by Evelyn Sola
“I’m not against that, but right now, I just need you.”
“You have me.”
“How did I get so lucky, huh?”
“Are you kidding me right now? I have the most beautiful girl on the planet agreeing to marry me. I’m the lucky one.” I jump into his arms, wrap my legs around him and kiss him, pouring my love into that kiss. He kisses me back, breathing his love into my body.
“I love you, Jay,” I whisper against his mouth.
“I love you, angel.”
CHAPTER 43
JASON
“Like I said before, I can’t believe I get the girl who loves carrot cake. Dee, did you bring me any strawberry shortcake?”
“It’s not your birthday.” Alex sticks her tongue out at me, and I blow her a kiss.
“You two are killing me,” Tina says. “No, I take that back. You four are killing me with all this love. My sister and her fiance, and their friends, the newlyweds. And I get to go home to a cold bed while my husband is away at a stupid conference. If I was single, I’d so set up a dating profile. Maybe even on Tinder.”
Everyone but her father laughs at Tina. He frowns at her and shakes his head in disapproval.
“I don’t want to hear about my daughter and Tinder. Don’t make me call Todd.” She looks at him in disbelief before she bursts into laughter. He reaches over and messes up her hair. “Yes, I know you think I’m a dinosaur, but I know what Tinder is.” He pulls her into his side and hugs her. She hugs him back as he kisses the top of her head. It’s a cute scene between father and daughter. Alex stops, her drink halfway to her mouth, a sad smile on her lips as she looks on. When she catches me watching her, she quickly averts her eyes.
I grab her hand, and everyone follows us as we walk inside.
“I’m going to torture myself some more here. Where did you two go for your honeymoon?” Tina asks.
Sandy reaches into the fridge and grabs the cake she brought. “Three weeks in Italy and one week in Paris. Oh, we snuck away to Greece for a few days in between. It was amazing.”
Tina, who until today, has been a no-nonsense business owner, visibly swoons.
Mellie and Ananda rush inside, holding the candles they forgot when they went out earlier. I grab them from Mellie and pretend to slap her upside the head for forgetting.
“Okay, happy birthday to Alex, take two. This party is not going to crash and burn like the first one,” Ananda, who has had one too many drinks, loudly professes.
The room goes quiet at her declaration, as everyone freezes, and then, like in a movie, we all start to move at the same time, no one addressing what she just said. As I put the candles on the cake, I hear, “I was wondering why you’re just now getting around to celebrating her birthday, but it seems there was already a party. One that was so awful, you had to throw her another one. What happened?” Alex’s father stares right at me as he asks the question, but I don’t flinch under his gaze.
“The cake fell on the floor,” Mellie says, giving Ananda an angry glare.
“When was this party?” he asks.
“About a week ago,” Alex replies.
“So, you got engaged after the awful party?”
“Dad, this isn’t an interrogation,” Tina says. “You’re retired, remember?”
“Well, it seems everybody knows what happened but me.” His sharp eyes go from me to Alex as he talks.
Instead of replying to him, Mellie puts the candles on the cake and Sandy busies herself with getting the ice cream.
Mr. Reilly’s sour expression softens when he turns to look at Sandy a few minutes later. “Honey,” he says to her, “this cake looks and smells phenomenal. Carrot is one of my favorites too.”
The tension in the room dies down as we sing happy birthday to Alex, and her cheeks are flushed with excitement. As we eat, Sandy and Jake talk about their honeymoon. I grab Alex’s legs and drape them over mine.
“Hey!” She hits my fork with hers before it can reach her cake. “There is half a cake ten feet away. Why are you eating mine? And you don’t like carrot cake, remember?” I ignore her, reach over and grab half of the cake left on her plate.
“I thought I didn’t, but this is amazing.”
“I agree with you on that, Jason. Best cake I’ve had in forever,” Tina says.
“Do you want some more coffee, Alex?” Alex asks her father. “I’ll make some.” Mellie catches my eye, a look of horror on her face. “It feels weird calling you Alex.”
“It’s weird to me too. I’m Dad to my kids.”
“Sit down. I’ll make the coffee.” I kiss her cheek and start to get up, but I can sense a change in her.
“I’m not ready for that yet, Mr. Reilly. Maybe we should do a paternity test.”
“Mr. Reilly is worse than Alex. I’m Dad. Just Dad. And if you want a paternity test, we can get one, but I already know you’re mine. You look like your mother, but you also look like my father. Your mannerisms, your smile. You’re a Reilly.”
“I can make arrangements at a lab,” I volunteer.
“Great,” my Alex says, standing up abruptly and grabbing my hand. “Let’s go make that coffee.”
“What if he’s not my father?” she asks as we wait for the coffee to finish brewing. “What if this is for nothing?”
“We’ll deal with it, but I’m pretty sure he is. The timing matches, and he and your mom were in love, and you do share some of his features. Don’t be nervous. Everything’s going to be okay.” I’m cut off by saying anything else when my phone rings. I pull it out and let out a curse when I see the unknown number.
“It’s Natalie.”
“Answer it.”
The call is complete in under two minutes. By the time I hang up, I know she’s in town for the paternity test, and I’m to report to the lab as soon as possible.
“Is it dangerous to the baby?”
“No. It’s a blood test for her and a cheek swab for me. She’s coming to town and will go to the lab on Tuesday. The lab isn’t far from the hospital, so I’ll try to get over there sometime Tuesday too. We’ll know within a week.”
The party goes on for hours after the phone call, and I’m unable to relax and enjoy it, but I refuse to let Natalie ruin another one of Alex’s parties. I laugh at the appropriate things, and talk at the right moments, all the while my heart is practically beating out of my chest. I ignore the looks Mr. Reilly keeps throwing at me and focus on Alex. She doesn’t seem to be upset by the call. She’s happy as she laughs and talks to everyone.
By the time everyone leaves, Mellie volunteers to clean up and we go to bed. Something snaps inside of me the second I get Alex naked. My mouth on hers is savage, as if I’m trying to brand her with my kisses. I suck on her breasts so hard, I leave purple bruises on her fair skin, but she doesn’t seem to mind. Her kisses are just as possessive, and her teeth leave marks along the side of my neck. When I finally slide inside of her, I don’t give her any time to adjust to me. I take her roughly, throwing one leg over my shoulder and going as deep as possible. Her nails dig into my skin, drawing blood, but I don’t stop. I go deeper. I thrust harder. Satisfied only when she starts to shudder and say my name. I capture her mouth and steal her breath. I explode inside of her, her name a rushed whisper against her wet mouth.
“Hey,” she says, breathless as she grabs my face with both hands, “I’m not going anywhere.”
I drop my eyes and rest my forehead on hers. “Promise me, Alex. Promise me you’ll always be here.”
“I love you, Jason. I’m yours. Always.”
CHAPTER 44
JASON
“Say it again.” I hate to wake her. It was a busy day and a long night last night. Despite my early hours, I couldn’t let her get to sleep. I took her over and over again. Each time, she was just as willing and desperate as me. “I need to hear it before I go.”
Knowing exactly what I need, she lifts her head, sleep marring her features and says, “I love you, Jason. I’
m yours. Always.” I finally kiss the top of her curly head and walk out of the room.
With no time to make coffee, I put on my shoes in the dim light by the front door before walking out. I don’t notice the car until my feet hit the sidewalk.
He hops out of the gray Silverado and walks to the passenger door, opening it.
“Get in,” he orders. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he slept in the car, but his clothes are different, and despite the early hour, he looks well rested.
“I think I’ll walk.” I turn and start my walk to the train station, but he runs and blocks my path. “You don’t intimidate me, Mr. Reilly. I don’t know what your problem is with me, and I don’t care.” The probing stares I received from him all day yesterday flash through my mind, irritating me worse than they did yesterday.
“I don’t have a problem with you. I want to get to know my future son-in-law.”
“You could have done that yesterday, but you didn’t. I know you’re a retired detective or whatever, but I’m not a criminal, and I don’t appreciate you barging into my home yesterday and treating me like one of your suspects.”
“Jason, get in the car. Let me buy you a cup of coffee and drive you to work.” When I don’t budge, I get a very terse, “Please.”
Without another word, I walk to his car and climb in. Unsurprisingly, the car is spotless. He navigates the empty streets and pulls into the drive-thru of a Dunkin Donuts. He orders two large coffees and two doughnuts.
“Listen,” he says, a few minutes later, “I don’t have a problem with you. I do what I always do. I study people. You got a little more attention because you’re going to marry my daughter.”
“Oh, stop. You didn’t even know she existed until a few days ago. Stop acting like the protective father.”
He comes to an abrupt stop at a red light. “That might be, but she’s still my daughter. My flesh and blood, and I loved her mother. If I had known, I would have been her father in every sense, but I’m not here to talk about that now. I was studying you because I wanted to know what kind of man you are. I can tell a lot by the company someone keeps. You love your sister and invited her in. That means you’re a man who’s about his family. You’ve known your best friend since you were teenagers, and you and his wife treat each other like family. You have a home. You’re loyal, and you love my daughter. I see the way you are with her. You calm her down. She was freaking out, but after talking to you, she was calmer. I like you, Jason, and I don’t like very many people. I can count them on one hand.”
I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been surprised in my life. Most recently was when Mellie agreed to move in with me, followed by meeting Alex. This is another surprising moment.
“Well, you might want to work on your face then.”
He snorts right before he takes a large gulp of coffee. “Not much I can do about this face after sixty-six years. I’m going to need your help with her. You’re her touchstone, Jason. I need you as a friend.”
“You got it. She’s lost a lot. It was always her and her mother, and then when she died, she was alone. She’s worried you and Tina coming into her life might be too good to be true, or a setup for another loss. Trust me, she wants this. She has a big heart. You just need to be consistent. Get to know her.”
He nods as he lets my words sink in. When he comes to another red light, he turns his eyes back on me, the same probing expression on his face.
“I can do that. Now, tell me what happened at the last party. When it came up, you looked like a man worried he was about to lose everything. I know that look well, so start talking. Let me help.”
I was going to tell him to fuck off, but his last words soften me. Though not enough for me to start talking. “That’s between me and my future wife.” I sip the coffee, the liquid bitter on my tongue.
“I know that look, Jason. I’ve seen it on my own face. What has you so scared of losing everything?”
“I’m not going to lose anything. We’re getting married. That’s the opposite of losing.”
He drives through the intersection without responding to my last words. I relax my shoulders, relieved at his lack of response. Unfortunately, my relief is short-lived.
“When’s the wedding?” It’s a simple and reasonable question, but coming from him, I know it’s nothing less than part of his interrogation.
“Soon. Wednesday. We’ll have a bigger wedding in a few months.”
“Mm-hmm,” he says, turning his eyes from me to the street. “You get engaged a few days after her first party blew up in your face, which was just a few days ago. You manage to get her to agree to marry you, but you’re rushing her to city hall instead of giving her the wedding she deserves.”
“You’re not listening,” I say a little bit more loudly than I should have. “I just told you we’re going to have a wedding in a few months.”
“I heard you. What’s the rush then? And don’t skirt around it, please. I’m a man who fell in love with another woman while I was married. There’s nothing you can tell me that will shock me or make me judge you. Consider me a friend.”
I scoff at that. “Do you interrogate all your friends? I’m not like you. I never and would never cheat on Alex. I have a past, and I did things I’m not proud of.”
“I know what that’s like. And no, I’m not ashamed of my time with Mariah and creating Alex. I’m ashamed I let Mariah go.”
“Well, your son was sick, and you didn’t know she was pregnant. No one will blame you for your choice.”
We’re quiet, and as he approaches an intersection to make a right turn, he looks at me waiting for me to speak. I’m not sure if this is his good cop routine, but I know the look of tenacity when I see it. He won’t stop, and if Natalie is telling the truth, there will be no hiding what’s to come.
“Natalie, my ex, she turned up at my house the night of the first party. Pregnant. She says it’s mine. To make things even more complicated, she’s married.” It’s a relief to say those words out loud to someone whose sole purpose is not to tell me that everything will be okay.
To his word, he doesn’t appear to be fazed by my confession. His facial expression doesn’t change at all, and after several minutes, he lets out a long whistle just as he pulls up and parks across the street from the hospital.
“I love her, sir. She’s agreed to marry me, regardless of what the paternity test says.”
“But you want to lock her down just in case. It’s harder to run when the law’s involved.”
I nod.
“Listen, I won’t be a hypocrite and give you a lecture about being with a married woman. But I don’t think Alex is a runner.”
“Natalie wasn’t married yet, but I suspected she had someone. And Alex did run after it happened. I didn’t know where she was for four days. Each day was like ten years off my life.”
“But she came back and agreed to marry you. She needed time and space. And there’s nothing wrong with that. She loves you too. I can see it. Her mother used to look at me the same way she looks at you. Families come in all varieties these days. It’s not like when I was your age, but she deserves more than a courthouse wedding in the middle of the week. Is she trouble? Your ex? Will she harm my daughter?”
“She’s not dangerous. She’s manipulative, but she won’t physically hurt anyone.”
“Good, otherwise I’d rain all kinds of hell on her. I still might. Figure it out, Jason. Get a DNA test. If you’re the father, be a father. Let Alex help you. Make her feel included. If you’re not, you cut all ties with her, otherwise you and I will have a problem. I meant what I said about us being friends. I’ve made all kinds of mistakes in my life, son. You’ll never get any judgment from me.”
I leave his car and cross the street. When I turn around, his car is gone. It’s not until I’m changing into my scrubs that I realize I never told him which hospital I worked at.
CHAPTER 45
ALEX
“You
have to relax, carrot cake. He’s fussy because you’re tense. Here, let me show you.” My father takes three-month-old Owen from my arms and cradles him. Instantly, the fussing ends and he coos.
While my father rocks him back and forth, I find his pacifier. He opens wide when he sees it and I push it in slowly. I catch my dad’s eye and we both smile as the baby rubs his eyes.
After my father left our house on Saturday, I saw him again first thing Monday morning. He was waiting for me when I left the house to go to work. He drove us to a lab where he paid extra to have the DNA results rushed. Twenty-four hours later, I had a father, a brother, a sister-in-law, a sister, a brother-in-law and two nephews.
Tina has everyone over at her house in Watertown for dinner. While everyone gushed over the baby, I kept a safe distance until my brother insisted I hold him.
My brother. My family. It feels so strange, but that’s what we’re becoming.
“You’re a part of us,” my father whispered when we arrived. Since Jason is meeting us here soon, he insisted on picking me up, despite living only a few minutes away from Tina.
“You’re good with him.” Owen has dozed off in his grandfather’s arms.
“You will be too. He’s going to love you.” He stands up with the baby and I follow him into the nursery where he gently lays him down. He strokes his hair before we walk out of the room. Once we’re out, he hugs me to him and kisses my forehead. “I’m so happy you’re here, carrot cake.” I laugh at the nickname, making no secret of loving it.
I reach into my pocket for my vibrating phone to find a message from Jason, telling me he’s on his way. He ends the text with a string of heart and kiss emojis.
Any minute now, he’ll get an email with the results of the paternity test for Natalie’s baby. Yesterday, he came to my office so we could walk to the lab together arm in arm, the world ignorant of the seriousness of what we were about to do. Despite the smile on my face and the light tone of my voice, my heart had been heavy. My fear palpable to my own ears.