by Eve Kaan
At my table are managers of subsidiary activities such as the production of silk, sake and floral arrangements. Only the third table is exclusively filled with women. Also managers and wealthy matrons with significant long term investments in our night-time services.
Formal dinner just ended when some conversation between two men from the other side of our table took my attention. One of them is smoking a pipe without ceasing, while the other never released his sake plate. When I thought I could finally get rid of this table looking for a more interesting group to show my skills, an unusual topic popped out between those two men.
He started with the pouring of alcohol. 'I've heard what happened since Etsu left, we have to pay for everything, seems that there can't be turned a blind eye on anything as it would before.' The other men rolled his eyes. 'Etsu always sent us girls from another part of Yoshiwara, she and the other owner had a tacit agreement about different compensations. And now that is no more.' The first one replied, 'Female clients, or rather managers, took the worst of all, now they have to hide with girls. There they are, complaining to each other, surely - look at them, how condemning those squeezed eyes aimed at Respected lady are. Hahaha... we are still partly safe with our Respected gentleman. Well my friend, where is our entertainment?'
Both of them started laughing switching from one matter to others about night pleasures. It wasn't worth my attention anymore. I looked at the table with women, I can't hear anything, but I see the inadequate gestures of their bodies. Using my position, I went to them, interested in this topic. I sat between two middle-aged women. They are ignoring my presence, and what I heard astonished me. Rin is not aware of this fraud. They commented on how they are no longer able to get free services. While Etsu was the Respected lady, they got free nights from the girls - who were happy with the tips. Now Rin allegedly plans to stop sending girls to their properties, since they never send the payment on time - more like never at all. They said Etsu did not pay attention to such matters, Madam took care of it, and she could be bribed with some small sum and gifts, so everything stayed a secret. They complained further of how they couldn't lose this privilege, and on large amounts of gold, they would have to spend on those pleasures now. After a while, the theme switched on disgustingly inappropriate commenting on Rin's look, both of them were licking their filthy lips while watching her with vivid words of how they would entertain themselves with such beauty for nights. Then one of them said she would pay for one night with Rin more than her own annual earnings payment. Those two mentioned that the flood was a set up just like every spring so far, in order to false the damage and sell the goods on the side. They laughed at her not suspecting anything she was there for almost two days. Actually, they said Rin noticed the business is an overdraft. On the field, she had disclosed them, or so they thought, so deceiving her with a difficult life gave them her support, enough that she even decided to cover the losses. With a mocking tone, the commenting continued on how ambitious she is, with the conclusion of certainty that she will give up quickly when the realization leaves her no other choice but to comply on the sustainably rooted way of this business – referring to getting girls for free. Instantly Kaoru appeared in my thoughts with her expensive things, and she's earning far less than Utano. Maybe she's one of these girls.
I could no longer listen to their mockery, but I still decided to stay till the end, because of the story. They became quite improper when they started to touch me. I told them I wasn't one of those girls, but they continued to act as if I said nothing - offering me gold, only to find a small private corner with them. I have to stay polite and kindly decline that awful proposal, not causing a scandal in the process. Rin is completely immersed in conversations, so she's not noticing what's going on around her. None of our girls was in this room anymore. They all left with the guests. I tried to get away, but they grabbed my kimono just like that old crone have done it before. Accidentally, I overthrew the cup of tea. On the sound of porcelain crack Rin turned to my direction with a startled facial expression. Why is she looking at me like that? I didn't want to be unpolite. Rin stood up. Letting go of my kimono, those women ordered me to clean up the mess I made, I've never been humiliated like this before. The two of them mistreated me by using vulgar words while I was collecting sharp fragments of porcelain. Every word is related to their desire to enjoy in my female attributes. This treatment is the vilification of everything I was educated for. I no longer have the strength for repression, my eyes filled with tears. And with all this, even Rin looked at me like that. There is no way out of this situation.
I heard Rin behind my back, 'This is not fit for a lady.' I can't even look at her from embarrassment. I deserve every word, this is my fault. She was exceptionally kind, but with a cold tone, and a false smile on her lips. 'We don't educate our girls on how to pick up the debris from the table. You also have servers to do that, and from what I can see, we are surrounded by them. My ladies, I hope you will agree that no one wants for a girl of her skills to wound those beautiful soft hands she used to perform all those magical dance movements, in which the whole Yoshiwara enjoyed I believe?' She came for me, I astonishingly stared at her - there came my relief, but not because I was safe from these women, but because she came in my rescue. Ladies quickly retreated, apologizing even. Rin said her final words ending this encounter, 'I wish you a nice rest of the evening. Uta has business with other guests.' She looked at me waiting for me to take the first step.
I was quiet.
She led me towards the direction of her table, stopping halfway. 'Uta, I'm sorry for what happened to you. I had to be polite to those toads, the price of fish and wood depends on them. Are you alright?' I looked at her as she looked around becoming aware that the rest of the guests would barely fill the seats of one table.
'Thank you for coming. You shouldn't have been disturbed, I would've managed with them somehow. I'm sorry for the broken porcelain.'
Uta, if you want - the evening will be over soon. The carriage is outside. It can take you to sleep, you must be tired? I thought of sending you all home now.' Rin looked around again. I don't want to leave her alone amongst the wolves here. 'Well, where are the girls? I didn't give them permission to leave.' She's really not aware of anything.
'I'm not tired. I would like to enjoy the beauty of this house until the last moment. And the girls... Well t-the g-girls, allegedly... They are with guests.'
'What do you mean they are with guests? Where did they go? These are the girls I'm responsible for.' How to tell her the truth, she will feel humiliated because she didn't realize how they defrauded her when she wasn't looking. I told her only part of the illegal services at such parties, everything else I left unspoken. I think it's too much truth to bear in a place like this. Response to such things should come with a cooled head. She's not showing any reaction, looking through me in silence. 'Please tell me if you see them before me. I'm not leaving this place until each and every one of them comes back.' Surprisingly, she reacted calmly.
'May I join you, I would like to wait with you?'
Rin led me to her table, taking a small futon in the process and putting it near her for me to sit. She really is a proper lady, I'm left flattered although she probably did it reflexively. Drinking the sake, she didn't stop smoking. I glanced at her every now and then, while she began a subtle conversation with the Respected gentleman about the current situation. He laughed in a deep voice that filled the whole place we were at. 'Rin, you're really asking me if I know that the girls are with our guests now? Of course, I know. For their work tonight I get most of the goods with significant discounts. Isn't this the goal of the event like this one?'
She got upset but tried to cover her emotional distress. 'I'm glad you have such a good deal for your business. Still, it seems to me that the Great House, as well as their houses, are damaged in this management, primarily the Mothers. She can't run the household on an appropriate level with modest income.'
The man co
uldn't be discomfited. 'Rin my dear, you're still young. It's enough for Mothers to have their girls at usual work. Besides,' he looked around searching the confirmation of the guests at the table, 'we should spread a word about our girls even in distant parts. You can't hold them just for yourself. That's the problem with you women. No bonding should be included, they are a commodity. You try every girl - of course, how else would you know what you have to offer our clients with.'
Anger consumed her. 'The word of my girls are well spread. I've heard that some diseases have become popular in your parts.'
He continued, 'What word? That you are sponsoring them yourself? Hahaha... a classic woman! And Rin, about diseases, it's only a little cough that caught me, if you meant that.' He mocked her with other guests. Rin looked at me, her eyes screaming, but she kept her mouth shut. The guests gave him support with a laugh. 'And your field, little one, everybody knows that every year there's a plotted flood. It's just a part of what all of them are doing behind your back. You have to mingle to find out such things...'
She stood up leaning on her arms holding them on the table surface. She didn't shout, she was just presumptuous but relatively silent, 'I'm breaking up all the relationships with your part of Yoshiwara. We will not do any business together anymore.'
The man suddenly changed his attitude, 'Rin, don't be like that. Costs are much lower when we share external supply - I've arranged some great opportunities today that will be ruined if the whole Yoshiwara is not included.'
She started to collect her belongings, 'I'm done with you. The only thing I can't break is our joint house 24 - I'll pay for it regularly.' She turned to me and took my arm, 'Let's get out of this nest Uta.'
The man screamed after us, 'You will be back. You will beg me to do business again when your costs grow high. You can't be alone in this line of work...'
Rin stopped at the door. She turned slowly toward him - the whole table fall in silence. Rin was calm while she interrupted his words. Instead of a polite way to say goodbye she spoke boldly, 'I have so much gold that you can't make with three Yoshiwara's in two lifetimes. I transacted in business with you only out of pity so the expenses of your households wouldn't disenable you to work on a decent level.'
In the silent background only his furious voice could be heard, 'She'll beg me. On her knees, she'll be back.'
Rin found out everything. I can see she's angry. Our walking is so fast that we are on the verge of running. 'Carriage!!!' She shouted full of rage as we descended the stairs from the porch. There isn't any sentence good enough to speak it out loud. I'm not sure how to act. Rin is still holding me under my arm, but I don't think she's even aware of it. She ordered to drive us to the Great House. I have to calm her down. This is the worst moment to attack all of them in the house. In fact, it would be the best if she would put an act for now, as if nothing has happened, that way it would be easier to confirm suspicions. They are relaxed, so no one thinks she can see what's been going on behind her back. She needs to stay calm and collected to reveal every detail.
'I can't believe this is happening to me.' Rin repeated those words several times. She held her head lowered in her hands. I can't see her facial expression, just by her voice I can assume about her mood. I should react.
'This is not the worst thing in the world.'
'They all betrayed me.' after a long silence Rin continued, 'This is all my fault. I am the one who allowed this fraud.' Her voice sounded as if it was on the verge of breaking. I sat beside her - just to let her know she wasn't alone.
'It's not your fault. Those who want to steal will always find a way, whether it be you or someone else in your position.'
'I'm always trying to please everyone, provide them with a decent income to live above the poverty that prevails in the rest of the country.' I felt helpless looking at her. 'Was it not enough for them? How far can human greediness really go?' Her voice is shaking as she speaks with half strength, I think she is overwrought from everything that befell her.
✽✽✽
Rin
I only need Uta here right now, close to me. I just want her embranchment to release every drop of repressed tears from my eyes. Trying to soothe me, she said, 'It's true that greed doesn't know the boundaries when gold is in question, but that is not your fault, they were raised the wrong way.' Her comfort words mean a lot to me. 'I would give this sumptuous way of life in a heartbeat if I could go back to poverty with my grandmother, as I once lived.' Maybe questioning her intentions was only my judgmental mistake. I believed in intentions of all those other people, but I didn't trust her. 'In my house, talking of you is in the most delightful light. Everything is better since you came.' I placed my hand on hers - I need touches of solace.
I took her hand, but my head is still lowered. 'Yoshiwara is just one of the branches in the entertainment business my family has - it's not even considered a serious job, compared to everything else in our possession...' I'm trembling now. '... I chose Yoshiwara because I thought I could change the lives of abandoned children by giving them a life they could only dream of...' She placed her fingers under my chin carefully lifting my head gently. Her eyes caught my red ones and filled with tears. '... I don't need Yoshiwara for gold. I have been raised to believe that every being must have a responsibility in the means of work.' I feel weak - barely could speak. 'Yoshiwara was supposed to be my contribution to this world - they have taught me that a person who is unengaged with having a purpose isn't useful.' I started to lower my head, but she tried not to allow me to fell in even deeper despair. She stared into my eyes, reassuringly squeezing my hand in order to show me her understanding.
'Ever since you came to Yoshiwara – I couldn't be happier.' I was instantly caught up in Uta's words. 'I dreamed of leaving...' She stopped, leaving the thought unfinished. My body slowly leaned in, to hug her while she holds me protectively as if she is moving the whole world away from our moment. How can she have such an effect on me? The tears have struck the dam, Uta is all I need in life, and I almost gave up on her. With closed eyes I gently pressed my cheek behind her ear, breathing her relaxing scent. I silently sobbed.
'I should have stayed in Europe.' My weakness in body and voice became evident. She embraced me as tight as she could, pulling me carefully towards herself. 'This job is just voluntary work for me.' Unconsciously I'm descending down along her neck breathing deeply over trembling. I closed my eyes and spoke softly, almost in a whisper, 'I don't need this.' I'm no longer sure whose shivers are between us. 'I almost abandoned myself.'
'I fantasized...' she repeated softly, our bodies squeezed in one shape. She ceased her sentence while I was sending my thoughts to her. 'I need you, Uta. I want to belong to you, I want to tell you how much I have been dreaming of us.' I am tenderly moving my face, caressing her cheek. She finished with a whisper '... and then I met you.' My head movements stopped when the corners of our lips touched. She is telling me how she feels. Her face is warm like a spring sun. 'Everything changed...' she said on my lips. Every letter from her mouth is traveling through my skin. '... in me...' Her voice is trembling. My hand traveled up, couping her cheek very gently, I just don't want to be used by her. '... every cognition, every emotion...' I begin to kiss her tender skin near her lips. I can't resist her anymore. She is melting in my hand, I'm stroking her across the face all the way to her neck. Our fingers laced in touch softer than the silk thread. While kissing the smooth surface of her cheekbone, I'm dying of desire to place my lips on the place I want more than anything. Her heart began to beat faster as if trying to break out of her into another chest. She is placing the kisses on the corner of my lips. I'm allured with every touch, my soul taking it all. The carriage abruptly stopped, separating us into two entities, only our hands remained frantically clutched.
The Great House stood in front of us. She didn't let go of my hand. We stopped at the entrance of my chamber, looking into each other's eyes in complete silence without a breath. I slowly opened the door,
releasing her hand gently, then turning toward it to go in.
Her steps followed mine, I can only hear her breathing.
She stayed behind me standing frozen in front of the closed door. A quiet stream is the only sound in the room. Bright rays of the moonlight are scattered all over us. I turned to her, approaching in slow motion. Lust is evident through her gaze. I'm standing right in front of her body. We feel each other's touch with noses peak, losing sight in the darkness filled with thirsty lips. Her neck is shivering beneath my fingers which are touching her like a spindle. She closed her eyes, discreetly pulling down her obi. The kimono unfolded slightly, our rhythm of taking air accelerated.
Her naked body is looming in traces discovered under the influence of the shiny sky. She timidly pulled me closer to herself, holding me more carefully than the broken flower. I leaned toward her lips. I can feel shimmers of her skin underneath my touch, her smile dimples and the smell of rose petals coming from a special place. I pressed her on the wooden door. Above the gently gathered emotions, our first kiss is born, wrapped in the notes of a trickling stream. Time just stopped and the night has become swamped by the blast of shining stars. I'm drowning in her sensual lips, softer than velvet. An unknown emotional vastness is growing inside of me.
Moving my fingers under her kimono through a mighty thump in her chest, my hands are turning into a shape of her curves. I'm shivering, my feelings frightening me, but the urge prevails. I need her more than air. With a trembling palm, I'm wrapping the tense overside skin of her breast, descending the touch towards her waist. She's a spell, heat is consuming me. I'm going to the bottom of her back to draw her closer. I want to become one with her and stay like that until the end of time. She is leaning against me with passionate moves of soft lips, leading us away from the hardwood.