The Pothunters

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The Pothunters Page 12

by P. G. Wodehouse


  [12]

  AN INTERESTING INTERVIEW

  For the rest of the afternoon Jim had a wretched time. To be beatenafter such a race by a foot, and to be beaten by a foot when victorywould have cut the Gordian knot of his difficulties once and for all,was enough to embitter anybody's existence. He found it hard to acceptthe well-meant condolences of casual acquaintances, and still harder todo the right thing and congratulate Drake on his victory, a refinementof self-torture which is by custom expected of the vanquished in everybranch of work or sport. But he managed it somehow, and he also managedto appear reasonably gratified when he went up to take his prize forthe half-mile. Tony and the others, who knew what his defeat meant tohim, kept out of his way, for which he was grateful. After lock-up,however, it was a different matter, but by that time he was more readyfor society. Even now there might be some way out of the difficulty. Heasked Tony's advice on the subject. Tony was perplexed. The situationwas beyond his grip.

  'I don't see what you can do, Jim,' he said, 'unless the Rugby chap'llbe satisfied with a pound on account. It's a beastly business. Do youthink your pater will give you your money all the same as it was such aclose finish?'

  Jim thought not. In fact, he was certain that he would not, and Tonyrelapsed into silence as he tried to bring another idea to the surface.He had not succeeded when Charteris came in.

  'Jim,' he said 'you have my sympathy. It was an awfully near thing. ButI've got something more solid than sympathy. I will take a seat.'

  'Don't rag, Charteris,' said Tony. 'It's much too serious.'

  'Who's ragging, you rotter? I say I have something more solid thansympathy, and instead of giving me an opening, as a decent individualwould, by saying, "What?" you accuse me of ragging. James, my son, ifyou will postpone your suicide for two minutes, I will a tale unfold. Ihave an idea.'

  'Well?'

  'That's more like it. Now you _are_ talking. We will start at thebeginning. First, you want a pound. So do I. Secondly, you want itbefore next Tuesday. Thirdly, you haven't it on you. How, therefore,are you to get it? As the song hath it, you don't know, they don'tknow, but--now we come to the point--I _do_ know.'

  'Yes?' said Jim and Tony together.

  'It is a luminous idea. Why shouldn't we publish a special number of_The Glow Worm_ before the end of term?'

  Jim was silent at the brilliance of the scheme. Then doubts began toharass him.

  'Is there time?'

  'Time? Yards of it. This is Saturday. We start tonight, and keep at itall night, if necessary. We ought to manage it easily before tomorrowmorning. On Sunday we jellygraph it--it'll have to be a jellygraphednumber this time. On Monday and Tuesday we sell it, and there you are.'

  'How are you going to sell it? In the ordinary way at the shop?'

  'Yes, I've arranged all that. All we've got to do is to write thething. As the penalty for your sins you shall take on most of it. I'lldo the editorial, Welch is pegging away at the Sports account now, andI waylaid Jackson just before lock-up, and induced him by awful threatsto knock off some verses. So we're practically published already.'

  'It's grand,' said Jim. 'And it's awfully decent of you chaps to fagyourselves like this for me. I'll start on something now.'

  'But can you raise a sovereign on one number?' asked Tony.

  'Either that, or I've arranged with the shop to give us a quid down,and take all profits on this and the next number. They're as keen asanything on the taking-all-profits idea, but I've kept that back to beused only in case of necessity. But the point is that Jim gets hissovereign in any case. I must be off to my editorial. So long,' and hewent.

  'Grand man, Charteris,' said Tony, as he leant back in his chair insearch of a subject. 'You'd better weigh in with an account of theburglary. It's a pity you can't give the realistic description you gaveus. It would sell like anything.'

  'Wouldn't do to risk it.'

  At that moment the door swung violently open, with Merevale holding onto the handle, and following it in its course. Merevale very rarelyknocked at a study door, a peculiarity of his which went far towardsshattering the nervous systems of the various inmates, who never knewwhen it was safe to stop work and read fiction. 'Ah, Thomson,' he said,'I was looking for you. The Headmaster wants to see you over at hisHouse, if you are feeling well enough after your exertions. _Very_close thing, that mile. I don't know when I have seen a better-run raceon the College grounds. I suppose you are feeling pretty tired, eh?'

  'I am rather, sir, but I had better see the Head. Will he be in hisstudy, sir?'

  'Yes, I think so.'

  Jim took his cap and went off, while Merevale settled down to spend theevening in Tony's study, as he often did when the term's work was over,and it was no longer necessary to keep up the pretence of preparation.

  Parker, the Head's butler, conducted Jim into the presence.

  'Sit down, Thomson,' said the Head.

  Jim took a seat, and he had just time to notice that his namesake, MrThompson, was also present, and that, in spite of the fact that his tiehad crept up to the top of his collar, he was looking quiteunnecessarily satisfied with himself, when he became aware that theHead was speaking to him.

  'I hope you are not feeling any bad effects from your race, Thomson?'

  Jim was half inclined to say that his effects were _nil,_ but hefelt that the quip was too subtle, and would be lost on his presentaudience, so he merely said that he was not. There was a rather awkwardsilence for a minute. Then the Head coughed, and said:

  'Thomson.'

  'Yes, sir.'

  'I think it would be fairest to you to come to the point at once, andto tell you the reason why I wished to see you.'

  Jim ran over the sins which shot up in his mind like rockets as heheard these ominous words, and he knew that this must be the matter ofthe Pavilion. He was, therefore, in a measure prepared for the Head'snext words.

  'Thomson.'

  'Yessir.'

  'A very serious charge has been brought against you. You are accused ofnothing less than this unfortunate burglary of the prizes for theSports.'

  'Yes, sir. Is my accuser Mr Thompson?'

  The Headmaster hesitated for a moment, and Mr Thompson spoke. 'That isso,' he said.

  'Yes,' said the Head, 'the accusation is brought by Mr Thompson.'

  'Yes, sir,' said Jim again, and this time the observation was intendedto convey the meaning, 'My dear, good sir, when you've known him aslong as I have, you won't mind what Mr Thompson says or does. It's akind of way he's got, and if he's not under treatment for it, he oughtto be.'

  'I should like to hear from your own lips that the charge isgroundless.'

  'Anything to oblige,' thought Jim. Then aloud, 'Yes, sir.'

  'You say it is groundless?' This from Mr Thompson.

  'Yes, sir.'

  'I must warn you, Thomson, that the evidence against you is very strongindeed,' said the Head. 'Without suggesting that you are guilty of thisthing, I think I ought to tell you that if you have any confession tomake, it will be greatly, very greatly, to your own advantage to makeit at once.'

  'And give myself away, free, gratis and for nothing,' thought Jim. 'Notfor me, thank you.'

  'Might I hear Mr Thompson's evidence, sir?' he asked.

  'Certainly, Thomson.' He effected a movement in Mr Thompson'sdirection, midway between a bow and a nod.

  Mr Thompson coughed. Jim coughed, too, in the same key. This put MrThompson out, and he had to cough again.

  'In the first place,' he began, 'it has been conclusively proved thatthe burglary was the work of an unskilful hand.'

  'That certainly seems to point to me as the author,' said Jimflippantly.

  'Silence, Thomson,' said the Head, and counsel for the prosecutionresumed.

  'In the second place, it has been proved that you were at the time ofthe burglary in great need of money.'

  This woke Jim up. It destroyed that feeling of coolness with which hehad started the interview. Awful thought
s flashed across his mind. Hadhe been seen at the time of his burglarious entry? At any rate, how didMr Thompson come to know of his pecuniary troubles?

  'Did you say it had been proved, sir?'

  'Yes.'

  'How, sir?'

  He felt the question was a mistake as he was uttering it. Your reallyinjured innocent would have called all the elements to witness that hewas a millionaire. But it was too late to try that now. And, besides,he really did want to know how Mr Thompson had got to hear of thisskeleton in his cupboard.

  The Headmaster interrupted hurriedly. 'It is a very unfortunate affairaltogether, and this is quite the most unfortunate part. A letter cameto the College addressed to J. Thomson, and Mr Thompson opened and readit inadvertently. Quite inadvertently.'

  'Yes, sir,' said Jim, in a tone which implied, 'I am no GeorgeWashington myself, but when you say he read it inadvertently, well--'

  'This letter was signed "Allen"--'

  'My brother, sir.'

  'Exactly. And it asked for two pounds. Evidently in payment of a debt,and the tone of the letter certainly seemed to show that you were notthen in possession of the money.'

  'Could I have the letter, sir?' Then with respectful venom to MrThompson: 'If you have finished with it.' The letter was handed over,and pocketed, and Jim braced his moral pecker up for the next round ofthe contest.

  'I take it, then, Thomson,' resumed the Head, 'that you owe yourbrother this money?'

  'Yes, sir.'

  'Two pounds is a great deal of money for one boy to lend another.'

  'It was not lent, sir. It was a bet.'

  'A bet!' in a nasty tone from the Head.

  'A bet!' in a sepulchral echo from Mr Thompson.

  There was a long pause.

  'At any other time,' said the Head, 'I should feel it my duty to takeserious notice of this, but beside this other matter with which you arecharged, it becomes trivial. I can only repeat that the circumstancesare exceedingly suspicious, and I think it would be in your intereststo tell us all you know without further delay.'

  'You take it for granted I am guilty, sir,' began Jim hotly.

  'I say that the circumstances seems to point to it. In the first place,you were in need of money. You admit that?'

  'Yes, sir.'

  'In the second place,' said the Head slowly, 'in the second place, I amtold that you were nowhere to be found in the House at half-past eighton the night of the burglary, when you ought certainly to have been inyour study at your work.'

  Bombshell number two, and a worse one than the first. For the momentJim's head swam. If he had been asked just then in so many words wherehe had been at that time, it is likely that he would have admittedeverything. By some miracle the Head did not press his point.

  'You may go now, Thomson,' he said. 'I should like to see you aftermorning school on Monday. Good-night.'

  'Good-night, sir,' said Jim, and went without another word. Coming sosoon after the exertion and strain of the mile, this shock made himfeel sick and dizzy.

  When he had gone, the Head turned to Mr Thompson with a worried look onhis face. 'I feel as certain as I do of anything,' he saidthoughtfully, 'that that boy is telling the truth. If he had beenguilty, he would not have behaved like that. I feel sure of it.'

  Mr Thompson looked equally thoughtful. 'The circumstances are certainlyvery suspicious,' he said, echoing the Head's own words. 'I wish Icould think he was innocent, but I am bound to say I do not. I regardthe evidence as conclusive.'

  'Circumstantial evidence is proverbially uncertain, Mr Thompson. Thatis principally the reason why I was so bent on making him confess if hehad anything to confess. I can't expel a boy and ruin his whole careeron mere suspicion. The matter must be proved, doubly proved, and eventhen I should feel uneasy until he owned himself guilty. It is a mostunpleasant affair, a terrible affair.'

  'Most,' agreed Mr Thompson.

  And exactly the same thing was occurring at that moment to Jim, as hesat on his bed in his dormitory, and pondered hopelessly on this newcomplication that had presented itself so unexpectedly. He was gettingvery near to the end of his tether, was J. Thomson of Merevale's. Itseemed to him, indeed, that he had reached it already. Possibly if hehad had a clearer conscience and a larger experience, he might haverecognized that the evidence which Mr Thompson had described asconclusive, was in reality not strong enough to hang a cat on.Unfortunately, he did not enjoy those advantages.

 

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