ShadowLily was an amazing person, not just a great ass in really tight pants. She was the kind of woman you’d give up a kingdom for. There was no way he’d even consider cheating on her. Besides the fact that it would hurt her, he liked his penis attached to his body too much to risk it.
His girl kinda had a thing with knives.
Not that he’d blame her for removing his manhood for straying. There were certain things you don’t do. If your marriage isn’t working out, you should work on it or end it then move on. Don’t just cheat and hope for the best. Cheaters always get caught; it’s only a matter of time.
On the flip side, it was crazy how fast people decided to get married now. Dating for a few months wasn’t exactly a reliable benchmark for building a marriage. How can you ever know someone well enough to get married if you’ve never lived together?
Those dishes in the sink don’t magically clean themselves.
Put yourself in the best position to succeed. Find someone who vibes with your vibe and be happy. A lot of people get in a relationship with a fixer-upper or someone they think they can change. It’s not always a mistake, but it could be a giant one.
Like trying to get Xander to stop drinking.
If changing bad habits was easy, more people would do it. Not that Tim had a wealth of experience on marriage, considering he’d only witnessed other people’s. Relationships, like anything else, worked differently for different folks, and until he met ShadowLily, he’d never been what you’d call successful in the relationship department.
But Tim didn’t need to worry about the stresses of marriage or divorce just yet. Things were going amazing between him and ShadowLily, and while they were together most nights, they still each had their own place. It was too early to know exactly where their relationship was leading, but all indications said it was somewhere great.
With his back feeling a little better, Tim made his way out of the cell he’d been sleeping in and toward the common room. Today might be a really long day. They needed to come up with the plan to stop the sheriff. He had absolutely no idea how to do it, but he was confident if they all worked together, they could bring him down.
Baron waved Tim over to his table as soon as he entered the room. “I’ve got a bowl of slop for you.”
Tim peered into the bowl, relieved to find out it was only oatmeal. “Looks ok.”
“As far as oats in a bowl go, it’s not half bad.” Baron swirled his spoon through his oatmeal. “But after a few years, it might as well be that stuff I wiped off your neck last night.”
Looking into his bowl, Tim rethought how hungry he was. He shoved the bowl back into the center of the table. “Maybe I’ll be hungrier later.”
Baron laughed. “Better get used to it, boy. I’ve been here ten years, and the food’s always been the same.”
Tim couldn’t stop the shudder from running through his body. Having to eat oatmeal every morning for the rest of his life sounded horrible. There were so many great breakfast foods. You could have eggs with just about anything, and the same with pancakes or waffles. Then you got into the fun stuff: sausage, ham, English muffins, hollandaise sauce.
The options were endless.
A life of just oatmeal wasn’t a life at all. How could they expect a person to survive on such lackluster fair? It reminded Tim of watching The Matrix. Keanu woke up on the ship, and his first meal was protein slop. Imagine going from endless possibilities to gruel. Kinda made a guy wish he’d stayed plugged into the power grid.
Food was the one thing that Tim would allow himself to get plugged into the Matrix for. He loved eating. What he hated about being here was that there wasn’t a Joe’s. He missed being able to go to his favorite spot and order a meal. He’d been going to the diner for years without knowing it was owned by Sierra’s dad. His opinion of the food was solely based on his stomach and not the fact that his girlfriend’s dad ran it.
If only they had a Joe’s in the game.
Tim smiled as he thought about how much he’d taken breakfast for granted. Now that he was in the clink, he saw the error of his ways. If there weren’t more important things to be worried about, he might just sit around thinking about food for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, the sheriff had to be dealt with, and time was of the essence.
“Any ideas after our conversation last night?” Tim watched Baron, wondering who he’d have to kill to get a glass of rumpleberry juice.
“Just that we need to keep a better eye on each other. I’ve spread the word that we’re all going to sleep in the common area and that no one should go anywhere alone.” Baron looked at his bowl and pushed the half-eaten mess away. “Not that it will do us any good.”
“That’s simply not true. The sheriff ran or vanished when he heard just the two of you coming. I think if there were enough of us, we could simply overpower him.” Tim shrugged. It sounded too easy, so it probably was. It was more likely he just didn’t want to be caught. The longer he could keep up the illusion of being sheriff, the safer the creature was.
“While I’ve never seen anything like what I saw last night, I think cutting his feeding tube off would probably help.” He looked at the mushy oatmeal, thinking about the slime that was on his neck. “If we can grab it.”
“Sounds like we’ll need bait,” Baron mused.
“I don’t like the sound of that,” Henry said as he joined them at the table with his own bowl of soggy oats.
“I don’t know, I thought you liked being tickled by big burly men,” Baron tossed out casually.
Tim almost burst out laughing, but a quick glance at Henry told him laughing at the man wasn’t a great idea. Henry had been dealt a solid burn; Baron had definitely scored a point.
The red spots faded from Henry’s cheeks and he smiled. “Who I let tickle me and how I like them to look is none of your business, you old bastard.”
Baron just grinned from ear to ear. “Seems like we found our bait. Now we just have to figure out how to deploy him so we make the catch.”
“Spoken like a true fisherman.” Tim wondered how a fisherman ended up in this hell hole. Although Baron did seem awfully comfortable coming up with a plan to put one of his own at risk. Maybe he was a pirate?
Oh. My. God. Tim was sitting across from an honest to goodness pirate.
One thing they never talked about in pirate movies was how the men survived. Yes, most of the boats had a selection of dry stores and fresh water, but those only lasted so long. For life out at sea, you needed certain skills. A man who was handy with a fishhook and a blade would be a huge bonus.
It wasn’t easy to bring his mind back on track, but Tim managed to do it eventually. He was just about to say something clever when the sheriff walked into the room.
Jon Hobbs focused his eyes on his target and scratched his belly. “I’d like a word.”
Tim stood up. “Might as well say it in front of everyone. It’s not like they are going anywhere.” A few of the men laughed, but Tim felt his heart beating faster. He needed as many people around as possible to make sure he wasn’t attacked.
“Out!” the sheriff roared.
People found other places to be and quickly. Only Henry and Baron remained behind. They hadn’t seen the sheriff last night, but his appearance today sealed their belief in Tim’s story. The man who never came into the dungeons was here, and that was all they needed to know.
Tim looked behind the sheriff and noticed that he’d brought two guards with him. The guards appeared to be on edge. Being trapped in prison filled with men who only ate potatoes and oatmeal didn’t seem to agree with them. He would have been nervous too. A sword in this small space wasn’t going to do you a lot of good if enough men charged you.
The sheriff, on the other hand, looked calm as a cucumber. “Did you not hear what I said?” He pointed at Baron and Henry. “Get the fuck out of here. I need a word with Tim alone.”
“I think we’ll stay,” Baron replied off-handedly as if he were comme
nting on the weather. “Our friend here was just telling us the most interesting story.”
The sheriff’s eyes almost burst out of his head. He focused all his rage on Tim. “Stories are best left for the children at bedtime, don’t you think?”
“This was more of a scary story,” Tim quipped. “Not suitable for children at all.”
“I see.” The sheriff’s rage melted, replaced by a look of icy indifference. “Nothing to be done about it now. I just hope that these two don’t have an accident while you’re away.”
“While I’m away?” Tim spluttered. The statement didn’t make sense. The sheriff wouldn’t just let him go, not after what he’d seen. Was the man telling him that he was going to die now? Were Baron and Henry due to meet a similar fate since he told them what happened?
If that was the case, he was going to go down fighting.
Jon Hobbs held up his hands in a disarming manner. “I was thinking about ending this right now, but there is a very persistent bitch upstairs waiting for you, and I believe I’ve come up with a delicious alternative.”
A smile stretched across his face, and he patted his belly. “I’ll be seeing the two of you later.” Jon pointed at Tim. “Come with me.”
The only person Tim knew who was powerful enough to get him out of here was the high priest, probably with assistance from Lady Briarthorn. In the movies, the ladies of this era were all “stab you in the back and simper and preen,” but she wasn’t anything like that. Tim wouldn’t be surprised to find out she could handle herself in a pinch.
Only idiots thought of women as inferior.
Think of how much more we could have accomplished if women had been allowed to help more throughout history. Some of the country’s greatest patriots were women, and most of them did it at a time where women were looked down upon. Imagine the courage it took to run an underground railroad when not being escorted by a man when you left the house was considered too forward.
His friends had come to get Tim just like he thought they would, but they’d come too soon. If he left now, the sheriff was going to take it out on these two men. Tim couldn’t let that happen, but he also couldn’t stay.
He turned to face Baron and Henry, unsure of what to say. Thinking on the fly, he reached into his inventory and pulled out his daggers. He flipped the blades over and handed them to the men, hopefully without the sheriff seeing. “I’ll be back for you.”
Baron gave him a sad smile as he tucked the dagger into his shirt. He pulled out a small letter and handed it to Tim. “If and only if I’m not around for some reason, get this to Helen Peters.”
“I’ll see that you get to deliver it yourself.” Tim put the letter in his pocket. He knew what was happening. These men expected to die, and he was pretty sure there was nothing he could do to stop it.
Henry tucked the dagger into his belt. He pulled out a small scrap of parchment and placed it in Tim’s hand. “Felix Hardgrove.” A tear streaked down his cheek.
“I’ll see it done.” Tim looked at the two men. “I will be back for you.”
Quest Received: Dying Declarations
You’ve been tasked with delivering two letters upon the deaths of the men who gave them to you. There is no more sacred duty than getting the last words of a loved one to the people they left behind.
There is no reward for this quest, you selfish bastard, it’s just the right thing to do.
Accept Quest: Yes/No
Tim accepted the quest.
Tim had meant what he’d said to them. If anything happened to these men, he’d make sure their letters were delivered.
It wasn’t that Tim was driven by some bond of brotherhood that formed miraculously after one night. In fact, he kind of disliked Henry. The thing that bothered him was that these men were in danger because of him, and he hated knowing that his actions would lead to their deaths. Sure, the sheriff might have killed them eventually anyway, but he’d helped speed up the process.
The sheriff had to be stopped, but now that he was being set free, Tim had no idea how to make that happen.
“Hurry it up, lovebirds, I doubt the cunt upstairs is waiting patiently. Women tend to overreact to delays.” Jon Hobbs huffed with impatience.
Tim shook Baron’s hand. “Stay safe.”
“I’ll do my best.” Baron poked Tim in the chest with a finger. “You just follow my instructions.”
Henry grinned and slapped Baron on the chest. “Guess I was wrong about him.”
“Holy shit, Henry just admitted he was wrong. Now I can die a happy man.” Baron wrapped an arm around Henry’s shoulders. “Let’s get out of here before the sheriff loses his patience.”
Tim turned away from the two men to face the smug-faced bastard in front of him. “Lead the way.”
The two guards looked relieved as they scurried toward the door like cockroaches trying to avoid the light. The sheriff followed them. Despite his implied impatience, the sheriff seemed happy enough to take his time getting out of the dungeon.
Jon Hobbs’ belly rumbled. “As soon as we get this business taken care of, I’m going to need a snack.”
Tim shuddered, thinking about what it would feel like to be drained by the man in front of him. He’d seen the after-effects and heard the screams that accompanied a feeding. By all accounts, it was something he never wanted to experience. His gut twisted as he thought about all the men trapped down here with this monster in their midst.
He’d find a way to kill the bastard.
Chapter Seventy-Nine
Jon Hobbs walked into the conference room with the swagger of a Greek god.
Tim couldn’t believe that with everything going on, the man felt so confident. Everyone in this room would know his secret soon enough, and then the jig would be up, not to mention the quest Tim had taken to stop him. There was no way he was letting this drop, not when Baron’s and Henry’s lives hung in the balance.
The sheriff couldn’t be allowed to continue feeding on the inmates. Part of Tim wondered if whatever had come back over the mountain could even be considered Jon Hobbs any more. It almost felt like an Invasion of the Body Snatchers type thing. Or even worse, maybe it was more of a The Thing scenario.
In which case, the entire kingdom might be fucked.
None of that mattered when his eyes locked onto ShadowLily. Tim rushed forward, slamming into her hard enough that they crashed to the ground in a tangle of limbs. It’d only been a day since he’d seen her, but it felt like a lifetime apart. When their lips met, he wanted to stay on that spot of the floor forever.
A very polite cough from above them brought Tim back to his senses.
After disentangling himself from the half-elf, Tim smiled at the rest of the collected individuals. “It’s good to see all of you.”
Lady Briarthorn inclined her head to the sheriff. “I see that you’ve honored the high priest’s request. Was there a reason we had to wait so long?”
Jon Hobbs leaned back in his chair like a man sipping tea on the front porch. “Oh, these things take time. I also needed to have a private word with the inmate.”
“We should have done this last night,” Lady Briarthorn fumed.
The sheriff glanced at Tim. “You know, I was just thinking the same thing.” He waved away the inquiring looks from the people in the room. “I’ve concluded the prisoner’s exit interview. You’re all free to go.”
Lady Briarthorn’s cheeks burned at being dismissed, but she forced a smile onto her face. “Then we shall do so at once.” She motioned for everyone to stand.
Tim waited for the room to clear before staring at the sheriff like Clint Eastwood had done in every film he’d ever made. “This isn’t over.”
The sheriff leaned forward, placed his elbows on the table and rested his chin on top of his folded hands. “I’d forget everything you saw. You’re out, and the men imprisoned here don’t deserve your pity. Go and live your life. Let this place be nothing but a dark memory.”
He
could easily walk out of the room and try the old “out of sight, out of mind” trick.
Unfortunately for Tim, that little mind game had never really worked for him. When there was a problem, his brain gnawed at it relentlessly until he fixed it. He couldn’t count the number of nights he’d woken up from a dream about something he was wrestling with. Normally it was something from one of his classes, but every now and then, it was a videogame that kept him up until the first rays of dawn touched the horizon.
You had got it bad when you woke up thinking about the best way to tackle a boss.
The sheriff felt like the kind of problem that would keep Tim up at night until he resolved it. It was mostly because he couldn’t deal with him right now. There was nothing he hated more than leaving quests unresolved. It was the kind of thing that came back to bite you.
There was no way he would let what was happening in the dungeon continue. While Tim didn’t know what the men in the prison were guilty of, he was sure they didn’t deserve to be snacks.
“I’ll be seeing you,” Tim replied as he tipped an imaginary cap to the sheriff. “My guess is it will be sooner than you would like.”
Jon Hobbs leaned back into his chair again, a genuine smile on his face. “I’m looking forward to it.”
The smug fucker thought he could take Tim in a fight just because he was a healer. Jon would learn the hard way that a monster who faced off with the Blue Dagger Society rarely lived to wreak havoc again. In fact, he couldn’t think of one monster who’d escaped death once the guild set their sights on it.
Part of him wanted to say something else, but Lady Briarthorn was waiting at the exit of the tower, and she looked impatient. Tim tapped his hand on the stone and walked out of the room to catch up with the rest of the group.
Just outside the tower, Lucy Briarthorn stopped him. “I’m sorry it took me so long to secure your release.” She looked genuinely worried. “Do you have everything you need for tomorrow?”
Rise of the Grandmaster Page 59