She stopped herself mid-thought. Had she just been thinking that she loved Kane? No! It wasn’t possible… Was it? Kane was strong, good looking and sexy. He was also kind and considerate, loyal to his pack, intelligent and sensitive—though she suspected he’d deny that last point if asked. Yes, he had lots of great qualities but did she really love him? Maybe…
The bedroom door swung open and the object of her thoughts stood before her, naked except for the pyjama pants that hung low on his lean hips, barely disguising his desire for her. Elise’s gaze traced the six-pack of muscles that comprised his abdomen and the long, faintly pink scar that ran up his side. Moving higher still, she noted his strong arms and broad chest, the firm set of his jaw and the dark shaggy hair that fell across his forehead. His amber eyes seemed to be glowing as he looked upon her. A crooked smile adorned his face.
“There you are! I was just going to come looking for you. What did Marla want?”
“Oh, she just had a phone message for me, from a friend back home who’s going to be in town tomorrow. We’re meeting at the tea house after I’m done work tomorrow.”
“Mmm, that’ll be nice for you.” Kane answered rather distractedly, as he swept her up into his arms. As the door shut behind them, Elise felt the waves of desire building inside her again. She might not know if she loved Kane or not, but at the moment, the desperate need that was growing inside her was blocking out all other logical thought.
Chapter 19
Elise sat in the kitchen idly nibbling on a bagel, while watching Helen mix up a batch of muffins. Sunshine was streaming through the white lace curtains into the homey room. It beamed across the marble counter top, highlighting little specks of flour that drifted lazily through the air. The grey-haired woman hummed under her breath as she stirred in the flour, then added some raisins and spices to the thick rich batter. Helen never seemed happier than when she was preparing food for the endless stream of visitors through the Alpha house. Sometimes, Elise suspected the pack members came more for a sample of Helen’s cooking than they did to actually talk with John or Kane.
This morning, half a dozen men were gathered in the office, discussing a recent financial report. Since the pack was old and well established—well over a century—they’d amassed a tidy sum through the pooling of resources and sound investments. The current economy and the oil spill cleanup were having some minor negative impacts on their capital, or so Kane had explained to her that morning. Not having a head for finances, Elise had merely nodded politely at the gathering, and then headed for the kitchen were the topics of conversation where likely to be more to her taste.
Carrie was also avoiding the drone of voices embroiled in financial mumbo-jumbo. She sat across the table from Elise, her feet propped on a chair. Her ankles already showed signs of swelling, despite the fact that it was still early in the day. A cup of herbal tea rested on her bulging stomach and she idly rubbed her abdomen as she grumbled. “I am going to be so glad when this is over.”
Helen raised an eyebrow. “Seems to me just a month or two ago, you were raving about the wonders of expectant motherhood.”
“Yeah, well that was before, when I could still see my feet and get a decent night’s sleep.” Carrie shifted in her chair. “Now I just want this pup out of me and in my arms so that my body is my own again.”
“So… is being pregnant really hard?” Elise furrowed her brow slightly. When she’d decided last night to let nature take its course, she’d only been thinking about the two ends of the project. The fun of having sex with Kane and then the possibility of having a child to love and nurture. She’d conveniently ignored the middle part.
“It has its moments,” Carrie sighed but then a smile crept over her face. “But for the most part, it’s been an amazing experience. Why? Are you and Kane already thinking of having a family?”
Elise shrugged. “We talked about it. My heat will start next week and I think I’ll go drug free and see what happens, especially since I don’t react well to the drugs.” She left out the part about Kane using condoms—she didn’t know if he’d appreciate her talking about that with the other women or not.
Carrie giggled. “I’ll tell you what will happen. Your pheromones will turn Kane into the most passionate, possessive mate you’ve ever seen, while you’ll be this sex-starved maniac.”
“No, I won’t! Will I?” Elise denied the idea but then blushed and bit her lip in trepidation. No one had ever mentioned that! The idea of being out of control wasn’t too appealing.
Helen snorted and then offered some reassurance. “Carrie’s just teasing you, Elise. Your first undrugged heat will seem a bit more intense, because you’ve never let that side of you be unleashed before and you’re not sure what to expect, but it’s not a constant state. It’s more like waves or the tide. It builds up to a peak, and then ebbs for awhile, then builds up again.”
“Oh! That’s good. How many…er…’tides’ should I expect?” It was a bit embarrassing for Elise to admit that she didn’t know these things, but she’d grown up without a mother. Sarah had stepped in as a surrogate on several occasions, but for some reason, this topic had never come up. And the giggling, teenage conversations with her friends possibly hadn’t contained the most reliable information.
“Probably two or maybe three a day, depending on your emotional state.” Helen supplied the answer while popping the muffins into the oven.
“You just better hope they aren’t tidal waves!” Carrie quipped before reaching over and patting Elise’s arm. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t tease you. It wasn’t that long ago that John and I were newly mated. I remember all the uncertainty that went with it.”
“That’s okay. I’m just happy for any advice or insight you ladies have to offer.” Elise traced a pattern on the table wondering if she should broach a subject that had been weighing on her mind since last night. “As a matter of fact, I was wondering if I could ask you something about Kane.”
“Sure. We might not know the answers, but ask away.” Carrie looked at Helen who nodded in agreement. Grabbing a cup of coffee, Helen sat down at the table and they both looked expectantly at Elise.
“Well…” Elise began slowly. “Last night, when Kane and I were discussing having a family, he seemed sort of sad or wistful. And awhile back, he mentioned not really having much of a family life while growing up, so I started wondering about his background. Where are Kane’s parents? He’s not that old; I would have thought they’d still be here.”
“Well, it’s not really a secret.” Carrie paused and sipped her tea thoughtfully.
“No.” Helen agreed. “I suppose Kane won’t mind us telling you. His mother, Mindy, was originally mated to Ryne’s father who belonged to another pack. No one knows why, but the relationship didn’t last and she came back here when Ryne was only a baby. Not long after that, a rogue wolf passed through. She hooked up with him—despite everyone warning her— and left, taking Ryne with her. Then about two years later, she was back again but this time, she had Kane as well as Ryne. They stayed for another year, then Carter—that’s Kane’s father—came around again. He tried to live with the pack but could never seem to fit in. When he left, Kane’s mother took the boys and went with him again, only to return after a few months on the road.”
“That sort of set the pattern for several years until finally the Alpha at the time put his foot down. They had to either stay or leave because the constant coming and going wasn’t good for the pack. Every time he arrived, Carter upset the balance of the hierarchy. He wasn’t interested in being a ‘team player’ and only looked out for himself, rather than the good of the pack. Carter’s personality was too dominant to accept someone as his Alpha; he was meant to be a lone wolf. He didn’t have the temperament to be around others—too quick to fly off the handle, if you ask me. Anyway, after the ultimatum, Carter left and Mindy went along but this time she left the boys behind with me and Zack. Ryne was thirteen at the time and Kane was almost twelve. I think
Mindy knew the moving around wasn’t good for them, but she loved Carter too much to give him up, so she did what she thought was best.”
“We haven’t seen Mindy or Carter since. Someone once said they’d gone to Europe while another rumour had them in South America.” Carrie shrugged. “No one knows for sure.”
“That must have been really hard on Kane and Ryne, always moving about—constantly joining the pack, then leaving again. And then to be abandoned by their mother…” Elise felt an ache in her heart. She’d lost her own mother around that age but at least her parent hadn’t chosen to leave her. She wondered if Kane and Ryne had felt hurt and betrayed. Wolves were pack animals, and with a few exceptions, needed the stability and structure of a group. Even if the pack was a family unit with only four members, to have that taken away must have been devastating.
Helen’s next words confirmed her suspicions. “The boys were pretty shook up at first, but after a while they came to realise that we were giving them a permanent home. Kane especially seemed happy to be settled, finally. Both boys were so grateful for anything we did for them. Neither of them ever said anything, but I’m sure they had very little to live on for most of their lives, what with following Carter around all over the country. The man never kept a job for long. And personally, I suspect that he wasn’t the best role model. His temper was short and nasty, and he had a roving eye, too. I can just imagine what the boys experienced. Neither Kane nor Ryne ever really talked about it, but we all had our suspicions.”
Carrie spoke, a distant look in her eye as she searched for childhood memories. “Growing up, we all played together and I remember how Kane and Ryne kept appearing and then leaving. All the other kids thought it was strange because our pack was so stable. Sure, someone new came along now and then but it was a revolving door with those two. They’d be there one day, then gone the next, and half a year later, they’d reappear once more. Sometimes, when they first arrived back, they’d be so distant, as if they were afraid and didn’t dare join in. Both of them seemed thin, too, like they hadn’t eaten enough—even as pups we noticed it.”
“It wouldn’t surprise me.” Helen pursed her lips. “I talked to Mindy about how Carter treated her and the boy,s but she always said nothing was wrong. If I saw a bruise or a mark, she had a story to go with it. She’d fallen or the boys had been playing too rough. Zack even tried to make her talk but she never would admit anything. It was sad and a bit strange that she felt such loyalty to Carter when he obviously didn’t deserve it.”
Elise could just imagine Kane as a child, underfed and dragged from one place to the next: subjected to the whims of a domineering, ill-tempered man who didn’t care enough about his family to provide them with a stable home life. She wasn’t sure how she felt about his mother, but at least by leaving them behind, she’d given her sons a chance at a normal life with Helen and Zack.
Absentmindedly, Carrie stirred her tea as she continued to talk. “Ryne and Kane were really close, like they’d formed their own little pack to compensate for not having one of their own. There was always a sort of reserve about them, as if they didn’t dare get too close to anyone for fear they’d leave. Once, we were all talking about how great it would be to see the world—you know how you get itchy feet in your mid-teens. Anyway, someone complained about how boring life in the pack was and Kane got really mad. He said it was awful to never know where your home was, or to have close friends because of always moving from place to place. Kane felt that belonging somewhere, and having a family, was the most important thing in the world.”
“You could see it in the boys’ eyes, especially Kane’s, when they finally realised this was home and they belonged here.” Helen reminisced. “Such a change came over them. The two of them scoured over every nook and cranny of the whole territory, learning every feature and immersing themselves in pack history. It was like they’d been given the best gift in the whole world. I think that’s why Kane is so passionate about the land and protective of the pack. He knows what it’s like to be an outsider and now that he has a home, he’ll do anything for it.”
Just then the timer for the oven rang and Helen jumped up to check on her muffins. Elise glanced at the clock and gasped. ”Oh no! Look at the time! I’m going to be late for work, if I don’t get a move on.” Dashing from the kitchen, she raced upstairs, intent on grabbing her purse and a coat. Thankfully she was already dressed in her waitressing uniform. Opening the bedroom door, she slammed into Marla who was just leaving the room.
“Oh!” Marla stared at her, looking rather flustered, clutching a book in her hand. “I…I was just getting a book to read. I remembered that Kane had a great collection in his sitting room.”
Surprised to find Marla in her room, Elise brought up a point Kane had mentioned to her the very first day. “I thought Kane said our rooms were out of bounds to the rest of the pack.”
Something—possibly irritation—flashed across Marla’s eyes but it was gone before Elise was sure. “Kane meant the rest of the pack. I’m such old friends with him; he doesn’t mind me popping in now and then.”
“Umm… Sure.” Elise paused momentarily. Marla and Kane did go way back so it was possible that he’d said that, but something seemed off about the story. Unfortunately, she really didn’t have time to question Marla, and, after all what harm was there in borrowing a book, anyway? Dismissing the whole situation, she brushed past the other woman, calling over her shoulder. “I’ll see you later—I don’t want to be late for work.”
Elise grabbed her purse and coat, took a quick glance around the room but saw nothing amiss. Giving a shrug she left the room, carefully closing the door behind her. As she headed for the stairs, Marla was still standing in the hallway. “Elise, don’t forget I told that fellow you’d meet him at the Grey Goose after your shift was over.”
“I know. I haven’t forgotten, but thanks anyway,” Elise waved in acknowledgement as she ran out of the house.
Chapter 20
Elise spent most of her drive to work thinking about Kane. His childhood explained a lot about him now as an adult. As Helen had pointed out, not having a stable home or a real pack while growing up, made him fiercely protective and loyal of what he had now. And his consideration of her as a new member of the pack made sense too. How many times had he felt that awkwardness, moving somewhere new and trying to fit in? Then there was his speech about ‘moments of great disappointment.’ She kept coming back to that, but it could have any number of meanings. At one time, she thought it might have referred to Marla, or it could be about his brother turning on him, but now she wondered if it was his mother leaving him behind, or possibly even his whole childhood.
The more she thought about it, the more she realized that Kane was a very complex person, with one foot in the past—dealing with the ancient traditions and animal instincts of a male werewolf and pack Alpha—and the other in the future—trying to follow modern cultural norms and expectations. She imagined that the two extremes often fought for dominance inside him, requiring a great deal of self-control. On top of that, he had experienced more than his fair share of difficulties growing up, yet despite it all, he was still one of the nicest men she’d ever met.
She wondered if Kane took after his mother or his father—probably the former, if Helen and Carrie’s recollections of Carter were to be believed. The man reportedly had a nasty, uncontrolled temper and while Kane had shown his anger on a few occasions, it seemed to be kept on a leash. Carter also had a—how had they put it—a ‘roving eye.’ Had Kane and Ryne been aware of that? Were either of them like their father in that respect?
Kane certainly seemed to know what he was doing in bed and he had to have gained that knowledge from somewhere, though the idea caused a pain in her chest. She knew he’d been involved with Marla, but who else? No other names had been mentioned within her hearing, but he was far too sexy, and too much of a male, to have remained celibate for most of his life. Werewolf society had a bit of a double st
andard. The males were allowed to roam but, for the most part, the females were mated young. A few, such as Marla, went against the tradition—times were changing after all, but it wasn’t the norm.
If Kane hadn’t gotten his experience within the pack, it was probably with some of the human females in town. They were notoriously susceptible to the aura of power that surrounded a werewolf, though most of them never found out what exactly drew them to the strong, good-looking men. All weres were secretive about their true identities. They had to be in order to survive.
The Mating Page 20