Bend But Never Break

by Cheryl Phipps

  ‘Good lord! What the hell is your problem? Maybe this is more about the fact that you have a bit of a thing for her yourself. Although with your attitude, I can’t imagine she would be even remotely interested.’

  ‘Oh, you think she would prefer a tomcat like you, then?’ Nick had gotten so close, he was almost toe to toe with Jack.

  ‘Hell, you really do fancy her! I was only joking, but if that’s the case, then go for it. I don’t think I’ve seen you with anyone for months, and a bit of a romance might mellow you out a bit.’

  ‘Thank you very much Jack, however, I don’t need your permission to ‘go for it’, even if I did fancy her, as you so delicately put it. Which for your information, I don’t.’ Nick ran his hands through his hair at his outright lie, hoping that he was convincing enough.

  ‘Who don’t you fancy?’ Talia enquired as she silently entered the room.

  Both men jumped back from each other with reddening faces. They looked like naughty schoolboys rather than hardened policemen. She’d been passing through the lounge, about to go to the kitchen, but stopped when she realised she’d walked into the middle of something.

  ‘Has anything happened I should know about?’ She wanted to laugh at their embarrassment, but something about the way they were eyeing each other stopped her.

  ‘No, nothing,’ Nick said, refusing to look at her.

  ‘Nick just found out the annual wine and food festival starts today and wondered if you wanted to go for a look around.’ Jack said with a grin.

  ‘I thought you didn’t want to be seen around the village?’

  She was asking Nick but Jack answered instead. He seemed to have taken charge and was eager to organise them.

  ‘We’ve been pretty careful so far and the festival is held in the middle of the island at a huge estate. You must be feeling cooped up by now, so a walk around the countryside looking at the local produce couldn’t hurt.’ Jack leaned on the doorframe with an amused gleam in his eye. He seemed to be waiting for Nick to contradict him.

  ‘It sounds too risky.’ Talia looked from one to the other, suspecting she was missing something.

  ‘I think so, too.’ Nick glared at Jack.

  ‘It may be the last chance for anything other than these four walls for some time is all I’m saying.’ Jack managed an innocent look while his eyes twinkled mischievously.

  Talia was suspicious of Jack’s motives but was eager to get away from the cottage for a while. She’d managed one more trip in to town with Jack. She hadn’t dared visit Kirk but had posted a letter to him, and he had left a note in her rented box at the post office saying Randall was not due until later in the week, and that he definitely had Chloe with him. Her emotions were all over the place; she wanted this to be over but with the right result. Perhaps a diversion might be helpful, even if that meant spending more time with Nick.

  ‘Okay. If you’re sure it’ll be safe, I’d love to get out for a bit. I’ve heard a lot about the festival from when my family visited, but have never actually been. Have either of you?’

  Again Jack answered, ‘Yeah, I go when I can swing a day off work. It’s very relaxing and there are heaps of attractions. You don’t have to be into wine to enjoy it.’

  ‘Some of us don’t have the time to spend on that sort of thing.’ Nick stared pointedly at Jack, not sounding particularly thrilled at the prospect of a day out with Talia.

  ‘Look, if you’re not keen, then please don’t give it another thought. Maybe Jack can take me later if he has something to do now?’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous. I said I would go,’ Nick said ungraciously. ‘How long before you can be ready?’

  ‘Just let me grab my bag and I’m all yours.’ She hurried to prepare for the unexpected outing, feeling a little excited, since it’d been a long time she’d been out in public. As she pushed her cap on her head something made her hesitate. Nick hadn’t seemed that happy about the prospect of spending one on one time with her. She wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. If it was just because he was annoyed that she wouldn’t leave then that was fine, but perhaps he didn’t like her at all. It shouldn’t bother her – but it did.

  Jack laughed loudly as her door closed. ‘There you go. She’s all yours. I’m glad we managed to sort that out!’

  Nick checked that Talia had indeed left before punching the other man hard on the arm.

  ‘Hey, what’s that for?’ Jack rubbed the abused area but did not look remotely sorry.

  ‘You know damn well what it’s for. Now cut it out. If and when I want to take someone out, I will do the asking, not you. Getting involved with Talia is not an option while this job is going down - not for you, nor for me. Do I make myself clear?’

  ‘Yes, sir.’

  Nick was aware of the satisfaction in Jack’s eyes. He had just been set up, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. The kid was far too sneaky by half.

  ***

  How had he allowed this to happen? He was in the middle of the most important case of his career and he was swanning around the countryside. It wasn’t right. Besides, Talia would probably prefer the company of Jack, who was no doubt more entertaining than he could ever hope to be.

  They found a car park, thankfully under the shade of a large pine tree, and walked through the cordoned off fields of the estate. It began to get fairly congested the closer they got to the gate so she walked slightly ahead of him. His eyes kept up a constant scan, but he also took the opportunity to study Talia once more.

  Her head lifted into the breeze, and she turned to him, a smile on her face. She’d worn a peasant-style skirt of various colours, which swirled around her knees. The sky blue tank top accentuated the tan she had attained over the last few days. A baseball cap, which she always wore when she left the house, was pulled low, her hair hidden inside it. Her skin was smooth, apart from the scar. The only concession to makeup appeared to be lip gloss, which glistened in the sunlight. He found himself wondering what those lips would taste like.

  She looked so young and carefree, not at all like the broken woman he had found in a dumpster all those weeks ago. He’d seen her only once looking so happy, in a photo he suspected had been taken after her separation and obviously a while before the beating.

  ‘Why did you marry him?’ he blurted, wanting to bite his tongue as soon as he had uttered the words.

  ‘Pardon me?’ Her eyes swivelled to meet his and blinked rapidly, as if she didn’t comprehend what he was asking.

  ‘Sorry, that was a bit rude. Just ignore the question.’

  ‘Why do you want to know?’ she asked warily.

  ‘Oh, no particular reason. I just wondered. Randall is a lot older than you.’ What was happening to him? He seemed incapable of keeping his thoughts to himself.

  ‘I don’t feel young. How old are you?’

  He should have expected that. He wasn’t usually bothered if people knew his age or not. Talia’s birth certificate showed she was twenty-six, quite an age gap if you were counting.

  ‘Thirty-four, practically an old man compared to you.’

  ‘Hardly old, although you do look a lot younger when you smile.’ She could feel herself blush. What on earth had possessed her to say that, even if it was true?

  This time he did laugh outright at himself. ‘I guess I deserve that. Jack told me this morning I’m very grumpy lately. He thinks I need a girlfriend. That’s his answer to everything.’

  ‘Oh, now I get it. He’s decided to play matchmaker. That’s why he was so keen to get us out together. The man’s deluded if he thinks there’s a chance that we could become an item.’

  ‘Yes it would be stupid of him to think a lovely young woman like you would be interested in an old codger like me,’ he said forcefully.

  Alarmed, Talia touched his arm. ‘Nick, please don’t say that. It’s not the case at all. You’re an attractive man who takes his job seriously. You’ve made it abundantly clear you’re here for work only and I’m n
ot in the market for a boyfriend of any description. Those are the only reasons.’

  ‘Point taken.’ He smiled at her. ‘Jack is an incurable romantic, which is pretty ridiculous in our profession. Let’s not let it spoil the day. We both know where we stand, so it’s just two people snatching some well-earned down time, okay?’

  ‘Sounds great to me. Lead on.’ Talia was relieved they understood each other. Maybe in another situation, another time… What was she doing? She wouldn’t be thinking about men like that for a very long time, if ever. But maybe she could have one day of enjoyment, before all their lives changed one way or another.

  The weather was perfect for the festival. Beautiful blue skies with a gentle breeze made walking through the crowds very pleasant. They had to walk a fair distance to the festival itself, as the initial area held various stalls they browsed happily, sipping chilled white wine purchased from the first marquee they’d passed.

  Children ran in and out of exhibition areas, attempting to evade their parents. Most of the adults smiled tolerantly at their antics. Now and again, a raised voice brought one of the little terrors to heed.

  ‘Look at this lot.’ Nick nudged her. ‘A bit of sugar and they go mad.’

  She smiled, feeling guilty and wishing Chloe could be here going mad. ‘You’ve never wanted children?’

  ‘Sure, but you have to be in a position to provide a decent home and a good environment, neither of which is likely to happen in my line of work. Kids deserve more,’ he added gruffly. Then, as if trying to lighten the mood again, he said, ‘Would you like another wine?’

  ‘Not really. To be honest, it’s a bit early in the day for me. However, I could murder a cup of tea, if you don’t mind.’

  ‘Thank goodness. I feel the same way. There’s a nice looking marquee posing as a café just over there. Shall we go and investigate?’

  ‘That looks perfect for a couple of oldies.’ Talia smiled up at him.

  As they crossed the field, a couple of boys on bikes careered down towards them and as a reflex, Nick grabbed Talia’s hand and pulled her into his side. It felt so natural, despite the tingle that travelled up his arm. She didn’t appear to realise how her nearness affected him, so when she didn’t pull away, he kept hold of it, and they walked hand in hand into the café. They browsed the huge food selection and when they couldn’t decide over anything, they decided to share a couple of items.

  It wasn’t until Nick had to pay that he reluctantly relinquished her hand. Was it his imagination or did Talia look disappointed for a moment? Then she was trying to pay half the bill, so they argued good-naturedly until a queue began to form, and she reluctantly backed down and went to find seats.

  As luck would have it, a couple were at that moment leaving their table, which was in a perfect spot just outside the tent. A large tree afforded some shade from the sun but allowed them a clear view of the marquees and stalls, which he could now see were set in a square. It was undoubtedly a huge money-spinner if the number of people were anything to go by.

  ‘Do you come here often?’ Nick began and then laughed at the atrocious pickup line. ‘What I mean is, do you come to the island very often?’

  She looked at him thoughtfully, as if weighing her words.

  ‘I used to come all the time when I was younger. My family had a boat and we would moor it in one of the coves and spend hours walking the beaches and tracks with the local kids. What about you?’

  ‘I’ve only been over a couple of times, and that was purely for work. I’m a city boy, born and raised, and never had a heck of a lot of time to have holidays.’

  ‘But what about when you were a kid? Surely your parents took you on holiday?’

  ‘Sounds like you imagine all kids are given the same rights and privileges, but that only works if you have the fundamentals.’

  ‘Which are?’

  ‘Well, it sure helps if you have some money for food, and even without that, it really matters if your parents give a damn about you.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Nick. I didn’t mean to spoil the day by reminding you of your past,’ Talia said sincerely.

  ‘It’s not spoiled at all. I’m usually not comfortable discussing my childhood, but you’re remarkably easy to talk to. Did you know that?’ He smiled at her uncertainly, wondering why he wanted to have this conversation with her.

  ‘No one’s ever said that to me before. Or maybe they did, but since Randall I seem to have forgotten a lot of good memories, unless they’re about Chloe.’ She shivered as if to rid herself of her thoughts. ‘Tell me some more then. Of course, only if you’d like to.’ Talia looked at him encouragingly.

  ‘I’m sure you would find it very boring.’

  ‘I bet I wouldn’t. You can’t really know someone if you don’t know their history. It makes us who we are, after all, and most of the time that’s a good thing.’

  It sounded as if Talia was trying to convince not only him that this was the truth.

  ‘Let me get this straight, you’re saying my crappy childhood has a good side?’

  ‘Well, of course, I don’t know the details, but look at who you’ve become.’

  ‘Yeah, a middle-aged man who lives alone, who’s made his job his life. It doesn’t sound that great to me.’

  ‘Don’t keep saying that.’ She sounded indignant. ‘Thirty-four is hardly middle-aged. Especially these days, when some couples don’t start families until they’re in their late thirties or early forties. Maybe you’re a bit lonely, but you’re also a man who protects the rest of us by catching the bad guys. That’s a huge thing in my book, and if you hadn’t had your particular childhood, this might not have been the profession you chose.’

  Nick looked at her in surprise. She sure had him pegged. ‘For as long as I can remember; I always wanted to be a cop.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘I’m not sure I ever thought about it too much, but my dad was a drunk who liked to knock my mum and me around. Perhaps that had something to do with it.’ He sounded blasé about it, he knew, but it was such a long time ago.

  ‘That’s awful. Did you do anything about it when you got older?’

  ‘I didn’t get the chance. The silly bugger got plastered one night and drove his car into a lamppost. He died instantly.’ He said it flippantly, surprised to feel a long forgotten pain at the memory.

  ‘How old were you?’ Talia was relentless.

  ‘It happened on my fifteenth birthday. I can remember it vividly. It had been raining all night, but when the cops turned up on our doorstep the next morning and gave us the news, the sun came out, quite literally. Mum was pretty upset, which was hard to understand back then. I watched her wallow for a while and tried to be there for her, but when nothing changed, I carried on with my after-school work, and she went on welfare.’ He took a deep breath and, when she looked at him encouragingly, he carried on.

  ‘These days, there would be someone to go to who would see she was depressed and give her professional help. I was too young to have a clue how to deal with it. I wanted her to snap out of it and finally enjoy her life. It was hard to understand why she wasn’t relieved the way I was. I guess she really did love him, in spite of the way he treated her, and I’ve never been able to get my head around that.’

  ‘Wow, that’s a sad story, Nick.’

  ‘Where I come from, there are a lot worse scenarios than that.’

  ‘Still, it must have been tough on you. What happened to your mother?’

  ‘She went to live with her sister, up north, when I left school, so I rarely see her. We don’t have much to say to each other when we do meet. It’s pretty awkward. I guess that makes me sound selfish.’ He shrugged and looked across the meadow to where some kids were kicking a ball around.

  ‘No, it doesn’t, though it does explain why you hold yourself back from people, why you appear so aloof and distant.’

  ‘And what does all that prove, Dr Freud?’

  ‘That you’re scared of getti
ng hurt - in case you love someone more than she loves you.’

  ‘Are we still talking about me?’ Nick raised one eyebrow.

  ‘Yes. My situation is completely different. I loved my family without reservation, and I know how much my parents loved me and my brother. I would have done anything for them. I saw the love my parents had for each other and I wanted that for myself, more than anything else in the world.’

  ‘Okay, you know far more about love than I do - you’ve made that abundantly clear - but don’t feel sorry for me. I laid those ghosts to rest a long time ago and I’ve moved on.’

  ‘Keep telling yourself that, Nick, and you might make it so one day.’

  ‘Now you’re just being smug.’

  She looked away but not before he saw a sad smile. ‘I have a daughter who I love more than life, and when we meet up again, I’m never going to let her out of my sight.’

  ‘Sounds a bit claustrophobic.’

  ‘You’re right, it does, and it just might take a while for her to get used to having me around again,’ she said sadly.

  Hating to see her depressed, he stood and held out his hand. ‘This is all too serious for such a nice day. Shall we make a move since the food’s all gone? Actually, I think I ate most of it. You hardly touched a thing,’ he acknowledged guiltily. ‘Do you want me to get you something else?’

  ‘How about an ice cream? I think I saw a sign for the homemade kind not far from here.’ She gave him a grateful smile and took his hand once more.

  ‘Sounds like a plan. Let’s go.’

  They eventually found the vendor, who sold them ridiculously large cones. Then they wandered to a roped off area reserved for people to enjoy their food in a more relaxed manner, away from the bustle of the stalls. The scene was idyllic. They sat down on the grass under the shade of a large oak tree. A small stream ran across the bottom of the field, and children were feeding ducks with their leftovers.

  ‘This is delicious. I haven’t eaten anything like it for years.’ Talia tucked a few wayward strands of hair behind her ear so they wouldn’t fall into the ice cream.