“Just,” he flicks turns around to face Mrs Asnakech. He is doing his very best to control his anger. “Just, don’t test me.” He turns around and runs into the ambulance with the paramedic, who is working on IV after laying her properly on the stretcher. Once Gerum enters in with her, he closes the door and it starts moving out the compound.
Bamlakfekad isn’t moving a muscle from where he is kneeling by. Membere doesn’t know what to make out of what Tirgume is uttering about, but one thing is for sure. Adha is still alive. Though she can’t make sense out of she is alive as much as dead. Is she in danger? Where is far, far away from home?
***
Only God knows what I am passing through, but why would he let me pass through all this in the first place? Do you even exist?
I don’t know how to make sense out of what’s going on. It was like yesterday, I was supposed to enter the most important normal phase of my life; getting married whether I was in love for real or not, about to change country with my husband, new job…most of it would have been all about me and what everyone would consider quiet and normal life…boring but still normal.
Just think about it; I was simply walking back home, then I met a stranger and fled with him... to another world and I can’t even say how. How can I, I was busy... well, doing what I was doing with him. I find out that his world is filled with evil though it is beautiful, and that it’s not a place for a man, of course, I also can’t forget that he have other women I share him with... even worst, despite all these things I love him, in a sick way. I also find out that my life is stolen; I understand that I have been missing for years, in my world, while I thought I am just spending, not even a day here, in his world, and I still love him. One or the other way I am willing to do anything to get back home; abandoning the love I need but can’t have. Crazy? I know, that’s what I feel as well, Confused.
Both me and Zhai are kneeled before him, the one and only reason I am here for. He is sitting on a Victorian chair alone as he looks out the window, in a room that is quite and with that chair alone. I can tell he is willing to do something important, something that can be a game changer, but for me…or maybe perhaps it might include Zhai as well.
The room is well groomed that the furnishing is solemnly varnished to its reflective point. Every sides of this room feels like we’re in a box made out of cherry wood, the walls, floor and ceiling. This room feels serene but it creates, this vaguely disturbing feeling, at the same time. The feeling it creates in is a court like semblance and Zhai and I are here for a trial.
It’s hard to make sense out of what’s about to happen but I can tell he is not willing to even look at me. He is suddenly taciturn. It’s frightening for me to see him this way since it means that I won’t have a chance to argue my way with him to anything at all, but time seems to have me deserted to this point; defining moment. This is perturbing for me; how am I going to start my reasoning if he is inarticulate at the moment? I fear what’s about to happen next.
I think I understand how lucky I have been here. I was able to talk and act as I please and I understand that; how special I was and have been ever since I get here, I understand that now. I understand the impact I can have on him, now at this defining moment. If and only if I get to have this one chance, second chance, I will do my very best to turn the table and play the card to my favour.
Whenever I used to have hard times back in high school, my Mum used to say, ‘enjoy your worst moments to test victory’, and whenever I’m home to visit Dad and manage to feel sad he always, I mean, always say that I can’t always throw a wedding party all the time. I used to think Dad is always throwing a concerned talk about how to use my expense wisely and Mum is about the result to what I do now. Truth is they are both talking about being wise; I have to know happiness isn’t something I should always expect in my day to day life and I should be wise enough to love my hard times to find solutions to my problems.
All this time I’ve been absent minded. I am not calm enough to think wisely; I have been letting my emotion get in the way of wise and tactical decisions expected from me.
Question now is, how lucky will I be?
Chapter Thirteen
“It wasn’t easy for me as well, but things happen, and I was not able to control it at all.” Teddy is not able to look in their eyes to speak with Adha’s parents about what he is here to tell them about. He knows what they are passing through and he was never there with them to help or even make it feel easy.
“Now,” Bamlakfekad sits at the tip of his seat, looking at Membere, who is sitting baffled to what she just heard. “Tell me,” he says and exhales long. “Is he saying that he is moving on with another girl and that girl is the one and only Meron?” he asks Membere and Membere is listening in silence.
“The question is,” she gapes hesitantly on what to say to him. She still can’t understand what’s going on here. “Before I translate any of what you are saying to my husband,” she points to Bamlakfekad with her right hand’s finger to her right side. “I am going to give you a chance to explain to me why Meron?” She tilts to her left, closing her eyes to digest the thought. “Of all the girls in the whole world, why her best…childhood best friend?” Pressing her lips down, she asks arching her forehead at him.
He is dressed in blue jeans and black t-shirt. He looks happier and relaxed but different; he is usually dressed in style, but now, it seems as if he just changes his style. It’s obvious he has moved on and no one can blame him on that, but he is scared that the news of it being with Meron might not be favourable for them, as well for many others who know them both.
“I,” he gulps air in heavily and clears his throat hard. He still doesn’t find the courage to see them in the eyes. “I know I was not here for any of you, but I did my very best on my own. I looked for…”
“I am not asking you that,” Membere stops him from proceeding on his explanation, closing her eyes as she tries to show her less interest in what he wants to tell her.
“Truth is,” he steals a glimpse of her, “We all were looking for her in every way and…” He shakes his head, pressing his lips down.
“And you and Merry…Meron.” She elevates her eyebrows up. “Meron,” she nods, analysing where and how the connection starts. “You get close in the meantime?” she asks, trying to be sure of her theory.
“Will you make it clear for me?” Bamlakfekad asks her once again. He only gets fractured understanding to the English conversation his wife and Teddy are having.
“He is trying to clear it for me, then I will tell you,” she says through her teeth. “Is that it?” she asks Teddy louder, turning to him.
“It’s been three years and I did my best…we did…”
“Speak for yourself,” Membere utters, “She’s clearly not here and you are here because you want to make us understand.”
“True, but somehow I have to move on and start my own life.”
“No one is saying you can’t. I am only asking you why her friend.”
“Because she was the one who was there for me. She understands how hard it was on me; losing your daughter, the police officers checking on me over and over again…everything.” He clears his throat, “I am having a hard time, and nobody understands me.”
“Clearly, you are over her, my Adha. Everything you say about her should be stated in past tense.”
“I still feel pain.”
“You can’t move on with pain.”
“What are you two talking about?” Bamlakfekad hits his lap with his palm. “Tell me,” he says and Membere holds him on his hands to calm him down.
“You’re right, she is healing me and I am ready. This time around, I am not going to mess it up or miss my chances,” he says and gets up towards them. He is hoping to get their blessings; kneeling down before them and hear them saying their approvals, even though he knows he wouldn’t get it. Three years and they still didn’t give up on her; they were asked with neighbours and friends, but no
, they are not willing to declare her death. Either way, he wants to try and fail than to go on with it on his own will.
“Stop.” Membere holds her hands in the air towards him and he ceased on his steps and slowly sits back to his seat. “I’m happy you moved on and sad you say you’re in pain. I would have loved to bless you if it was someone else, but this is almost as if you are marrying her sister.”
“I think I have enough of this,” Bamlakfekad stands and Teddy stands in shock.
“I said stop,” she whispers as she holds Bamlakfekad on his hand and he looks down to her. Closing her eyes, she nods in ways of telling him to sit back and he sits. “I hope you’re not expecting us to be at your wedding. You should go now,” she presses a forced smile and turns her attention to her husband.
“I know this is hard, but I am so sorry.”
“No need to be. Just go,” she says and shakes her head and turns to Bamlakfekad. Slowly, Teddy starts to his way out. “How about,” he stops and turns to look at Membere, “How about Kate and Tarik? Did they know?” she asks, concerned, since they were here quite frequently and never mentioned this. He shakes his head and she breathe in relief and he walks out. He did expect this but the point is he also did what he thinks is right.
“How could he do this?” Bamlakfekad asks and bites his lower lip hard.
“How could they do this?” she utters. “But truth is that they are not her family and we are. You can’t ask anyone to wait for her the way we do.”
“I know,” he says, shaking his head. “Three months since…” he holds his right hand in the air, trying to remind her of their craziest times.
“Since we have hope, for real,” she presses a smile. “Have you noticed that we never fight ever since; we are together like before.”
“I like that,” he shares a smile, though the doubt is killing him. He doesn’t know what to believe any longer. He wants to go out and look for her, get her from wherever she is. The waiting is killing him slowly and it’s not in his nature.
“Look,” Membere turns him to herself, imprisoning his cheek between her fingers and pulling him down to herself. She looks into his eyes like an expert in interpreting his thoughts through them. “I know you think it’s not right to wait for her. I share the feeling too, but truth is we have no choice but to keep praying and waiting.”
“I know,” he utters, nodding, and presses a smile.
The real picture is the fact that they are both fine because they are both looking for her on their own. She is paying for a search in Canada and he is receiving help from his friends here in Ethiopia.
***
I hate silence. It makes me feel alone and I hate being alone; that is the major reason I would let everyone in my life to choose and decide for me.
Swallowing nothing down my dry throat, I sit back on my hills and stay still and up, looking up to his direction. He is still looking out the French window to the sparkling and aura-coloured dark sky. His presence is a little darker in the room, but I can see his partial face from where I am sitting by; behind him and to his right side, unlike Zhai, who’s kneeled completely behind him. The tall warrior ladies-like creatures are still in the room, waiting for some sort of cue to attack us; me and Zhai…at least that’s what I feel like. I can also feel Katrin feeling satisfied of the situation that we are into at the moment.
I can tell that he is thinking about something. It’s hard to say if it is on positive of negative thoughts, but he is thinking. His right arm is still on the banister of his chair, his hand in the air as his thumb rubs against his fingers; starting from his small finger all the way up to his ring finger, to his long finger and at last his index finger.
Stretching up from my hip, I look up and out the French window to share the view with him. I am the only one moving, even Zhai is bowed to the ground and quiet. I turn to look behind me and I see Katrin standing but with her head bowed down. I press my lips to the centre; I hate her already but I hate her even more. I anyway clear my throat hard and he turns a little to his right, giving me a partial view to his right side of face. What would I say? I wonder biting my lower lip hard.
Just as I gasp, he rises his right arm up in the air, his elbow still on the banister, his index-finger slightly raised, as if he wants to silence me before uttering a word. After a moment, his four fingers start leaning them back once, directing the two lady creatures to leave the room and it takes them no moments to do as ordered. As they leave, I can feel a hit of wind blowing my hair from my back to my chest and a slight push makes me move forwards and I press on my chest with both my hands; my left hand over lapping on my right.
I slowly look over my left shoulder to check if Katrin is still here and I see her hair cleared to her back. She can’t help but to keep the fixed smug reaction on her face. No need to lie about how beautiful she is, and I am feeling a bit envious whenever she is around. I want to show I am in power but now seems the wrong time and all I feel is a capability of nothing at all, that’s what the situation seems to allow me of.
Once again, everything falls back to that killing silence and his fingers are back to their recitation; his hand in the air, elbowing the banister. He leans to his right on his right elbow, trying to get as comfortable as he could. He turns to his right, giving us all a clear look to his right side of his face.
“What did she say to you?” he utters finally, and I gasp, thinking if he is talking about the intruder or not. I swallow hard and press my lips hard, frowning.
“I heard her…” Katrin utters from behind me but he stops her from proceeding, spreading his five fingers in the air.
It’s loud and clear – stop talking, I wonder, smiling. I look to my left, where Zhai is bowing by and I roll my eyes at not being able to share this moment with her. I look back to him and I see him ordering her to leave the room. I can sense her disappointment; I can get it coming from her heavy footsteps on her way out, and her breath sounds heavier since she blows out loud.
“If there is something, I would say to you,” he says quietly. “I will definitely say it to you on time.” I don’t know who he is talking with that I frown, baffled. “Best if you follow Katrin’s steps, Baozhai.” I gasp and turn to face her.
She stands, uttering nothing at all, and as we lock eyes, she tilts to her right in feeling sorry for me as much as she is scared for herself. I don’t know why but I am now fearing the fact that I have to be alone, but I nod to her in the way to say that ‘I will be fine’. For real, though, will I be okay? I ask myself as I walk her out all the way to the door with my eyes. In fear, I slowly turn to see him.
“Now, tell me,” he says and presses his hands in a fist and the door slams shut loud. Yelping in shock, I get jumpy and flick turn around to the door; my right hand pressing on my chest as my left muffles my lips.
***
Katrin hates to be challenged and the fact that things are going different ever since Adha’s arrival, she is hating it. She was not always like this before; egocentric. Things weren’t easy for her. Her childhood roughened her up, shaped her into someone she doesn’t want to become…but someone she embraced to stand out as a winner.
She was born in Stanford-Upon-Avon, in London. Life was a struggle for her and her family, but one day her father got a job offer to New York and everything changed just like that. It was not simple at first, for her; new school and friends and things start to get complicated the more she tried to show. She was making friends with the white’s and she even had friends from the coloured as well. They move to New York, at the rise of Martin Luther King and she was not choosing a side though it was trouble for her.
She was beautiful, and the day she starts dressing up, things totally changes just like that; popularity, love and heart break happened. From a girl who was quiet, smart and beautiful, she transforms into the today’s Katrin. All she was hoping was to have a normal life but she just couldn’t have it. She realises the power in her look and things were easy.
Guys
were her easy target and simply because she was most wanted by most popular kids at school, every girl were ready to befriend her. She managed to turn the cards, she become the centre of attention and attention manages to benefit her. She used to hate to be one of those girls who would use other people’s emotion to benefit themselves with, but she needed to breathe life up on her high school times.
When she joined university, she fell in love and for once in her life she stopped everything. It’s almost as if she was experiencing a rebirth; it was all in colour, too right and positive. She started dreaming and planning for their future, but betrayal took everything away from her, again; her best friend took her man from her and she was once again back in her playing mood, but it was more minacious and demonic.
After her graduation, she manages to end her professor’s marriage and started to plan hers with him. It was all about power for her and of course money but the night before her wedding, she got her calling, heard her name called outside of their apartment. She simply left her bed, her man alone and dead asleep and walked out their room just like that; no puppeteer over her body or self-control, she just quietly walked out the bedroom and to the main door. She opened it and walked to a grass field; it was odd since their apartment was on the third floor and the building is one of the building among many others. It was odd and she knew it was but couldn’t question anything. She walked and to a man who was waiting for her in the middle and naked; no question asked and answered but, in that night, she lay beneath him and him on top of her. She knew someone must have done something to her, someone must have gave her up as an offering to this man, she felt it, that there is an incantation she couldn’t explain about, but in her long duration in his world, she learn to love him more and more every day, as much as she start enjoying everything in this world; learning their ways and respecting their space, she is also developing skills she never thought she would have in her.
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