Into the President.
roger bevins iii
The crowd swarming around us.
hans vollman
Several bolder individuals, inspired by our example, also made to enter.
the reverend everly thomas
By first taking exploratory runs through the President, or brushing glancingly against him, or darting into and then out of him, as a loon might break the surface of a lake to seize a fish.
hans vollman
Mr. Cohoes, outspoken former boilermaker, matching Mr. Lincoln’s pace, strolled into him from behind, and stayed there, moving identically within him, stride for stride.
roger bevins iii
Nothing to it! Cohoes said, his voice gone high-pitched with the audacity of the act.
the reverend everly thomas
All were now emboldened.
hans vollman
Soon it became a general movement.
roger bevins iii
No one wishing to be excluded.
hans vollman
Many individuals encroaching upon one another—
the reverend everly thomas
Entering one another—
hans vollman
Becoming multiply conjoined—
roger bevins iii
Shrinking down as necessary—
hans vollman
So that all might be accommodated.
roger bevins iii
Mrs. Crawford entered, being groped as usual by Mr. Longstreet.
hans vollman
The stabbed Mr. Boise entered; Andy Thorne entered; Mr. Twistings entered, as did Mr. Durning.
roger bevins iii
The Negro contingent, having broken free of Lieutenant Stone and his patrol, came therein; Stone and patrol, offended by the notion of proximity to those persons, declined to follow.
the reverend everly thomas
The Barons were now therein; Miss Doolittle, Mr. Johannes, Mr. Bark, and Tobin “Badger” Muller were therein.
roger bevins iii
Along with many others.
hans vollman
Too many to enumerate.
the reverend everly thomas
So many wills, memories, complaints, desires, so much raw life-force.
roger bevins iii
It occurred to us now (as Manders, lantern held high, preceded the President into a grove of trees) that we might harness that mass power, to serve our purpose.
hans vollman
What Mr. Vollman had been unable to accomplish alone—
roger bevins iii
Perhaps all of us, working as one, might.
the reverend everly thomas
And so, as the lantern-light fell out aslant before us, I requested that everyone therein, all at once, exhort Mr. Lincoln to stop.
hans vollman
(We would stop him first, and, if successful, endeavor to send him back.)
the reverend everly thomas
All willingly agreed.
roger bevins iii
Flattered to be asked to do anything at all, or participate in the slightest thing.
the reverend everly thomas
Stop! I thought, and that multitude joined me, each expressing that impulse in his or her own manner.
roger bevins iii
Pause, cease, self-interrupt.
hans vollman
Desist, halt, discontinue all forward motion.
And so on.
the reverend everly thomas
What a pleasure. What a pleasure it was, being in there. Together. United in common purpose. In there together, yet also within one another, thereby receiving glimpses of one another’s minds, and glimpses, also, of Mr. Lincoln’s mind. How good it felt, doing this together!
roger bevins iii
We thought.
hans vollman
We all thought.
the reverend everly thomas
As one. Simultaneously.
hans vollman
One mass-mind, united in positive intention.
roger bevins iii
All selfish concerns (of staying, thriving, preserving one’s strength) momentarily set aside.
the reverend everly thomas
What a refreshment.
hans vollman
To be free of all of that.
roger bevins iii
We were normally so alone.
Fighting to stay.
Afraid to err.
hans vollman
We had not always been so solitary. Why, back in that previous place—
the reverend everly thomas
We now recalled—
hans vollman
All instantaneously recollected—
the reverend everly thomas
Suddenly, I remembered: the showing up at church, the sending of flowers, the baking of cakes to be brought over by Teddie, the arm around the shoulder, the donning of black, the waiting at the hospital for hours.
roger bevins iii
Leverworth giving Burmeister a kind word at the lowest moment of the bank scandal; Furbach drawing out his purse to donate generously to Dr. Pearl, for there had been a fire in the West District.
hans vollman
The handholding group of us wading into the surf to search for poor drowned Chauncey; the sound of coins falling into the canvas bag crudely labeled Our Poor; a group of us on our knees weeding the churchyard at dusk; the clanking of the huge green soup pot as my deacon and I lugged it out to those wretched women of the evening in the Sheep’s Grove.
the reverend everly thomas
The happy mob of us children gathered about a tremendous vat of boiling chocolate, and dear Miss Bent, stirring it, making fond noises at us, as if we were kittens.
roger bevins iii
My God, what a thing! To find oneself thus expanded!
hans vollman
How had we forgotten? All of these happy occasions?
the reverend everly thomas
To stay, one must deeply and continuously dwell upon one’s primary reason for staying; even to the exclusion of all else.
roger bevins iii
One must be constantly looking for opportunities to tell one’s story.
hans vollman
(If not permitted to tell it, one must think it and think it.)
the reverend everly thomas
But this had cost us, we now saw.
We had forgotten so much, of all else we had been and known.
roger bevins iii
But now, through this serendipitous mass co-habitation—
the reverend everly thomas
We found ourselves (like flowers from which placed rocks had just been removed) being restored somewhat to our natural fullness.
roger bevins iii
As it were.
hans vollman
It felt good.
the reverend everly thomas
It did.
hans vollman
Very good.
roger bevins iii
And seemed to be doing us good as well.
the reverend everly thomas
Looking over, I found Mr. Vollman suddenly clad, his member shrunk down to normal size. His clothes were, it is true, decidedly scruffy (printer’s apron, ink-dotted shoes, mismatched socks) but nevertheless: a miracle.
roger bevins iii
Becoming aware of Mr. Bevins staring at me, I glanced over and found him no longer a difficult-to-look-at clustering of eyes, noses, hands, et al.—but a handsome young man, of eager and pleasing countenance: two eyes, one nose, two hands, ruddy cheeks, a beautiful head of black hair in that vicinity so previously overgrown with eyeballs as to make hair a redundancy.
An appealing young fellow, in other words, with the proper number of everything.
hans vollman
Excuse me, the Reverend said somewhat shyly. May I ask? How do I look?
Very well, I said. Quite at ease.
Not afraid at all, said Mr. Vollman.
Eyebrows at the proper height, I said. Eyes not overly wide.
Hair no longer sticking straight up, said Mr. Vollman.
Mouth no longer an O, I said.
roger bevins iii
And we were not the only beneficiaries of this happy blessing.
the reverend everly thomas
For reasons unknown to us, Tim Midden had always gone about dogged by a larger version of himself, that was constantly leaning over to whisper discouragement to him; this behemoth was now gone.
hans vollman
Mr. DeCroix and Professor Bloomer had become unconjoined and, no matter how close together they walked, did not rejoin.
roger bevins iii
Mr. Tadmill, disgraced clerk, who had misfiled an important document, causing the collapse of his firm, and had thereafter been unable to find other employment, and had begun to drink, and lost his home, and saw his wife placed into a sick-box due to excessive worry and their children dispersed to various orphanages in light of his ever-increasing dissipation, usually presented nearly bent to the ground with regret, shaped like one half of a set of parentheses topped with a sad sprig of white hair, quaking all over, moving with extreme caution, terrified of making even the smallest mistake.
But now we saw a spry young tow-headed fellow just embarking upon a new position, full of high hopes, flower in his lapel.
the reverend everly thomas
Mr. Longstreet discontinued his groping, burst into tears, begged Mrs. Crawford’s forgiveness.
roger bevins iii
(It is just that I am lonely, dear girl.)
sam “smooth-boy” longstreet
(If you wish, I can tell you the names of some of our wildwoods flowers.)
mrs. elizabeth crawford
(It would be a pleasure to hear them.)
sam “smooth-boy” longstreet
Verna Blow and her mother, Ella, who normally manifested as virtually identical hags (though both had died in childbirth, and had therefore never grown old in that previous place), now appeared (each pushing a baby carriage) youthful again, utterly ravishing.
hans vollman
Poor multiply raped Litzie became capable of speech, her first utterance consisting of words of thanks to Mrs. Hodge for speaking for her, during all of those mute and lonely years.
elson farwell
Mrs. Hodge, dear woman, accepted Litzie’s thanks with a dull nod, looking down in wonder at her own newly restored hands and feet.
thomas havens
Those miraculous transformations among us notwithstanding, Mr. Lincoln was not stopping.
roger bevins iii
At all.
hans vollman
On the contrary.
the reverend everly thomas
Seemed to be walking faster than ever.
roger bevins iii
Intent on leaving this place as quickly as possible.
hans vollman
Ah, me, mumbled Verna Blow, whose restored youthful beauty struck me as wonderful, even in that moment of colossal defeat.
roger bevins iii
LXXVIII.
I called for the Bachelors, who came at once, and hovered above, dropping down (in their dear and naive mode of attentiveness) tiny graduation caps, as I explained that we were in a desperate situation, and asked them to go forth across the premises and bring back whatever additional help they could enlist.
How exactly would we say it? inquired Mr. Kane.
We aren’t exactly “kings of words”! said Mr. Fuller.
Tell them that we work to save a boy, Mr. Vollman said. Whose only sin is that he is a child, and the architect of this place has, for reasons we cannot know, deemed that, to be a child and to love one’s life enough to desire to stay here is, in this place, a terrible sin, worthy of the most severe punishment.
Tell them we are tired of being nothing, and doing nothing, and mattering not at all to anyone, and living in a state of constant fear, the Reverend said.
Not sure we can remember all that, said Mr. Kane.
Sounds like quite a commitment, said Mr. Fuller.
We’ll defer to Mr. Lippert, said Mr. Kane. As he is senior among us.
roger bevins iii
Although, in Truth, we Three were all of the same age, each of us having come to this Place in the midst of his twenty-eighth Year (unloved & unwed, as of yet), I was indeed, technically, the Ranking member of our little Party, having been here first (& Lonely) for near nine years, at which time I had been Joined by Mr. Kane (deliver’d here by the untimely occasion of an Indian Lance piercing him in the buttocks), after which Mr. Kane and I became an Inseparable Duo, for nearly eleven years, at which time that Young Cub, Mr. Fuller, having made an ill-advised drunken Leap off a Delaware silo, completed our Trio.
And it seemed to me, having given it my Consideration, that it was not in our best Interest to get involved, for this Affair had nothing to do with us, & might Threaten our very Freedom, & burden us with Noxious Obligations, & constrain us in our Endeavor of doing, at all times, Exactly what we Liked, & might even exert a Deleterious Effect upon our ability to Stay.
Terribly sorry, I shouted down. We do not wish to, and, therefore, shall not!
stanley “perfesser” lippert
The hats the Bachelors sent down now were bowlers: black, somber, funereal, as if, for all their habitual levity, they understood the gravity of the moment and, though they had no intention of lingering, regretted not being more helpful.
the reverend everly thomas
But their sadness did not last long.
hans vollman
They sought love (or so they told themselves); and hence must always be in motion: hopeful, jocular, animated, continually looking and seeking.
roger bevins iii
Seeking any new arrival, or old arrival overlooked, whose unprecedented loveliness might justify the forfeiture of their prized freedom.
the reverend everly thomas
So off they went.
hans vollman
“Perfesser” Lippert in the lead, we embarked on a merry chase across the premises.
gene “rascal” kane
Flying low over hills and paths, proceeding at speed through sick-houses and sheds and trees and even a deer of that other realm.
jack “malarkey” fuller
Who, startled at our nearly simultaneous entry and exit, reared up, as if bee-stung.
gene “rascal” kane
LXXIX.
In discouragement, individuals began to abandon Mr. Lincoln.
roger bevins iii
Bundling themselves into fetal balls, and tumbling out.
hans vollman
Vaulting out, with gymnastic flair.
roger bevins iii
Or simply slowing slightly, allowing the President to walk out of them.
hans vollman
Each fell prostrate upon the trail, moaning with disappointment.
the reverend everly thomas
It had all been a flim-flam.
roger bevins iii
A chimera.
the reverend everly thomas
Mere wishful thinking.
roger bevins iii
Finally, passing J. L. Bagg, He Lives Now Forever in the Light, even we three dropped out.
hans vollman
First Bevins, then Vollman, then I.
the reverend everly thomas
Falling out in sequence along the path, near the Muir memorial.
hans vollman
(A cluster of angels, fussing over twin boys in sailor garb, who lay side by side on a slab.)
roger bevins iii
(Felix and Leroy Muir.
Perished at Sea.)
the reverend everly thomas
(It was not well-done. It appeared the angels meant to operate on the young sailors. But were confused as to how to begin.)
hans vollman
(Also, for some reason, a pair of oars lay upon the operating tab
le.)
roger bevins iii
Only then did we remember the lad, and what he must now be enduring.
hans vollman
And roused ourselves, despite our weariness, and started back.
roger bevins iii
LXXX.
And though that mass co-habitation had jarred much loose from me (a nagging, hazy mental cloud of details from my life now hung about me: names, faces, mysterious foyers, the smells of long-ago meals; carpet patterns from I knew not what house, distinctive pieces of cutlery, a toy horse with one ear missing, the realization that my wife’s name had been Emily), it had not delivered the essential truth I sought, as to why I had been damned. I halted on the trail, lagging behind, desperate to bring that cloud into focus and recall who I had been, and what evil I had done, but was not successful in this, and then had to hurry to catch my friends up.
the reverend everly thomas
LXXXI.
The lad lay collapsed on the floor of the white stone home, cocooned to the neck in a carapace that appeared fully concretized.
Lincoln in the Bardo Page 17