by Terry Reid
The guardian angel sat in the centre of the living room floor, legs crossed, eyes closed. He had been meditating for the better part of an hour. Silence and darkness were his only companions for the duration of the tricky exercise. Alexander was attempting to find peace, but it was proving to be a challenge. Introspection of his core always had been since the day a segment of it had been cut from him. Once upon a time clearing his mind and focusing on his soul had brought him clarity and ease. But now his core complained each and every time he tried, crying out for its missing component. The complaining turned to emptiness, then to despair, then to anger - which the old warrior felt now. He tried to push it away, turning his thoughts to other things, but his mounting frustration kept pushing its way back to the surface. Then the bitter memories returned again…
******
Alex stumbled. The guard, impatient to get him to the court room, had yanked the chain that held his manacles. Alex knew better than to complain; it would win him no friends here, only jeers. He shuffled a few hurried steps to keep up, while keeping his eyes firmly on the grey paved street. Even still, he felt their eyes on him. Hundreds of angels had turned out to see him be led to the court, a short walk from the sky cells. He had once paraded through this street with his three brothers, returning as heroes of a war in a far off place. Then the crowds had cheered for him; now they hated him.
Their despising was palpable. Instead of throwing curses they gave Alex only silence: the silence of shock, the silence deserved by wrongdoers of such scale that no one knows what to say. The clink of the manacles was the loudest sound in the world to him. He heard one of the two guards flanking him mutter something to the other. What, Alex could not make out. The chains did that: they limited the angel’s acute senses to little more than those of a human. As far as his powers were concerned, the chains all but extinguished them.
Alex did not dare glance at the sky, even though it was blue and cloudless overhead. Any other day and that would have made him happy. But the irony of it only made him that more depressed.
Alex was led inside a large marble arch. There he dared a glance around the vast, pillared lobby of the heavenly court. There were few angels there but the ones that were stared at him passively. He recognised a few of them but they gazed at him as if he were a stranger. Wounded by the thought of failed friends, he lowered his gaze again.
A few minutes later and he was presented to the court. If there was one small mercy he only had to face the three Elders that would be his judge and jury. Once sat in the dock, a simple white stone bench vaulted with black veins, his chains were removed. One of the guards retired while the other two stood one to each side of the accused.
“Stand up, Alexander,” The Elder sitting in the centre of the large marble table before him said.
Alex did as he was bid but said nothing, although his heart raced like a jackhammer.
The lead judge, Caracus, regarded him for a long moment. His look was one of great sadness. “Alexander, is there any last thing you wish to say to us, before we pass verdict?”
Alex held Caracus’s gaze, his expression unreadable. “No.”
The corner of Caracus’s mouth twitched. Signalling to his colleagues the three of them rose as one. “Alexander, therefore you know we must pass a heavy sentence upon you. You know the penalty for what you have done, slaying fellow kinsman, is punishable by eternity in Hell.”
Alex lowered his gaze but said nothing.
“However,” Caracus sighed, getting the angel’s attention, “our Creator has handed you a reprieve.”
Alex’s eyes widened. He looked around the faces of the judges but found no explanations.
“You are to have your soul cut and a kindred spirit carved from it in the form the Creator sees fit,” Caracus said. “However, you will spend a thousand years waiting for your soul mate. Never to meet, never to see and never to hear from her so that you shall understand the torment plagued by those who lost their soul mates the day you destroyed that star.”
Alex started shaking his head. He had seen friends who had lost their soul mates go mad. “No…” he muttered.
“Take him away,” Caracus said, waving his hand. He and his companions resumed their seats.
“No! No! Why would my maker do this to me?” Alex cried as the two guards held him back. “Why?” he shouted as they dragged his struggling weight away. “Why?” he screamed. But silence was his only answer.
Chapter Five
Hayley woke the next morning to find Alex in her bed, cuddled against her. She smiled. Hayley could not remember him coming into her room, nor climbing into her bed, but she was glad he had. She smiled and slipped her arms around him and squeezed the angel tightly.
Alex woke. Lifting his head back, he yawned. The angel blinked through bleary eyes, trying to clear his vision. Alex usually did not sleep more than one night in every twenty. Most other nights he lay awake quietly, only filling the quilts to satisfy Hayley. She found it easier to sleep with him cuddled up to her. But he did not mind though; he enjoyed her company just as much.
Alex peered down at Hayley, still blinking as he gathered his senses.
She smiled back at him. “And how did you get in here last night?”
He smiled that familiar wry, clever smile of his where the right corner of his lip curled up. “I thought this was my bed as well,” he said, cheekily.
Hayley’s smiled widened. “Angels don’t need beds,” she said, kissing him.
“Huh,” Alex said, between kisses. “That’s a lie. I need to sleep sometimes and when I do, I might as well be comfortable.” Hayley drew away and stared at him. “What is it?”
“Did I get up last night?” she asked, doubt in her voice.
Alex shook his head. “No, you didn’t get up once, why?”
“That’s weird, I thought I did. It must have been a dream.”
“It must have been.” He made to sit up and Hayley rolled off him. “I’ll go make us breakfast.”
“Aw, but I was so comfy.”
Alex stretched his arms out as he stood, his wings following suit. He turned back to her, smiling. “I know but you have to be in college in just over an hour. It’s time to get up,” he said, pulling his t-shirt over his head and wings.
“I have website building today, your favourite, for three hours.”
Alex turned around as he reached the door and smiled. “Oh that does sound like fun, something to put me to sleep again,” he laughed, disappearing into the hallway.
But Alex’s smile failed as soon as he stepped out into the hall, his nightmare still fresh in his mind. He had dozed off mid-meditation. That was when the chilling memory had come for him. Frightened awake, he had crawled in beside Hayley for comfort. It pained him not to tell her but Alex had not wanted to scare the girl. She had enough to worry about as it was with Gabriel on the loose. Pushing the troubling thoughts away, he went into the kitchen and popped the kettle on.
******
John Hughes came bounding down the stairs, buttoning up his school shirt. The teenager came to a halt three steps from the bottom when he spied the angel still sitting on his couch in the living room.
“Morning,” Christopher said with a friendly smile, looking his direction.
John finished his descent. “I thought you went home,” he said, doing up his last button as he walked into the living room. He cast the TV a quick glance before looking back to Christopher, who was sitting with a cup of tea in hand.
The blond-haired angel with the grey eyes looked up at the ranging youth and smiled. The expression put the seventeen year old in mind of Alex, save the older of the two brothers had black hair and bright blue eyes. But despite the difference in their hair and eye colour, the two looked almost like twins when they smiled.
“I thought I would stay a little longer this time. Your mother didn’t mind, I hope you don’t,” Christopher said, sipping his tea.
“No, of course not,” John said, sweeping his long
, brown fringe out of his eyes to one side. He sat next to the angel, his gaze returning to the morning news. “I wish you could be here all the time. It would make me feel better.”
“I do not think your mother has changed her mind.”
John looked at Christopher and saw the fear in his eyes. “I know it is Hayley Gabriel is after but what’s stopping him from coming after me and my mum?”
Christopher gave a slow, understanding nod. “That is what I fear as well. But like I said, your mother is not keen on having me here all the time.”
“Yeah but what does she know?” John asked, shaking his head. His gaze returned to the telly and the question was left unanswered. The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the reports the world had to offer.
“Can I ask you something?” John finally said.
“Of course,” Christopher said, leaning forward and sitting his empty cup on the coffee table.
“Do you have a soul mate?”
The angel considered the question carefully before he turned to face John. “No, not yet.” He smiled. “But hopefully one day.” His gaze returned to the telly.
But John continued to watch him. “Do all angels get one?” He shrugged. “Do humans?” he asked, sweeping at his fringe again.
Christopher’s mouth formed a faint smile but he did not say a word.
******
Alexander stalked his charge at a distance, out of phase and unseen to the rest of the world. The angel had opted to guard the old fashioned way like his kin today. Hayley’s friends were pleasant enough but they would not leave him alone when he accompanied his soul mate. Today he was in no mood for the distraction. Besides, strolling through the bustling shopping district that was Glasgow’s Buchanan Street with a sword at his hip would draw all the wrong kind of attention. Alex was afforded peace as well, despite being surrounded by people. When he was out of phase with the physical world, the hundreds of passing voices sounded muted. It was like they were talking under water. It wasn’t silence but it was better than listening to the droves of humans at full volume in his opinion. The angel needed time to think, as well as guard without hindrance.
Hayley chatted with her friends as they meandered their way between the torrents of pedestrians, going every direction imaginable. Hayley, Elaine and Anne walked past an unusual shop front. Where there should be brick, there was only glass, reflecting the world in drained colours and warped edges. Alex’s reflection must have caught for he saw a little girl staring at him as he walked her by. The angel turned his head and the blonde haired toddler turned hers. She strained to keep looking at the tall, white-winged man as her mother, clutching her tiny hand, led her away. Alex smiled and waved. Her little face lit up. Alex’s gaze drifted to the guardian striding several paces behind her. He nodded a greeting, which his brethren returned in kind. Alex did not know the fellow but it was reassuring to have another of his own in the city: one not content on killing him or Hayley was a bonus. He wondered if the little girl and her mum had recently moved in or were just visiting.
Hayley and the girls spent lunchtime in a Chinese restaurant. Alex sat beside Hayley as he always did, but to everyone present there was no one there but an empty chair.
Do you want to join us? Hayley asked through her mind.
I’m fine, thanks. I can hear enough of Elaine, even from here.
She smiled but Elaine thought it was for the story she was telling about a nice man she had met three nights past. As always, the black haired girl with the big eyes was over excited.
Is everything ok?
There was a pause before he answered. Yeah, of course it is. Why do you ask?
You just seem a little quiet today.
He looked at her when she spoke but Hayley kept her gaze on Elaine. A pang of loneliness passed through his ghostly form and Alex remembered why he hated watching from a distance.
Come join us, Alex. You can still draw your sword if anything happens.
People will see my wings.
Let them see. Let them know that they’re not alone in the world.
Alex blinked, surprised by her reaction. He watched as she leaned across the table and asked Elaine something before the whole table broke into an uproar of laughter.
What’s wrong? she asked, still laughing with her friends.
He had to admire her skill at the two-way conversation. It’s nothing. You just surprised me with what you said.
She smiled again. I wasn’t being serious. Alex, stop being boring. You were never this jumpy before, why are you now? Her question was met with silence and for a moment she glanced his way, despite not being able to see him.
Alex gazed back at her, the words on the tip of tongue. He wanted to tell her it all, to tell the truth more than ever, but at the last duty restrained him. Alex sat back in his chair, despite no longer being made of flesh. But the fabric held rather than let him slip through. Alex glanced towards his soul mate. I’m just scared, he said. He saw the smile fall from her face.
Me too.
Alex reached out his ghostly hand and placed it upon hers. He laced his fingers between Hayley’s and watched as her hand tensed, as if squeezing his own. He saw her smile return and it warmed his heart.
******
Alex had resumed his corporeal form - minus the wings and sword - when Hayley finished college for the day. The angel walked her home, clutching her hand tightly in his. The day had been sunny and crisp but cold. It was beginning to become even more so as the sun set against a frozen horizon.
Hayley rubbed her hands together as the two of them ascended the staircase to their new flat. She did not mind the walk but she wished the winding stairs of the tower block shared some of the heat from the flats where the heaters blazed: it was as cold as it was outside.
“Are you all right?” Alex asked, offering his hand to her again.
Hayley grabbed a hold of it. “Yeah, I’ll just be glad once we’re back inside.”
“I’ll put the heating on. I…” He froze on the step, his eyes going wide.
“Alex?”
Without word he wrapped his arms around her and they vanished into thin air.
In the blink of an eye Hayley found herself standing within the warmer confines of their flat. Alex bolted to the living room before she could ask what was going on. She ran after him. But once she set foot in the room she wished she hadn’t.
Alex and Christopher’s father, Andrew, lay sprawled across the floor in a large pool of blood, his slashed and battered wings spread wide as he gasped for breath. Alex babbled questions while his younger brother held a large, white swab of cloth to the gaping hole in their father’s side. Christopher cursed Alex and barked orders at him. The black haired angel did as he was bid and fell silent. Andrew winced when Alex placed his arm around his shoulders and raised him up a few inches. He slid a cushion beneath his head.
Hayley noticed that Andrew’s skin was as white as his feathers. She could see the sweat running down his forehead in rivulets and wondered at the injured angel. How is he hurt? They never get hurt that badly. The thought was cut drastically short. Something ignited in her and her brain was paralysed in a rush of confusing thoughts and overwhelming emotions. In the whirlwind she saw Alexander’s head snap round to stare at her.
I can fix him, a voice inside her mind said, but it was not her own.
“Hayley, no!” Alex shouted.
The edges of the world began to blur and darken. That’s not my name…the voice protested before the lights went out.
Chapter Six
“Hayley…” A whisper. “Hayley.” A voice, louder. “Hayley.” Crystal clear. Hayley opened her eyes. Alex leant over her, looking wistful. She closed her eyes again and winced as pain erupted in the front of her skull. “Alex…” she mumbled, rolling onto her side in the bed.
“You’re ok, don’t panic,” he said, gently taking a hold of her.
She swiped her eyes with her thumb and forefinger. It felt like
she had slept for weeks. “Your dad…”
“He’s fine.”
“But…”
“He’s fine, trust me,” he said, running a hand down her face and cheek. He rubbed his thumb beneath her eye and she peered up at him. He smiled. “We were more worried about you.”
“What happened?”
“Your soul ignited…” k`1`2
“No, no. With your dad,” she cut in, placing a hand to her throbbing head.
Alex drew his hand away. “He was attacked.”
“By who?”
“Gabriel. He’s in Purgatory. Father and five others went to recapture him. He went thinking he could talk him into surrendering.”
Hayley stared at him. “And he attacked his own dad?”
Alex nodded.
“Really?” she asked, shocked.
The angel nodded again. He sat down beside her. “My Father barely escaped with his life. He managed to rip a hole to this world and close it before Gabriel could follow him through.” Alex sighed. “But he left behind two of the others. He thinks they’re dead. He wouldn’t have been able to get away if Gabriel had not been distracted with fighting them.”
“We have to do something.”
Alex looked at her. “I agree but what, I don’t know.” He watched as she struggled to draw herself higher in her bed, a pained expression drawn across her delicate features. “You almost killed yourself trying to save my Father.”
Hayley ignored his concern. “Who was that? Who was inside my head?”
“I already told you, your soul woke up. She talked about using her power to heal Dad’s wounds. Fortunately I managed to overpower her and put her back to sleep.”
“That’s never happened before,” she said, shaking her head. “I’ve never heard that voice…”
Alex slipped an arm around her shoulders and she rested her head against him. “Nor have I,” he said softly, pressing his head against hers. “But I wouldn’t worry about it. It will be ok. She didn’t mean to hurt you.”