deceased husband.
“A little fight with the little woman?” Sheryl asked.
Jag whirled on her. “Stay away from me,” he muttered, pushing past her and hurrying toward the lodge.
“Is that the statement you want me to print when your career already seems a little shaky?” Sheryl called. “Or do you want me to tell everyone that your fiancée is a gold digger who hugs you one minute and screams at you the next? She seems a little unstable.”
Jag stormed back to her. If a man had said that, he could and would knock the guy on his butt. With Sheryl, he had to be smart and use other weapons. “You dare share anything unsavory about her, and I will hire a private investigator to dig up dirt on you and make sure your name is laughed at in literary circles.”
Sheryl shrank back from him. It would probably be easy to find mud on such a slimy creature. He couldn’t believe he’d ever thought she was attractive.
Turning, he stalked away from her. Sheryl had ruined another near kiss with Faith. Worse, Faith had gotten all upset with him again. He’d admit that he shouldn’t have let her go years ago; he should’ve pursued her harder. But how could she claim he’d written her off when it was the other way around?
He hurried into the lodge. He needed to shower and find his family. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve, and he wanted to be with them. If only he could have Faith with him as well.
Chapter Five
Faith was shaking by the time she reached the cemetery twenty minutes away in Vail. She couldn’t lie to herself and say she didn’t love Jag anymore. She loved him so much that she wanted to spin her car around and go track him down, kiss him, and beg him to talk through the past ten years of pain and separation. The only thing keeping her from doing exactly that was the letter in her purse. She had to read it. She had to give Blaine at least that much. He’d been good to her, and she hated that she’d married him because of how much he loved her, how persistent he’d been, and how lonely and miserable she’d been with no hope of Jag ever coming back into her life.
Parking on the strip of asphalt a hundred yards from Blaine’s grave, she pulled the letter out but left her purse, phone, and keys in the car. No one would bother her here. She sank almost up to her knees in the snow as she made her way to the grave. Her stylish ankle boots were no match for the cold, especially when snow fell down in them. She burrowed her face deeper into her coat and kept moving.
After she read the letter, she’d go have a proper cry at home in front of the fireplace with some cocoa. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve, and being around her large, loud family was exactly what she needed. She suspected that after reading the letter tonight, she’d just want to be alone.
Finally, she reached the grave. Her eyes traced over the engraving on the large gray marble headstone: Blaine Richard Grainger. May 20, 1993 – December 23, 2019. Beloved husband, brother, and son.
That was it. It was simple. Faith had wanted to put some personalized details on it, but his dad was a very stern man and he preferred it clean and “classy.” Faith didn’t fight him, knowing that his dad, stepmom, and half-sisters grieved him much more than she did. At moments like this, the guilt of not loving her husband like he’d loved her almost overwhelmed her.
She was freezing, so she figured she might as well get on with it. She broke the seal on the envelope and slid the letter out. Her fingers were trembling, partly from the cold, mostly from the worry about what the letter might contain.
She pulled it out and realized something before she even started reading. She’d never read a handwritten anything from Blaine. He always had joked that everything was online, and why would you write when you could type? She’d seen his signature but never his script. It looked oddly familiar, though, probably because she knew him so well.
Dear Faith,
If you’re reading this, it means I’ve been gone for a year. The news of my brain tumor scared me today, petrified really. To know that I had a matter of days or weeks to be with you and then I’d have to leave you behind … I love you so desperately that the thought of being without you feels like somebody has already ripped my heart out.
Faith looked out over the frozen cemetery. She hated that she’d never felt that depth for Blaine, not even close. She’d thought of him as a best friend and had tried for years to convince him that he deserved someone who loved him as much as he loved her, but he always affirmed that he wasn’t worthy of her and loved her enough for both of them. Her heart ached at his loss—not just because he’d died, but also because she often felt like he’d wasted his life being so devoted to her when no matter how she tried, she could never fully return the feeling.
I’m not afraid to go to heaven. I feel ready to meet my maker, and my conscience is clear. Except for one thing.
Her interest perked up. The ever-perfect Blaine had done something wrong? He was always smart, deliberate, and straight as an arrow. She’d never even heard him say a curse word.
Do you remember when Jag left for the Patriot Academy? Of course you remember. You loved Jag almost as much as I love you.
Wow. Once Jag left town, Blaine had wanted to deny that Jag ever existed. Now she was more than intrigued; she was excited and scared to read what he had to tell her. His conscience was pricked because of something he’d done to his old friend?
You know I’ve loved you since I was twelve, so what I’m about to tell you might not come as a surprise. The night at the rink that you found out Jag was leaving and you let me hug you … That day I knew we were meant to be together and I’d do anything to make you mine. I pray you’ll forgive me for what I did.
Faith’s stomach tumbled, and her trembling fingers paradoxically felt stiff.
When I found out Jag couldn’t have any electronics at prep school, couldn’t text or call you except for at Christmas, spring break, and summer break, I saw my opportunity. I did something … underhanded. I intercepted the letters.
Now her heart was racing faster than her eyes were devouring the letter.
I had a friend who worked at the post office sorting mail. I paid him to take all of Jag’s letters before you got them and intercept yours before they went out. Then I wrote the letter from Jag, the one where he dumped you, sealed it back in his own envelope, and snuck it into your mailbox. Then, if you’ll remember, you confided in me that he’d dumped you and you were such a mess. I waited for you to write him off, and then I told you I’d get the letter to the post office. I took it and altered it so it would look like you were dumping him. That was harder, imitating your handwriting.
Faith’s entire body was shaking. She could hardly believe this. How could Blaine be so underhanded and sneaky? How could he lie and deceive her about the most important thing in her life, all for his own gain? How could he ruin almost ten years of her life? In those ten years, she’d found things to be happy about, relying on her faith and her love for her family to get her through, but the time apart from Jag had been torture. She’d ached for Jag, but she’d also been ticked at him for dumping her so coldly. Blaine had claimed to love her, but this wasn’t love. It was manipulation, and it was horrible.
I’m so sorry, Faith. I know you’ll be furious, and I don’t blame you. My only excuse is that I was an eighteen-year-old kid in love with the most beautiful angel I’d ever known, and I knew I didn’t have a chance of winning you away from Jag. As the years went by, I talked myself into believing I’d done the best thing for you, you wouldn’t have liked leaving the valley or dealing with Jag’s famous lifestyle, and I was much more devoted to you than he could ever be. I pushed what I’d done from my mind and focused on what I was meant to do: love you. I pray you’ll forgive me, and I pray you’ll know that I did love you with all my heart. This past year has been the happiest, most amazing time, far better than I had even dreamt it could be, being close to you and loving you. I’d be nothing without you. I adore you.
Love forever,
Blaine
Faith realized she was tearing the edges of the letter from holding it so tightly. She forced herself to release her grip, jam it back in the envelope, and stomp her way through the snow back to the car. All she wanted was to be warm and safe. Tears slid down her face. She’d trusted Blaine and committed herself to him because he loved her so much. Instead, he had betrayed her.
Maybe she could understand the teenage kid scheming up the letter-switching and breaking up his two friends so he could be with the girl he wanted. Yet they’d been close friends all those years, she’d dated him during his breaks from college and more seriously after he graduated from law school, and she had let him talk her into marrying him. At some point, she would’ve thought the mature, even-keeled, kind Blaine would’ve wanted to rectify his mistake. He hadn’t even wanted her to know what he’d done before he died. He’d wanted her to wait a year.
Her mind was scrambling and twisting, and her entire body felt both numb and in pain at the same time. She slid into the car, twisted the key, and then just sat there as the car warmed up. Her head settled against the headrest. She didn’t want to go home. She didn’t want to be around the memories of Blaine. Not right now. She knew he’d loved her, in his own twisted way, but a love based on deception like this wasn’t really love and for sure wasn’t a healthy relationship. Not that they’d ever had a healthy relationship as she’d always tried to bury deep the fact that she was still in love with Jag.
Jag. He’d claimed she’d broken his heart. Oh my! She put a hand over her mouth, and her stomach pitched. He would believe she broke his heart; Blaine had rewritten their letters, so Jag got dumped just like she did. Resolve and vengeance rushed through her. Blaine had done all this because he’d talked himself into believing it was better for her. What about her chances for love with Jag, the man she’d always longed for? Blaine’s love was selfish, only focused on what he wanted. Jag deserved to know the truth. He deserved to know it right now.
Jamming the car into gear, she hurried out of the cemetery and down the side road until she got to the main road that headed out of the valley. She had to find Jag, and she had to tell him the truth. Who knew what would happen then? A swarm of butterflies invaded her stomach. If she knew Jag at all, he wouldn’t hesitate to show her exactly how much he cared. Excitement filled her entire body. She was done feeling guilty about what she’d assumed was misplaced love for Jag. Her feelings for him were pure and right, and she’d known that inside all along. That was why she’d never been able to let him go. Now if only her old car would drive faster so she could find him.
Faith hurried up the steps and into the main lodge of the ski resort. It was beautiful with windows overlooking the valley and the resort. There were a myriad of Christmas decorations brightening the place, as well as several smaller trees and one grand tree tall enough to reach the open section of the second story.
She hurried to the front desk girl. “Hi. I’m Faith Gra— … Summers.” She was dumping that last name now. Hot anger was still tracing through her at Blaine’s deception. She wasn’t sure how he could’ve lived with himself, lived with the lies, for so many years. “I need to know what room Jag Parros is staying in.”
The girl’s neatly penciled eyebrows rose. “I can’t tell you that, ma’am.”
“I work here. In the spa.” Faith tilted her head and forced a smile. “So you can tell me.”
“No, I can’t.”
Faith’s frustration was already boiling just under the surface, and she was likely to explode. “You can, and you will.” She leaned closer and wondered if she looked threatening enough, because she definitely should. She’d watched enough hockey to know how to win in a fight. “Call Gavin Strong. Ask your boss if you should give me the room number.”
The girl blinked quickly. “I’m not bothering Mr. Strong. He’s with his family today.”
“Call him,” Faith said; her voice was almost taunting. “If you don’t, he’ll fire you for not helping me.” She jutted out her chin, praying it was true. Heath and Nick Strong were a year older and younger than her, respectively, and she didn’t know the oldest brother, Gavin, that well. He seemed like a nice guy, though, and she hoped she wasn’t the one who’d get fired for this. She loved her job and the spa.
The girl stared at her, as if calling her bluff. Finally, she muttered. “I won’t do it. I will not bother Mr. Strong, and I will not give out guest information to anyone, unless you have a warrant or are a police officer.”
Faith’s determination leaked out. She felt like she’d been wrung through the spin cycle today, and now, when she finally knew the truth and knew what she wanted, she couldn’t find Jag. Her heart cried for him.
She leaned heavily against the desk and couldn’t fight it when tears slowly pricked at her eyelids and then traced down her cheeks. Luckily, no one was waiting behind her for the front desk, but there were people coming in and out of the front door, the restaurant, and down the stairs or out of the elevator. She glanced around for that redhead reporter but couldn’t see her. Wouldn’t the woman love this?
“Please,” Faith murmured, staring into the girl’s blue eyes. “I’ve had the worst day you can imagine. My husband died a year ago.”
“Oh, I am sorry.”
“Thank you.” She took a deep breath. As little as she wanted to share this with some stranger, she knew she needed something convincing or she would never get past this very disciplined gatekeeper. “He left me a letter to read. It explained how ten years ago he’d kept me from the man I love … Jag Parros.” She sniffled and blinked quickly.
The girl’s gaze was slowly growing more compassionate.
“Ten long years I’ve loved Jag, and because of deception from the man I ended up marrying, I’ve been kept from the man I was supposed to be with. Now I know the truth and all I want to do is find Jag, tell him the truth, and hold him close again.” She lifted her clasped hands, beseeching the girl with her eyes. “Please, just a room number. I promise he will want to see me, and you won’t get in trouble.”
The girl leaned toward her and nodded, and Faith’s heart leapt. Finally, she was going to get the number, and then she was going to find Jag. She would hand him the letter. Then she would wait for that change in his eyes, the comprehension, the love for her taking over. Then he’d sweep her off her feet, kiss her, and they’d start off where they’d picked up.
“I can’t give you his room number,” the girl whispered.
Faith’s shoulders rounded, and more traitorous tears rolled out.
“I’m sorry. But I can try to call his room for you.”
Faith would rather see him in person, but it was better than nothing. She nodded. “Please.”
The girl smiled, checked her computer, and then, shielding the phone as if Faith could crane her neck and get the room number, she quickly dialed the number. She kept her bright smile focused on Faith, but then her smile slowly drooped as the phone rang and no one picked up. She couldn’t quite meet Faith’s gaze as she set the phone back down and said, “I can leave a note for him from you.”
Faith looked around the main floor of the lodge. It was busy, but not overwhelming so. She pointed to a leather couch set by the fire. “Thank you.” She tried to compose herself. “Please leave a note for Jag Parros that Faith Summers needs to speak to him. I’ll be waiting right over there.”
The girl nodded quickly. “Thank you, ma’am.”
Faith walked wearily away. Jag. She just wanted to find him, be with him. Wasn’t ten years long enough to be apart? She sank onto the couch. Her stomach rumbled at the delicious scent of steak and fresh-baked bread coming from the restaurant. She pulled out her phone to check the time; it was only six-thirty. Jag could be at one of the restaurants downtown, or he could be at the restaurant right here. Maybe she’d just peek and hope that a miracle was still in store for her.
Chapter Six
Jag was probably acting off wit
h his family. He couldn’t keep going like this. He needed Faith, and he needed her now. He wanted to respect that it was the anniversary of Blaine’s death and she needed to mourn, but deep inside he could hardly stand the fact that she’d ever been with Blaine. It just wasn’t right. Despite all the junk and years that were between them now, Faith and Jag fit. They’d always fit. Like their gloves on the glass, nothing could come between them. She’d dumped him in that letter, but after being around her now, he realized he should’ve chased after her years ago, talked it out, and not let it come between them.
The family was sitting down to dinner at the beautiful resort restaurant, where the windows faced the ski slopes. The restaurant was crowded and busy. The waitress brought their drinks and was waiting now for their orders. Everyone else had ordered, and all were looking expectantly at Jag. He glanced up at the waitress, but a movement from behind her caught his eye.
Leaning around the waitress, he whispered, “Faith.” She was tentatively walking through the restaurant, looking around at tables as if searching for someone. Her face looked tear-stained, and her eyes were anxious. Her gaze kept darting around. She leaned forward, and then disappointment filled her face as if she hadn’t seen who she was hoping for.
Jag wanted to stand and shout that he was here. She had to be looking for him, but his legs were suddenly shaky and unsteady. Was Faith coming for him or was he in for another disappointment? He didn’t know if he could recover from anymore rejection.
Her Hockey Superstar Fake Fiancé: A Strong Family Romance Companion Novel Page 5