by A. M. Mahler
My mind started to wander as the lunch hour crawled by. Stacey picked at her food and Megan continued to lecture her about the way boys should act. In reality, Megan was jealous that Stacey had a crush—and one that sort of spoke to her—and Megan was basically in romance exile. She was beautiful, with deep auburn hair and bright green eyes. She was brilliant, in all honors classes, up on current events in the federal government, foreign policy, and social issues trending in the country today. She was also a hardcore feminist. Most of the guys in our class thought she was a lesbian, which was a total stereotype. Either way, she scared the hell out of them.
When the bell rang, I hung back and watched Jagger. He’d barely engaged with his friends the entire lunch hour. I gave him his privacy. Maybe that was the problem. When he crossed the cafeteria, I stopped myself from sighing over how good looking he was. Jagger was about five-ten and ripped. He stayed in shape during the off-season between football and baseball. He also had a black belt in martial arts. That, he had done for me. And I am not going to lie, it made my heart go a flutter when I discovered he was learning it just in case he ever had to physically defend me.
I may have been utterly repulsed by the social hierarchy that existed at Alpine Valley High, but I was still a girl, and my heart still melted over his devotion.
He paused at the door, turned his head over his shoulder, and looked directly at me. Crap. That was unexpected. My gaze locked on his, and I was sucked into those eyes. From this distance, you couldn’t make out what color they were, but I knew they were chocolate brown. He hated them because he thought they were ordinary. To me they looked like tiger eyes with little flecks of gold in them. All he saw when he looked in the mirror was ordinary brown hair and brown eyes.
He was anything, but ordinary.
“Tell him.” It was the “voice” of my grandfather, and I was jolted by his sudden presence in my mind. I could also feel Jagger prodding, trying to get in. He was checking to see if it was me. If I was his Supergirl. My grandfather was insistent. “I need him to know now, Livvy! Either you tell him yourself or I do, and he gets mad that it didn’t come from you. It’s time.”
Jagger squinted his eyes just a bit. This was the first time he got this close to guessing who I was. I should have known he would eventually figure it out. I grabbed my stuff and hurried out the other door, but in my haste, I slammed into somebody walking by. We went down in a tumble of curses and grunts. Jagger was instantly at my side and trying to gather up what he thought might be mine.
“What the hell?” The boy I had knocked over said, standing up. I looked up. I didn’t know the guy’s name, but he was a junior. “Look where you’re freaking going.”
Then Jagger stood up to his full height. He had a few inches on the kid and the other boy cowered. “Sorry, DeWinter. Didn’t see you. No worries.” Jagger wasn’t a bully, but he could intimidate the hell out of someone with just a look. The kid scrambled off, not willing to get on Jagger’s bad side.
Then it was just the two of us.
I held my breath as Jagger and I stared at each other—me on the floor and him standing above me like an avenging angel. He was, to use the simplest word, lovely. He held his hand out extended down to me, and I glanced at it before looking back up to him. This was the very moment both of us had dreamed about—and at the same time, a moment I had never wanted to happen. Once I took his hand, he would be in danger too. I didn’t know why my grandfather had decided to fully expose us to Jagger. Grandpa knew how I felt about involving him. When I had first connected with him, I was too young to understand the consequences of my actions. I was just so happy to finally find someone like me. Proof that I wasn’t as weird as I thought since here was this boy—this wonderfully, amazing boy—that not only understood me but could communicate with me.
His hand still hung in front of me, and I looked at it like it was a lifeline and a hot burner all at once.
“Please.”
My gaze snapped up to his, and I scrambled to my feet without touching him. “Don’t do that,” I said in a harsh whisper. “You have to talk to me. Nobody can have the slightest inkling of what is going on between us. Our lives depend on it, Jagger. Do you understand me?”
Only I don’t think he heard a word I said. His eyes traveled over my face like he was looking at a priceless work of art—like van Gogh’s Starry Night or Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel—with a reverence I had never seen before. I realized that this was a much bigger moment for him than it was for me.
He dropped his backpack off his shoulder and both hands gently came up to cup my face. “Olivia Miller,” he said softly, his fingertips just lightly grazing my skin. “It’s you, you’re real.”
“You knew I was real.” I dropped my gaze and brought my hands up to his. Pulling them down to our sides. I let go, but as soon as I did his hands sprang back up again. This time he slid his hands across my face and to the back of my neck. For a horrified minute, I thought he was going to pull me in for a kiss, but instead, he sank the fingers of one hand into my hair and wrapped the other around my waist.
Then I was in his arms and there really wasn’t a more perfect place to be on earth. Everything felt right, like it would all be okay. And it was, all because I was being held by this boy like he never wanted to let me go. I never wanted to be let go. My arms slid around his waist, and I rested my cheek on his chiseled chest. He felt just as incredible as I’d always thought he would.
“Don’t let go.”
Never.
I really shouldn’t encourage telepathy in school, but this was our moment, and I didn’t want it intruded upon by anyone. It was bad enough someone coming around the corner was going to be shocked to find Jagger DeWinter, quarterback, pitcher, and all-around golden boy, in a very intimate embrace with mousy, little nobody, Olivia Miller.
Despite that I just could not stop him. I was in his arms, and I hadn’t been prepared for how much it would feel like coming home.
Jagger
Holy shit, it’s Olivia Miller—sweet, quiet, perfect Olivia is my soul mate. I switched the positioning of my hands and pulled her tighter to me. I didn’t want to let her go. I couldn’t ever let this ethereal being out of my arms. My Supergirl.
Olivia finally pulled back and looked at me. Her eyes—how had I never noticed the depth of her eyes? The blue was striking and when she looked at me, I knew she saw me. She knew absolutely everything there was to know about me. Why had I never taken a second look at this divine being?
“Let’s go somewhere,” I said, tucking a lock of her chestnut hair behind her ear. I couldn’t believe it. Olivia Miller had been right in front of my face the entire time. She hid herself well.
“We have class.”
Like that was going to happen. I barked out a sarcastic half laugh. “Yeah, clearly, we’re not going to class.”
“Jagger,” she said. “We can’t skip class. We cannot draw attention to ourselves. We have to go on like nothing’s different.”
“Number one,” I said with an edge to my voice. Sorry, but what she just said was crap. I may have just discovered who her physical being was, but I knew this girl by heart. “I’ll be damned if I’m going back to the way things were, and number two, this is a pivotal moment in my life and it’s happening right now—a life changing moment. I’m not going to ignore it in favor of going to Physics. Number three, everything is different, Olivia.”
“Jagger ...”
“I can’t just sit there. I’m too amped up. We need to go somewhere. Olivia, we have to. This moment is too big for the both of us to blow it off.”
She shook her head as if that alone could possibly change my mind. My silly Supergirl. I had waited my entire short life for this moment. There was nothing more important than her. Her, she had a name now. It was Olivia Miller. We shared a connection that I was not sure if anyone else on the planet had.
I bent down and picked up our backpacks, slung them around my shoulder and took her hand, tugging
her towards the side door. The woods were just beyond. There was only one class we would be missing and then I had baseball practice. I would have liked to skip that, too. Only a big game was coming up and people would ask questions if the starting pitcher wasn’t there. More than anything Olivia didn’t seem to want that.
Olivia. I couldn’t believe I finally knew her name. I could look at her angelic face and know it was Her. She thought she was average looking? My ass. I had always thought Olivia was a pretty girl. She was quiet though and kept mostly to herself. Now I knew why. Why didn’t I think of her? All these years, I had never once thought my Supergirl was Olivia Miller. I’d always focused on girls that showed an interest in me. I thought she was messing with me. Except now that I look back on things, it was obvious that she would have been a girl who showed no interest in me.
As we walked, my thumb gently caressed the skin on her hand. I had to remind myself that she was real, and I could touch her. I planned on doing a lot of that. No, I wasn’t talking about sex, although I think sex with her would blow my freaking mind. Olivia and I, we were deeper than that. This is a girl that knows absolutely everything there is to know about me. I mean, everything. And I know everything about her. I fell in love with her being not her body. We were inexplicably drawn together. That was not something I was going to mess up by having sex too soon.
Suddenly, with Olivia by my side, things that seemed important before lunch fell away—baseball, the stupid prom, the Physics test I was now missing.
My heart had stopped when her name popped into my mind from out of nowhere. One minute I was on my way to Physics, and the next, a voice in my head said, “Olivia Miller.” Who was it? No idea. I couldn’t hear anyone else. My body had frozen, and my breath caught. Slowly, I turned around and there she was, eyes locked with mine. Like two opposite magnets, the pull towards her was automatic. I couldn’t walk out of that cafeteria if I tried.
Nobody saw us as we disappeared into the trees. I was confident in that because Olivia was listening. I wondered if she could teach me to hear more people. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to though. Now that we were together, I had to believe we were stronger than when we were apart.
I veered to the east because I wanted to avoid the spot where I lost my virginity to Tiffany Bosco my sophomore year and the other place where I took Chrissy Higgin’s virginity junior year. Now as I hunted for a place that could be just mine and Olivia’s, I was sorry that I had those other two encounters. I was sorry I had not saved myself for her. I knew I could get ripped on by my friends for thinking that, but they didn’t have an Olivia. At least, I didn’t think they did. I guess I didn’t really know how many people could connect like she and I could. Maybe Alpine Valley was a sleeping haven for supernatural beings—if that was what we were considered.
I stopped when we found a clearing with downed trees to sit on. I dropped our bags and spun on Olivia, pulling her close by her waist and tipping my forehead to hers.
Tell me you feel it too. I can’t go back to the way things were.
“Jagger, you have to speak to me,” she said, pulling her head back. “You have to get used to speaking to me out loud. We cannot allow anyone to think that we can communicate in our minds. You have to listen to me. Do you know what is going to happen if you walk down the hallway in school holding my hand? Everyone will talk about it. Attention will be on us.”
“I don’t care!” I didn’t want to speak to her out loud. I wanted to communicate with her in our heads. I needed that. I craved that connection. But I would do what she asked of me for now. She owned me. I would do anything she asked of me.
Except pretend she didn’t exist in my world.
“Jagger, listen to me,” she said vehemently. “If it weren’t for my grandfather, I’d be strapped to a table in a lab right now. If people start talking about me, word of our existence might get to those that hunt me. If they find me, then they find you. I can’t have that.” Pulling away from me, she sat on one of the logs. My hands felt empty, but if she needed a little bit of distance, I would give it to her.
A very little distance.
“Was that your grandfather’s voice in my head? Did he tell me your name?”
“It must have been.” She dropped her chin to her hands and looked glum. “I need to go home and find out why.”
“After practice,” I insisted. “I’ll follow you. Tomorrow, I’ll pick you up and we’ll ride together.” Before she could argue, I held up my hand, palm out. “I know your concerns, and I appreciate you trying to protect me. But Olivia, we both know that you are the more precious commodity here. I can only hear you. You can hear everyone, and you can heal. I made it my life’s mission to prepare myself to protect you. I would have been at a shooting range the last few years if my parents would have let me.”
I could feel her resolve as she dropped her hands. I was right. She knew it and hated it. When I crossed to the log and sat down next to her, she turned her body toward me. Just like I was drawn to her, she was drawn to me. Hell if I could figure out why. Damned if I cared.
I brushed her hair away from her face with my fingers. I had to see all of this face. I couldn’t get enough of it. I straddled the log and moved closer to her. Her breath hitched as she realized I was about to kiss her.
I have to. I’ve been dreaming of it. Will you punch me if I kiss you?
“I’ve never kissed anyone before.”
I’m fully aware. Trust me, Livvy, I won’t hurt you. Her eyes widened a bit at the nickname I’d just called her. I wondered if her parents had called her that. I knew she was raised by her grandfather.
Olivia closed her eyes and nodded. I was moved by her complete trust in me. I didn’t move in slowly like you saw in the movies. I swooped right in like a victorious king pillaging the conquered. Only I was not there to dominate her. I was just that desperate to taste her. I knew the gift she was giving me. There had never been a push and pull for power with us.
The second our lips touched, there was a shock that slammed through my system, right down to my toes and made me pause. That had never happened to me before. Of course, I was never invested in another girl the way I was in Olivia. Even at the tender age of eighteen, I knew she was the last girl I was ever going to kiss for the first time and treated the moment accordingly. I may have come in hot, but I slowed things down, kissing along her lips and the edges of her mouth before gently urging her lips open with my tongue. Her breath caught, but she opened to me.
I moaned a bit as my tongue slipped inside. There was a part of me that was inside her body and that made me wild. The kiss spun out, and I knew she was one hundred percent on board when she lifted up and wrapped her legs around my waist to sit in my lap. She was as frantic as I was and my hands ran down her back, up her sides, into her hair. She tightened her arms around me, and I did the same. It was almost like we were trying to physically pull ourselves into each other to become one person.
Didn’t she know we already were?
When the damn alarm on my cell phone went off, she pulled back. Meanwhile, I was still left reeling from the most amazing experience of my life.
“Practice,” she said, her breath coming in pants. Encouraged by the disappointed look on her face, I pulled her back for another brief kiss before I finally stood up and grabbed our backpacks. I held out my hand for hers. When she reached out, I took our joined hands and lifted them up, kissing the inside of her wrist. It was an intimate gesture that made her blush.
You head to the field. I have to hit the locker room.
“Out loud, Jagger,” she said wearily. “You have to get into that habit.”
Not when we’re alone. I need this communication. It’s what I know with you. My world was tilted right off its axis today. This is normal for us.
Sighing, she nodded her head. “I’m just so scared. We can’t make a single mistake. If they get us, it’ll be worse than death.”
After practice, you and your grandfather are going to h
ave to tell me everything. Something must have spooked him to bring me in now.
I kept a firm grip on her hand the entire way back. When we emerged from the trees people were everywhere. Some were heading to their cars, others to various sports or activities. Nobody paid too much attention to us. Olivia broke away before I could pull her in for another kiss and we headed towards the school.
Reluctantly, I gave her the distance she seemed to need then. The problem was, she’d had ten years to come to grips with the fact that she could connect telepathically with me. I’d only discovered who she was today. I still needed to make sure she was real and wasn’t going to disappear when I woke up from one of the thousands of dreams I had over the last decade about discovering her real identity. My driving need was to bail on baseball practice and go somewhere that I could absorb this—absorb her. Except I couldn’t miss a practice now with our biggest game of the season coming up. Physics, yes; baseball, no.
When we came upon the gym, she kept walking without looking back at me or saying anything. Beyond where she was walking, I could see some girls already in the bleachers waiting for the team to come out for practice. There were girls that came for nearly every practice and game. They were not cheerleaders. They were something more like groupies. I was not sure what they thought they were going to accomplish sitting up there. While I knew they were there, I never knew who any of them were. Some guys on the team knew exactly who was up there and had taken what they were offering. I imagined those girls were there now looking for dates to the prom.
Olivia stopped walking and looked at the stands for a minute before turning on her heel and heading back toward the school. She said nothing when she passed me—at least not out loud.