His warning didn’t intimidate me. I was eighteen years old, an adult, and could take care of myself. I screamed at the top of my lungs, crying out in a high-pitched voice I’d never experienced before.
“I hate your guts!”
“Fine by me,” he replied. “Now, you and your mother will have something in common.”
Hearing him say that shocked me. I’d never known my parents troubles had escalated to such an extreme level. Sure, they’d fought and bickered but so did everyone else’s parents. Had I caused friction between them? Had me getting in trouble strained their marriage?
“I’m leaving,” I said.
My father’s eye twitched.
“You’d better think long and hard about your decision. You remember what I said.”
“I don’t care,” I shouted. “I’ll never come back. That’s a promise.”
I’d expected him to smack me again, but he didn’t. If I didn’t know any better, I’d believe I’d hurt his feelings.
“You stay in your bedroom until you’re ready to apologize.”
He slammed my bedroom door shut and stomped off ranting and raving.
I went through my stuff and loaded up a backpack, gathering up all of my essentials. I paused thinking about my decision for a moment, and finally climbed outside through the window. I needed to leave before I caused my parents to split up. Besides, him hitting me was the last straw. I wasn't a child and wasn't going to be treated like one anymore. I ran away from the house as fast as I could, never looking back.
I went out into the world uncertain what was to become of me, but was drunk with the taste of freedom. I went to a friend's house who let me stay over for a couple of nights. Then I went to another friends and then another. I started to notice a pattern. After a few days, I didn't seem to be welcome any longer. For a while, friends passed me on to other friends. I made the rounds through the whole social network of our town. Before too long, I’d exhausted all of my friendships due to them thinking I was mooching off of them. They’d all given me the boot, talking behind my back, avoiding me. My life had become harder because I didn't have anywhere to go and nobody to take care of me. I just wanted to be loved. I realized none of them had ever cared for me. I’d painted myself into a corner, and there was no turning back. I was too stubborn to get down on my knees and apologize to my parents. I was lost, hoping to find my way, and I needed someone to save me.
After a while I started dating guys just for a place to stay. It made me feel cheap, but I didn’t have any other choice. When I was on the street alone, cold, and hungry, I’d thought about prostitution, but couldn't bring myself to do it. I’d cried myself to sleep most nights, feeling lost, feeling alone, feeling helpless. Sometimes I’d even thought about going back home, but my pride wouldn’t allow me to grovel down before them. Besides, they’d be better off without me. I had to leave, not only for them, but also for myself, proving I could find my own way. Although, my options were running out, and I needed someone, anyone.
Chapter 22
I walked up to William’s house and knocked on the door, hoping Chloe could hear me.
A familiar clacking sound across the hard-wood floor had me fuming. I recognized the sound of heels. What woman was in my house?
I peeked between an opening in the blinds and saw a petite teenage girl with long blonde hair.
The front door lock clicked, the door opening slowly.
Me livid, my eyes shot daggers at her. My first instinct was to snatch her baldheaded, but I stopped myself. I couldn’t just react impulsively, smacking just anyone who crossed my path, even though I’d been know to do it more times than not.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was really Hannah, an eighteen-year-old blonde girl with braces, and fake blue eye contact lenses, her wearing those plastic bracelets all the young girls had been wearing and pink clips in her hair. Her fingers twiddled through her silky locks as she smiled with an empty doe eyed look. She wasn't the Hannah I’d remembered. Sure, she still wore pigtails and a little revealing dress, but her new style was slightly more glamorous in a trampy sort of way. She looked like a schoolgirl on a naughty magazine. William had definitely taken her shopping, because she never could have afforded it on her own.
I noticed Hannah didn't carry herself as she had before. She smirked at me like she owned the place. Her newfound confidence disturbed me. The clothing she wore was more revealing than ever, and she was owning it. Her boobs were smashed in a push-up bra. Her skin looked so soft, yet her body looked so firm, although, she wasn't even a fully developed woman yet, just an immature girl and an easy girl at that. How could I compete with someone so young, beautiful, and loose?
I rolled my eyes when I saw Hannah finishing a drink box, holding it over her head, squeezing the last drop into her mouth, smiling with her pink stained teeth. Drink box, really? William should have been ashamed of himself. At his age, she could have been his daughter. Although, I was just making assumptions. Hannah was just babysitting, right?
What occurred next made my skin crawl.
“Hannah, honey,” William said from the other room. “Come back in here and sit on Daddy's lap. Daddy's got something for you.”
Energy dropped from my body at the disturbing discovery of William stooping to a lower level than I’d ever imagined. I literally almost dry-heaved as the butterflies stirred inside my gut.
“Are you coming or not, Hannah, darling?” William asked. “You don’t want me to come without you.”
I couldn't believe what I’d just heard William mutter in the background. My first impulse was to yank Hannah’s hair out and punch her in the face, but when I heard Chloe singing songs in the other room, my heart melted. I had to see her. I knew if I didn’t see her before William came out, I might not get a chance to see her at all.
“I want to see my baby,” I said, “now!”
I startled Hannah when I raised my hand. She pointed me toward the living room.
Chloe stood by the doorway, still in her jammies, with a big goofy smile on her face, her eyes lighting up.
“I missed you, Mommy.” Chloe ran up and jumped into my arms. “I'm so glad you're back home, Mommy. Please don't ever leave me again. Okay, Mommy?”
I got misty-eyed, so I hurried and wiped away my tears before Chloe turned back toward me. I took in her warmth, kissing her all over her face. Hugging her so tight, I thought she might complain, but she didn’t. She hugged me even tighter. We were finally back together. I thought about running out the door with her, but I didn’t. I knew I needed to get her back the right way, even if it took longer.
From the other room, heavy footsteps approached.
“You've been a bad girl, Hannah,” William said. “If you don't get back in here, I'm going to spank you, you naughty girl.”
William walked into the kitchen wearing only boxer shorts, his pathetic erection pointing the crotch upward. When he noticed me, his face turned red, a subtle mix of embarrassment and anger. He covered up his crotch with his hand.
“Look, Mommy,” Chloe said. “Silly Daddy's walking around in his underpants again.”
“Really?” I said.
“Sometimes Hannah walks around in her underpants with Daddy,” Chloe said. “They’re so silly, Mommy.”
“I thought I told you to stay in your room,” he shouted. “Hannah, please take Chloe in the other room.”
Hannah took Chloe by the hand, walking her out of the room.
My head was about to explode. Words couldn't express the range of emotions stirring through my body. I could feel my heartbeat throbbing near my temple. I didn't know if I was more upset that William was sleeping with Hannah, or the fact that he was flaunting their intimate relationship in front of my innocent baby Chloe.
“You should be ashamed of yourself,” I said.
“It's not what it looks like,” William replied.
“What does it look like?” I asked. “What the fuck is going on, William? Hannah is just a gi
rl.”
“She's eighteen-years-old.”
“Did you just fucking say that? Really?”
William looked down.
“It all makes sense,” I said. “Now I understand why you were so eager to drive Hannah home after babysitting.”
“I don't want to discuss this any further,” he replied. “That’s enough.”
I walked toward the kitchen where I thought Hannah and Chloe had gone.
“Where do you think you're going?” he asked.
“I'm getting Chloe and taking her with me,” I replied. “She doesn't belong here exposed to your sexually perverted charades. She deserves better than this.”
“And how are you going to take care of her?” he replied. “You're totally useless. If it wasn't for me, you would’ve become a gutter trash whore.”
“What?” I asked.
“I guess there’s still time.”
I balled up my fist and punched him in the eye. My knuckles making contact with his face rattled him beyond belief.
William fell to the ground, hyperventilating, holding his face, exaggerating as far as I was concerned, whimpering all pathetic.
“See,” he said. “You're not a fit mother. You're a thug. You're a bad person. Civilized people don't attack others.”
His words stabbed my emotions, raising my anger level, making my blood boil, causing me to react. I raised my fist again.
He winced and coward down on the ground helpless.
“If you don’t leave now,” he said, “I’ll call the authorities. I’ll press charges and have you arrested.”
I knew William wasn’t joking. I could tell by his tone.
“Okay,” I replied, “I’ll leave. Just please let me say goodbye to Chloe.”
William looked reluctant, but gave in. I couldn’t believe he was going to allow me to say goodbye after I’d just slugged him. I wasn’t going to question it. I just kept my mouth shut, ready to hug Chloe.
“You have five minutes,” he said. “Not a minute more.”
Chapter 23
I peeked in the kitchen, seeing Hannah texting on her phone, her not watching Chloe at all, Chloe running around the kitchen table swinging around a sharp carrot peeler. I carefully snuck up behind Chloe, gently taking the carrot peeler out of her hand.
“No, Mommy,” Chloe said. “I was playing with that.”
Chloe scrunched up her nose at me.
“It's too dangerous,” I replied.
"At least let me finish peeling these bananas," Chloe said, giggling,
A stack of bananas were piled on the ground, bits of peel scattered in thousands of little pieces everywhere.
“Hannah lets me play with anything I want to,” Chloe said.
Under close inspection, I noticed scratches, cuts, and bruises all over Chloe's arms and legs. I pulled back Chloe's bangs and discovered a big bruise on her forehead.
“What happened to you, Chloe?” I asked. “How did you get that bump on your head?”
Chloe blushed.
“I fell down the stairs, Mommy,” Chloe replied.
I picked up Chloe and held her tight, kissing her forehead, feeling responsible because I wasn’t there to prevent it from happening.
“Thanks, Mommy,” Chloe said. “My boo boo feels all better now.”
I grimaced, covering my face, feeling helpless.
“Are you okay, Mommy?” Chloe asked. “Why are you crying?”
“I'm fine, baby.”
I turned and looked at Hannah, who was still texting, oblivious to everything.
“Baby, please go to your room and play,” I said. “Mommy needs to talk to Hannah in private.”
“Okay, Mommy.”
“Mommy will be in there in a minute. We'll play dollies.”
Chloe scampered out of the room.
Once I was sure Chloe was far enough away, I approached Hannah for some answers.
“When did she fall down the stairs?” I asked.
“Who?” Hannah replied.
“Chloe.”
“Which day?” Hannah said. “Chloe's always falling down those stairs. She should really be more careful.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“Don't you ever watch her? Isn't that why you're here?”
“Well, sometimes,” Hannah said. “I've got a life of my own. I can't watch her every second.”
It took every ounce of control I had not to smack her silly.
Hannah turned away and proceeded to text on her phone again.
“Hello?” I shouted.
Hannah didn't respond.
I knocked Hannah's phone out of her hand, it hitting the ground, the screen cracking, and the display turning blank.
“Why the fuck did you do that?” Hannah asked.
“Because you weren't listening to me,” I replied.
“You know you can't just go around hitting people,” Hannah said. “William warned me about you. He was right. You are gutter trash.”
My blood was boiling. Before I could stop myself, my fist bashed Hannah in the face, causing an instant black eye.
Hannah cried out shrieking a high pitch scream.
Footsteps approached, stomping.
“What the hell is going on?” William asked.
Hannah held her eye tight as she whimpered, crying, pointing at me.
"Molly hit me."
“Have you lost your mind?” he shouted.
I didn’t feel sorry for what I’d done. She deserved it.
“Now your little girl has a bruise,” I replied. “How does it make you feel?”
“If you don't vacate my premises this instant,” he said, “I will be forced to call the authorities and have you taken away. I’ve been more than fair with you. This is your last warning.”
“Are you serious?” I replied.
“You are no longer welcome in our home,” he said. “If you ever come back, we'll be forced to press charges. It won't be good for you. Remember, you do have a criminal record.”
William’s smug look made me ill.
I realized it was time to leave. He was right. I did have priors. If he called the police, they would take me away, and then I’d never be able to get Chloe back. I regretted losing my temper but didn't regret socking Hannah. If I had the chance, I'd have done it all over again and again and again. Nobody should ever mess with a mother’s baby.
Before I left, I made one last-ditch effort to get Chloe back.
“Why won't you give me Chloe?” I asked. “She's not even yours.”
“Go take a look at her birth certificate,” he replied. “You didn’t have any objections when I signed it. I'm the father, so she's mine.”
"You motherfucker!" I said. “I should have never done it.”
“But you did,” he replied.
An unpleasant feeling in the pit of my stomach filled me with regret at my past mistake.
“If you were responsible,” he said, “I might give Chloe back to you.”
William was a controlling person who couldn't let go, always dangling things over me. He didn't want me anymore, but he wanted strings attached, so he could impact my life and torture me for his own selfish pleasure.
On my way out to leave, he asked, “Why are you trying to drive me crazy? You need to find another place to stay. I’m not comfortable with you staying with my ex.”
“I don’t have any money,” I said. “How could I get a place of my own without any money? Are you going to give me money for a place to stay?"
"Well, no."
"Then shut your fuckin' mouth," I said. “I’m going back to Sophia’s. I’ll let her know you said hi.”
"How the hell did you start talking to Sophia in the first place?" he asked. "She fucking rubbed it in my face that you're staying with her now. She’s torturing me."
I kept a poker face, but smiled on the inside, realizing Sophia’s tactics were really working on him.
"Where else do you expect me to go?" I as
ked. "I don't have any money."
"I don’t know, and I don’t care," William said. “You're going to stop living with Sophia this instant.”
His voice was stern when the words escaped, and his eyes were serious.
"What do you want me to do, live on the street?"
William fought back a smile.
"Why not," he replied. “That’s where you belong with all the other vagrants.”
"I'll stay right where I am then," I said. "I'm getting my life back together, and I'm going to get Chloe back."
"It's possible, but not probable," he replied.
How could he be such a jerk? It couldn’t get any worse.
“Today is the last time you will see Chloe,” William said.
I sobbed.
“At least let me say goodbye," I said.
"You already said goodbye," he replied, “and you struck Hannah. I can’t risk having you here any longer. It's time for you to go.”
I walked outside, dragging my feet.
From the back room, Chloe cried, “Mommy! You said you’d play dollies with me.”
William slammed the door in my face, breaking my heart.
Chapter 24
I walked back to Sophia’s house. Once inside, I’d lost it, raiding the kitchen cupboards, looking for anything scrumptious, anything to bring me comfort, anything to mask my pain. Being in a sweet and salty mood, I filled my arms with various goodies. Then I went into the living room, becoming a mess filled with tears, sitting on the couch, snacking on potato chips and chocolate, wallowing in my self-pity.
Sophia cleared her throat, her standing in the doorway.
"So I heard you saw pecker head today." she said.
"Yeah," I replied. “It was awful.”
"Jerk-alert! Jerk-alert!" she said, laughing. “I heard you socked him in his melon. I would’ve paid to see that.”
I couldn't help but crack a smile. It was comforting staying with someone who disliked William almost as much as I did. As a matter of fact, I believe Sophia disliked him more than anyone. I could see the passion in her eyes when she mentioned me striking him. I believe her love for him had gone away.
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