pants...”
Alice began to wish she had never mentioned the pants, and was certainly glad to see the other rabbit return with a large pot of tea and three surprisingly large cups. Sure, they were still perhaps only three-quarters the size of any teacup she had ever seen before, but for a while she had feared they may well have ended up drinking from thimbles.
As Mrs. Parker then placed the tray on the table her eyes narrowed, her face taking on a most stern appearance. “Whatever it is, we are not interested,” she then said.
Harold also appeared less than pleased. “Not today. Just keep on walking.” His fury brow was also creased, and it seemed he stared right through Alice.
The change of mood caught her by surprise. The rabbits had been most accommodating up until that moment, and Alice was unsure of exactly what she should do. Indeed if it were not for the shadow and the deep gurgling she would have simply given her farewell and been on her way. Perhaps she could find a nice patch of clover where she could sleep off whatever Brian had given her.
The shadow, however, prompted her to turn and look at what might have caused such a thing. Finding a large grey wolf walking along the path to the front door of the cottage was not what she was expecting at all, and Alice jumped to her feet at once, voicing her alarm. It came out as “oh shit,” and she did not think or care of any offence that might have caused to Mrs. Parker.
Harold was quick to defend her in any case. “She is not herself,” he said, and did not seem anywhere near concerned enough about the presence of the wolf.
And it was huge, Alice noticed. Even standing she found the withers of the beast coming at least to her waist as it circled around toward the table, its eyes a smouldering red. The fur was matted and in generally poor condition, and unlike the rabbits it was completely naked. Not that such a thing would normally seem all that unusual.
“Nasty fall, or some poorly executed magic,” the rabbit continued. “In any case you would be best to be on your way, Peter. I won't be buying any insurance today.”
The wolf snorted and peered toward Alice, large teeth exposed and glistening in the morning light. It was still gurgling more than she would have liked, and Alice was unsure of whether to run or take it on with the teapot. “Just a social call,” the wolf then said. “Commission work is for the birds.” He looked to Harold, then gave a nod to Mrs. Parker. “They have some crow doing this district now.”
The rabbits seemed to consider his words a moment, Harold still apparently unsure. “So what are you selling then?”
There were more dangerous teeth displayed. Alice wondered if it was supposed to be a smile. “Nothing today,” the wolf laughed, a guttural choking sound for the most part. “I'm between jobs you might say. Although I do still make quite a bit on the side doing building inspections for the pigs on Coventry County.”
Mrs. Parker then gave one of her matter of fact nods. “Then you can stay for tea of course. I'll get another cup.” With that she moved back toward the house.
“You are too kind,” the wolf said, sitting on the grass much as Alice had done, ignoring the chair.
Alice was still standing, unsure of whether to sit or not. Clearly the wolf was not like any real wolf, just as the rabbits were not like any real rabbit she had ever met. Even so it was very large and very dangerous looking, no matter how polite it might seem. For now it simply sat looking up toward Alice, much as Harold was doing, so Alice sat. It was just a hallucination after all.
Harold sat in turn and made the appropriate introductions. “Peter, this is Alice. Alice, this is my neighbour Peter.” The wolf gave a nod. “Alice is from Torr-on-Toe,” he then added.
Mrs. Parker arrived back with another cup and poured the tea, then sat in one of the small white chairs. “A scone, my dear,” she then offered.
Alice politely declined, as did the wolf. “I had a bite with the sheep down by Albany Brook,” he said. “Couldn't eat another thing.”
That brought a stare from at least one of those present, Alice looking long and hard at the wolf as it sipped its tea, the cup held with a far more dexterous paw than she would have expected. The wolf looked back as well, although not quite as intently, its eye flicking often to Harold as well. “So,” he then said. “You are from Torr-on-Toe? Quite a long way from home.”
“I'm from Toronto,” Alice corrected, receiving something of a blank gaze in return. “Canada,” she even added hopefully, as if that clarification was somehow meaningful in her current company.
“Ah,” came from Peter. “Even further than I imagined.”
“Powerful magic,” then from Harold.
“Indeed,” said the wolf.
“It wasn't magic,” Alice told them, wondering why she bothered. All she wanted to do was wake up and go home. The weather had already been turning for the worst in Toronto and she was likely laying in the rain for all she knew. “I've just... fainted or something.”
The others seemed unconvinced. “Unless you fainted into a transdimensional portal, that would seem very unlikely,” Peter explained. “These things don't happen accidentally you know.”
“Perhaps you could retrace your steps,” Harold suggested.
Alice thought on that a moment, wondering if perhaps some psychiatrist was out there trying to talk her back to reality. It wasn't as if she had a lot to lose, not with her sanity already out the window. So she closed her eyes and tried to think, not that there was a lot to remember. “I was in the park,” she said. “Then I was here.” When it cane down to it, that was about the whole story. “I did feel as if I was falling, and there was a chill...”
“In a park?” Harold interrupted.
“It was a wedding rehearsal,” Alice explained. “We're getting married next weekend. Brian and myself...”
“Oh a wedding,” came from Mrs. Parker. “How sweet. I'm so happy for you.”
“Marital bliss,” Peter added.
“The pitter patter of little feet,” again from Mrs. Parker.
“I adore babies,” the wolf then said. “Any sort of babies.”
Alice was sipping tea at that moment, choking on it as Peter spoke then trying to cover her actions. “I haven't really thought about children...”
“Harold was always very good with the children,” Mrs. Parker told her. “Although we only had thirty-seven.”
The wolf, meanwhile, had narrowed his gaze. “So what is this Brian like?”
“Is he strong and brave like my Harold?” asked Mrs. Parker, Harold squirming slightly.
Alice looked to the rabbit. “Well... Not really.” She looked to the wolf as well as he now actually did stare in her direction.
“Well, I'm sure he has other qualities,” Harold thought to say.
Alice drifted a moment, wondering if there was some significance in what was being said, some inner turmoil. “I guess,” she managed to voice. “He has a good job, nice car...” She decided to avoid speaking of any more intimate details, some of which had been lacking of late anyway.
“Oh dear,” Mrs. Parker sighed. “Doesn't sound like the foundation for a lasting relationship to me, not that I mean to pry. This should be your best friend, your life partner. Look at me and Harold. Married now seven whole years. We met when I was just a kitten.”
“You don't want to be marrying anyone unless you are sure,” Peter the wolf then rumbled. “Take it from personal experience.” He then downed the last of his cup, taking a moment in thought. “Call it off while you can. No need to put yourself through that sort of hurt.”
Marital advice from a wolf, Alice considered. Her therapist was going to have a field day with this one. “I couldn't call it off now,” she then laughed. “Brian would kill me.”
The silence that brought surprised Alice, the wolf's ears now folded back, his stare more intense. There was also another of those looks of horror on the face of Mrs. Parker, and even Harold appeared quite concerned. “It's a joke,” Alice then tried. “He wouldn't literally kill me. He has a temp
er, sure...” Mind you, it wasn't something she wanted to put to the test.
“Does he indeed?” the wolf groaned. “And this Brian is from Toronto you say?”
Alice thought that enough might well have been said, but then it wasn't as if she was talking to real people. “Well he is from Chicago actually. I'm from...”
“Chicago?” echoed Harold.
“I know an Afghan in Chicago,” Peter then said. “He has... contacts... If this Brian gives you any trouble...”
Alice found it difficult to do anything but blink for several moments, much like Harold had been doing earlier. “Look,” she then tried. “I just want to get home... wake up... whatever.”
The look of concern from the rabbits was genuine, Alice knew, or at least as genuine as anything she was hallucinating. Unfortunately they were just imaginary rabbits, and so they could only be just so much help to her. “You need to get home, yes,” Harold nodded. “As I say, there is an old turtle in the village who might be of some assistance...”
The wolf rolled his eyes. “You would be lucky if Simon didn't accidentally drop her in an ocean somewhere,” he complained.
“Well, he is the best magician in these parts,” Harold argued.
“He is the only magician in these parts,” Peter shot back, “and I think we are both being generous calling him any such a thing.”
Harold managed a sigh. “He is the best we have at hand. I will take you to see him and we can only hope he might send you somewhere near this Chicago.”
“Toronto,” Alice corrected again.
The rabbit then stood, but then so did Peter. “I can show her the way,” the wolf said. “I'm heading into the village anyway.”
Harold seemed to consider that a moment, noting the frown from Mrs. Parker. “Well if you don't mind. I should be getting back to the chores.”
The wolf looked to Alice. “No trouble at all.”
Alice, on the other hand, was not so happy about the idea. She wasn't altogether sure she wanted to be going anywhere with any imaginary creatures, but she was quite confident she would rather go with a rabbit than a wolf. “I really should just be getting home,” she tried.
Peter gave a nod. “It's all settled then. I can take you into the village. Perhaps Simon will be having a particularly good day.” Then he stood waiting.
“It has certainly been very nice to meet you Alice,” Mrs. Parker said as she collected the cups.
“Indeed it has,” added Harold. “You are welcome for tea any time.”
And they just stood there, the wolf moving out along the path toward the lane.
Alice rose to her feet. She wasn't sure she had a lot of options, and perhaps it was indeed best to go with the flow and see where her little fantasy was heading. She had already met the wolf, and perhaps a turtle would be a nice addition for her chat to her therapist.
“Is the village far?” she then asked. It still had the feeling of morning, which was a good thing. She didn't like the idea of being out after dark with a wolf at all. She also felt very much like she needed to go to the toilet, and so the faster she woke up the better.
“About three fetch,” the wolf pondered. “I could run there before you could drink another tea.” The was a flash of teeth. “It will take somewhat longer to walk, of course.”
Alice shrugged and followed, giving a last wave to the rabbits, secretly both feeling she would miss them as well as hoping she would would never see them again.
Peter didn't speak again until they were well out of earshot of the cottage. “Good people,” he said to Alice as she walked toward the other side of the lane, keeping her distance. “Somewhat on the nervous side, of course.”
“They're rabbits,” Alice thought to say.
“Indeed. Which is why I tend to not speak about the freelance work I do. Harold wouldn't quite understand. They live a somewhat insular life here. Very
Alice and the Rabbit - A Shards of Heaven Story Page 2