With Everything I Am

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With Everything I Am Page 34

by Kristen Ashley

And she missed it when he walked to her on the couch and sat in the crook of her lap.

  And she missed it when he slid her hair off her neck but tucked the throw tight around her shoulder so she wouldn’t get a chill.

  And she missed his soft kiss at her temple before he dropped his forehead there.

  And she missed him whispering in her ear in a voice threaded with an emotion that even Sonia couldn’t have misunderstood, “Fuck, baby doll, I missed you so fucking much.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Exposed

  Sonia sat on the sofa in Callum’s study, stared out the window at the gray sky, the landscape covered in white snow and tried to find at least a shred of courage to say what she had to say to Callum.

  She’d been with Callum at the castle for three days.

  Three days!

  Had she told him she did not want to be his mate but was willing to be his queen as she vowed to herself she would?

  No.

  Had she stopped him from making love to her as she vowed to herself she would?

  No.

  Had she become enchanted by his castle, the people in it, the village at the base of the rise and the people in that?

  Yes!

  After her first quiet day of Callum ordered rest, she woke up in his bed, in his arms, the urge nearly upon her because his hands were roaming and his lips were trailing across her shoulder.

  “Callum –”

  His mouth went to her ear and his arm wrapped tight around her, pulling her into his big, warm body.

  “Morning, baby doll.”

  Good goodness.

  If her world was real, she would live for the morning when he said those words to her in his deep, rumbling voice.

  “Morning,” she replied, trying to blot the thought from her mind.

  “How are you feeling this morning?”

  As her body betrayed her and snuggled closer to him, her mind latched on a way out of her first thing in the morning predicament.

  “Still a little bit achy,” she told him (and it wasn’t a total lie).

  “Poor baby,” he whispered in her ear and, even though he sounded vaguely arrogant, she couldn’t stop the tremble his being close and whispering in her ear caused. “I’ll get Mara to draw you a hot bath.” He bent and kissed her neck. “Have a lie in, little one.”

  Then he was gone, out of bed, into the shower, out of the shower, into his clothes and, with a final trip to the bed to lean down and kiss her temple, he was out of the room.

  Well, she’d dodged that bullet and she was pretty proud of herself because the whole time he was in the shower she kept thinking of his tall, muscled, naked body with water sliding down it and she’d had the nearly overwhelming impulse to join him there.

  She lay in bed practicing her words for when she would confront him.

  However, she lay in bed too long for a knock came at the door.

  She pulled in breath.

  Then she sighed.

  Maraleena (she’d learned the woman’s scent).

  She called a good morning, Maraleena stuck her head around the door and smiled huge. “Hi there, Queen Sonia, you sleep okay?”

  Then she was bustling in, pulling back the curtains, fussing with the throws on the couch before she headed toward the bathroom while Sonia replied, “Yes, Maraleena, I slept great.”

  And she had.

  She’d slept like a baby in Callum’s strong arms in his big bed with his heavy, warm hides covering them.

  “Cal says I should draw you a hot bath and Drogan says I can call him Cal in front of you,” she called half this statement from the bathroom before Sonia heard the taps turn on.

  “Well, Queen Sonia says you can call her Sonia,” Sonia called back, throwing the covers off, her legs over the side of the bed and finished, “Or you can call me Sonny, that’s what all my friends call me.”

  Maraleena appeared in the doorway to the bathroom but stopped and stood still, her eyes fastened on Sonia.

  “I’ve known you a day,” Maraleena breathed and, taking one look at her shocked expression, Sonia decided she must have done something wrong.

  Again.

  She started walking swiftly toward Maraleena at the same time she started talking fast, “I’m sorry. I did the wrong thing again. If you have to call me Queen Sonia then do it. That’s okay. I’ll get used to it.”

  She stopped in front of Maraleena who stared down at her a moment.

  Then she burst out laughing and snatched Sonia in her arms, giving her a strong hug before, just as abruptly, she let her go.

  “I just can’t believe how nice you are!” she declared, walking briskly to the bed. “I was on the phone all night telling everyone our new queen is teeny and pretty and nice. And that she and our king were all sweet and cute together,” Maraleena started to make the bed as Sonia tried to decide how she felt about Maraleena gossiping about her.

  Then, since what Maraleena said wasn’t bad and clearly Maraleena had double (or triple) the words any normal female had to use daily or she’d explode, she decided she didn’t mind.

  “If it was me, I’d probably be all queen of the castle,” she went on, pulling the sheets to then she threw a smile Sonia’s way. “Though I’m glad you’re not.”

  Sonia smiled back at her and replied, “I’m glad you’re glad.”

  She shooed Sonia into the bathroom with her hand. “Shoo. Get. Cal says you’ve got some aches to work out of your muscles.” Her grin turned naughty. “I remember that. After my claiming…” She giggled. “Oo, I was aching for weeks. Drogan was insatiable. And rough! It was brilliant! And, I might add, two times last night, it still is! It’s a wonder I can even walk today!”

  Sonia stared at her, wishing she had the wherewithal not to gape in horrified astonishment.

  But she did not.

  Maraleena caught her look, her smile died and she straightened.

  “What?” she asked.

  Sonia’s body jerked out of its shocked stupor and she slid her hands along her belly, crossing her arms at the black fabric of her nightgown there.

  “Nothing, I’m just… humans don’t…” she stammered but stopped when Maraleena suddenly slapped herself on the forehead with the palm of her hand.

  “Stupid!” she cried. “I forgot. You’re human.” She threw her arm out to Sonia. “You said Cal hadn’t had a chance to explain things and Drogan told me you wanted me to teach you about protocol and such. I’m an idiot.”

  “You aren’t an idiot, Maraleena,” Sonia said softly, walked to her new friend and asked, “I met a lady, one of yours, and she was kind of blunt too. Do all your people talk about… um, sex like that?”

  Maraleena’s grin came back full force. “Uh. Yeah.” Her eyes gleamed, she leaned forward and whispered, “Definitely.” Then she went back to making the bed. “I’ve never spent a lot of time with humans but I know you don’t.” Then she finished on a mumbled, “Weird, that.”

  Sonia smiled at the thought that someone would think the human’s way was weird.

  Then again, to her people, it obviously was.

  “Anyway,” Maraleena went on. “You have your bath. Cal says you should dress warm. I’ll bring up breakfast in a bit.”

  “Can I have breakfast in the kitchen with you and Callista?” Sonia asked and Maraleena burst out laughing.

  Through her laughter she said, “Sonny! You’re queen! You can do anything you want!”

  Sonia really wished that was true.

  Alas, it was not.

  She took a nice, long, hot bath in the big, circular tub fragranced with bath salts Callum had given her for Christmas. She put on light makeup and blow dried her hair, absently acclimatizing herself to where to locate all of her things in her new surroundings as she did so.

  But when she went to the wardrobe to decide on her outfit for the day she saw, with all her bags unpacked and all of her things put away, Regan had not packed a stitch of Sonia’s clothes.

  She’d
only packed the clothes Callum bought her.

  Sonia searched through hangers, piles of sweaters and drawers for something from home, something that was hers.

  Nothing.

  That was likely an order of King Callum too!

  Fuming, Sonia “dressed warm”, as Callum commanded her to do, in a pair of cords so dark brown they were nearly black. To this she added a wide, dark brown belt, low-heeled boots over thick socks and a bright-salmon, boat-necked sweater. The sweater was not one of Sonia’s colors but in the shop Regan had told her it was simply her and she had to buy it, so Sonia did.

  She grabbed a long, thin but woolly, hot pink-colored knit scarf with fluffy dangling strands at the ends, wrapped it round and round her neck and let it hang down her front and then she stormed to the kitchen.

  It was hard to keep fuming with Callista and Maraleena both so unceasingly cheerful and both so excited to share with Sonia the ways of their people.

  And over a breakfast of porridge sweetened with what Callista called “golden syrup” (and it was delicious and it wasn’t huge and artery clogging), Sonia learned a lot.

  For instance, she learned that when a man claimed his mate, he and his mate would hole up for weeks (even months) after the claiming, not to be seen or heard from until they emerged for the mating ceremony.

  And she learned that once they emerged, they told everyone about everything as in everything about their claiming, down to the most intimate detail. Indeed, they’d do this often over the years trying to best each other’s claiming stories. And it wasn’t just the males who did it for both Maraleena and Callista shared theirs, in shocking detail (Sonia demurred, using being human as her excuse which luckily worked).

  And she learned that the mating ceremony and ritual was like the humans’ wedding reception except they didn’t have any wedding dresses, tuxedos, champagne toasts, posed pictures or pre-arranged dancing. They went straight to what sounded like drunken debauchery with a big buffet of food that, as Callista assured her on a wink, “In the old days, dear, we don’t do that anymore,” led to the male actually mating with the female in front of everyone.

  Now, apparently (and fortunately), at the end, the couple just stood (or swayed, depending how drunk they were) in front of everyone and restated the words, male: “Are you mine?” female: “Yes.” Then they went home with everyone shouting advice and encouragement and had sex again.

  That was it!

  “It’s a shame those rebel rascals had to spoil things for you and Cal. Ruined your whole claiming with their antics,” Callista muttered irately then added as an afterthought, “Oh, and the fact that he’s king.”

  “What does that mean?” Sonia asked as she poured more coffee into all three of their mugs.

  Callista gazed closely at Sonia, giving Sonia the (correct) impression that she hadn’t quite decided about her yet and replied, “Just that he’s like his father. Mac never rested on his laurels and Cal certainly doesn’t. Everyone knows no one could seize his rule. He’s the mightiest warrior in the kingdom. But there’s a great deal more to it and he takes it all seriously.”

  “Like what?” Sonia asked, curious in spite of herself.

  “Like a great deal, too much for now,” Callista answered but she did it on a genuine smile. “Now, dear, you need to get to your king.”

  Sonia stifled her sigh, dashed milk (not skim but also not full fat, thank God) into her coffee and started to head to Callum’s study but stopped when Maraleena called out to her.

  Sonia watched as Maraleena pulled down another sweep-lined, earth brown mug with turquoise interior and poured in coffee and milk.

  She handed it to Sonia who took it in her free hand.

  “For Cal,” she muttered and grinned. “He’ll like that you’re looking after him even though you chose for us to do the, um… bulk of it.”

  Sonia nodded and smiled her gratitude to Maraleena but on the way to his study she had a mind to throw his coffee mug out the window. She liked the mug too much, so she didn’t.

  He was sitting behind his big desk when she appeared in the door and his handsome, dark head came up instantly.

  Somehow from yesterday to today his desk had become covered in strewn and stacked papers and files, mounds of post and an open laptop.

  She gazed at the mess on his desk and couldn’t stop herself from asking in all jest, “Are you planning another war?”

  He burst out laughing and her body jerked then stilled at the rich sound.

  She’d made him grin. She’d made him smile. She’d made him chuckle. She’d heard him laugh, even at her. But she’d never purposefully made him laugh and doing it made her feel like she’d planted her flag at the top of world’s most treacherous mountain.

  “No,” he replied after he got control of his humor. “This is what it normally looks like.”

  “You need an assistant,” she informed him, walking forward trying to get control of herself and sound curt and not doing a very good job of it (because she wasn’t a curt-sounding person).

  “I have four, Ryon, Calder, Caleb and Drogan. None of them are good with paperwork,” Callum told her on a grin.

  Sonia figured that was the truth. None of those men seemed the paperwork kind.

  She stopped on the opposite side of the desk and reached over it, trying to find a safe place to lay his mug. Then she scooted some papers aside to expose the blotter and put the mug down because he hardly could have a system going that she would mess up in that clutter.

  “You brought me coffee,” he stated and his voice was soft and warm.

  She looked at him not wanting him to get any ideas. “Maraleena thought you might like a cup.”

  “I do,” he replied. “Would you like to know what I’d like more?”

  No, she wouldn’t.

  “Callum –” she began but he interrupted her.

  “What I’d like is to know why you’re standing over there?”

  She straightened her shoulders, deciding the time had finally come and declared, “Because we need to talk.”

  “You can talk in my lap.”

  “I’d rather talk from over here.”

  His voice was firm but still soft and warm when he ordered, “Sonia, come here.”

  That voice did weird things to her system. Weird things such as setting the urge upon her. Weird things such as making her want to sit in his lap and put her mouth on him. Anywhere. Everywhere.

  Yes, just his voice.

  She fought the urge back.

  “No, Callum, I –” she stopped speaking because he stood up.

  Then she stared at him as he rounded his desk.

  She began retreating too late.

  He grabbed one of her wrists, pulled the coffee cup out of her other hand, set it on some papers on his desk and, as she tried to twist her wrist free, he yanked her to him. Then she was in his arms. He walked back around the desk and sat down with her in his lap. He calmly leaned forward, nabbed her cup and handed it to her then nabbed his.

  Finally, his attention came to her and he invited, “Now, baby doll, what’s on your mind?”

  Nothing.

  Nothing was on her mind except for the fact that she was again in his lap where she’d told him she didn’t want to be.

  “Sonia?”

  She blinked at him, wanting to cry and scream at the same time (not to mention scratch his eyes out).

  He waited.

  She didn’t speak. There were too many words to say and she couldn’t put even two of them together.

  “I see this is one of those times,” he muttered mysteriously, not sounding irritated or angry about whatever one of those times was, but amused. “All right, little one, this is what we’re going to do today,” he told her softly. “We’re going to go upstairs, I’m going to give you your injection then we’re going to go into town.”

  She wasn’t keeping up. Her mind was churning but her body was registering the fact that she liked the safe, comfort of him so clo
se.

  “To town?” she asked.

  “To town,” he answered. “Then we’re going to come home and you’re going to take it easy the rest of the day,” he finished. “Agreed?”

  He took a sip of his coffee which would have given her time to agree or, say, perchance, disagree. But before she could speak, he slid her carefully off his lap, grabbed her hand and led her out of the room and up the winding staircase.

  As he did, he spoke. “I talked with Dr. Mortenson while you were napping yesterday and he said your blood tests all came back normal. He’s still concerned. He says there’s a specialist consultant in Aberdeen he wants you to see. I made an appointment this morning for Friday.”

  Sonia’s mind cleared at this astonishing news and she asked, “There’s a specialist in Scotland?”

  “According to Dr. Mortenson there is.”

  “I didn’t know there was such a thing,” she told him.

  “Well there is, baby doll. And you’re lucky he’s a short flight away,” Callum replied, led her into the bathroom, gave her the injection, held her until the burning fire died away and held her long after.

  “Callum,” she whispered when he didn’t seem to want to let her go, her hands gliding along his forearms which were crossed at her belly.

  In these moments, now twice a day, she could believe in him, really believe.

  His head came up and his now tawny eyes caught hers in the mirror.

  “I hope to fuck this new doctor knows another way.”

  His voice was rough with frustration and she could almost believe that too.

  Lost in the moment, she promised, “You’ll get used to it.”

  His laugh was as harsh as his voice before he said, “I don’t think that’s going to happen, baby doll.”

  Then he zipped her pants, buckled her belt and took her to town.

  * * * * *

  “Town” was not a town.

  It was an enchanting village. The cottages and buildings were all made of the same warm golden-red-brown as Callum’s castle. There was only one cobbled street which was lined with shops on both sides and, on small alleyways that led off the street and up the rise behind the village, there were picturesque cottages and houses.

  The melted snow had given the cobbled streets a glistening shine and the sidewalks were all brushed clear of snow.

 

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