“You used to do it with the various managers when you had to be away from the mine on your princely duties,” she informed him.
“Good. With your help I can discuss the fax he sent.”
“After a couple of months, you’ll be able to handle everything on your own.”
“As long as I’m with you. I need you in my life, Luna. You’ll never know how much,” he whispered, covering her lovely face with kisses. His appetite for her had become insatiable.
“Right now all I want to do is get you in my arms. He stood up and pulled her to him. Within seconds they reached the cabin and fell on the bed, feverish for each other. They ended up getting home in time to call his grandparents, but the shopping had to be put off for another day.
CHAPTER NINE
“RINI?”
They’d just gotten off their online meeting with his grandparents. It had been a painful experience.
He shut down his laptop and shot to his feet. “I’ve done it now.”
“You had to do it, tesoro mio.”
“I may not know them, but I felt their pain.”
Luna had felt it, too. She got up from the chair and threw her arms around him. She rested her head against his shoulder. “They’re doing their best to understand. Give them time. Don’t forget. Vincenzo is already there, ready to take over when the time comes.”
He threw his head back. “I’m a monster, aren’t I?”
“No, amore. You came out of that mine a different person. It’s been in God’s hands and they know it. Come to bed.”
That night they held each other and clung. Her beloved husband had been carrying a terrible burden. Thankful he’d made the necessary phone call, now maybe he’d finally get some peace.
The next morning she found him in his study on a call with the manager at the mine. The two managed to communicate with Rini’s very modest grasp of Italian. Her pride in him was off the charts.
When the call ended, he turned and saw her. “You’re awake. I didn’t realize. During the night I got the idea to go down into the belly of the mine where the cave-in occurred. I know they’ve tried to remove debris, but I want to try it again to see if we can find some bodies. I despise feeling helpless. Maybe it’s a fool’s errand, but I have to try.”
“No, Rini. I don’t want you to go down inside.”
“I’ll be fine, but knowing how you feel, you won’t be coming with me.”
“You can’t go!” she cried. “I won’t let you.”
He grinned. “I can see we’re having our first fight.”
“This isn’t funny.”
She heard him draw in a deep breath. “I knew you wouldn’t like it, but it’s something I have to do.”
“Why?”
“I may have given up the idea of being Crown Prince, but a Baldasseri has been in charge of the mine for three hundred years. Now it’s my turn. I’m responsible for the entire operation. The men look to me for direction. What kind of a leader would I be if I let my problems defeat me? I need to do everything possible.”
She struggled to keep back the tears. “But all of that has been done.”
He stared hard at her. “Did you give up on me?”
Rini had made his point. “I understand, but I have a horrible feeling about it.”
“That’s your fear taking over.”
Yes. She was afraid. For him, for them, for their baby. If there was another quake or a cave-in, their son or daughter would never know him.
“Luna—I must do this.” She heard his determination. His vibrant voice resonated to her insides.
She could tell him the truth now, that they were expecting a child. The knowledge would probably force him to accede to her wishes. But that would be a cruel thing to do to him when he’d just made his first big, courageous decision to stand at the helm.
“I know you do,” she said at last, defeated by his excitement and that feeling inside him. “I’m sorry I had such a strong reaction.”
“Forgive me for upsetting you, Luna, but nothing’s going to happen to me. I’ll be home by the end of the day.”
Those were the very words he’d said to her before he’d left their bed to inspect the mine. To go through that horrifying experience again would be the end of her, but she couldn’t think that way.
“Of course you will, and I’ll be waiting.”
She wanted her husband whole and healthy in mind and body. He’d been born with this drive. Rini needed to act on it in order to thrive.
He may have lost his memory, but he hadn’t changed in the most fundamental way. Few men were natural-born leaders. His name had been preordained to be on a very short list. From an early age, he’d been revered. Now he was loved and respected by his country. This was his destiny.
Another quake could hit in the same region at the same intensity. But she couldn’t live in fear of that or she’d never get through life. To hold him back for her own selfish reasons would be wrong and unworthy of her.
“We’ll have today and tonight on the cruiser,” Rini reminded her.
“I can’t wait.”
They got busy and left for the port, taking food with them from the palazzo. After they arrived, Rini started up the engine and they took off for a fantastic day of fishing and sunbathing. By that evening they’d stuffed themselves with food and went to bed.
Rini rolled her on top of him. “We’ll make the most of this night. Tomorrow morning we’ll drive to the palace and I’ll take off for the mine in the helicopter. I promise I’ll be home by six for dinner.” Once again, they began the age-old ritual that brought both of them rapture. No woman ever had a husband as wonderful as Rini.
The next afternoon, as Rini walked through the claustrophobic labyrinths of the mine, the full realization of what had happened to him during the quake hit him. For the next few hours he and Pesco and the staff explored the area where the miners had been buried. It was an incredible sight to see all those boulders that filled the chutes. He lost total track of time because he was so deep in thought.
The massive damage was testament to the power of that quake. How he’d escaped death was absolutely astounding to him.
He’d studied the maps and found the shaft that led to the exit where he’d crawled out. Rini followed it and looked up at the sky. Maybe if he stood here long enough, a miracle would happen, and another quake would restore him to his former self.
He waited, but by eight o’clock he felt no tremors or rumblings. The ground remained solid beneath his feet.
“Rini?” Pesco murmured. “The men have gone home. Shall we go, too?”
He nodded and followed Pesco up to the surface of the mine. Of course the men had left after such a disastrous meeting! Rini could never blame them. He wasn’t the person he’d been pretending to be, and they knew it.
It would take him a lifetime to relearn what had taken him twenty-nine years to accomplish. There was no point in prolonging this nightmare. Not only couldn’t he speak fluent Italian, he also didn’t know what in the hell to communicate to the men. He knew nothing about running the mining world.
The only reason the men had treated him with the greatest deference was because they saw him as the Crown Prince, whatever that was. But Rini had seen the sadness in their eyes while he’d struggled to find words and come up with ideas that meant nothing!
They’d sent each other nonverbal messages when they’d thought he wasn’t looking. But Rini had known what they were thinking. What was this shell of a man doing in their mine when it was the last place he was wanted or needed? He thought he could just walk in like nothing had changed because he was the grandson of the King? Who did he imagine he was kidding?
After thanking Pesco, he walked to the helicopter and told the pilot to head back to Asteria. His wife would be waiting for him.
Luna looked up and clos
ed the book she’d been reading. “That’s a morose expression on your face, mi amante. I have to admit I was disappointed to receive your text late in the afternoon. Thank heaven you’re home safely. I worried something might have happened to you.”
“Something did happen,” he muttered. “Before I say anything else, I need a shower.”
“Rini—”
The terror in Luna’s voice didn’t stop him. Rini tore off his clothes and got under the water. Ever since he’d been flown back to Asteria, he’d wished he could wash away this creature he’d become. Last night in talking to his grandparents, he’d felt depression descend because he couldn’t remember anything about his former life.
Now he had to face the woman who’d been responsible for keeping him alive body and soul. He couldn’t comprehend that a feat of that magnitude had even been possible.
He stayed under the spray until the hot water turned tepid. It wasn’t until he realized nothing but cold water poured down that Rini shut off the taps and reached for his robe. Forget shaving. That could wait for another time. The talk with his wife couldn’t.
Close to midnight, he entered the bedroom. Luna sat on the side of the bed in her robe, waiting for him. Her gilt-blond beauty with those beguiling green eyes never failed to stun him. She smiled. “The hot water must have run out long ago. If you hadn’t made an appearance in another minute, I planned to come in after you.”
Rini moved closer, needing to steel himself for what had to be said. “It was insensitive of me to stay in there so long. To compound my sins, not only was I late getting home and that frightened you, I also left you with unanswered questions. You would never do that to me.”
She shook her head. “Rini—what’s going on inside you? You’re being positively mysterious.”
He cocked his head. “Maybe that’s because I am a man of mystery.”
“An exciting one.” The chuckle he loved escaped her lips, making this moment that much harder for him. Before long she wouldn’t be chuckling.
Over the past few days, he’d tried to adopt Dr. Tullia’s rule after being in a few sessions with him.
Don’t impose on her what you believe are her assumptions about you. Be honest with her. Let her tell you her honesty.
But he couldn’t follow the doctor’s advice to be patient any longer. It was time to express his feelings that were ready to burst.
His heart thudded. “There’s only one way for me to say this. I want a divorce.”
She didn’t move a muscle. Only shock could have caused the color to drain out of her complexion. But he’d started this, and now he had to go on even though it was killing him.
“There was a moment in the mine when I wished there’d been another quake.” A small gasp escaped her throat. “If miracles were being handed out, I would get hit in the head again and awaken the same man I’d once been.”
“Don’t even think it!” she cried.
“You’re not in my skin, Luna.”
Another muffled sound came from her. A shudder shook her beautiful body. “I don’t know how you dared venture inside.”
“You know why.”
“Darling,” she whispered.
“I didn’t belong down there, Luna, and have no wish to put those men through that agony again. Or you.”
She clasped her hands. “You think I’m in agony?”
“I know you are,” he bit out. “You think I didn’t understand what went through your mind when you learned I’d completely lost my memory? We were both strangers to each other. I’ll never live up to your expectation of who I used to be. I don’t want to try. I’m exhausted trying to reinvent myself. It’s not working.”
Spots of color stained her cheeks. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Oh, yes, I do. Like I told Doctor Tullia, you’re an angel. Too perfect. You never make a misstep. When we vowed to love each other for better or worse, we didn’t know I would turn into the amnesiac I’ve become. You deserve to start over again with someone who will fall in love with you.”
“Because you’re not in love with me?” she fired at him.
“I’m not worthy of you, Luna. You need to be free. Since the moment I woke up in the hospital in Rezana, I’ve clung to you. My total selfishness has made your life a living hell.”
“Stop, Rini! Don’t you know how thrilled I’ve been that you’ve wanted me with you every second? After all, I’m a stranger to you.”
“But you can’t leave a room without my questioning it. Every second I’m awake, I need you. When I’m asleep, I need you right by me. No move has been made without my devoted caregiver right there at my side.”
“There’s no other place I want to be.”
“Spoken like a dutiful wife.”
“Not dutiful. I love you. If I didn’t, I would have told you I wanted a separation before we ever left the hospital.”
“Because of your selflessness, you’ve brought me through the worst of my reincarnation. But from now on I’ll be able to survive on my own. The whole point is that you must be released from the bondage of our marriage to be the person you were meant to be. I’ve become too possessive of you. It’s not right. You’re only twenty-six with a lifetime ahead of you. To be chained to me would rob you of your destiny.”
She got to her feet. “Where has all this come from? What have you been holding back I know nothing about? Tell me!”
“Vincenzo mentioned that he’d come to the rescue because you needed space and my grandparents were worried about you having to be there twenty-four-seven.”
Luna shook her head. “You mean to tell me that what Vincenzo said has caused all this doubt and fear in you?”
“Can you deny you feel chained to me?”
“I deny it a million percent!”
“No, you don’t, but you’re too committed to me to say anything else. This isn’t the life either of us signed up for. I can’t live with the guilt of depriving you of your expectations. You say we met and fell madly in love. I accept that we did. But I came out of that mine a different man.
“You should be able to meet another man and fall in love with the knowledge that he’ll always be that same man. The two of you can build a life together and realize your dreams.”
She clasped her arms to her waist. “What about yours?”
“I don’t have any, Luna. I’m still trying to survive. My grandparents are waiting for some transformation that isn’t going to happen. As for my position at the Baldasseri Mine, I’m giving it up.”
“How will you live?”
“I do have the savings in my account that I’ve earned. It’s enough money to get me started in a new direction. More important, I’ll make certain that you will always be taken care of and retain your title. This palazzo and everything in it is yours for your lifetime. You will want for nothing.”
“Except for the man I love.” The tremor in her voice could have been his undoing if his mind wasn’t already made up.
“Face it, Luna. He died in the quake.”
“Have you talked to Doctor Tullia about this?” She sounded frantic.
“I don’t need to. He can’t change me into the man I once was. No power on earth is capable of that.”
She stood in front of him, her eyes burning like green fire. “So there’s nothing I can say?”
“No. For better or worse doesn’t apply to us. I’m not the man who made that vow to you. I could never live up to the person you married. I’m not the man you chose to be your husband. It isn’t possible.”
Luna put a hand on his arm. “I want the man I’m looking at right now, flaws and all.”
Rini stepped away. “But I don’t want you, not under these circumstances.”
Moisture glistened on her eyelids. “Can’t you pretend we’ve just met and start all over again, like we decided at th
e lake?”
He shook his head. “We’d be living a lie for the rest of our lives. It’s not going to work for either of us.”
Tears ran down her cheeks. “So you’re going to end everything, just like that? Rini—” She staggered to the nearest chair and sat down.
He couldn’t take much more of this and headed for the door of their suite. “On the flight home from the mine I worked out a plan. Tonight I’ll sleep in the guest room down the hall. Tomorrow I’ll go to a hotel.”
“And then what?”
“In the morning I plan to buy a car. By afternoon I’ll meet with an attorney to expedite the divorce. Don’t worry about anything. My grandparents are kind people who’ve given me the breathing room I’ve needed. I couldn’t ask for better. They love you and will supply you with the best counsel available.”
He opened the door. “With that said, I’ll say good-night. As of now, you’re free to embrace the life you were meant to live. In case you didn’t know it before, I’ll tell you now. You are the best.”
* * *
Through blurry eyes Luna watched her husband leave. He’d delivered his ultimatum. She’d known no power under heaven would cause him to change his mind. If she’d told him they were going to have a baby, that would have hastened his exit from the room. His guilt over divorcing her would increase. The last thing she wanted to do was overwhelm him. The revelation they were expecting would have to come later when she could think.
An hour passed while she toyed with the one what-if idea she’d been entertaining in her mind. He’d thrown down the gauntlet, but unlike the knights of old, he didn’t expect her to pick it up.
Luna had news for him.
Considering she had nothing to lose, she got to her feet and started for the entrance, determined like she’d never before been in her life.
“Rini?” She knocked on the guest bedroom door.
“Come in,” sounded his deep voice.
Surprised it was that easy to gain access to his new inner sanctum, Luna entered the room. He’d propped himself on top of the bed with his laptop. Those long, powerful legs were visible below the hem of his robe. “If you’re here to argue with me, it would be useless.” She noticed his gaze never left the screen. He’d gone into battle mode.
Reclaiming the Prince's Heart Page 12