by Thom Young
“Beloved church family and distinguished board. It is my great concern that there is a great blasphemy amongst us; it is the spirit of Satan himself. A great harlot has been carrying out his agenda specifically among the Ladies Bridge Club. This harlot not only leads the den of iniquity, but has subjected my own mother to a brainwashing program. The harlot has caused great strife to me personally, and an upheaval in the God ordained family unit. I know for a fact that the harlot as prophesied in the Revelation of Jesus Christ is none other than our beloved pastor’s wife. Alice Walker. It is with much regret, that I bring this urgent matter to the board. I recommend that Pastor Ray’s salary raise be reneged, and call for his immediate resignation, and take his harlot with him.”
Max walked off the stage, and towards the back door. There were a few moments of silence, but then voices could be heard. Max heard one as he walked outside.
“What is this? Is this true pastor? Shall we take a revote?”
The first day of work was boring. Thompson showed Max where his desk was, and how to turn on the computer. This was followed by a pep talk about First Angelina. How the bank prided itself on customer service, and did things with integrity. Thompson introduced Max to the other employees, followed by a small staff luncheon. Max felt he was surrounded by imbeciles. The job was going to easier than expected. The bank’s level of competence was just a step above of the mullets at Angelina Junior College. Thompson mentioned he would be out of the office the next day, and that Max could just get more acquainted with the bank.
The next day Max put his plan into action.
“Hello.”
“Willie. It’s Max Wilson.”
“Max. Good to hear from you. You need a take out order?”
“Not today. I’ve got great news. I’m now vice president of First Angelina Bank.”
“You’re joshing me.”
“Not at all. You can walk across the street and see for yourself. The real reason I called, is to tell you that you’re approved for a loan.”
“Really? That’s great!”
“It’s true. I ran the numbers with Thompson today. Told him about your unfortunate situation.”
“You don’t know how much I thank you.”
“You’re welcome. If you have an account number, I’ll transfer the money today.”
“Sure do. How much the loan for?”
“A million dollars.”
Silence.
Max was able to crack the bank software quite easily; he got the money to Willie in about an hour. Max told the other staff he was taking the rest of the day off. He managed to transfer about ten thousand to his own meager savings account at Panther Credit Union. Mother opened it for him in the fifth grade. He figured Thompson wouldn’t even know the money was missing for awhile.
The president of First Angelina went work the next day.
“Where’s Max?”
“He said there was a family emergency in Florida,” the secretary said.
“Did he say when he was coming back?”
“Didn’t mention it,” the secretary said.
Thompson went into his office. He opened his favorite calendar, and checked the dates for his vacation. There was a nice picture of a trout at the top of the calendar. He glanced out his office window, and noticed a bull dozer and giant crane at Ames Chicken.
“Must be getting ready to remodel,” Thompson thought.
Max got the package of records on the front porch, and walked upstairs to his room. He put one on the turntable, the wall of guitar feedback hissed through the stereo speakers. He set up the webcam.
“Hensley. Can you hear me?”
“Not good. Is that music in the background?”
The movers came and loaded everything up. Jan called Max outside once everything was packed.
“You know Marge’s address and phone number. I’m going now.”
“You’re really doing it. If that’s what you want, I wish you luck. Those gators have sharp teeth.”
“I love you son. This is the best thing for both of us.’
“I told Patty that you have two weeks to move out. Should be fairly easy with your new job. She’s got tenants lined up after that.”
“Sounds good mother.”
Jan hugged her son, and got in her car. The moving van took the lead, and was soon gone. Max waved, and went back inside. He took a nap, and woke up feeling refreshed. Max walked over to the desk phone, and picked it up.
“Panther Realty.”
“I need to speak with the president of your company,” Max said.
“Just a minute.”
“This is Mark Smith.”
“Mr. Smith. This is Jan Wilson. I’m working with your agent Patty Harris. I’m extremely disappointed in her service. She embarrassed me at my house viewing, and is dragging her feet on selling my property.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. I can reassign Patty to another customer.”
“I want this done. I’m taking my house off the market. Please inform her immediately.”
“I’ll take care of that Mrs. Wilson.”
“It’s Ms. Wilson, and take down all listings of my house on your website and adverts.”
“I’m sorry for this problem. We hope you’ll consider Panther Realty should you change your mind,” Mark said.
“Not a chance in hell.”
Max hung up the phone, and went to make a sandwich.
A month later, the air was blowing cold and all the lights were on. Max sat in his room and worked on his treatise. In the morning, he’d mail a copy to Ben Bernast. The head of the Federal Reserve Bank. He walked downstairs to see if the phone was still unplugged. Max was a bit obsessive compulsive.
“The gators must be licking their chops,” Max thought.
He poured a glass of buttermilk, and burped.
The End
Did you enjoying reading this? What are you waiting for? Go buy my other books.
Thom Young is a writer from Texas. His work has been in 3am magazine, Word Riot, The Legendary, and many other places. A 2008 Million Writers Award nominee for his story Perico. His debut novella Laredo Down has been shocking readers since 2004. His next Sarah had success as well. His novella Gene reached #2 in the Men's Adventure Fiction Free category. His novel The Neighborhood reached #1 in Action Adventure Free Amazon Spain. ZOMBIE, TX followed in 2012. NOMAD hit #4 in Mens Adventure Free, #2 in the UK, #1 in Germany, #1 Action Adventure Free Spain. His short story collection Closing Time hit #1 in Germany Mens Adventure Free. SUCK hit #2 in Mens Adventure Free, #2 Germany, and #4 UK. CHAMP followed in 2012. SEA of IDIOTS is his new book. Thom has become an important voice in underground literature and his Kindle books are growing in popularity.