by Becca Turner
Luke’s startled gaze moved between them before he removed his hat. “The kids are home with Faith and Jess. It’s just me and Will. He’s in the waiting room. They won’t let more than two back here. Believe me, we’re familiar enough with the rules.”
“I should go then.” Nolan nodded. “I’m only in the way.”
Jody’s mouth opened, then she closed it.
Luke shifted his weight. “If I interrupted something important, I can wait outside for a minute.”
“It was nothing.” Jody crossed her arms. “Good night, Nolan.”
That was it? Only a sarcastic dismissal? Not that he expected her to beg him to stay. Not Jody. She wasn’t the begging type.
“Sorry it turned into such a lousy evening.” He jammed his hands into his jeans pockets. “Think about what I said. I…it would mean a lot to me.”
“Don’t hold your breath.” She dropped her gaze. “I told you not to get attached. You were warned.”
“And you don’t have to be so damned stubborn all the time.” He sucked in a breath. If he stayed much longer, they were only going to get into a fight. Not what she needed right now. “I’ll call you in a couple days.”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t go out of your way.”
All her cynical remarks were covering fear and pain. No wonder she was afraid to get attached to anyone. Knowing about her problem made it easy to forgive her attitude. He headed for the waiting room, hoping Will might talk some sense into his little sister.
Will sat near the door in his wheelchair, drumming his fingers on the armrest. His dark eyes moved to the doorway as Nolan stepped through.
“Hey, man.” Will rolled forward, then offered his hand to Nolan. “You got her here in one piece?”
He took Will’s hand. In the past, Will had been as sharp as a new nail and bitter like dandelion leaves. Seemed like finding Jessi had created a whole new man. “They’re waiting on the CT scan because of the bump on her head, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they let her go in a couple of hours. She’s banged up and going to be sore, but nothing permanent.”
Will looked relieved. “She’s tough.”
“Like boot leather. But can I talk to you outside for a minute?”
Will nodded. “Sure.”
The air had turned cooler and the breeze had taken away some of the stuffiness. It made the sweat on Nolan’s body downright chilly.
“Jody’s…she’s really stubborn.” How to approach the subject of Will’s sister’s breast without coming off like a randy high school kid?
“She comes by it honestly.” Will looked up at him. “So?”
Nolan cleared his throat. “The doctor wanted to do a different kind of test and she kind of told the nurse no.”
Will’s eyes narrowed. “What kind of test?”
“Um…an ultrasound. But it’s not what you’re thinking.” He put up his hands. The ages old I-didn’t-do-it. Will wasn’t an idiot. He probably knew Jody and Nolan were sleeping together. “She’s not pregnant.”
Will’s eyes narrowed. “Okay, then why an ultrasound?”
“She has a…a thing. Look, she just needs it and she’s being the female version of you. I couldn’t tell Luke while we were standing in front of her. She’s pissed at me for calling you guys and trying to change her mind, but all I want is what’s best for her.”
“It’s pretty serious then.” Will’s gaze darted off into the parking lot. “Like life or death serious. I wondered… She was acting weird. Hell, she’s acted weird since the day she walked up to Luke’s house, but lately she’s been worse.”
Nolan stuck his hands in his pockets again. “I didn’t want to be the one to say anything. It’s not my place, but she’d keep it a secret, so you guys need to know. If you and Luke get together and convince her, maybe it could save her life.”
Will’s features reflected sadness. “We just found her. Now something serious might take her away.”
“Maybe not.”
Will studied him for a moment. “You like her?”
“I do.”
“Even though she’s, how’d you put it? A female version of me?” The corner of his mouth lifted. “Despite that?”
Nolan ducked his head to hide his smile. “Yeah.”
“If she’s really sick, you’ll stick by her anyway?”
A knot formed in Nolan’s throat. “I will. If that’s what she wants.”
“She’ll get done whatever needs done. We’ll drive her crazy until she gives in. That’s what we’re here for. Don’t worry.”
How could he keep from it? Without meaning to, he’d fallen in love with her. Leaving right now was one of the toughest decisions he’d made. “Thanks, Will.”
“You leaving?”
“She needs some rest and you’d probably feel better if you see her. Let me know if they decide to release her.”
“Can do. Be careful driving home.” Will nodded at him.
“Sure. Thanks again, man.”
His heart ached as he made his way across the parking lot to his truck. Restlessness gripped him. He wanted to climb into his truck and gun the engine, race away from town. Leave his feelings behind in a cloud of dust. Instead, he let himself in and sat behind the wheel with the keys beside him on the seat.
Why hadn’t she told him? If not him, then her brothers? Did she really think none of them cared? That none of them would help her if she needed it?
He slammed his hand against the steering wheel. The little jolt of pain that spread through his palm didn’t loosen his frustration. Nolan put one arm across the steering wheel, then rested his forehead against it. Numbness and exhausted washed over him.
“Dammit, Will, you’d better make sure she takes care of herself.”
He could lose his mind trying to figure out that stubborn woman—and he was willing to spend a lifetime trying—but losing her would kill him.
* * * *
Between the piercing nearly black and icy blue of her brothers’ gazes, Jody almost felt intimidated. She fiddled with the hospital bracelet on her wrist as they stared her down.
“You weren’t planning on telling us. One day, you’d what? Disappear? We were supposed to wonder for the rest of our lives where the hell you went?”
The disapproval in Will’s voice made her skin crawl. “I didn’t want to cause any trouble. No fuss.”
“Oh, there’s plenty of trouble. I’m going to do a lot more than fuss.”
“Will, maybe take it easy on her. She’s had a rough night.”
Will raised his finger and pointed it at Luke. “Don’t you tell me to be easy on her. She might have cancer and she’s acting like it’s a splinter.”
“She’s wiped out. Look at her.” Luke gestured at her. “She needs some quiet and rest. You can yell at her tomorrow.”
“Oh, please. The second she’s out of our sight, she’s going to bolt. We’ll never see her again.” A muscle in Will’s jaw tightened. “She’s Mom’s daughter, after all.”
Jody cringed. “It would really be great if you could turn the volume down a little.”
Will scowled, but clamped his mouth shut.
The sudden silence didn’t ease the tension in the cubicle. At least Luke looked more sympathetic.
“Why do you guys care so much? You don’t even know me.” She pushed tangled hair back from her forehead. The Tylenol the nurse had brought were kicking in and she felt a little stronger. Not strong enough to face Will’s wrath, but she might be able to get through a rational conversation. “We’re strangers, really.”
“Not because that’s the way we want it.” Will folded his arms. “Seriously, what gives?”
Here we go. Will would never let it go and if Luke got started too, oh, boy. She licked her lips. “A few months ago, maybe a couple of weeks before Dad died, I got hung up on my saddle while performing the layout fender.”
Blank stares.
“The one where I hang off the side. They call it the Indian hideaway too.
Anyway, my foot got caught. Splash almost stepped on me and when I twisted to get away, I popped out a rib or something. It hurt like hell. Maybe I tore a muscle, but I’m tough.” She smiled a little. Neither of them returned it. “That’s the only thing I can think of that happened on the same side. It didn’t matter that I was hurt. Dad needed help and he started going downhill fast. Even while he was dying, his stupid friends would sneak him alcohol. It was a constant battle to keep it out of the house. Things got hectic, but I noticed the…the lump right around the time he passed. I was kind of shocked after Dad’s funeral. Trying to figure out if you needed to know or if it mattered. If you ever thought about him.”
She curled her hands. “I ignored it, but it didn’t ignore me. It’s gotten bigger. And it hurts. Sometimes pretty bad, depending on what I’m doing. If it’s going to kill me, I’d rather die at home than in a hospital. I needed someplace for Splash to go. He’s my best friend. I had to know he would get a good home and not end up at an auction barn. Not everyone can appreciate his talent.”
Will’s jaw worked. “Why didn’t you see a doctor? Take care of it in the beginning.”
She met his gaze. “Dad was a total waste of human life, but he was still Dad. I was a little bit lost without someone to take care of. Even though… It’s all I ever wanted. To get away from him. When it happened—” She broke off and swallowed the knot in her throat. “I’m no better than him. No one would miss me if I died. I’ve only ever done one good thing my whole life and I’m failing her too.”
“Who?” Luke moved closer to the bed. “What do you mean?”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about it.” If Nolan found out, he’d hate her. Maybe as much as she hated herself.
“The time for being quiet is way past.” Luke claimed the seat Nolan had abandoned. “Spill it. Whether you believe it or not, we’re family. We can take it.”
“I have a daughter.” The words fell out of her mouth like lumps of clay. “She’s nine and she has kidney failure.” The tears she’d been holding back slipped down her cheeks.
Will’s mouth opened and his eyes widened as he looked at Luke.
Luke cleared his throat. “You have a daughter.”
She wiped at her face. “Not really. I gave her up for adoption right after she was born. You don’t know what living with Dad was like. I couldn’t make her go through that. I wasn’t very far along when I decided she needed a better family, so I found an adoption agency and they helped me find a couple who wanted a baby.”
Her heart ached with every word. Luke passed her a tissue.
“Everything is such a mess.” She sucked in a breath. “She got sick before Dad died. Her mom, Danica, she called me to see if I could donate a kidney, but the funny thing—hell, it’s the least funny thing in the world—I’d donated blood a couple of weeks before and they gave me a little card with my blood type.”
She gritted her teeth. “We don’t have the same blood type. I couldn’t give her a kidney even if I didn’t have a lump in my breast. I’m a positive and she’s a negative. She could die and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“That’s a thing? Not having the same blood type as your children?” Luke looked baffled. “I didn’t know that.”
“It’s a thing. There’s a long, scientific explanation, but the simplest thing to say is that we’re not a match.” Exhausted, she leaned back against her pillow. “That’s why I ran tonight. Her mother called a hundred times while I was in Stillwater. She found out my PO box here and sent a letter begging me to give Joy a kidney. I would if I could. God, I want to, but it won’t work.”
“That doesn’t tell us why you ran,” Luke said softly. “I don’t understand, sis.”
“I saw her. Danica. She was driving on the street right above the ice cream shop where the girl hit me. I was terrified she’d get out and confront me in front of…in front of Nolan. Casey was there too and I can’t even imagine if she found out what I did. What I am.” She’d ruined everything. Her own life, her chances of having one with Nolan. God, it would’ve been simpler if the woman who’d hit her had just run her over.
Luke and Will exchanged a look.
“Hey, take it easy.” Will’s voice had gone from rock hard to soft. “What about Joy’s real dad? Maybe he could help her out.”
A bitter laugh left her. “He did time in prison, Will. He’s got Hep C. Even if he could do something, I doubt he would. He split the second he found out I was knocked up. It’s better that Brandon and Danica don’t find out about where he ended up.”
“What about us?” Will looked at Luke again. “One of us could give up a kidney to help our niece. Not that she’d need to know about us, if her parents don’t want her to. But maybe we could do something.”
Luke elbowed Will. “You already know you can’t. You don’t have any body parts to spare.”
Will looked down at his legs. “It’s an emergency.”
“Emergency or not, it’s not happening.”
“Well, shit.” Will pushed his fingers through his hair. “That leaves you. Maybe. Right?”
Luke nodded. “Yeah, I could—”
“Stop. I didn’t tell you two idiots because I’m begging for a kidney for a little girl I haven’t seen in years. I’ll have to tell Danica the truth. Soon.” Her head throbbed. “When I feel better. I’ve made such a mess of everything.”
“Well, we’re here to pick up the pieces. Like it or not, you’ve got family.” Will reached for her hand and seemed surprised when she didn’t pull it away. “We’ll take it day by day.”
“I don’t want to cause problems. You guys have enough of your own.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m not worth the time it would take to straighten everything out.”
“Shut up. I think we get to decide that.”
Will’s sharp tone made her open her eyes again.
“What do you say we take this even slower. An hour at a time. You get that ultrasound you need and then we go from there.” Luke smiled at her. “Start with that and then we’ll figure out if we can do anything for Joy.”
We. They didn’t hate her. Weren’t disgusted by the fact that she’d given her baby away. Both of her idiot brothers were looking at her like they gave a damn what happened next. Weird…and nice. Strangely comforting.
But she wanted Nolan. Wanted the same understanding and acceptance from him. He’d gone, driven off by her anger. Will had tried to tell her that Nolan was tired and probably needed a break from the excitement, but he’d looked hurt when he left. She didn’t even have her phone right now to send him an apology text.
He’d promised to call her sometime. She both wanted the call and dreaded it.
Chapter Nineteen
A few birds and a squirrel quibbled over the bird feeder in Will and Jessi’s backyard. Jody’s money was on the squirrel, but the birds were holding their own.
In the background, Will had some daytime TV gameshow on for noise even though his face was buried in his tablet. With the temperature still too hot for this time of year, he’d opted to stay indoors while Luke and the hired men harvested their last crops of the season. For the most part, Will had completely ignored Jody.
It was nice of her brother and sister-in-law to let her stay the night. She’d been so exhausted, she didn’t have the strength to fight with Will about it. They’d kicked Bear out of his room to give to her. He’d been elated about sleeping on the sofa. Before she’d gotten up this morning, Jessi had already taken Bear to school and gone to work. Jessi had left some clothes for her that were a mile too big on Jody’s thin frame. Leggings. Like she’d ever be caught dead in those outside of an arena. But the soft seams were easy on her bruised hip and thigh. Jess wasn’t a big woman, but she definitely had more curves. The waistband of the leggings was loose and her t-shirt pretty much swallowed Jody.
Will had fixed breakfast, tossed a tube of muscle rub at her, and sought his tablet for companionship. There was no getting home until Je
ssi got back from work. So Jody gritted her teeth and tried to find a comfortable position on the couch.
The small knot on her head was by far the worst of her injuries and even that wasn’t so bad. A couple of Tylenol got the throb down to a twinge. As long as she didn’t move much, she felt okay.
“Iced tea?”
She tore her gaze away from the backyard at Will’s voice. The squirrel had given up and watched the birds from a tree branch with jealousy glittering in his dark eyes. “I’m good. Thanks.”
“You didn’t eat a lot at breakfast.” He stared at her, not quite accusing, but apparently displeased.
“I never eat much. If I weighed four hundred pounds, Splash would hate me.” Maybe before she went home, she could stop in to see him. It might be a couple of weeks before she could get on him again. At least comfortably. Her butt ached from slamming into the pavement. Sitting in the saddle wouldn’t do it any favors.
If she got back into a saddle. She might die between here and there. A shiver swept over her. After the ultrasound last night, Will and Luke had coerced her into allowing the ER doctor to consult with a pathologist who’d set up an appointment for her at the end of the week.
Jessi had offered to take her to the appointment. Offered with no way for Jody to refuse.
Will’s gaze went to the bird feeder, but she didn’t think he was interested in the avian wildlife. Or the squirrel slowly sneaking across the lawn again. “You worried about something?”
“Did you tell Jessi about Joy?”
“Not my place. I didn’t want to make you mad.”
“Okay. She’d probably have kicked me out earlier if she’d known.” Jody picked at a piece of torn cuticle on her nail. “I had a choice and I made the one I thought would be best for Joy. About giving her up, I mean.”
“You don’t have to justify what you did to me. I believe you.” He rolled across the floor, closer to the couch. “I grew up with Mom. I know what she was like. Listening to the things you’ve said about Dad, I have no doubt you did what was best. Luke understands too. I don’t know what Jess will say, but you had your reasons. She’ll get that.”