by Fiona Cavell
The older two children wanted turns at being thrown into the air and jumped up and down impatiently, shouting, “Daddy, Daddy, my turn!”
Sicarus looked at them and struck another cruel blow. “Your mummy won’t let you, my poor children. She wants to stop your fun. Horrible Mummy.”
Fiona sunk as the children pleaded with her not to stop their fun and to let them have a turn with Daddy. How could she say no? So she stood there awkwardly while the man who had harmed her in every way possible pretended to care about his children by making them laugh.
“Daddy has to go now to do your grandad’s work,” Sicarus told the children. “The work is easy and will only take me an hour a day at the most, so I will have lots of time to see you and play with you.” He smiled boastfully.
“Daddy, we have moved – do you know where we live now?” Gabrielle asked him innocently.
“Of course, I do.” Sicarus beamed. “Daddy knows everything about Mummy. I will come and see you all later.”
The hairs on the back of Fiona’s neck were still sticking up as she approached the other mother’s hut and asked her to please look after the children for the rest of the day, so Fiona could concentrate on her work.
After a long day of cleaning, feeding and looking after the animals, Fiona returned to the other mother’s hut to collect the children. “Their father collected them ten minutes ago,” the woman, called Beverly, explained. “They had been under my feet all day, along with my own children. I didn’t know when you were coming for them, and their father not only offered to take them but my own children as well, so I could catch up with all the things I needed to do. What a kind man!”
Fiona couldn’t listen any more, so she muttered her thanks and scurried off in search of her children.
She ran to her parents’ old hut, but no one was there. She noticed that Sicarus had painted the door a different colour, bright red, and had dug up the pretty flowers her father had planted at the front. The hut looked more aggressive now and masculine, no longer the sweet home of her childhood. Fiona searched the village for signs of her children but found no clues. She was beside herself. Dusk was creeping in and she worried constantly that Sicarus had taken the children for good and she would never see her baby angels again. She began to cry.
Finally, after what seemed an eternity, the children were returned, and came tumbling through the door excited, tired and very hungry. “Daddy said you would have food waiting for us,” Jegudiel cried when he saw the empty table. Fiona hid her tears and hurriedly prepared some food for the impatient children. Her instincts told her that Sicarus was still lurking about outside somewhere in the shadows, watching her every move.
*
Sicarus turned up at Fiona’s charity hut on the outskirts of the village at different times for the next few weeks. There was no pattern as to when to expect him, and indeed whenever someone walked past the hut she jumped and thought it would be Sicarus. All Fiona knew was that the children seemed pleased to see him. She really didn’t want to talk to him, but felt she needed to in order to establish a regular pattern for the children. She generally had to take care of the animals first thing in the morning and again in the early afternoon for a few hours each time, and had to rely on the other mother, Beverly, who now seemed more and more reluctant, when the children were not at school. It meant that Fiona was at home with the children around midday for a couple of hours, and each evening. So she finally plucked up the courage and tried to speak to Sicarus about the children.
She knew he was only spending about an hour a day on his occupation, and stupidly thought he could see the children when she was busy with hers. How wrong she was. When she suggested this, he just laughed at her and snorted, “I will never be a babysitter for your children. You will have to sort out sitters yourself to allow you to carry out your work. I know how ill your mother is, how she sits still in the chair every day, unable to look after your children. I know she has lost everything including her hut, which has been given to me. I hope she suffers and dies, and you will be left alone with nothing and no one. I will turn up to see the children only when I want to, and only to prevent you spending time with them when you want to. I will destroy you and everyone around you, including your children. That is a promise.” He whispered the last words to her and then barged into her hut and pretended to be sad, telling the children that he had come to take them on a magical trip to the beach but couldn’t because Mummy was horrible and wouldn’t let them go. The children were naturally upset, and Jegudiel even started to hit at her legs, shouting that she was horrible.
Fiona saw Sicarus many times during the next few weeks, in various places around the village. He was there when she took the children to and from school and the other mother Beverley’s hut. He was there when she was taking care of the village animals. He was there outside her charity hut when she returned home. But he never once took the children. He just called to them, telling them their mother was horrible and wouldn’t let them have fun with their daddy, and then watched them become upset and take out their emotions on Fiona. On one occasion she tried to call his bluff and stupidly spoke directly to the children, telling them they were free to go with him and she wasn’t stopping them, and she wanted them to have a nice time with their daddy. But Sicarus spoke loudly over her, telling the children not to listen to Mummy’s lies and it was her and only her preventing them having fun. The children were left feeling betrayed, unwanted and confused, and Fiona felt she could say no more as it would make it worse.
Chapter Thirteen
There was another death in the village. This time a young man with a young family had died in the forest. He had apparently been attacked by an animal. Rumours started that it might not have been one of the wild animals from deep in the forest but one of the village animals that hadn’t been looked after properly by Fiona and had gone insane. The young man’s widow was devastated, and the temporary hut in the middle of the village was used to hold his funeral feast. Fiona wasn’t invited. Sicarus was chief mourner and stood by the widow’s side throughout the funeral and played with her children. The widow, called Phyllis, cried on his broad shoulders.
A few weeks later the widow came to Fiona’s charity hut on the outskirts of the village. Fiona’s mother remained sitting still in her chair as Fiona invited Phyllis into her hut. “I’ve come on behalf of Sicarus,” the widow began. “We have grown closer recently and I want you to know that as a mother I am completely disgusted by your actions. How can you stop your children from seeing their father?” Then she sobbed, “My children would give anything to have their father back in their lives, but they never will.”
Fiona tried to explain that Sicarus was the one refusing to see his children, that it was all just a sick game to him and he was a bird who had hurt her, but the widow retorted that Sicarus had told her Fiona would say this, that Fiona was an unfit mother and she would help Sicarus to ensure that the children would be taken away from her. “As for a bird that hurts you,” spat the widow, holding back her anger, “that is utter nonsense. Birds are beautiful and magical and would never hurt anyone. Sicarus is kind and strong and I know he would never have hurt you. I know him well enough by now to know that you are the liar and shouldn’t be allowed to have your children. I am going to help Sicarus go back to the court, and this time he will win. The court won’t believe any more of your lies.” With that she stormed out of the hut, and once again Fiona’s instincts told her that Sicarus was lurking outside in the shadows, listening to every word. She cried well into the night.
Sicarus helped by the widow Phyllis applied once again to the court in the neighbouring village for custody of Gabrielle, Jegudiel and Duriel, claiming that Fiona was an unfit mother. When Fiona heard this, she wept bitterly. The court hearing was again set for eight days’ time. And so began the worst eight days of Fiona’s life. Again.
Even though she knew what to expect – the unadorned te
mporary hut in the rising boldly in the middle of the neighbouring village, the three strangers waiting there to decide the whole lifetime and upbringing of her children whom they had never met, the agony of waiting for the court’s determination – the court case the second time around was just as scary. Perhaps scarier, because now Sicarus had the widow as his supporter and Fiona had no one. Two against one. He would surely win this time; if not because the number of witnesses was weighted against her, but simply by the law of averages.
*
Seven days before the court case, she again considered running away with the children. They were a little older now and had learned a great deal about survival over the past few months. Gabrielle had become used to looking after her younger brothers, and Jegudiel and Duriel had in turn become used to looking after themselves. They had all grown up very quickly, even being left for short periods of time with Fiona’s mother, who sat still in her chair. But if Fiona ran it would be no life for the children, and anyway Sicarus would surely find them. He had promised to destroy her and everything around her, and she believed now that he would be successful.
Six days before the court case, Fiona wanted to die. She didn’t feel able to go through the whole process again of being accused of being an unfit mother, and the risk of losing her children. She had only just felt secure that they would remain with her after the last court hearing, and the thought of losing them now was just as incomprehensible as it had been then; to have something given with one hand and then taken away by the other. But she couldn’t kill herself now; she had to stand up and be accused and hope somehow that she would get to keep her beautiful angels forever. But if she lost them, her life would be not worth living.
Five days before the court case, the widow Phyllis turned up to gather evidence for Sicarus. She took one look at Fiona’s mother sitting in her chair and told Fiona she and Sicarus would ensure that the court was aware that Fiona was using unsuitable babysitters. Fiona looked at her mother sitting on her wooden chair with her head in her hands. An old woman in sorrow on the threshold of eternity. Her heart ached. She wished she could help her mother, but she couldn’t. All her energy had been drained by Sicarus and the court case. “Tell the court what you want,” Fiona whispered, unable to take her eyes off her mother. That night her mother joined her husband and passed away in her sleep.
Four days before the court case, Fiona didn’t want to get out of bed. Her mother had gone. Her father had gone. Her children might soon be gone. But she had to get up. She had to plan a funeral and lay her mother’s body to rest. She had to get the children up and look after them before school started. If they missed school Sicarus might accuse her of being an unfit mother. Then she had to carry out her occupation of looking after the village animals. If she failed to do this, Sicarus might accuse her of being an unfit mother and neglecting the animals. Every waking moment of her day she was thinking about Sicarus and how he was still hurting and controlling her.
Three days before the court case, the widow Phyllis turned up offering a settlement. If Fiona would accept that she was an unfit mother, they would allow her to see her children again when it suited them. Phyllis was hoping Sicarus would propose, and if he did, she did not wish to be saddled with Fiona’s children and had her heart set on a child-free honeymoon by the ocean. The widow Phyllis’ own mother was getting old, and whilst she would look after her grandchildren, Phyllis did not wish to burden her with Fiona’s children, particularly as they wouldn’t be very well behaved, having had such an appalling upbringing with Fiona as their mother. Oh yes, Sicarus had told her everything; they had no secrets. She knew all about Fiona harming her children and herself and trying to blame it all on poor Sicarus. Fiona politely declined the offer and asked the widow to leave. She missed her mother.
Two days before the court case, Fiona decided the children needed some fun. They had just lost their grandmother and might soon lose their mother. She would give them a lovely last couple of days to remember, and this time it would not involve going to the forest with any horrible boys from the village. It would just be Fiona and the children. A family unit; a happy family with no birds to control and hurt them. The day she spent in the forest with her children was one of the best days of Fiona’s life. They ran and jumped, played games and laughed so much together that it gave Gabrielle hiccups, Jegudiel became dizzy with dancing and baby Duriel, who had only just learned to stand up, took his first steps. Everyone cheered. They had a delicious picnic, and everyone fell asleep with the sun shining on their faces.
Chapter Fourteen
The day before the court case, Fiona had another unexpected offer. One of her parents’ friends, Timulus, turned up at her hut to tell her how sorry he was about her mother’s death. His wife had died a couple of years ago and he knew how she felt. He then told Fiona that he knew of her court case and might be able to help her, because he sometimes sat as a judge in the temporary hut in their village and he knew how these cases went. It would help her case if she were married, and although he was nearly thirty years older than her he would agree to marry her as a favour to her parents. “Of course,” he continued, his beady black eyes shining, “I would need a favour or two from you in return.” And he tried to push her to her knees.
Fiona stood up and stood firm. “No thank you,” she replied politely. “I don’t need a man or a husband.” And then she said under her breath, “And I am never going to associate with a bird again. Goodbye.”
The day of the second court case arrived. Fiona again travelled with the village elders, Peter, Michael and some of the other villagers. Thomas, the boy from the village didn’t come this time, and neither did Timulus, her parents’ friend. Fiona again saw the unadorned temporary hut rising proudly in the centre of the neighbouring village, with Sicarus standing outside in his smart clothes, smirking. She couldn’t see the widow Phyllis and assumed she had already gone inside. Fiona felt sick. Judgement Day had come again. She walked into the temporary hut behind Sicarus, her eyes fixed on the back of his head. She knew every hair well as he had insisted for many years that she only spoke to him from behind, proclaiming that she was too undeserving to look at his face. How she hated that sight, and indeed the rest of his body. A body that she had once found attractive, but now repulsed her. How he had made her fear his every move and made her get down on her knees every evening just to try and appease his vile temper.
As she walked in, Fiona saw the three strangers there to decide the upbringing of Gabrielle, Jegudiel and Duriel. They were a different set of strangers this time. Somehow, she had expected the same ones, and it made her panic. The previous ones had believed her. These three were sure to believe Sicarus and the widow. They knew nothing about her. They knew nothing about her children. Fiona could hardly breathe.
Sicarus once again began with numerous lies about Fiona and her fitness to parent. She had harmed the children and herself. She had heard that before, many times. Then he alleged she had killed her parents because she was mad and had killed her animals, tortured them and caused them to go insane, which resulted in the widow Phyllis’ husband being killed. Fiona looked around the court in shame, desperately hoping no one would believe him. If they did, not only would she lose her children, but she would be unable to return to her village. She looked for Phyllis who had helped Sicarus come up with these lies, but she wasn’t there.
Then it was Fiona’s turn to speak to the strangers. This time she not only told them about how Sicarus had harmed her and the children, but also, as unbelievable as it sounded, about him turning into a bird. She wanted to tell the truth, but she knew how insane it would sound to someone who had no experience of birds. After she had finished speaking, she saw their puzzled faces. Her heart sunk. She shouldn’t have told them after all. They wouldn’t believe her and would think she was the one who had gone insane and harmed herself and everyone around her. She sat down with her head in her hands, sitting very still, the way her mo
ther had done before her death. She would be sure to join her mother and father later, perhaps tonight after the children had been taken away from her.
She didn’t hear another person quietly enter the room until that person had started to timidly speak to the court. Fiona looked round and saw the widow, Phyllis, her face scratched with three bright red tracks of blood. Talon marks. Her arms were bruised purple and black, having been savagely pecked.
“It’s true,” Phyllis began. “Sicarus is a bird who is capable of the most horrific violence. He has made me suffer badly. I am so sorry, Fiona, that I didn’t believe you and sided with him. Please forgive me.”
Fiona nodded with tears in her eyes.
“Sicarus cares nothing for his children,” the widow Phyllis, continued. “He only wanted them to hurt you. He is completely obsessed with you and is fixated on destroying you.”
Sicarus started shouting at the widow and the three strangers, even before they had given their judgement. He began pacing angrily, and by the time the three strangers were able to give their verdict that once again the children should remain in the village with Fiona, Sicarus had spikes protruding from the skin of his back.
The court then added another provision of its own motion. Sicarus would never be allowed to apply to the court again in respect of any orders regarding Gabrielle, Jegudiel or Duriel, and he would not be allowed to live in the village where Fiona and the children lived.