“Sort of. Maybe. I don’t know.” Which was the truth. “All I know is right now I’m enjoying being with him and if I can help him, I could never tell him no.”
“All right, then. Just be careful. I still can’t believe you rejected Michael. He seemed so brilliant when I was chatting with him.”
“He was very nice. That wasn’t the issue. Maybe a different time or a different place, it would have been different.” I eyed her. “I think you have a crush on him and I think you should go on that app as yourself, not me, and message him.”
That effectively turned the subject from me and Maddox. She instantly started shaking her head. “I can’t. No. Absolutely not. That’s not me. You know I can dole out advice for days when it comes to everyone else, but I am an utter failure at dating.”
“You seemed to do just fine talking to Michael as me.”
“That was on my phone, messaging. Totally different.”
I rolled my eyes and gave her a smile. “Don’t shortchange yourself. Okay, I’m off. I’ll be back in a bit, thank you!”
The shop was basically what I had pictured. Cool, artistic, filled with tattooed and pierced people. Jana was behind the front desk and saw me and came running straight up to me. She hugged me before I could even react to the unexpected greeting, as well as the fact that there was a camera crew taking up one whole corner of the shop.
“Hi Savannah,” she said, pulling back. “I’m so glad to see you here.”
“Oh! Hi. Nice to see you again.” The greeting seemed more effusive than necessary given we’d met once for two minutes, but I knew she and Maddox had become good friends. The way he talked about her it was clear she had a big personality, so maybe the hug wasn’t unusual. Jana was beautiful. She had high cheekbones, flawless skin, and a mischievous grin that was on full display.
“I have heard everything about you. You’re all Maddox talks about.”
Really? That was interesting. Or maybe that was part of the non-reality part of the reality show. “We both know Maddox is more the strong but silent type,” I said. “I don’t see him gushing about me at work.”
Jana laughed. “Fair enough. I always tell him he’s pragmatic and he hates it. Come on over and meet everyone.”
She took me by the hand, which amused me, and basically dragged me around, introducing me to the camera crew. Maddox appeared from a back room and I was suddenly overwhelmed by how incredibly sexy he was. He belonged here, that was obvious. He walked with confidence and it was hard sometimes to remember how young he actually was. He saw me and gave me a smile that made my insides warm.
“Hey,” he said. “Thanks for coming by.”
Then he kissed me, which I guess I should have seen coming, but hadn’t. It was no quick peck. It wasn’t “get a room” either, but it was beyond a friendly greeting. My face felt hot when he pulled back.
“Of course,” I said. “I’m excited to see where you’re working. This is a great shop.”
Jana was next to us, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Do you have any tattoos, Savannah?”
“Me? No.”
“Are you afraid of needles?”
I shook my head. “Not really. I just never felt connected enough to anything to ink it on my body permanently.”
Jana nodded. “Not a bad philosophy. I have a milk carton inked on my leg. I’m random and impulsive.”
“She is,” Maddox said. “She falls in and out of love with people, hobbies, and food with amazing speed.”
They seemed to know each other really well and I felt just a teeny tiny bit jealous of that. “As long as you don’t get hurt, that’s probably a great way to live. No regrets.”
“Oh, I never regret anything.” She gave me a look that seemed searching. “No one wants regrets, right?”
I felt like she was trying to tell me something, but what, I had no idea.
Maddox took my hand and introduced me to Samuel, who was adorable and quite the flirt, then to Stella, who was polite, but slightly bitchy. Travis seemed genuinely curious about me.
“Maddox is a steel trap. He never talks about his personal life. It’s cool to meet you.”
That seemed more accurate than Jana’s claim he talked nonstop about me. Probably true, but slightly disappointing. But why would he talk about me? We weren’t really a couple.
Even though his hand in mine felt really, really natural.
Felicia might have been right. This was a stupid, muddy-the-waters thing to do.
“This is a great shop,” I told Travis. “What an amazing accomplishment at your age.”
He grinned. “Thanks. You can’t be afraid to just go for it. What’s the worst thing that can happen, right?”
That casual comment gave me goosebumps.
So many thoughts were swirling through my head and I didn’t want to acknowledge any of them.
“I want a tattoo,” I blurted out.
“What?” Maddox looked at me like I had legitimately shocked him. “Of what?”
I turned to him, conviction growing. “I don’t know. Something about the baby. Maybe a heart or his initials? His birthdate?”
Maddox’s expression softened. “I think that’s an awesome idea.” He brushed my hair back off my cheek. “But you should think about it for a few weeks. We can bounce some ideas around.”
I nodded. He was right. Sullivan was my family, and had changed my life forever for the better, and I wanted to display that but I didn’t want to just pick something randomly to represent what he meant to me.
“Boo,” Jana said. “You’re a buzzkill, Mad. Savannah, I say go for it right now.”
“I think I got swept in the atmosphere,” I said. And maybe the cameras. I was used to filming myself, but not having a crew. It was definitely a different vibe.
I pictured my brother’s reaction to Maddox kissing me and decided I didn’t care.
Maddox was exactly what I needed in my life.
I was introduced to the producer and put in a chair next to Maddox.
“How long have you been seeing each other?” I was asked by Mark, from his position behind the cameraman.
The formality of it was disconcerting but Maddox and I had rehearsed. “Just six weeks. But we’ve known each other for fifteen years.”
Maddox squeezed my knee. I looked over at him. He gave me a smile that was more dirty than loving.
“Did you have feelings for him before?”
I turned back to the camera and the producer. “Uh, sure, friendship. But not romantic.”
“I had romantic feelings for her,” he said. “She just thought I was annoying.”
“That’s not true! I never thought you were annoying. I just never… thought about it.” I inwardly winced. That sounded horrible.
“Is Maddox romantic?”
That question caught me off guard. “What? What do you mean?” I asked, stalling.
“Does he bring you flowers or write you notes? Take you to rooftop dinners?”
Who went to rooftop dinners? I didn’t even think that was a thing. “Not those things in particular, no.”
“So he’s not romantic?”
“I didn’t say that.” What the hell? I was being setup and now I was flustered. “I have a baby. We can’t go out on glamorous dates right now.” That was one hundred percent the truth.
“What made you fall for him now then?”
Oh God. So many things. His smile. His laugh. His kindness. His hard muscles. The way he stared into my eyes when he pushed inside my body.
I cleared my throat. My cheeks felt hot.
“His ink, of course. Who doesn’t love a hot guy with some great tats?”
Everyone laughed.
“Nice maneuver,” Mark said. “I love it.”
I didn’t even want to think about what I loved because I was starting to have a sneaking suspicion it was Maddox.
Chapter Twelve
Maddox opened the door for me at the venue hosting Leah and Grant’s eng
agement party the following Friday night. I barely had time to react to the decor of the room in front of me when Dakota spotted me and came in for a hug.
“Oh my God, you look so hot!” she exclaimed. “Hot mama!”
I laughed. “Thanks.” I did actually feel decidedly not mom-ish. I was wearing a deep navy sparkly cocktail dress that was so short I was at risk for flashing if I sat down carelessly. My heels were the highest I’d worn in eighteen months. I’d gotten a blowout and I had hair that was big and bold, sort of a nod to the eighties. It felt fantastic to feel put together and sexy.
Dakota always looked sexy. Always. She had legs that were a thousand miles long and a confident walk. She was wearing a black jumpsuit with a plunging neckline. At six feet tall she could be seen halfway across the lobby. Wherever she went, she turned heads, usually because she chose to wear high heels all the time. She always joked that she was constantly mistaken for a drag queen, but that wasn’t going to stop her from wearing heels because drag queens were amazing.
“You look gorgeous too,” I told her. “This is Maddox. Maddox, this is Dakota.”
“Nice to meet you.” He reached out and shook her hand.
It was kind of crazy they hadn’t met yet but the last six weeks had just flown by.
Dakota eyed him with naked curiosity. “So this is the manny? It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
I knew what she saw, because I saw it too. Maddox was sexy and dangerous and gorgeous looking all at once. He was wearing a suit, but it didn’t disguise all of his tattoos. The ones on his hands and fingers were still visible. The suit also didn’t hide the fact that he was ripped either. It only emphasized it. For a guy who had to be one of the sweetest, most solid men I’d ever met, his dark eyes smoldered.
“It’s nice to meet you too.” He gave me an amused look when Dakota didn’t let go of his hand.
“Let go of him,” I told her with a laugh.
“Oops. Sorry, not sorry.” But given she was Dakota, she just turned and swept her arm across the room. “This is just the lobby and look at this. You’re going to die when you see the actual ballroom. I went inside and ran back out because I needed to experience it with someone else. You can’t go in alone, trust me on this.”
We were at the Chelsea Pier and I had noticed decking that went around the whole perimeter, given a fantastic view of the Hudson river. The Jersey City skyline was twinkling on the opposite bank.
“Leah said the pier location was a nod to Grant having been in the navy,” I told Maddox. “I think that’s very cool, to make it personal.”
“If the pier is about the navy, then the ballroom is about being inside an acid trip,” Dakota said. “It’s insane.”
The doors were opened for us by men in tails and Dakota did not lie.
“Holy shit…” was Maddox’s opinion.
I was momentarily speechless. It was an explosion of color and ribbons and flowers and… humans dangling from aerial ribbons. It was the circus. It was the Big Top married with Vegas while cheating on Vegas with the Moulin Rouge. Or maybe Versailles. Aerial gymnasts floated above us like glamorous little silver specks, twirling and spinning, while the food stations were elevated train cars.
I grabbed Maddox’s arm and bounced up and down a little. “It’s the theater! It’s the theater meets the circus meets the navy! Look, there’s a pinup girl sailor!” I couldn’t help myself. I absolutely loved when couples personalized an engagement party and a wedding. Over the top? Extra AF? Bring it on. I loved it.
Besides, not everyone had the kind of budget they did. They had the cash and they’d clearly decided to just throw a wild ride of an engagement party.
“It’s something,” Maddox said. “I feel inappropriately dressed. Like I should be wearing a top hat and a velvet tuxedo.”
Felicia appeared beside us. “Do you get the feeling this is actually a wedding?” she asked.
“Oooh,” I said. “Maybe. It does seem like a lot for an engagement party. Now, that would be so romantic. A surprise wedding? I love it.”
“Wouldn’t Leah tell us?” Dakota asked. “A surprise wedding doesn’t seem like her thing. That’s more your thing, Savannah.”
Admittedly, it was.
Isla, who must have arrived with Felicia grabbed a glass of champagne off of a passing server tray and raised it in front of us. “I don’t think it’s a wedding. They’re doing this to both satisfy and annoy Grant’s family. If I had to bet money, I would say they get married solo on a beach or something. This is extravagant because there won’t be a wedding reception.”
“That might be true.” Though the idea disappointed me.
“Isla, you remember Maddox, my friend and nanny extraordinaire.” I smiled at him. God, he looked handsome in his suit. It was such a change from his usual black-on-black-with-metal outfit choices.
He was an amazing nanny. He was an amazing person. Sully loved him and Maddox’s style was easy, playful. Nothing rattled him. Not spit-up. Not full diapers. Not three-in-the-morning crying jags. Some day he was going to make an awesome father.
The knowledge was one that constantly knocked at my thoughts. Maddox probably didn’t want to get married and have kids for another decade. He still had the majority of his twenties ahead of him to have fun, establish a business, date around and get married. I was really going to miss him when he left. There would be a lucky woman in his future.
Which made me sick to my stomach every time I considered it.
* * *
Isla greeted Maddox, but she also gave me a long, searching look that made my cheeks feel hot. What did she see? Did she know that I was completely full of shit when I said my feelings for Mad were one hundred percent platonic and familial?
They already all knew we were having sex, but I’d thought only Felicia had caught on to how much deeper it was going than that. But given the look on Isla’s face, she was onto me as well.
“It’s great to see you again,” she told Maddox. “I think it’s great you’d give up your Friday night to protect Savannah from the evil clutches of a dick she went out with once weeks ago.”
I glared at Isla. “Don’t be so sarcastic. You sound rude.”
“I never turn down an invitation to an open bar,” Maddox said, mildly.
“Dude,” Dakota said. “Right? Speaking of, I say we head over there and do some shots to kick this party off on the right note.”
“Dakota, I can’t drink,” I reminded her for the hundredth time in the last year plus.
“Oh, fuck, I always forget that. Well, you can go find our table while we do shots.”
“You’re so good to me,” I said to her, rolling my eyes and laughing.
“What? I’m sorry. You know I’m not mom material. I’m not trying to be a jerk.”
“I know.” I pointed. “Go. Go do a shot. Do one for me. I will find the table.”
“I’ll go with you,” Maddox said.
“No!” Dakota said. “Open bar, remember?”
“I can get something later. My job is to visibly adore Savannah.”
Hell, yes.
“Oh, that sounds kinky,” Dakota said. “I’m jealous.” But then she turned. “See you later!”
“Sorry,” Felicia said. “I really want a drink.” She gave me a finger wave and followed suit.
“Are you abandoning me for booze too?” I asked Isla.
She nodded. “You don’t need me anyway. You have Maddox.”
Except I didn’t have him.
“It’s you and me, kid,” he said. “Are you hungry? It looks like there’s enough food to feed the entire eastern seaboard.”
“I’m going to smash on all of it,” I said cheerfully. “And not feel remotely guilty. A party like this is all about the food and the DJ.”
“Wait until you see my dance moves,” Maddox said.
He did a hip swivel that made me laugh. “What was that?”
“The Elvis. I can floss too but I’m saving that for the end of the n
ight.”
“Can’t wait.” I maneuvered around some tables and scanned the first food station. “I am a terrible dancer. Which was why my original career choice when I came to New York was to be an actress. I can’t dance and can’t sing, so that limited my options considerably.”
“I remember you wanted to make it big.”
“I was delusional,” I said laughing. “I used to tell my father I was an optimist, a dreamer, and he would tell me I needed to get my head out of the clouds. Turns out in that particular instance he was right. I couldn’t see that I wasn’t good enough to land roles until I had cranky directors tell me no over and over.”
“You clearly landed where you’re supposed to but don’t ever lose that dreamer quality, Savannah. It’s what makes you you and it’s beautiful.”
I was unexpectedly touched. “Thank you.”
Maddox lifted up a canape and popped it into his mouth. “Damn, that’s good.” He grabbed another one and held it to my lips.
Being fed by him seemed incredibly intimate but I didn’t back away. I just parted my lips and accepted the bite. I was chewing but I barely tasted the food. In the midst of the glamourous room filled with insane décor and people dressed to the nines, all I could see was Maddox.
Until the lights turned down two seconds later and a carnival caller came over the loud speaker. I turned, dying to see what was going to happen.
“What the hell?” Maddox asked. “Is Leah coming down from the ceiling on a giant swing?”
She was.
“That is amazing,” I said. “She’s straight-up Moulin Rouge.”
The announcer started singing. Maddox’s eyebrows shot up. “This is crazy.”
It was. Especially since a car pulled up and Grant got out of it. A car. In the ballroom. He stood and waited for her swing to hit the ground, then he took her hand, they got back into the car, and drove it across the length of the ballroom, waving to all the guests.
They parked at the edge of the dance floor and got out.
“What now?” Maddox murmured. “I mean, seriously, where do you go from here?”
“Space?” I suggested. “I love it. I love everything about this.”
Five First Dates Page 14