by Devin Madson
I let go a held breath, fighting the urge to laugh. Malice’s anger pulsed through him, but the struggle did not show on his face as he rose, baring his teeth in smile. Guards approached through the milling court. “Escort him out,” Katashi ordered. “And make sure he takes all his Vices with him.”
Malice did not threaten or rage, just lifted his hand to the guards making their approach. “There is no need to drag me away. I am quite capable of walking, yes? But before I go, I would request permission to remain until the morning. I would see my brother executed with my own eyes.”
The court shifted as one, their hissed words washing over me, but so detached did I feel from the scene that my head might already have been severed from my neck. Malice filled my world. Send him away, I begged. Send him away.
“No.” The word a sharp snap. “I do not trust you, Spider. Consider yourself fortunate that you are leaving with your life. Get them both out of here.”
Chapter 4
Hana
I left the uproar behind, the baying of Katashi’s court slowly drowning beneath my thundering pulse. Frustration had sent me from the throne room, but as I stormed up the stairs, I realised I had no idea where I was going. Tili would listen but would not understand, and I had no other friend, no other confidant who would care for Darius’s fate. I stopped. No, there was one, and annoyed I had not thought of him before, I turned back the way I had come.
The infirmary had likely been full in the days after the coup, but now its occupants had thinned to the sick and the few injured who still had a chance of survival. Mats lay in lines on the floor, and a pair of physicians bustled. One caught sight of me and hurried over, bowing as he walked. “My lady, what an honour for you to grace us with your presence. Is there something you require? Do allow me to wait on you in your apartments rather than have you endure such sights and smells as this poor infirmary.”
He bowed again when he had finished speaking, and though he seemed only to want to help, his deference was unnerving. All Kin’s servants had been polite, but none had treated me with such self-demeaning reverence.
“I am not in need of any help.” The weight of so many curious eyes upon me made me wish Tili would soon alter one of these robes to something more modest. “I am here to see a friend.”
The physician’s fuzzy brows shot into his hairline and he looked around. “Here?”
“Yes, here.” I pointed at the recumbent figure sitting propped against the window seat, his impassive gaze already upon us. “He is well, I hope?”
“Ah, Lord Metai,” he said as I began walking, and it was all I could do not to stop in shock at the sound of both the title and family name I had never known. “He is much better, my lady, but still a bit… slow. Tired. He took quite a beating, and it may be a few more days before he is steady on his feet again. I did ask if he wished to be moved to his own room, as befits his rank, but I’m afraid he refused, and His Majesty—”
I held up my hand to stop him. “Thank you,” I said and went the rest of the way on my own.
Shin acknowledged my arrival with a nod. To have done more looked like it would have been painful. Bruises covered his already scarred face, and a split lip gave him the look of a permanently amused smile.
I sat down on the other end of the window seat as a languid breeze blew in from the small garden. It did nothing to shift the stink of blood and shit that pervaded the room.
“Are you sure you wouldn’t like your own room, Lord Metai?” I said. “It smells pretty bad in here.”
The look he gave me could have rusted freshly forged steel. “I know where I belong, my lady,” he said, his voice croaky, though whether from injury or disuse I couldn’t tell.
“You never told me you were a lord.”
“And you never told me you were a lady.”
“I didn’t have to, you figured that out for yourself.”
Another of his meaningful looks. “At least one of us is observant.”
“I’m observant. You don’t look like any Kisian lord I’ve ever seen.”
“Because I’m not a Kisian lord.”
“Oh? Where are you—”
He snorted a little breath as he shifted his weight, even so small a movement seeming to cause pain. “Did you come here for a reason beyond interrogating me about my family history?”
“You started it!” I said, stung. “If you didn’t want to talk about it, you shouldn’t have needled me for not realising you were a lord. And speaking of lords, yes, I did come for a reason, but some of that reason was to see how you were. I heard… I heard that you fought for me that night.”
Shin made no answer.
“Katashi has named Darius a traitor,” I said when the silence dragged. “He’s to be executed tomorrow.”
“What?”
“He refused to take the oath, and unless he changes his mind, he will go to the executioner in the morning. I know Katashi only wants loyal people around him, but Darius doesn’t deserve this. Without him, I would be dead by now, perhaps a few times over.”
“As true as that is, he was given a choice. That’s more than most men get.”
He scowled down into the small band of garden wedged between an inner and outer wall, its clumps of gaily coloured flowers seeming out of place. Birds sang as they fluttered from branch to branch, blossom to blossom, and I envied them their wings.
Shin was right, yet it still felt wrong, but I couldn’t give voice to the confusion of feelings that writhed inside me.
“Lord Laroth made his mistake in choosing to serve the Usurper,” he said when I made no answer. “That’s two choices he’s fucked up. If he was so clever, he’d not have—”
“That is too severe, Shin.”
“No. Smart men should know better.”
His tone chilled me, but before I could challenge his words, a flurry of activity drew my gaze to the door. The two physicians were bustling forward, bowing deeply with reverent “Your Majesty”s.
“Hana,” Katashi said, striding down the room. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
Such simple words to set my heart racing, and I was desperate not to show it. “I came to see Shin.”
He nodded to his Pike, and Shin nodded back. “Lucky Shin. Shall I leave you?”
“Not at all necessary, Captain,” Shin said, and the way he avoided Katashi’s gaze made me wonder if he was out of favour. Perhaps he had admitted he’d known who I was before the ill-advised mission into the palace.
“I merely wished to thank Shin for risking his life to stay with me. But for him, I might have been dead many times over,” I added, consciously echoing what I had said of Darius. If Shin noticed, he made no sign.
“Then if you are done, will you walk with me?” Katashi asked, the words a cold snap.
I was sure then that he was angry with his most loyal advisor and could only wish I had not been the cause. Donning my own chilliness, I bowed. “As you wish, Your Majesty.”
“Such formality.” Katashi scowled. “Once again, I am foolish to have wished for something more. Shall we?”
With a fleeting smile at Shin, I let Katashi lead the way out of the infirmary and along the passage. I lagged a step behind, pressing cool hands to my hot cheeks.
“We need to talk.” He halted and turned toward me.
“We do,” I agreed. “About Darius.”
“That was not what I meant.”
“You can’t execute him.”
A flicker of fire glinted in his eyes. “Can’t?”
I touched his arm. “You don’t understand. Before I lived with Malice and his Vices, Darius was my guardian. It was his father who saved me from the assassin that killed my family, and I have been in his care ever since. Yes, I know you will say he ought not to have served Kin—”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m going to say.”
“But… I don’t think he left me because he wanted to serve Kin. I think he served Kin to escape Malice.” There had been
real fear in Darius’s face when I had gone to see him that morning, his whole being seeming to flinch away from Malice’s possessive smile. “I mean, when you’re running from the most powerful man in Kisia, where is there to go but to the second most powerful?”
Seeing Katashi’s frown, I wished I had not spoken and let my hand fall. “I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I just… don’t want you to kill him.”
“He gave me no choice, Hana. What else could I have done after what he said? Lord Laroth was the leader of Kin’s armies. He is too important, too dangerous, and has made too great a scene to just be imprisoned.”
It was true. There was no going back, and yet I had loved him once, the grand, awe-inspiring guardian I had followed everywhere. He could have told me I was no one, he could have chosen not to educate me, not to encourage me, not to ensure I had everything I needed to become the person I wanted to be, but he hadn’t. And in the end, he hadn’t walked away from his oath.
“Maybe if I talk to him.”
Katashi shrugged. “You may do so if you wish, but you won’t change his mind or mine. Neither about him nor Malice.”
“Oh, you could have executed Malice with my blessing.”
He flicked my cheek. “Bloodthirsty, my dear? Sadly I’ve seen too much of what he and his Vices can do to risk it. His Vices would come for him.”
My thoughts crept around the idea that if Malice didn’t want Darius to die, the Vices would come for him too. Not something to share with Katashi in case he tried to stop them, though whether Darius would be glad or sorry to be beholden to Malice was a whole other question.
I stared at the floor, trying to unravel the puzzle that was my guardians and the complicated feelings they had left tangled in my heart. How could love and gratitude be so caught up with disgust and dislike, as though I were two different people sharing the same skin? Perhaps that explained how I could be glad Kin lived despite the anger I could not let go.
When I finally looked up again, it was to find Katashi with his arms folded, frowning down at me with the same haughty annoyance he had once shown Captain Regent, and I had to laugh. “Oh dear, was I ignoring you, Your Majesty? Do accept my humble apologies, my thoughts were elsewhere.”
“And that isn’t even the cruellest thing you’ve said to me today.”
At his words, I was back in the council chamber with his head between my legs, and I couldn’t meet his gaze. “I’m… I’m sorry, cruelty was not my intention. I think perhaps it would be best for me to leave Koi as soon as I can to spare—”
“And where would you go?”
“I’m not sure yet, but I know I can be of better use to Kisia elsewhere rather than sitting around in pretty robes with nothing to do but be stared at and whispered over by everyone who comes to pledge you their allegiance. You of course, not me.” I hated the stark bitterness in my voice. I had dreamed so long of sitting on my father’s throne and ruling his empire, but Katashi’s success had only made mine more difficult. What lord or soldier loyal to the Otako name would ever choose to fight for me when they could fight for him? “Perhaps I will…” I fluttered a restless hand. “Hand out rice sacks to the poor and treat the injured.”
Katashi’s frown was back. “Would you really prefer to do that than marry me?”
“Katashi, it’s not… you, I—”
He winced and held up a hand. “You don’t want to be subjugated to a man, yes, I remember. But you haven’t actually allowed me to say why I came looking for you in the first place.”
“Oh?”
“Now that I am the emperor, I cannot by law also be the duke of Koi. I could grant the right to someone else, but as far as I can tell from a brief look in the records, it has never truly been held by any but an Otako.”
I stared at him, and he shrugged almost apologetically. “It is your choice of course, but you could stay. You could have a title and a position that didn’t rely on anything quite as heinous as a man.”
“Are you mocking me?”
“Not intentionally.”
“Duke of Koi?”
His lips quirked into one of his half smiles. “Duchess, really, but… yes. If it is what you want. There are a lot of details that would have to be considered and… understandings we would have to come to, but those are conversations I would rather not have in a hallway, however deserted it might appear to be.” He lowered his voice and stepped close. “I learnt that lesson the hard way this morning.”
His words heated my cheeks, but I said, “When would it be convenient for you to discuss the details, Your Majesty?”
With a self-mocking little laugh, he stepped back. “Set down again. I am dining with my generals and some of the lords who have been so generous with their funds, but I will come to see you after if you are not too busy handing out sacks of rice and tending the injured.”
“Shall I organise for a scribe to join us?”
“As you wish,” he said, retreating behind his chilly imperial façade. “Until later then, Lady Hana.” And he made a mock little bow before striding away, his ill temper, like his robe, trailing behind him.
I spent the rest of the day consulting with Master Woti, an imperial scribe who had travelled with the court from Mei’lian and chosen to give Katashi his oath. Once he got over the shock of my request, he entered into the discussions with gusto, took down all of my requests, and promised to bring draft papers up to the castle that night.
With nothing else left to do, I spent the evening in a state of restless anxiety, flitting between plans of what to do with my own position and fears that Katashi hadn’t meant it at all. Tili drew me a bath and sat chatting about how far away everything was, and how shocked a local seamstress had been when she had requested black silk for my tunics, and a dozen other things that seemed to have the purpose of diverting her mind as well as my own.
She left me alone with my thoughts when a serving girl brought my evening meal, and I sat picking at it, wondering how long I would have to wait for Katashi. If he was dining with lords, it could be a long night, but I was just wondering whether to reschedule with Master Woti when a knock sounded on the door and Katashi walked in.
“No scribe yet?” he said, dismissing his two Pike guards with a nod and sliding the door closed behind him.
“No, but I’m sure he will be here soon. You’re rather earlier than I expected.”
“A messenger arrived that turned our dinner into a terse strategy meeting, not the sort of thing one lingers at to enjoy.” Possessing a restless energy, Katashi strode around the room—stirring coals in the brazier, checking the latch on the shutter, then plucking a chestnut from the remains of my dinner. Crunching it between strong teeth, he finally stopped long enough to look at me. “Kin is at Risian.”
I was as startled by the unexpected news as by the flash of relief I had not thought to feel. “What? How?”
“I don’t know, but however he got out of this castle, he has now made it safely back to his own territory.” Katashi ground the remains of the chestnut, his fierce gaze raking over me. “I had hoped to avoid as much bloodshed as possible, but this changes everything. I march out the day after tomorrow with half of my army.”
“You were always going to have to fight,” I said. “Whether it was against him or his family or his generals, you were going to have to fight for this.”
“Yes, I was.” Some of his frustration drained out in a sigh and he pointed to the table. “You have thoughtfully supplied wine for the upcoming discussions. I hope you know I am quite capable of drinking a substantial amount without making rash decisions.”
“That,” I said, bristling, “is not at all why we have wine.”
“No? You must prove it by drinking with me. I will only drink a bowl if you do too.”
“Then I will be the one making rash decisions because I am not as used to it.”
He laughed. “One bowl will not impair your bargaining skills I am sure. Come.”
I joined him at the ta
ble and accepted a bowl he poured himself, the act one of special respect, though he did it seemingly without thinking. While I nursed mine, he lifted his to his lips and savoured the taste. “That,” he said, letting out another sigh. “Is much better. Now, as the border of your land will remain unchanged, I feel the most important things to discuss are the size of your tithe and the number of soldiers that have to be supported as part of my standing army.” He took another sip, looking over the bowl at me. “Well?”
“You’re really going to do this?”
“I said I was, didn’t I?”
“Yes, but… I am well used to being humoured. Malice and Darius never opened their mouths but to mock.”
He set his bowl down and leant on the table, bringing his bright eyes close enough that I had to fight the urge to look away. “Do I look like I’m mocking you?”
“No,” I admitted, escaping the intensity of his gaze for an instant by glancing down at my wine bowl. I drank a mouthful, as much to cover my sudden breathlessness as for something to do.
Ceramic scraped on the table as he picked up his wine again. “Good,” he said and, still watching me over the rim of the bowl, took another sip. I did so too, my skin prickling with heat. He hadn’t done anything to make me think back to the morning on the floor of the council chamber, but there I was, wanting him to touch every inch of my skin.
No, don’t think about that, I told myself. The papers were more important. If he was not mocking me, then I was so close to holding a position of wealth and power in my own right, a position only a step away from the throne I had always wanted.
“You’re staring at me,” he said. “Must I further convince you that I am serious? I could write up the papers with my own hand if you wish.”
“No,” I said. “That won’t be necessary; I’m sure the scribe will be here soon.”
Yet part of me was beginning to wish he wouldn’t come at all.
Focus, Hana!