A knock comes through the door and I call, “Come in.”
Two servants wheel in a bronze cart with a bottle of wine and two covered trays. They bow, their eyes darting from side to side, before taking their leave. They must have been looking for a glimpse of the fae king. That’s the reality of rumors around here. Rowan comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel cinched around his waist. When I glimpse it, my face flushes and I'm quick to turn my head back toward the fire. He chuckles but says nothing about my embarrassment. I stand and move over to the wine, popping it open to pour each of us a glass.
He steps up behind me and runs his hands down my arms, sending chills along the way. The robe suddenly feels like a mistake. I have absolutely nothing on beneath it. He won’t try anything, right?
“If that’s what you want,” he whispers before grazing his lip along the back of my ear.
“It is,” I reply as I turn, handing him his glass.
He holds it up. “Your wish is my command.”
“I wish you’d stop saying stuff like that in front of everyone,” I mutter, opening the dishes.
Steam rises from the mouth-watering steak dishes before me, and I grab mine before plopping down on the couch in front of the fire. Rowan hands me my wine once I get comfortable, and sits next to me, thankfully a comfortable distance away. We eat in silence, both of us watching the fire. Why does this have to be so awkward ever since Rai forced me to confess to him? Every time we’re alone, I have to battle with myself as to why I shouldn’t let my instincts take over. Sighing, I set my plate on the table and pull a wool blanket over my legs.
“What instincts?” he asks.
“Can we not talk about this?” I plead, gripping my wine glass with two hands and staring intently at the dark liquid within.
“We need to be honest with each other, Tiana. I have done nothing but lay my heart out to you. I need you to do the same if you’re serious about us,” he says.
I throw up my hands. “That’s just it! I’m serious, but I’m not. I’m sure, and then I’m not. I’m too young to make this choice. Fae have lived for hundreds of years. I don’t want to make the wrong choice.”
He turns my face with one finger, grazing it along my jawline. “Have you ever thought that there isn’t a wrong choice? Only a better one?”
“That doesn’t make sense to me, Rowan. Human’s fall deeply, bitterly in love. There can be nothing and no one else. I’m waiting to feel that way.”
He smiles, revealing the laugh lines around his eyes. “When will you get it through your thick skull that you are not human, Tiana? You are the Queen of the Fae, my wife. At least in the title. There’s no going back from that. You have five souls, and they’ll all want someone else. But what do you want?”
I turn toward him, and my robe parts, revealing my bare thighs. His eyes flit down to the sight, but quickly move back to my face. A light red sheen stains his cheeks, and I hold in my laughter. This is the first time I’ve seen him show embarrassment about anything, let alone my nakedness.
I close my eyes. “I know what I want right now. And that’s to finish this war, bring peace to both light and dark fae, and then think about mating for life. Is that too much to ask?”
I hear him move closer before feeling his warm fingers against my cheek. Rowan leans his forehead against mine, taking a deep breath. When he lets it out, it cascades over my cheeks, heating them up. Even such a small gesture sends my body into overload. I’m afraid of what I’ll do when we become more intimate. If we become more intimate.
“Look at me, Tiana.”
I allow my eyes to flutter open, and they lock with his beautiful plum irises, shining with that golden light. He leans closer, watching me carefully the entire time, and when I don’t pull away, he rests his mouth on mine. Sensation explodes over my tongue, and I open my mouth wider for him instinctively. My eyes flutter closed, and I fist my hands in his long ebony hair. He doesn’t move too fast though, only kisses me thoroughly, sensually. His hands move my robe off my shoulders, and it comes to rest against my elbows, just barely hiding my breasts from view. Rowan breaks the kiss to forge a path of desire down the column of my throat, making a high-pitched moan slip from my mouth.
My eyes open slowly, and I can see our reflection in the mirror above the dresser. Our skin is glowing with lilac spirit energy, pulsing in time with my racing heart. Rowan is shirtless, and the corded muscles on his back shift with each movement he makes, making me swoon. The distant feeling of shock flows through me when I notice my over pronounced fae-like features. Would my father recognize me like this? Am I really such a different person from before this all ever started? And if I am, is it a bad thing? He pushes me back on the couch, and I lose my view of the mirror.
“Stop thinking for a few minutes. Can you do that for me?” Rowan whispers against my skin.
My robe slips open, revealing my naked body to him, and while he’s seen it before when we were both drunk, this feels more intimate. We’re of sound mind. I’m allowing it with nothing clouding my judgement. It makes it scarier somehow. Will he find it acceptable? Sexy?
You are beautiful.
Stop that.
No thinking.
His hands begin at my throat, moving slowly down my body. They cup my breasts, and I arch my back into the touch. His lips follow, and he chuckles against my skin every time I squirm. This is a different sort of intimacy than I’ve had before. Sex is common; connection like this is rare. His lips close over one nipple while he teases the other between two fingers, and I moan in ecstasy.
Is this okay?
Yes! Oh yes!
He chuckles again, releasing my breasts, and a pathetic whimper leaves my throat. Rowan rises up, and I spot the hard erection he has, and yet, he refuses to take off his pants as he moves further down my body. Positioning himself over my sex, he lifts my legs onto his shoulders, bringing me close to his face. Fire trails between my thighs wherever his fingers graze, and I throw my head back against the pillows, panting. What will he do with me?
“Yes, what will I do?” he murmurs, his voice deliciously gruff.
In one swift movement his mouth is upon me, stoking the desire into a rising inferno. I cry out so loudly that anyone in a five-mile radius would hear my moans. At first, I attempt to buck away from him, embarrassment and surprise making my face flush more than the desire had, but his grip is firm. His tongue strokes expertly, driving my climax farther and farther toward completion.
“Stop thinking,” he growls, and I can feel his words against my sex.
Rowan continues his heavenly seduction, and wraps my legs firmly around his shoulders, leaving his hands to roam. They cup my bottom, slapping it once, twice, and I cry out as it drives me over the edge. I convulse against him, release barreling down my spine like thunder. One strong hand wraps around my hip to steady me while the other strokes my core, riding the wave of my orgasm.
Only once the shivers pass, and I slump against the couch slick with sweat, does he allow my legs to come off his shoulders. My eyes flutter closed, partly due to exhaustion, and partly from shyness. He lays his body between my legs, coming to rest his forearms on either side of my head. I open my eyes, feeling vulnerable.
He brushes my hair from my sticky forehead, smiling tenderly. “Revel in it, my love. Being open is not a weakness, it is a blessing, a source of emotional strength. Now sleep.”
He presses one thumb against my forehead, surging spirit energy into me, and I fall into blissful darkness.
***
I wake with a start the next morning, and I’m bundled under the blankets in bed, completely naked as I was the night before. Rowan is nowhere to be found when I sit up. The fire is in embers, and none of our belongings are in the room any longer. He must have gone with Orin to ready the horses for our journey home.
When I stand to stretch, I expect to wince from my recent human-like healing process but am pleasantly surprised. My body is languid in a way it hasn’t been
in weeks, and my injuries have healed more overnight than they had in the past three days. I don’t want to think about what that means.
He had left a clean change of clothes on the bathroom counter, and a still-magically warm bath. When I step farther into the room, I notice a note lying on the counter next to a breakfast tray. Taking a bite of toast, I snatch up the paper to read what Rowan had to say.
I will be back in an hour or so once we have everything settled. Think of me while you're in the bath. -Rowan
I roll my eyes and burn the note between my fingers for good measure. Despite the childish delivery, I’m grateful for the warm bath once I sink into it. Every time he prepares one for me, it seems to have healing properties to it that I can’t replicate. I’ll have to ask him how he does it, to which he will most likely reply, a magician must never reveal his secrets. I snicker at my own thoughts and sink lower into the bubbles.
But one thought nags me, and it has been since last night. Why did he force me to sleep after pleasuring me? Why not allow me to return the favor? It makes me feel guilty, and slightly upset. Does he think I won’t live up to his other lovers? Contrary to what he may think I know my way around the bedroom. He’d be lucky to have me as a lover.
“Would I?” he asks, and I whip around to see him standing in the doorway, smirking.
“Yes! You would.” I sputter as I stumble out of the tub.
He steps forward, holding open a soft towel for me. I allow him to wrap it around my shoulders, albeit begrudgingly. Rowan wraps his arms around my waist, and I look up to see our coupled reflection once again. This time it looks sweet, normal. Something any two lovers might do in the human world. It sends a warm feeling through my chest, one that I think I could get used to. He locks eyes with me in the mirror, bright desire hooded in his gaze, and something else. Love? Admiration? I can’t tell.
“Don’t get the wrong idea, Tiana. I’d love nothing more than to bury myself in you and forget anything else. To completely and utterly give myself to you—” He pauses to kiss his way up my neck, stopping at me ear. “—but I can’t.”
“Why?” I whisper.
He closes his eyes. “I told you. You have to be the one to stop, go, or take it forward bit by bit. I’m falling toward you like a rockslide. If we come together in that way, I will be forever yours, whether or not you choose me. I’d rather not live with that the rest of my life if you mate with Lucien. You are the sun, while I am the earth. Now, get dressed. We have a meeting with the king before we take off.”
He leaves the room, shutting the door softly behind him. My heart breaks as I watch him go, indecision rattling my heart. This man. This honest, kind, and beautiful man loves me with the force of all five elements. Why can I not allow myself to love him fully? To fall just as hard? Just as inevitably? It’s the guilt on my shoulders. The feelings that continue to stir within my chest when I think of Lucien need to fade before I can choose Rowan. But will they?
I haven’t even thought about Lucien since returning to the academy, let alone spoke to him for longer than a few minutes. Which is another reason to feel guilty. Rowan has stolen all my attention. He talks about me being his sun, his flame, but the truth is that he’s mine. His presence is all-consuming to me, and whenever he’s in the room, I can focus on little else. While the desire Lucien and I have beats anything I experienced in the human realm, it is not the raging inferno that Rowan creates, and it has taken me too long to realize that. To accept it.
Unfortunately realizing my choice doesn’t lessen the guilt.
I step out of the bathroom, an apple in my mouth as I pull my leather boots up my calves. Rowan is standing by the door, arms crossed in a passive aggressive manner. He can be butthurt all he wants, I’m not going to bite into a conversation like that right now. Fighting with the king of the Fire Kingdom will be taxing enough for today.
He holds open the door and I storm past him, refusing to look him in the eye. And we're back to being awkward with each other. Two steps forward and one step back. Most likely because of me. We move down the hall in silence, Rowan trailing behind me like a wounded dog. It gives me time to admire the architecture of the Fire Kingdom castle. Over the last few days, I've been too preoccupied with everything that happened with the king to really look around. Everything is made of dark, ebony rock, gold running through it like veins. Orin was right when he said that his father preferred something simple, yet it does have a certain elegance to it.
We descend three flights of stairs before coming to the floor that the throne room is on. Orin stands by the large double doors, waiting for us in the same getup he had on when we first arrived. I still can't get over the flaming cloak trailing down his back. He raises his hand to wave at us as we come closer, and when his eyes move past me to Rowan, he smiles, but immediately tries to hide it behind his hand. Rowan must look just as angry to him as he does to me.
When I get close enough for him to whisper, he asks, “What did you do?”
“Nothing, I don't wanna talk about it. All I can handle today is talking your crazy father off the ledge.”
He gives me a withering look. “My crazy father? He's not crazy, Tiana. He's just older and thinks differently than you do. He’ll come around; he already has a little. Last night, after Rowan and you went back to your rooms, my brother and I went to see my father in his quarters. He was reflective about the past few hundred years, almost remorseful. I've never seen my father be remorseful in his entire existence, at least not while I've been alive.” He pauses to look at me. “You're changing people, Tiana. One meeting and my father is already regretting everything he's ever done. How do you do that to people?”
We stare at each other for a moment before Rowan catches up. I don't answer him as the doors to the throne room swing open and trumpets sound again as they did yesterday. I'm not even sure what I would say in response to his question. I'm honest in a way the fae aren't used to. We are on a different level no matter what they say. Being half-human gives me something that they don't have, and while they may believe that to be a weakness, I see it as a strength. There is nothing more valuable than having empathy for the people around you.
No one announces us today as the only people in the throne room are Tegan, the king, and his queen. She looks just like Orin; she has the same sandy-blond hair and striking, blue eyes. It takes my breath away how beautiful she is. She is one of the original fae, and while she is breathtaking, I can't help but wonder who she is underneath at all. Is she similar to her husband? Or is she like her happy-go-lucky son?
This time, no one bows to each other as we approach, the king watches me warily as if he's waiting for me to make another table-turning statement. It's not my fault that he didn't realize I had a few things up my own sleeve. And I'm going to leave after revealing one more.
“I've come to thank you for pledging your allegiance to the new King and Queen of the Fae,” I say.
“It is my pleasure,” King Odysseus says. “The information you have given us is invaluable. I look forward to seeing your conquests in the future whether that be through bloodshed or over coffee.” He smiles wickedly at me then, and I return the gesture.
“Speaking of invaluable information,” I say, “as your new queen, I forbid you from using it against the dark fae. Octavius, the grand general of the dark fae legions, has entrusted me with that information in order for me to use it to gain peace, not cause more destruction. You will pull your troops out of any territory that does not belong to you, and while you may protect what's yours, you will do only that. No fire fae soldiers will step foot out of this border until I say so. If your troops aren't back in the next week, there will be consequences.”
He leans back in his chair, a slight frown pulling at his features, and it makes his scars look grotesque. “Oh, really? What kind of consequences?”
“I won't be giving them to you, they will be delivered by Rowan. He is the man you should fear.” I tilt my head as if I'm looking at an injured anim
al. “And I suspect that you already do. You've been warned.”
He slouches back in the throne, acting as if my words don't scare him. “Very well, I will order my troops to fall back. You will not see any resistance from me—” He pauses, looking less than cooperative. “—my queen. Now leave my kingdom, and I would not be distressed if you never came back.”
Chapter Thirteen
We're halfway up the mountain when Orin finally speaks again. “I have never seen my father submit to anyone; that was quite a sight.”
“Well, I'd say it went well until the last part which felt more like a threat than a compliment.”
He laughs. “The things my father says are more like insults than anything. Don't sweat it, you were right when you said that he's afraid of Rowan. Anyone would be downright ignorant not to be. And before you say anything, I know that you're also strong and powerful, and that you can do anything we can do.”
I tip my chin up, grinning at him. “As long as you know.”
We smile at each other and continue to talk, mostly of trivial things. He tells me about his childhood and growing up next to his older brother and the fire court. They didn't actually realize that he was the heir to the throne until he became of age; that was when his power began to grow.
“My brother is one hundred years older than me, give or take a few years. He grew into his powers when he was about twenty-five, as did I. Before I became the heir to the throne, my father merely saw me as a practice dummy for my brother. He was to use me as he saw fit in order to become the man he was always meant to be. Little did they know that I would become the man he was meant to be.” He looks down the hillside at the trees below, the sun shining down on them. “Sometimes I believe they still haven't accepted it. If my father could live forever, he would just so he wouldn't have to give the throne up to me.”
“I don't think that's true. You're capable and powerful.”
High Fae Academy - Year Three: Paranormal Fae Romance Page 10