“You know how Ernie gets about visitors.” Gaston smiled warmly at Sierra. “It’s nothing personal.”
Tim decided to change the subject before it brought anyone down. “Has Gaston offered to show you his murderball yet?” Tim asked as he took a sip of beer.
“Oh, I thought he was just being super-creepy when he said that.” ShadowLily blushed. “I might have overreacted a bit.”
“We worked it out in the end.” Gaston smiled as he tilted his chair back and lowered his hat over his eyes.
“By throwing knives at each other.” Tim scoffed.
“By training.” The assassin yawned. “I can show her my murderball any time, but what I can’t do every night is give you a gift.”
Gaston’s man came back with three pitchers of beer and two glasses on a tray. “Why don’t you take this to your room and enjoy yourselves?”
ShadowLily planted a hand on her hip and stared at the men around her. “That’s a little presumptuous, isn’t it?”
“Or don’t,” Gaston replied lazily. “But it seems our innkeeper has departed for the evening, and the rest of us are awfully tired.”
“Maybe your friends aren’t as interesting as I thought.” ShadowLily grabbed the tray and glared at Tim. “Lead the way.”
He tried to take the tray, but she refused to let go. It was probably for the best since her higher dexterity would make sure they didn’t lose a drop of the good stuff. He led her up the rickety staircase and into his room. It wasn’t much, but he liked it just fine.
“Not what I was expecting,” ShadowLily said as she set the tray down on the dresser. “The bed even looks comfortable.”
Tim sat down on the bed and patted the spot beside him. “You could come try it out for yourself.”
The half-elf smiled. “I hope you have impure thoughts in mind.”
Tim stood up and bowed to her with a flourish. As he rose, he kept his eyes locked on hers. “Since the day I first saw you, I’ve had nothing but.”
She giggled and launched herself at him. They hit the bed with a thud, and then they were kissing. Her clothes all came off at once, and his quickly followed. Being able to un-equip all your items in a matter of seconds was handy. Tim tried to close his inventory so he could focus on the woman below him but accidentally hit an item.
The shackles he’d taken off Dapper Don’s ship tumbled out onto the ground. ShadowLily looked at them and smiled. “Nice try, tiger.”
“It was a…” The rest of his thought was lost as she took him firmly by the back of the head and pulled him into her warm embrace.
“Let’s worry about it later,” she purred.
“As you wish.” Tim sighed contentedly. Sometimes you really did get what you wanted.
Chapter Thirty
Tastes great, no calories.
Something every girl loved to hear. It wasn’t always true, but in-game, you could eat and drink whatever you wanted and never gain a pound.
How fucking awesome was that?
And the beer. It was so good that she didn’t miss mixed drinks. Sierra had a feeling it wouldn’t take some entrepreneurial gamer much longer to make a still. Then they could order whatever they wanted.
The Etheric Coast was pretty sweet. There was only one thing she missed from home, and it was her dad. Also, Tim had been shit at messaging her since they got into the game. Maybe she should just send him a message and take control of the situation, just to get the ball rolling. It helped that she really did like the guy. Sure, he was a little awkward sometimes, but in a cute way. He also seemed to care about his family, which was always a plus.
Now that they were in the game, she wanted to keep their potential relationship going. When they left the game, they could already have a lifetime's worth of memories together. Imagine getting to spend an extra twenty years with the person you loved. Sierra didn’t know a single soul on the face of the Earth who wouldn’t want to take advantage of that.
Sierra had just started typing Tim an in-game message that they should meet up when Cassie threw herself into the chair across from her with a dramatic sigh. “No one wants to play with me.”
“They make machines for that.” Sierra closed her message screen and looked at her friend.
“Not here. They’ve only got wooden paddles. Imagine the splinters.” Cassie giggled. “But I was talking about grouping together with others to kill things.”
That didn’t make sense. Sierra had found a bunch of different people to group with relatively easily. All she had to do was talk with the people questing around her, and they started killing things together. She looked at her friend with an appraising eye, wondering what could have gone wrong.
“Why?” Sure, Cassie had made her character a little shorter than average, but all that mattered in The Etheric Coast was if she could kill things effectively. Maybe Cassie wasn’t good at combat? Just because you could excel in one game didn’t mean those skills carried over to another one.
“Mostly because I want to be a tank.”
Sierra scanned her friend's gear, which was all leather. She didn’t even have a shield. Cassie did have a rather wicked-looking stick that was bigger than her body, but that was about it. She could tell what the problem was: at first glance, you would think she’d just die, and then you would die, and no one wanted that.
But she’d played with her friend enough times to know she wasn’t a pushover. “Where is the rest of your gear?”
“This is all I need. I’m an avoidance tank.” Cassie looked satisfied with her choice, but Sierra was starting to doubt her sanity.
“What kind of tank avoids getting hit?” Sierra knew they had classes like that in other games, but she preferred to have a standard sword-and-board tank. Her friend was obviously having problems with her class selection, and it was impacting her grouping ability.
“I don’t really avoid it. I kind of just redirect attacks.” She blushed. “Right now, my class isn’t that great, but there is a tanking tree based on dexterity, and I want to be the best at using it.”
“I guess there is only one way I can sing your praises then.” Sierra took another sip of the best beer she’d ever had. “We’re going to have to go kill stuff.”
“Do you really want to?” Cassie asked, not believing her good luck.
“Why not? I’ve never been much of a day drinker.” Sierra stood up. “Let’s go, girl.”
Cassie linked her arm in Sierra’s. “Lead the way, mistress of the dark. I will stand tall in the face of impossible danger as your champion!”
Tugging her friend toward the door, Sierra gave her a quick smile. “And shut the fuck up.”
“Bitch,” Cassie said between giggles as they walked out the door.
“So, what’s the plan?” Sierra looked at the three goblins hovering over a deer carcass.
Cassie peered through the trees at the little green monsters. “I’ll keep them busy, you poke ‘em full of holes.”
“It’s not much of a strategy,” Sierra grumbled.
Cassie grinned at her friend. “Try to keep up.” With a battle yell, she jumped over the log they’d huddled behind and charged at the three creatures.
“Shit.” Sierra dropped into stealth mode. Maybe they’d make it out of this if she could get one quick kill.
The goblins all pulled daggers from the cords they wore as belts. Their faces shifted into tooth-filled grins as they looked at the small woman sprinting toward them. All three of them must have been thinking the exact same thing.
Dinner never ran toward them.
Cassie plunged into the middle of the pack, her bō staff deflecting two of the knives as she spun around the third. The goblins were all chittering and circling her, but the girl was fearless. She spun and dodged, using her staff to keep the goblins far enough away that they couldn’t hit her.
“Is that all you got?” Cassie screamed at the creatures as they tried to circle her.
Sierra watched her friend in awe. While she m
ight have been able to dodge as effectively as Cassie, she wouldn’t have been able to take down all three of them by herself—at least not without getting cut a few times. Sierra used the shadows cast by the trees and the goblins’ fire for cover as she stalked forward, looking for the perfect time to strike.
The goblin in front of Sierra lashed out, trying to hit Cassie. This was her moment. With the goblin distracted, she lunged forward and sank her daggers into the goblin’s back. It fell to the ground, and Sierra ducked back into the shadows.
“Sniggly-figgly fits,” one of the goblins shouted to the other.
The first goblin tried to crowd closer to Cassie while the second scanned the trees for Sierra. It didn’t get to look for the half-elf for long. Cassie spun around the goblin trying to stab her and smashed her bō staff down on the other goblin’s head.
“Pay attention to me, you little green bastard.” Cassie hit him again before spinning and blocking an attack from behind.
The tiny tank moved around until she had both of the creatures facing her from the same direction. She kept her staff moving, prodding and pushing them to keep their focus firmly on her.
Sierra plunged out of the trees again, her blades quickly putting down another goblin. The third goblin turned toward the thief, screaming with rage. It gave up watching Cassie altogether and charged toward Sierra. The half-elf bent her knees, ready to fling herself away from the goblin’s mad rush, when Cassie grabbed something from her belt.
The hook flew out of Cassie’s hands and straight toward the goblin. It latched onto the creature’s ankle, and she yanked on the chain attached to the hook, sending the goblin crashing to the ground. Sierra ran in and stabbed the goblin to finish it off.
“Don’t forget to take their rings,” Cassie said as she unhooked the goblin and started winding the small chain back around her unique weapon.
“Girl’s gotta get paid,” Sierra said, bending down and cutting the steel and silver rings free from the goblin’s noses and ears. “Now let’s see how you do against something bigger.”
“Bigger?” Cassie asked nervously. “How much bigger?”
“Let’s go for an orc this time.” Sierra gazed at her friend, wondering how the five-foot-three girl would deal with a seven- or eight-foot orc.
“I’ve mainly been focusing on things my own size,” Cassie explained sheepishly.
“Well, the dungeon bosses aren’t pipsqueaks. They might be twelve feet tall, so you’re going to have to get used to bigger enemies if you really want to tank.” Sierra watched her friend, wondering how she’d take the news.
Cassie slung her staff over her back and secured it to some kind of strap. “I knew I’d have to face things bigger than me. Almost everything is bigger than I am. I just kind of thought I’d hit level ten and get my class change accomplished first. Right now, I’m basically a thief with a stick.”
“Time to put that fancy-ass stick to use, isn’t it?” Sierra asked, giving Cassie a wink.
“I can tell you one thing it can’t do,” Cassie replied, winking back. “Now, let’s go find that orc.”
“Or maybe a couple.” Sierra knew her friend could handle this. She just needed a little more confidence.
“Let’s not get too crazy.” Cassie grinned. It was nice that her best friend had confidence in her, but Sierra had a penchant for running head-first into things, and Cassie didn’t want to get dragged into another one of her adventures—although their joint quests always ended up being freakishly fun, even if it was just a two a.m. taco run.
“Crazy is as crazy does,” Sierra said, making her voice sound like her favorite chocolate-loving shrimp-boat owner. “Now get tanking. I want to stab something.”
“Holy shit, he’s big.” Cassie ducked behind the tree.
“The bigger they are…” Sierra started.
“Yeah, yeah. Do you keep those motivational quotes on a loop? If we start losing the fight, are you going to tell me to,” Cassie made air quotes, “’hang in there?’”
“Only if he throws you off that cliff behind him.” Sierra grinned at her friend like a madwoman. “Don’t get thrown off the cliff, ok?”
“Easy for you to say. All you have to do is stand behind him.” Cassie watched the orc as he tended the fire in front of the cave. The clearing was defined by the forest on one side and the cliff on the other.
Sierra tilted one of her daggers to the side in imitation of a gangster with a gun. “Tank life.”
Cassie grinned back at her. “Now I get it. You’re delusional.”
“Maybe not delusional, but I am in a hurry to get back to town and take a bath. I’ve got plans to meet up with a certain someone, even if he doesn’t know it yet.” Sierra tapped the back of her dagger on her wrist. “Time’s a-wasting.”
“Did you see that this guy has the other three gold rings we need?” Cassie peeked around the tree again to confirm that. “There is a dwarf named Ironbeard who pays pretty well for them. His assistant even taught me a cool trick for how to clean the items in my inventory.”
Sierra poked her head around the tree and took a peek at the orc. “Do you think three rings means he’s some kind of boss monster? Orcs with one gold ring hit a lot harder than the ones wearing silver.”
“Tell me about it.” Cassie rubbed her shoulder. “But a girl’s gotta eat, ya know?”
Sierra tucked her dagger back into its sheath and crouched to start circling to the opposite side of the clearing. “I’ll wait for your signal.”
“It’s probably going to sound a lot like, ‘Oh, shit I’m going to die.’” She glared at her half-elven friend. “When you hear me screaming for my life, it would probably be the perfect time.”
“I’ll try to make an appearance before you reach the ‘Oh, shit, the orc threw me over the cliff’ stage of the fight.” Sierra stuck out her tongue and blew a raspberry at Cassie before disappearing into the shadows.
“Bitch,” Cassie hissed after her.
It wasn’t like Sierra had picked this role for her. She’d wanted to be a tank. Tanks ran head-first into danger. It wasn’t the danger that bothered her so much; it was the chance of dying before reaching level ten and having to start all over again. “Ladyballs,” she mumbled. “Grow a pair.”
This motherfucker wasn’t going to know what hit him.
Cassie walked around the tree, all five-foot-three-inches of her standing as tall as she could. Pulling her bō from her back, she walked boldly up the path to the cave and the massive orc standing in front of it. The biggest orc they’d seen yet rose from where he had been sitting by the fire and picked up a giant sword.
“Holy fuck, the blade’s as big as I am.” Cassie glanced toward the trees, cursing Sierra for making her do this.
But she’d picked this. In the face of certain death, tanks had to be brash. They had to swagger, or the DPS got skittish.
Looking up at the orc and his massive blade, Cassie paused in the middle of the clearing and spun her bō in a circle before placing it behind her back in a Bruce Lee manner. She held out her other hand, keeping her fingers about an inch apart. “I’ve seen bigger.” Then she made the classic “bring it on” gesture Morpheus had used on Neo the first time they’d fought. “Let’s see if you know how to use it.”
The orc charged across the space between them, sword held above his head with both hands. He bellowed in rage as he bore down on Cassie, who had yet to move. The space between them dwindled faster than a man with a case of severe shrinkage. When the orc was fifteen feet away, he leaped into the air, muscles bulging as he brought his sword down to split the stupid girl in half.
Cassie watched as the orc jumped. She hadn’t been expecting it, but there was more than enough time for her to recover. She spun out of the way, keeping her balance. Was it wrong that she was impressed by how far the big fucker had jumped?
She would have thought having all those muscles would weigh him down.
As the orc struggled to pull his sword out o
f the ground, Cassie went to work with her bō staff. She hit the orc with a rapid series of blows to the ribs. He seemed to shrug them off, still struggling to remove his sword from the ground and not paying an ounce of attention to her, which was pissing her off.
Not to mention that when he finally got the sword free, the orc would have a huge advantage.
Because of his size and the length of the fucker’s sword, Cassie might never get close enough to hit him again, so she had to make him angry enough to stay focused on her now. That way, when Sierra made her move, the orc wouldn’t turn around and kill her before Cassie could gain control.
Cassie stopped slamming her staff into the orc’s ribs and spun in a fast circle, putting all her strength into the swing. Her staff smacked into the back of the orc’s knees, and he stumbled to the ground.
Before he could turn around, Cassie thunked him on the head as hard as she could. Her staff bounced off the orc’s grayish skin with a loud crack. The beast let go of the sword and whirled. He managed to catch Cassie with a backhand, sending her flying through the air as he turned back to his sword.
Now would be a great time for Sierra to appear.
Cassie hit the ground four feet from the edge and skidded toward certain death. Her slide stopped, and she looked down at her boots. The balls of her feet were on solid ground, but her heels were hanging over the edge. She never would have heard the end of it from Sierra if the orc had succeeded in throwing her over the cliff.
Note to self: tank the orc with your back away from the cliff.
Pulling his sword free from the ground, the orc screamed in triumph as he charged toward Cassie. Not ready to back down, Cassie started her sprint, hoping to meet his charge farther from the edge. Just before they would have collided, Cassie threw herself to the ground and slid under the orc's blade, coming to a stop behind him.
“Mouthbreather!” Cassie screamed as she rushed at the orc. Her staff crashed down on the back of his head, but it only seemed to piss him off.
Rise of the Grandmaster Page 24