by G Lawrence
They are afraid I shall curse them perhaps… as though I have access to those types of powers! As though I have access to any of even my earthly powers here. What are my talents now? What are my skills, my accomplishments? Who is there that I can charm here? Who is there that I can dance for or sing for… for my life?
Where is the King, my husband, whom I once could control with a single word or glance? Where is my great power now? I know now that there was never any such thing; it was all an illusion.
My laughter falters, and I return to stare from the window.
New ghosts walk amongst the old in the Tower compound this night. I see them from my seat at the window. I look out again, at the platform on which I am to die, and I feel panic rise in me once more.
I must think less wildly. I must think less on the present, for surely, here, I will lose my mind. In the past is where I will find my peace. In my memories I will find the strength to make my end with grace, and dignity.
I look from the window, but I do not see the green before me. I see the past. I see a girl standing on the deck of a ship, watching the land she loves disappear on the horizon, and turning herself with a heavy heart to face a new world. She knows not what will come to her, but I do. She knows not that the heart within her that she thinks broken for leaving all that she knew and loved, will come to know another love… a love I once thought could win over any obstacle or opposition. I see her, and I envy her. For soon, she will have what all of us long for in this life; to have another’s heart beat only for yours, to know the overwhelming power love can bring to a soul… to feel, even for the briefest of moments, that you are adored, wanted and held above all others.
That girl who stands so restless and proud on that ship… would I tell her to go back, if I could? To flee to France as she wishes to? I know not. Her story will lead her to where I sit now, waiting for death. But if she had taken another path, would her life have ever been as miraculous, as strange and wonderful, as my life has been?
These questions cannot be answered. They will never be known. All that can be known are the steps that brought me to this place, and I will continue to walk them, even though I know the darkness towards which they lead me.
The past calls to me, and I give myself up to memories.
This is the end of La Petite Boulain, Part One of Above All Others, The Lady Anne.
In Part Two; The Lady Anne, Anne Boleyn returns to the lands of England, and to the court of Henry VIII.
About the Author
I find people talking about themselves in the third person to be entirely unsettling, so, since this section is written by me, I will use my own voice rather than try to make you believe that another person is writing about me to make me sound terribly important.
I am an independent author, publishing my books by myself, with the help of my lovely editor. I write in all the spare time I have. I briefly tried entering into the realm of ‘traditional’ publishing but, to be honest, found the process so time consuming and convoluted that I quickly decided to go it alone and self-publish.
My passion for history, in particular perhaps the era of the Tudors, began early in life. As a child I lived in Croydon, near London, and my schools were lucky enough to be close to such glorious places as Hampton Court and the Tower of London to mean that field trips often took us to those castles. I think it’s hard not to find the Tudors infectious when you hear their stories, especially when surrounded by the bricks and mortar they built their reigns within. There is heroism and scandal, betrayal and belief, politics and passion and a seemingly never-ending cast list of truly fascinating people. So when I sat down to start writing, I could think of no better place to start than somewhere and sometime I loved and was slightly obsessed with.
Expect many books from me, but do not necessarily expect them all to be of the Tudor era. I write as many of you read, I suspect; in many genres. My own bookshelves are weighted down with historical volumes and biographies, but they also contain dystopias, sci-fi, horror, humour, children’s books, fairy tales, romance and adventure. I can’t promise I’ll manage to write in all the areas I’ve mentioned there, but I’d love to give it a go. If anything I’ve published isn’t your thing, that’s fine, I just hope you like the ones I write which are your thing!
The majority of my books are historical fiction however, so I hope that if you liked this volume you will give the others in this series (and perhaps not in this series), a look. I want to divert you as readers, to please you with my writing and to have you join me on these adventures.
A book is nothing without a reader.
As to the rest of me; I am in my thirties and live in Cornwall with a rescued dog, a rescued cat and my partner (who wasn’t rescued, but may well have rescued me). I studied Literature at University after I fell in love with books as a small child. When I was little I could often be found nestled half-way up the stairs with a pile of books and my head lost in another world between the pages. There is nothing more satisfying to me than finding a new book I adore, to place next to the multitudes I own and love… and nothing more disappointing to me to find a book I am willing to never open again. I do hope that this book was not a disappointment to you; I loved writing it and I hope that showed through the pages.
This is only one in a large selection of titles coming to you on Amazon. I hope you will try the others.
If you would like to contact me, please do so.
On twitter, I am @TudorTweep and am more than happy to follow back and reply to any and all messages. I may avoid you if you decide to say anything worrying or anything abusive, but I figure that’s acceptable.
Via email, I am [email protected] a dedicated email account for my readers to reach me on. I’ll try and reply within a few days.
I publish some first drafts and short stories on Wattpad where I can be found at www.wattpad.com/user/GemmaLawrence31 . Wattpad was the first place I ever showed my stories, to anyone, and in many ways its readers and their response to my works were the influence which pushed me into self-publishing. If you have never been on the site I recommend you try it out. Its free, its fun and its chock-full of real emerging talent. I love Wattpad because its members and their encouragement gave me the boost I needed as a fearful waif to get some confidence in myself and make a go of a life as a real, published writer.
Thank you for taking a risk with an unknown author and reading my book. I do hope now that you’ve read one you’ll want to read more. If you’d like to leave me a review, that would be very much appreciated also!
Gemma Lawrence
Cornwall
2016
Thank You
…to so many people for helping me make this book possible… to my editor Brooke who entered into this with me and gave me her time, her wonderful guidance and also her encouragement. To my partner Matthew, who will be the first to admit that history is not his thing, and yet is willing to listen to me extol the virtues and vices of the Tudors and every other time period, repeatedly, to him and pushed me to publish even when I feared to. To my family for their ongoing love and support; this includes not only my own blood in my mother and father, sister and brother, but also their families, their partners and all my nieces who I am sure are set to take the world by storm as they grow. To Matthew’s family, for their support, and for the extended family I have found myself welcomed to within them. To my friend Petra who took a tour of Tudor palaces and places with me back in 2010 which helped me to prepare for this book and others; her enthusiasm for that strange but amazing holiday brought an early ally to the idea I could actually write a book… And lastly, to the people who wrote all the books I read in order to write this book… all the historical biographers and masters of their craft who brought Elizabeth, and her times, to life in my head.
Thank you to all of you; you’ll never know how much you’ve helped me, but I know what I owe to you.
Gemma
Cornwall
2016
G Lawrence, La Petite Boulain