Five First Dates

by Erin McCarthy

  “All of those?” That seemed daunting and absolutely fucking ridiculous.

  “That’s just a jumping-off point. It doesn’t have to be those specifically.” Jana waved her hand. “We’ll work out the details. But every day when you’re with her you need to think WWRR.”

  I eyed her. “What the hell does that stand for?”

  “What Would Ryan Reynolds Do.”

  That made me roll my eyes. “You forgot the D. You said WWRR. What Would Ryan Reynolds.”

  She thought a second. “Shit. You’re right.” She grinned. “Trust me to forget the D.”

  I laughed. “It doesn’t matter. I never would have figured that out anyway.”

  “It’s a great benchmark. Stop and consider what Ryan Reynolds or really any Ryan would do. Gosling works too.”

  Yeah, fuck that. “With all due respect to the Ryans, I’m not going to live my life copying some other dude’s moves. I’ve got my own moves.”

  Jana looked dubious. “Don’t be cocky. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel, son.”

  I laughed. “So you’re an expert? I’m sorry if I misunderstood that,” I said dryly.

  “Totally an expert. I date women, don’t I? Oh, and you must discuss her dates with her.”

  “I don’t want to do that.” Nope. Not at all.

  Jana smacked my leg. “You have to be her confidant! It’s a requirement.”

  I laughed. “You’re taking this very seriously.”

  “I love a project. Besides, I don’t like being alone and I don’t know anyone here, so I’ve decided you’re going to be my best friend.”

  “To what do I owe that honor?”

  “I can tell you have sisters. Right?”

  I nodded. “Three.”

  “And they’re all younger, right?”

  I eyed her. “Yes. You’re a little freaky sometimes, you know that?”

  “I’ve been called worse things.” She stood up. “Are you hungry? Let’s eat and plot your strategy. We need to put some things into motion.”

  I’m not one for having a total stranger tell me what to do, but Jana amused the hell out of me.

  Besides, she was right.

  I wanted Savannah.

  I’d do whatever it took to make her mine.

  Chapter Five

  “You look great,” Maddox said as I came out of my bedroom.

  He was standing eating a sandwich over the kitchen counter, Sully on his hip. After working all day, he’d gotten back to the apartment and changed into flannel pajama pants. He looked like a pro eating and juggling a baby.

  Having him around for the last two weeks had made my life a hundred times easier, including tonight when I had taken a stupid amount of time to get ready for my date with Yates Caldwell.

  I stood in the hallway and smoothed the front of my black dress. “Are you sure? I’m worried maybe this isn’t the right outfit. I feel like I’m giving off a little bit of a corporate vibe.”

  His eyebrows went up as he chewed. “Have you looked in the mirror? You look hot.” He set down his sandwich and gestured to my chest. “That is not what I imagine when I think office environment. But if that’s the case, sign me up. I’ll work for the man with that kind of view.”

  I glanced down at my cleavage. It did look a little different in this dress than it did pre-baby. My tits were spilling up and over. “Should I change?”

  “Why?”

  Because I was panicking. “I don’t know. Because I haven’t been on a date in over a year.”

  “You don’t need to change. You look amazing.” Maddox bounced Sully up and down. “Right, buddy? Mommy looks amazing.”

  Sully was looking at me like he knew I had a plan to go out and prioritize a man over him. His nose was wrinkling and his lip was starting to tremble. “Oh, God, he knows I’m going out. He looks like he’s about to start wailing.” I put my hand on my stomach, the pit already there growing. “I feel guilty.”

  “Don’t feel guilty. You’re entitled to a life,” Maddox said. “We’ll be fine. We’ll have guy time. Now leave before he loses it entirely. Seriously, run.”

  He was right. Sully was winding up to let out a serious cry, his arms stretching forward for me. “Oh, ugh!” I ran up to Sully and kissed him. “Bye, baby, I love you.”

  “Have fun,” Maddox said.

  Sully launched himself at me, like a skydiver jumping out of the plane. Full trust, arms spread like a flying squirrel. Fortunately, Maddox had a good grip on him and he didn’t fall, though Sully did manage to grab the strap of my dress.

  I wrested it out of his hand, but not before my tit well and truly popped out. It just sprang forth like it couldn’t wait to get out of the tight dress and be useful. I stumbled back, tucking it away, flustered as hell. Mostly because my child was now screaming for me and I felt like a jerk mom. But also, because it seemed on the daily my relationship with Maddox became more and more… intimate. We lived together well, with zero conflicts. We had a routine, a rhythm, a friendship that was easy and surprising.

  Yet, he didn’t seem to want anything beyond that. Once or twice, I’d thought he was holding back, but at moments like this, he seemed completely neutral about me. He didn’t react to my nip slip at all. He said things like “You look amazing,” with sincerity but no more sexual interest than say, Isla.

  Which was great. That was the way things were supposed to be. It was exactly what I had asked him for—a friendship with no flirtation. He was a platonic friend and my nanny and I was going out with Yates Caldwell, who ticked all of my boxes.

  It didn’t matter that on a regular basis I looked at Maddox and wanted him to take me against a wall and make me feel like a woman again.

  Not going to happen. It would be messy and complicated and he didn’t appear to want me anyway.

  “He’s going to think you’re amazing,” Maddox said. “Trust me.”

  His words shattered my thoughts about climbing onto his cock.

  I grabbed my purse and ran in heels to the door. “Bye, thanks, Mad!”

  * * *

  Yates Caldwell was as good-looking as his photo, that was true.

  But he was no Prince Charming. He was literally the opposite of Prince Charming. He was Sir Dickhead, overlord of the land of pompous pricks.

  And for me to say that? He was not nice. Very, very bad.

  I sat across from him at a bar in the Financial District after he had refused to come to Brooklyn because he was “really fucking committed with some things at work” and needed to stay close to his office. Even though, you know, I had a baby. In Brooklyn. But I was willing to be optimistic and chalk it up to tone is off in text messages sometimes.

  That was just the beginning. A teeny tiny red flag.

  Once there, I ordered some calamari and a soda, but he had waved off the food menu and was on his second dirty martini. He didn’t really attempt to make conversation. He just glanced around the restaurant and made rude observations about the other patrons, and labeled the service slow. After the waitress brought my calamari and retreated, he watched her walking.

  “God, she could use a nose job,” he said. “I feel compelled to tip her well so she can save up for plastic surgery.”

  I blinked, shocked speechless. “I… I don’t imagine she needs your opinion,” I finally managed. “Especially not an unkind one.”

  He looked at me like he was surprised. “I wasn’t going to say that to her, but come on, it’s not like she doesn’t know she’s ugly as shit.”

  I bit a piece of calamari, hard, wondering if I could get the check and get out, now, while I still had some faith in humanity. Yet at the same time I hesitated to call the waitress over in case she had heard anything Yates had said.

  But wait. That wasn’t all that sucked about him.

  Yates looked at his watch. For the third time.

  “Do you have somewhere to be?” I asked, feeling hopeful. Maybe he had an urgent meeting he needed to get to or a date with the de
vil to give him yet another piece of his mostly empty soul.

  He shook his head. “I’m just checking my heart rate to see if you turn me on.”

  It took me a full thirty seconds to process what he had just said. “What?” I asked, caught completely off guard. Was he serious?

  “Yeah. If I’m into you, my heart rate will increase.”

  Um…

  “So you don’t know if you’re turned on by someone? It’s a mystery to you?” That was just about the dumbest thing I’d ever heard. Who didn’t know if they had the tingle with someone? No one is bewildered by their reactions to people. We know what they mean. We know the difference between attraction and anger and apathy. My blood pressure and heart rate were through the roof, and I knew one hundred percent it was because he was an appalling human being. It’s not like I was mistaking that for wanting some sexy times. It wasn’t hard to interpret what I was feeling.

  “To be honest, I’m on the fence about you,” he said. “I don’t usually like gingers. I’m trying to gauge if that’s affecting my ability to picture myself inside you.”

  Inside you? Had he really just said that?

  “I’ll be right back,” I said, shoving my chair back and standing up. I grabbed my purse. I was tempted to just exit the bar and never return, but I wasn’t convinced he would pay for my food. I headed toward the restroom to gather myself together, seeking out my waitress on the way.

  I found the waitress near the bar in the back and I handed her my credit card. “Can you charge me for just the calamari?” I asked.

  She nodded. “Getting out?” she asked sympathetically. “I got the feeling it was a first date, and trust me, in this neighborhood I see a lot of the self-important type. That guy reeks of it.”

  “Normally, I’m all for sticking it out, but this was too much.” The worst being his comments about this very waitress, who was smiling and pleasant and had a perfectly lovely face. Ugh. Yates Caldwell needed to choke on his lemon slice.

  As the waitress went to run my card, I dipped into the ladies’ room and pulled out my phone. The girls and I had a group text. I wrote NEXT and hit send.

  My phone buzzed. I had a text from Yates.

  Dude, not feeling the redhead. She’s kind of a bitch.

  The blood drained out of my face. He had sent me a text criticizing me to me. To. Me. Was that intentional or had he actually meant to send it to a friend? Not that it mattered, honestly.

  And wait a minute. Me, a bitch? I’ve been called any number of things—naïve, gullible, a Pollyanna—but never a bitch. Apparently, even mildly calling him out for being a shallow prick about the waitress made me a bitch.

  I freshened my lipstick and smoothed my hair in the mirror before rolling my shoulders and pushing the door open. I got my credit card back from the waitress, and signed the slip leaning on the bar. Then I just went back to the table, purse in one hand, my phone in the other, feeling outraged on behalf of all women who had to put up with arrogant, rude men.

  “You texted me that you think I’m a bitch,” I said. “So this bitch is going back to Brooklyn. If you’re not sure how to feel about that, check your watch.”

  With that, I left. He didn’t say a word.

  It was his best move of the night.

  * * *

  The door opened and I looked up, surprised. Savannah had only been gone ninety minutes. An hour of that had to have been travel time.

  “Hey,” I said, on the floor on my stomach playing with Sully. I was building blocks for him and he was alternating knocking them down and chewing on them. “That was quick.”

  Savannah blew her hair out of her eyes, closed the door, and flung her purse on the end table. “That was a total waste of time. Yates was gross. A total jerk who told me he was going to tip the waitress really well since she badly needed a nose job.”

  “What?” I rolled over and sat up. “Who the hell says something like that? Out loud?”

  “He also sent me this text when I went to the restroom.” Savannah handed me her phone.

  I read the text. “Is he talking about you?” I asked, outraged. “What the actual fuck?” Then I realized what I had said and covered Sully’s ears. “You didn’t hear that.”

  She was so outraged by her date, she didn’t even reprimand me for swearing in front of the baby. “Yes, I’m sure he is talking about me. I guess it was an accident, but that was enough for me. I left. Maybe it wasn’t an accident. I don’t know.”

  “You are the last person in the world I would call that,” I said, remembering to avoid swearing. “I’m glad you left, though I’m tempted to go punch him in the face.”

  “What a waste of a tight dress,” Savannah said, holding on to the arm of the couch and ripping her heels off. She tossed them in the direction of the rug by the door.

  It would have been a total waste of an outfit, except I definitely appreciated it. Her legs were a mile long, showing lots of creamy fair skin, and she had on full makeup. “It is a cute outfit,” I told her. Even now, my eyes were going straight to her chest. I couldn’t help it. There was too much skin not to look.

  Savannah gave a little laugh. “Cute?”

  “I’m trying to be supportive but not hit on you,” I said. “And G-rated for the kid’s ears.”

  She gave me a funny look but didn’t comment. “I’m starving. I had one stupid piece of calamari.”

  “Let me fix you something to eat,” I said, peeling myself off the floor with an eye on Sully to make sure he hadn’t somehow miraculously in the last thirty seconds shoved something in his mouth he shouldn’t. Babies are quick.

  Savannah eyed me. “That’s a sweet thought, but you don’t cook.”

  I’d been living with her for almost two weeks, and she was right. She’d yet to see me cook. I had a protein shake in the morning, ate on set at the shop during the day, then I’d be back to her apartment to find she’d already made dinner for the two of us. “How do you know I don’t cook?” I asked. “I have hidden talents you know nothing about.”

  She shrugged out of her long coat and hung it on the hooks by the door. “Oh, really? You’re a master chef? Okay, then I’m sorry.”

  I strolled past her toward the kitchen and gave her a slow smile. “No need to apologize. I do have many hidden talents.”

  She heard the tone in my voice. For a second I thought she was going to reprimand me for hinting at something dirty but she didn’t. So I said, “But truthfully, cooking isn’t one of those talents, hidden or otherwise.”

  Her jaw dropped and she smacked my arm. “Maddox! You con. What on earth were you planning to make for me, then?”

  “You have a cauliflower pizza in the freezer. I can turn on the oven, take it out of the box, put it on a tray, and put it in the oven. I can even take it out of the oven and use the pizza slicer to cut it in absolute perfect slices for you.”

  She shook her head and laughed. “What skill you have. It sounds perfect.” She flopped on the couch. “Rage doesn’t come easily to me. I’m exhausted from being angry with Yates.”

  “Whose date pick was this?” I asked, as I went into the kitchen. “I can’t remember what you said.”

  I’d been following Jana’s advice and being the friend who just listened as Savannah texted and DM’d with all these guys her friends were setting her up with. This tool was the first. I was pissed she’d been insulted by him, but I was selfishly glad it had gone down the way it had. It would suck if she’d come home dreamy and excited.

  “This was Leah’s pick. It was her boyfriend’s cousin. I don’t understand. Grant is a nice guy, but his cousin was a nightmare.”

  “Isn’t he rich?” I asked as I pulled the box out of the freezer. “He could be that guy who just says whatever the hell he wants and gets away with it because he has money.”

  “Clearly. I mean, he didn’t even seem to think it was a big deal. He acted like I was insane when I basically said it wasn’t nice to insult the waitress’s looks.”
/>   I turned on the oven and returned to the living room. I scooped up Sully and sat down next to her. I plopped the little guy between us. “At least he showed his ass up front. You didn’t really waste much time.”

  “That’s true.” She sighed. “Dating is hard.” Then she laughed. “The really stupid part? He kept checking his Apple watch to see what his heartrate was. When I asked him why, he said he was trying to see if he was attracted to me or not. That if he was, he would have an elevated heart rate.”

  I stared at her, uncomprehending. “What? That makes no sense. Wouldn’t he just know if he’s attracted to you or not?” The way I did. The way I looked at her and felt my cock harden. The way I wanted to peel her out of that tight dress and kiss down her body until I was burying my tongue inside her, tasting her as she moaned for me.

  That’s what I knew.

  “Apparently, I’m a woman who has a man on the fence.”

  That seriously irritated me. “No, you’re not. That guy is just a tool. That’s a power move. He was trying to rattle you, get you to work harder to impress him.” Which really made me want to punch him. “I’m glad you got out of there.”

  Savannah looked startled. “Really? Do you think so?”

  “Yes. No one doesn’t know if they’re hot for someone or not. Come on. That’s effing stupid. He was just messing with you, playing hard to get to switch the balance of power. If I had to guess, his goal was sex on the first date.”

  “Ew. That’s gross and manipulative.”

  “Very.” My gut told me I was right. There wasn’t much other explanation for it. The oven beeped and I stood up to put the pizza in. “It’s a fifty-fifty shot that text wasn’t an accident either. He sounds like a guy who wants to be in charge of everything, all the time.”

  “That makes me feel like I need a shower.”

  I put the pizza in to bake and returned to the couch. “Who’s on deck for your next date?”

  “Dakota’s choice. He’s a club DJ.”