Bernie did, her tears waning, and the throbbing ache in her chest easing.
“So you told him you’d leave? Where did you imagine going?” Violet was back to pacing again.
“I didn’t imagine anything. I just wanted to give him a reason to go home.”
Violet nodded as she paced. “I see. But what if you didn’t leave, and he and his parents only thought you left?”
Bernie smiled. “While I remain right where I am? I like that.”
“So, then they don’t have a reason to ruin your sisters and that gives you time to plan your next attack.”
Bernie went to the hearth and stared into the flames. Their solution was only temporary and did nothing to solve the problem between her and Chester. He needed to think beyond protecting her. To shock him out of his paralyzed state and into action. So what would she do?
Well, first she’d have to let him know that she was not gone. And then she’d have to make him act on his feelings for her, spurring him to make a decision. Either he wanted her or he wanted to remain loyal to his family. Bernie didn’t let herself dwell on the latter.
She focused on her next immediate action. “So where did I go?”
“Where would you like to go?”
“Scotland?”
“Perfect, dramatic but close enough to be reasonable. We’ll say you went to Ablehill. When did you leave?”
“Oh! Why don’t we fake my leaving with a carriage and everything?”
Violet grinned. “Now you’re acting like yourself again. We’ll stage a dramatic exit.”
“But where will I hide?”
Violet tapped her chin. “Hmmm.”
Inspiration struck Bernie, but she bit her tongue to keep herself from laughing like a mad woman.
“The castle? You know we will all lie for you.”
Bernie felt a pang of guilt. She didn’t want them to have to lie, certainly not the dowager duchess or her sisters. Only Violet could know.
“We could book passage on a ship but not have it leave the harbor.”
Bernie grimaced. “That sounds rather expensive. I know what I’m going to do.”
“What?”
“I can’t tell you.”
Violet scowled. “What?”
“It’s better if I don’t. No one can torture you for information this way.”
“Very well, but I trust it’s a ridiculous and absolutely mad idea.”
“It is.”
“Good, nothing short of brilliant mischievousness will do for your needs.”
Bernie smiled but then her joy faded. “What if…”
“Don’t say it.
“I have to. What if he—”
Violet clapped her hands over her ears.
“—doesn’t want me.”
Violet shook her head and grabbed Bernie’s shoulders again. “He wants you. He’s mad for you, all he needs is a push.”
“Off a cliff where love will catch him?”
“Exactly. Men are blind fools when it comes to love. You have to shove it in their face, hit them over the head with it, or in my case, hold him at gun point until his mind catches up with his heart.”
“This sounds a little bit crazy.”
“Love is crazy, but it is worth it.”
“And what comes after? What about my sisters?”
“The after will become obvious only once you’ve both declared your feelings. Things will be so much clearer, and more importantly you will be working together.”
Bernie’s knees trembled but she planted her feet and nodded. Declaring her feelings frightened her, but though she had a momentary bout of cowardice, Violet was right. Cowardice was not like her and if she wanted to save her family and be with Chester, she would have to do it by being herself.
Reckless and bloody determined.
“Right.” Ideas whirred through her mind, crazier than the last. She knew what she needed to do.
“I’ll begin with a letter to Kirkland and my father. Then we’ll sneak me into a carriage.”
“What if he tries to go after you?” Violet asked.
“He won’t. I’ll make it clear that he shouldn’t.” This next part would be the most difficult. The wildest, wickedest thing she’d ever done. All at once she was excited, her heart pounding, her blood rushing through her veins. She grinned.
“That smile seems a tad evil, are you sure you’re certain of what you want to do? If you tell me your plan, I can help.”
“You may try to talk me out of it. It’s best you don’t know.”
“A plan so devious, you won’t tell me? I’m worried now.”
“Don’t be,” Bernie assured her. “My plan doesn’t involve pistols, unlike yours. I’m going to challenge him in a different manner all together.”
Chapter 11
Chester went home, his father and mother hounding him like a pack of dogs.
His father glowered at him. “Where have you been?”
“What have you done? Please tell me you haven’t shamed us all?” his mother cried.
“I went riding,” Chester said, “What the devil is going on?”
“Miss Marsden is missing and it was assumed the two of you bolted up to Gretna,” his father replied.
“Anne is missing?” Chester joked.
His father scowled. “You know precisely which Miss Marsden I mean.”
“I’m certain I don’t know what you’re talking about. Every Marsden was accounted for yesterday when you shamed them into leaving the party early.”
“Don’t pretend stupidity,” his father blustered. “I spoke directly to her father and he went to fetch her. He supports a match. His daughter should be honored to marry a man of Mr. Rupert’s standing.”
Chester fought the urge to roll his eyes.
“Then where is she? You think she disappeared? Ran away with a footman? It doesn’t seem like she’s eager to marry him.”
“That’s because she set her hooks into you,” his mother cried.
Chester shrugged. “It appears not since she’s escaped your manipulations without me. You’d think after so many years of friendship,” he dragged out the word for his parents benefit, “she would appraise me of any major changes in her attitude. But as far as I am aware, she’s at the castle.”
A groomsman came running into the house from the back, huffing and puffing.
“S-sir”—he paused to catch his breath—“a carriage is leaving Castle Selbourne, Dickie says it’s got the lady inside and is bound for Ablehill Castle in Scotland!”
Chester froze, his heart skipping to a rough halt. “She’s leaving?” he said it more to himself but his father heard and turned to him.
“What do you know about this?”
“It appears your heavy-handed actions have driven her away from her own home and country, Father.”
“Alert Mr. Marsden,” Lord Kirkland said to the groom.
“Dickie also gave me this.” He took a folded letter out of his pocket.
Lord Kirkland opened it and Chester and his mother gathered close.
So she was leaving, exactly as she said. But why Scotland? Why Ablehill? Perhaps it was Violet’s suggestion? Her family would protect Bernie but for how long?
“She promises to stay away as long as the threat is removed from her sisters,” Lord Kirkland said as he refolded the letter.
Lady Kirkland huffed and folded her arms. “I suppose it will have to do.”
Chester didn’t agree. He clenched his fists, wanting to yell and curse and bloody hell, chase after her, but her letter had been clear—she had made her point when she’d told him she would leave this morning. But that didn’t ease the twisting dagger in his heart one bit. She was gone and…he… He hadn’t done anything to make her believe she could stay, that she should stay. He’d said he’d protect her and he didn’t. He turned away but his father caught him with a tense grip on his shoulder.
“Tis better this way, Tiberius.”
“Please see it f
rom our side,” his mother pleaded, coming to face him and resting her hands on his arm. “We’re only protecting your best interest.”
“Is that really true? All my life you’ve told me what I should do, even selected my classes. What about what I want? What if I… What if I told you I love her? What if I told you I want to marry her? She makes me happy, she makes me want to leap into the sky so that I can give her the moon. She could be the key to all my future happiness but because she is poor, and her father untitled, you would deny me that. What would you say then, Mother? Is it in my best interest to marry a woman of status even if she makes me miserable?
“What about joy, and laughter, conversation and passion? Does any of that figure at all in a potential spouse to you? Or is it only about money? Something we have never lacked, but you pursue it like you don’t know where your next meal will come. As long as you care for money more than your integrity, the Marsdens will always have more than we will ever have. You need Bernadette more than I do. You could learn a lot from her.”
His mother stepped back, her hand shaking as she brought it to her cheek. “You’ve never spoken to me like this.”
“I’ve never had a reason to until now. But what you’ve done is unforgivable. You hurt people I care about.”
His father’s hand fell away and Chester strode to his room, meeting Jensen at his door as he was exiting, his color high.
“I don’t wish to be disturbed for the remainder of the day,”
“Very well, sir. Shall I leave a tray for breakfast outside your room?”
“Fine.” Chester entered his room, his mind blacker than it had ever been. He ripped off his greatcoat and jacket, throwing them toward his mirror. The weight of both garments caught on the top and the mirror fell back, shattering.
Chester only hung his head and shook it. His body felt like his insides had been replaced by a deep yawning black void.
She was gone.
He hadn’t done enough to make her feel like she could stay. He hadn’t convinced her he would fight for her. She’d asked if they would marry, and he’d been so caught off guard, like a bloody idiot, he hadn’t answered. But in his heart, there could be no other outcome.
What was life without Bernadette Marsden?
Torture.
That’s what it was. Empty of love, sunlight, flowers, good ale, feverish kisses, and all the wicked hours he could have spent making love to her, watching the stars flicker in her eyes as she climaxed around him, hearing her heavenly sighs and breathless moans.
Everything good he could think of was tied to Bernie somehow—hell, he was tied to her. He loved her.
The most fearsome emotion on existence. But he loved her and without her, he didn’t know what meaning life would have or who he was anymore.
He scrubbed his hands over his face, growling. Loathing himself.
He couldn’t give up, he couldn’t—
“Eep!” The sound of shattering porcelain filled the room.
Chester spun, and there she stood.
His breath left him as she sheepishly grimaced and bent to pick up the teacup that laid in pieces on the floor.
“First the mirror and then the growl. I thought perhaps you were transforming into a werewolf.”
“Bernie.” Her name came out as more of a moan and he stalked to her. She straightened, and the teacup was crushed under his boots as he took her into his arms.
“Chester,” she said into his shoulder.
“I thought you left, I thought I had lost you forever.”
“My letter said I’d gone to Scotland not died.”
He pulled away to look down at her and then hugged her tightly again.
“I failed you. I’m sorry.”
She tilted her face up to him. “You didn’t.”
“I did. I see that now.”
“You didn’t want to hurt your parents.”
“And instead I allowed them to hurt you. I consider that a grievous failure, I—” He tensed. “What are you doing here?”
She grinned. “I’m hiding here.”
“In my room.” He backed away, keeping his hands on her shoulders. “And Jensen knows?”
“He seemed less surprised than I would have guessed when I fell through your window.”
Chester’s face went cold. “You came in through my window?”
He went to the window and looked down. They were two floors above the ground level. She could have broken her neck, or worse.
“Are you mad?”
She folded her arms. “It’s become quite apparent I am. You’ve got to pay more attention to me.”
Chester’s mind blanked.
Bernie was here in his room.
He’d all but confessed his love for her to his parent and now here she was.
He tried to gather his thoughts, but there she stood next to his bed, her hair a bit mussed and her cheeks rather pink. Delectable, that’s how she looked. “Jensen knows you’re here.”
“You said he could be trusted.”
He could but—Bernie was in his room. The more he repeated the words in his head the more blood filled other parts of his anatomy and not his brain.
“This is an insane plan. You have a plan, don’t you?”
“I have part of a plan.”
“Part of a plan. Which part is this?”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Are you having an apoplexy?”
He laughed, a harsh single syllable exploding from his chest. “You’re in my room. My parents damn near destroy your family thinking we’re lovers and now you’re in my room.”
Her lips twisted in a coy smile and she took a step toward him, stepping daintily over the shattered teacup. “But they don’t know it. Are you going to tell them?”
His breeches were getting tighter. “The cup. We should clean it up before we cut ourselves and bleed to death.” He stepped around her and swept the pieces with his bare hands, dumping them into the chamber pot.
All the while she watched him with a frown, like he’d lost his mind.
Which he obviously had.
She was in his room for Christ’s sake, a room that he previously thought rather large but now, no matter where she stood, she was somehow always next to the bed.
The large, comfy bed, with silk sheets that her body could glide all over as he moved her—No. He couldn’t go there.
He closed his eyes. “Bernie, what is your plan here?”
He didn’t open them, but he heard her move closer, and he didn’t dare move a muscle as she ran her hands up his chest, his neck, and framed his face.
“I’m going to seduce you.”
Chapter 12
The poor man. He looked terrified. Was he blushing?
His cheeks grew warmer under her hands, and yet he still didn’t open his eyes.
“Chester, look at me.”
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
“You’re in my room.”
“So?”
“We’re—did you say you plan to seduce me?” He at last opened his eyes.
Bernie grinned. “I did.”
He backed out of her hold, shaking his head. “This is a terrible idea, maybe your worst yet.”
“I got it from you. Where is the place they are least likely to look? And you said your valet could be trusted.”
“But…how long do you think you can stay here? And if the point is to stop my parents from thinking we’re together, how does this help? If you’re discovered here, they will certainly think that we’re… That we’ve been—”
“You’re doing a fine job of staying calm,” Bernie quipped. “Have you never been alone in a bedroom with a woman?”
He folded his arms and scowled.
Bernie laughed. “Have I upset your virginal sensibilities?”
His scowl darkened and Bernie’s laughter quieted. She folded her hands behind her back. Seducing a man was a lot more awkward than she thought it would be, though she hadn’t put very much
thought past getting in the window, and then convincing his startled valet not to sound the alarm. What was his name? After all that, she thought Chester would be a bit more…leading in the seduction arena, but he was still being a prude, blast him. What could she do to put him in a different frame of mind? One where he would kiss her?
She tried to step closer to him but he kept backing away.
“Are you afraid of me?”
“Please just let me process this. I can’t think when you’re close to me.”
Hmm, that pleased her. If he thought too much, he might think of a way to sneak her out and that did not fit in her plan. She turned away, pretending to admire a painting of a pack of dogs content to sun bathe rather than chase a fox who coyly sat behind them with a clever smirk.
Chester began to pace behind her.
Never a good sign.
“How long do you intend to hide here and to what outcome? Where will you eat, where will you sleep…”
He continued his lecture and Bernie stopped listening. She was going to stay in this room until he confessed he loved her and then made love to her. That was her plan. After that, they would sort out what to do about his parents. The only outcome Bernie would accept is marriage and Lady Kirkland’s solemn vow to never besmirch her sisters’ reputations. She had no idea how she was going to accomplish those things just yet but it started with Chester.
Her plan hinged on him loving her and wanting to make love to her. If those key ingredients were missing then the whole plan would fall apart. Bernie didn’t want to even consider that yet.
She spun to face him and he was still pacing like a lunatic.
She sighed.
Perhaps he was a virgin?
Bernie, having so little experience herself, had assumed most grown men were not, but perhaps she had it wrong? Chester wasn’t like most men. He was restrained in almost every avenue of his life. Could he be a virgin? It shed a whole new light on his present panic.
She might really have to be the one to seduce him. He couldn’t be completely inept, not when he’d proven himself a skilled kisser this morning.
What could she do to help him focus? Or at least get him to hold still?
She considered the bed. Should she lie on it? She didn’t have much practice looking seductive.
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