by Annie Seaton
‘Emlyn?’
She jumped and stared at the man standing beside her. Her thoughts were foggy, and she looked down at the paper in her hand.
‘Are you okay?’
As she’d stood there thinking, she’d folded the paper and refolded it, and now somehow the sheets had become screwed up in her hand. She racked her brain, trying to retrieve what he’d asked her, but her short-term memory had shut down. That familiar sick feeling rose in her throat and she closed her eyes as she took a deep breath.
Trying to look normal, she moved back to the table and put the papers on the scratched tabletop and smoothed them out, slowly and deliberately.
The password for the internet connection. That’s what they’d been talking about.
‘Yes, yes. I’m fine. I was just thinking.’ Embarrassment flooded through her as she wondered how long she’d stood there going off into one of her staring moments. Long enough for him to get up and walk over to her, obviously. She waved her hand. ‘Capital HV underscore forty-two,’ she read off the paper, trying to keep her voice even.
‘Hidden Valley and the year Dad was born. Okay. I’ll remember that. I’ll call back in later if it’s changed.’
She held up a hand and looked past him. ‘No. It’s okay. Don’t make a special trip back. I don’t need it yet. I’ve got plenty to keep me busy here. Or you can text me. I’ll give you my number.’ As soon as she offered that she kicked herself. There was no need to have any sort of relationship with this man, no matter how kind he seemed to be this afternoon.
‘You won’t get lonely out here by yourself? Or scared?’
Her laugh was bitter, and she turned it into a cough. ‘No. I like my own company. Thank you for calling in.’
‘So what’s your number? I’d need it anyway in case I need to let you know anything.’
‘Like what?’ she resisted.
‘Flooded roads. Any message that might come in for you.’
She recited it and he put it into his phone.
Heat rushed into her cheeks as Travis sat down again and picked up his mug. Here she was trying to give him the hint to leave and he hadn’t even finished his cup of tea.
‘So, tell me about your plans here,’ he said.
Emlyn wondered why he was persisting. She glanced down at the papers in front of her and pulled out the last sheet with the map of the property. She traced her finger along the green belt by the river. ‘We’ve decided to begin in the large cave where the roof is still intact. Once the others arrive we’ll go underground and then set our research area. I imagine it will be very different from what the maps show us. The entry point is about three kilometres from the river at the end of a small valley. Not far from the perennial springs.’
‘I know exactly where you’re talking about. That’s where the property name Hidden Valley comes from,’ Travis offered, and she looked up in surprise.
‘How do you know that?’ she asked.
‘Because it was my great-great-whatever-grandfather who called it that in 1862. The first homestead wasn’t far from the bottom of that hill.’
‘The first homestead?’
‘Yes, it’s actually not that far from here as the crow flies,’ he said. ‘We passed it on the way here yesterday.’
‘So, this is a family-owned property from way back?’ she asked, beginning to understand his reluctance to let them come on site.
‘Yes, the first pastoral licence was issued for a block fifteen miles from north to south, and seven miles from east to west. Hidden Valley was the centre point and my ancestors built the first homestead on the western side of the present road not far from the Einasleigh River. Over the years, it was amalgamated with many other runs to form the property we have today. The next homestead built in the early 1900s was the beautiful old home that I grew up in. It was destroyed in a fire when I was a kid.’
‘On the same spot?’
‘Both weren’t far from here; our homestead was closer to the river, and the original settlement was a small wattle-and-daub shack at the bottom of the hill. You can still see the brick chimney. It’s the only thing left apart from the old cemetery. The irony is, if anyone had been home when our place burned down, the house was close enough to the water to be saved. It was a beautiful old homestead and was about to be heritage listed when it was destroyed. We moved to the manager’s residence back then. And we’re still there.’
‘That must have been hard. To lose your home, I mean.’
‘Yeah, it was. I came back from school that Christmas and everything was gone. All the family history, the diaries, the record books. All lost. At least there’s some history in the graves.’
‘How big is your property now?’
‘We’re a hundred kilometres on our western boundary and fifty on the south.’ He reached over and traced the boundaries on the map, and she tensed when his shoulder brushed hers.
‘That is big.’
‘It is.’ He stared past her towards the door, seemingly lost in his thoughts as she had been. ‘We think how hard it was for the pioneers—my forebears came through not long after Leichhardt discovered the area—but despite all our advances, I really do think we do it tougher these days.’ He looked up and met her gaze. ‘Sorry, I tend to get a bit carried away when I get started. I would give anything to see those family diaries again. I used to love reading them when I was a kid.’
‘No. I know what you mean. I find it interesting, too. John—one of our researchers—will be keen to know more about the place. His wife is a lecturer in Australian history at the university and I know she’s been involved in the study of Leichhardt’s disappearance. She was really keen to come up here with us when we first discussed the caves.’ Emlyn paused, and as she looked at Travis Carlyle, she saw a much more fascinating man than the one who’d reluctantly given her the keys. ‘But what do you mean by harder these days? Surely not?’
‘The downturn in the beef industry, the change in live exports to Indonesia, the difficulty of getting workers to come out here, and to top it all off, a partner who would be happy if we sold the place tomorrow.’
‘A partner?’
‘Gavin, my brother. He’s itching to sell up and move to Townsville.’ His laugh was bitter. ‘Thankfully, no one wants to buy it. There’s a shortage of surface water on our property. We’ve only got a couple of perennial springs where we graze the cattle. The problem is they’re all around the caves where you want to work.’
‘So now you’ve got us here to compound your problems.’
‘You want me to be honest?’ His stare was intent.
‘Yes.’
‘It is a pain because I’m scared if you find something, we’ll be resumed and turned into a national park.’
‘Like Undara?’
‘Yes. Although to be fair, it was the Collins family who developed their own land and handed it over to the government. They run the tourist side of things there on the land they retained.’
‘I guess you’re hoping we don’t find anything of significance.’
‘Yes. This is our family property. My sons both love it up here.’ His voice lowered as he stared past her. ‘I want to be able to hand the property over to them one day. As a successful working concern.’
‘You have a family?’ For some reason, she had tagged Travis as a crusty old bachelor. Okay, maybe not so old.
‘Yes, they’re down with their mother on the coast—we’re separated. Once upon a time, I had plans to build a new home up here, but I didn’t get around to it in time.’
In time for what, Emlyn wondered?
‘They’ll be home soon,’ Travis said.
‘How old are they?’
She was surprised when he answered.
‘Twins. Boys just sixteen, and a little girl. School finished at the beginning of December and they stayed down there for Christmas. I don’t get to see my daughter very often.’ His voice was bitter. ‘Her mother doesn’t trust me to look after her.’
; ‘How old is she?’
‘Two.’
Emlyn stood to go to the sink, and the room shifted. Her stomach churned, and her ears buzzed as she grabbed the edge of the table. She swallowed the saliva that filled her mouth and reached for the chair behind her, and sat down again.
‘Are you all right?’ Travis’s voice came from a distance, but she was aware of him getting up from the table and heard the fridge door squeak. When she opened her eyes, he was crouched in front of her, a bottle of water in one hand. He lifted his other hand and put it on the back of her neck, the gentle pressure forcing her head down.
‘Go with me. Put your head lower. You’re as white as a sheet.’
Emlyn shook her head as the room came back into focus. Since she’d been discharged from hospital, her blood pressure had been okay. It had been so low after the last lot of skin grafts, the specialist had insisted she stay in until it had stabilised.
‘I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Please.’ She focused on keeping her voice clear, all the while cursing herself for the physical reaction. She could keep her thoughts at bay, but sometimes her body let her down. ‘I’m all right. It’s just that … I haven’t eaten today. Low blood pressure.’
‘Well, you’d better get something into you.’ His voice was soft and kind.
Unwanted tears filled Emlyn’s eyes as she stared back at him. Light amber-brown eyes full of concern held hers.
She sat up straight and reached for the water bottle. ‘I overdid the cleaning in the heat. Thank you … for looking after me.’ She blinked but couldn’t help the stray tear that rolled down her cheek. Self-conscious, she looked away before she mumbled, ‘I do appreciate it.’
‘That’s good.’ He stood and pushed his chair in and then gestured to the table. ‘Here’s a muesli bar and an apple I found in the fridge.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Let me see you eat.’ The kindness in his voice almost brought her undone. ‘Then I’ll go and leave you in peace. Although,’ he frowned as she unwrapped the muesli bar, ‘is it really safe for you to be here by yourself?’
Emlyn held the wrapper and it crackled as her hand shook. ‘Yes, I’m fine. Like I said, I overdid it. I’ll slow down. The others will be here soon.’
‘This heat creeps up on you. Make sure you stay well hydrated, too.’
‘I will.’ She lifted her head and held his gaze as she took a bite of the nut bar, forcing herself to eat. ‘Thank you. And I’m sorry if I worried you.’
‘All good. Why don’t you go and have a rest? I’ll call back and check on you later.’
‘There’s no need.’
He walked across to the door and threw a penetrating look her way. ‘If you’re sure.’
‘I’m sure.’
‘I’ll ring later, then. Okay?’ He cleared his throat and his voice was gruff again. ‘Sorry. I probably bored you senseless anyway with all my yakking. You didn’t need to know all that about the property.’
Emlyn stood and followed him across to the door. Her head was clear now, but her legs were still a bit shaky. After one conversation she knew more about Travis Carlyle than she did about any of her colleagues. The desire to end the conversation and retreat into her normal solitude was tempting, but the kind way he’d treated her prompted her next question. ‘And your boys want to keep the farm?’
‘Yes, they want to keep the station.’ He pushed open the door. ‘Would you like to come out for a bit of a tour with us later tomorrow? The boys should be here and Jase and Joel love showing off the place. The entry point you’ve chosen is a great place to watch the sunset.’
‘Um …’ She searched for an excuse, not wanting to be in company, but it was too good an opportunity to pass up. If they were with her, she could see the caves and decide whether she’d be able to go in and have a look by herself before the rest of the team arrived. Being guided in by locals with intimate knowledge of the landscape could save her a lot of time consulting her maps and notes. ‘Yes. Thank you. That would be really useful.’ Her voice was crisp and businesslike.
‘Sunset is the best time to see the place in the green season. If it ever gets here this year. We’ll come and get you. But I’ll still call later to check on you, and confirm the boys will be here.’
He turned and was out the door before she could change her mind. Emlyn stood there hanging onto the doorpost as the motorbike disappeared over the hill.
* * *
Emlyn filled the kettle with bottled water and waited for it to boil. She’d eaten the food that Travis had laid out, and then lain down for a couple of hours and cleared her mind, although she was still kicking herself for reacting to his words. She probably should eat something more substantial, but the thought of cooking on the stove didn’t appeal. In the end, she picked up another muesli bar and chewed on it.
Her teacup looked out of place on the chipped laminate of the kitchen bench in the donga. David had always smiled at her insistence that you should only drink tea out of fine china. She picked up the cup and twirled it around. It had come from a Royal Albert tea set that Gran had left to her, and she carried it everywhere she went. The gold rim was chipped, and the once-bright flowers had faded, but holding it always soothed her.
She poured the boiling water onto the Earl Grey teabag, inhaling the refreshing sweet smell as she carried the cup across to the long bench along the wall where she’d set up her laptop. The password had worked. She sat down and logged onto the satellite connection. After glancing at the academic papers she hadn’t completed reading yet, she flicked her eyes back to the screen. She’d deal with her emails first and then read until bedtime. Maybe she’d read some of the articles later.
A dozen or so unread emails filled her inbox, including one from John Kearns, which repeated the text message he’d sent her yesterday. There’d been some heavy rain around Gladstone and they were keeping an eye on the flood warnings as they planned their route.
Emlyn clicked on the last email before she realised it was from David. She looked at the date; he’d sent it to her soon after he’d called yesterday. There was no greeting.
Remember our first date?
You chose the movie and I went along with you.
Stardust? Fantasy? Nah, not for me. I pretended I was keen, but really, all I wanted to do was spend time with you. Watching you in the cinema that night is one of my best memories ever. Almost up there with our wedding day.
I can’t describe my feelings as I watched you stare at the screen, your mouth open with wonder, and your eyes glistening with tears when the witch locked the actress in the castle. I can’t remember her name.
I never followed what was going on. But even though I didn’t watch much of the movie, I still remember what made you feel sad. I fell in love with you even more that night. I knew we were destined to spend the rest of our lives together.
At least it gave me a reason to take your hand and you let me hold it.
It only seems like last week, but we had so much more happiness after that. We did, Em. Remember the happy times.
Everything makes our life. Happy times, sad times. That is life. I want you to think about that.
David had been so easy to live with. Whatever made her happy, whatever she wanted to do, whatever decisions she made. He was always happy to go along with her in his own cheery way. So when he’d first said an emphatic no to going to the wedding, she’d been shocked.
Another if only.
She lifted her hand to her face, surprised to feel the tears on her cheeks.
It’s New Year’s Eve. Look at the stars and think of me tonight. David.
Hurrying down the steps, she stood in the middle of the drive and looked up at the stars. The sky was silver and the sparkling, shining stars blinked furiously as she stared at the ribbon that was the Milky Way.
The night sky always brought her calm. It hid her flaws and the scars burned into her flesh; it made the memories bearable for a short time. Tears pricked at her eyes, but t
onight her grief was different.
How perceptive of David to know that of all things that helped her, it was the final scene from that movie that got her through when it all became too hard. He knew her so well, and she wished that their lives had turned out differently. She stared up at the stars and whispered the names of those she’d loved and lost as the pale starlight washed over the landscape in front of her.
Star dust.
CHAPTER
4
Travis’s mobile rang late that evening and for a brief moment he felt guilty that he hadn’t called Emlyn back as he’d said he would, but by the time they’d cooked, eaten and done the dishes it had been past nine o’clock. Anyway, he’d got a clear impression that she hadn’t wanted him to call. Then Gavin had pulled out the ancient vacuum cleaner and started a mad flurry of clearing the living room and the entry foyer of all the junk that was lying around.
He obviously wanted something—and it would be extra money—and Travis was waiting for him to ask as they cleaned through the house.
‘Do you want clean sheets on the boys’ beds?’ Gavin had asked.
Travis had sighed. ‘For God’s sake, Gavin, just tell me how much you want, and cut this cleaning crap.’
‘Why do you think it’s about money?’ Gavin’s scowl had stretched to his eyes.
‘Because it always is,’ Travis had replied tiredly. ‘It’d be much easier if you’d just give me a bit of a hand with the cattle.’
Gavin had unplugged the vacuum, thrown it in the hall cupboard and disappeared into his room. ‘I’m going to bed.’
Travis glanced at the screen before he answered: it was Alison’s number. He ran his hand through his hair; he wasn’t in the mood to argue with anyone else tonight. And then the guilt came chiming in; any arguments he and his wife had, he was always the instigator as his frustration kicked in. Frustration that he had to fight to see his kids, frustration that any spare money had to be sent to her, and just bloody frustration with the unexpected end of their marriage.