“I should have known to search for you in an obvious place.”
Sprawled on the sofa, Roni looked to the doorway where Derren stood and shot him a “fuck off” glare. She’d been hiding in one of the guest lodges for hours, wanting some alone time. That was what Roni did when things went to shit: she looked for space and privacy, explored the matter in her head, got her thoughts straight, and faced the problem head-on. But she’d known it would be hard to do that if she had anxious pack members hovering, wanting to comfort and fuss over her, panicking that seeing the video had “traumatized” her.
Derren closed the front door and sank into one of the armchairs. “Almost the entire pack is searching for you.”
“I wanted some privacy. Considering it’s what you like to do when shit happens, you should be able to appreciate that better than anyone.” She and Derren had been good friends since he came out of juvie with Nick. The extremely hot Beta was very perceptive and very serious in some ways, yet he could be relaxed with certain people. Like her, he had dark places inside him that haunted him from time to time—a kinship that had made them “click” on meeting each other. Yet, there had never been anything between them other than friendship.
He allowed that with a nod. “But I wanted to make sure you were okay. Not because I thought you might be huddled in a corner somewhere bawling your eyes out. But because I’m your friend. Isn’t that what you do for me when I’m having a bad day?”
She huffed. “Point taken. Did Nick tell everyone about the video?”
“He told Shaya, Eli, and the enforcers, but that’s all.”
“My mother doesn’t know?” She sighed in relief when Derren shook his head. “Good. It’s bad enough that she mollycoddles me in that patronizing, condescending way of hers. This would make her ten times worse.”
“She cares. She just has odd ways of showing that.” There was a slight pause as a glint of humor entered his eyes. “So . . . Fuller marked you.” She didn’t at all appreciate the teasing lilt to his voice. “It’s a shock that you didn’t rip him a new one for that move.”
Yeah, but how could she have vilified Marcus for that when she had marked him first? It would have been pretty hypocritical. Not that she planned on telling Derren that. But something in her expression must have given her away, because a wide smile split his lips.
“Oh . . . you marked him too, didn’t you?” He laughed. “This is going to be fun to watch.”
She sat up and tucked her legs beneath her. “What will be fun to watch?”
“Marcus trying to handle you. It’s what guys have always tried to do, threatened by how dominant you are.” He cocked his head, frowning thoughtfully. “Although . . . I have to say, Marcus doesn’t seem to do that.”
As it sounded more like a question, she confirmed, “No, he doesn’t.”
“When I see him with you, it reminds me of someone trying to approach a wild animal, to gentle them and get them used to him.”
“A wild animal?” She wasn’t sure she liked that comparison.
“My point is that he doesn’t try to handle you, he tries to understand you and coax you. That’s good.”
It was true that although he was persistent in his efforts to know her and seduce her, Marcus wasn’t extremely pushy in that annoying way that dominant males often were. He focused on her intensely, but he didn’t overwhelm her with the full force of his personality—he gave her enough physical and emotional space for her to be relaxed around him . . . as if he knew exactly what she needed. He lured, cajoled, and charmed her, wanting her to make her own way to him as opposed to forcing himself on her. She liked that.
What bothered her were the compliments. She didn’t need them and didn’t see how they could possibly be true—particularly the ones about her supposedly intriguing personality. Hell, if she didn’t have chocolate in her diet, she doubted she’d have a personality at all. She cocked her head at Derren. “Do you think I’m intriguing?”
He blinked. “Intriguing?”
“Marcus said I intrigue him.”
“Why do you sound so insulted by that?”
She shrugged. “I just don’t understand what he could possibly find intriguing.” Unless, of course, he found people who had difficulties dealing with their own species rather interesting. “He’s super good-looking, he’s charming, he’s good in the sack . . .” Extremely good in the sack. And she was . . . well, her.
“I don’t know why you’re feeling insecure. You’re hot, Roni. The only reason guys don’t swarm around you is that you intimidate them. Surely Marcus has earned brownie points for not letting your level of dominance be a factor. From what I can see, he respects it. I have to say, though, I’m not sure if you’re more dominant than he is. Fuller’s not as harmless as he seems.”
That was one of the things she liked about Derren—he never missed anything. “No, he’s not. But he doesn’t hold it over me. He treats me like an equal.” And that was a lot more than her mother and Nick did.
“That’s a good thing.”
“I know, but I marked him, and it’s freaking me out.” She’d never before marked anyone. “Worse, my wolf is totally smug about it.” She narrowed her eyes at Derren’s speculative look. “What?”
“Do you think maybe he’s your . . . ?” He shook his head. “Never mind. Look, I think you should just let yourself enjoy this. As for marking him . . . it’s easy enough to get carried away when the sex is good.”
Considering that, she nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. I just got carried away, that’s all.”
“That’s all,” he echoed, his tone reassuring.
Unfortunately, she wasn’t reassured, because she was well aware that it had been possessiveness that caused her to make that mark—it had raced through her mind and body in a way she couldn’t explain. She’d wanted to warn off any other female that dared to come near him. That wasn’t “getting carried away.” It was more. And it scared her.
At that moment, the front door burst open, and Nick, Eli, Jesse, Bracken, and Zander piled in the room. How fabulous was that?
Nick plucked her from the sofa and hugged her tight—like Roni, he wasn’t the most affectionate person in the world, so it was always kind of odd when he did that. Pulling back to meet her eyes, he spoke. “Honey, are you okay?”
He’d said it softly and carefully, like she was on the verge of emotionally splintering. She stepped out of his hold. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine,” he insisted.
Jesse pointed hard at her. “And no one expects you to be.”
“Damn right.” Eli patted her shoulder. “It had to have been a shock to see the vid on that fucked-up website.”
“We’ll find out who uploaded it, and we’ll obliterate them—I promise you that.” Nick gently pushed her back onto the sofa, like she wouldn’t be able to stand on her own steam or something.
Zander came over then, his expression sympathetic—hell, she hadn’t been sure the hard enforcer was capable of empathizing with another person. “Can I get you anything? Coffee? Something to eat?”
“No,” she gritted out, “I’m fine.”
“Stop saying you’re fine,” ordered Nick, though his voice was gentle. “I saw you when you ran out of the tunnels—you were ready to explode. If I hadn’t been on the verge of exploding myself, I’d have gone after you.” His expression hardened slightly. “I’ve got to admit you were a lot calmer when I found you with Fuller.”
She shook her head. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what? Warn you that you made a huge mistake? Warn you that Fuller isn’t good for you?”
“I’ve heard it all before—it’s getting tedious.”
“He marked you, for God’s sake.” Of course that comment drew everyone’s attention to her neck. Then they were all talking at once.
“Whoa, he branded you?” Eli gawked.
Jesse whistled. “That’s not exactly a discreet one either.”
“You let a guy mark
you?” Bracken seemed mystified.
“Is he still breathing?” asked a wide-eyed Zander.
“You’re making a bigger deal out of this than you need to, Nick.” Derren sighed.
Roni closed her eyes for a few seconds, seeking patience. “This is my personal business.”
Nick folded his arms. “I did some checking on Fuller.”
“You did what?” she growled.
“I had Donovan dig up some details for me.” And he sounded much too unrepentant for her liking. “I always do checks on any guys who show interest in you.”
“Will we ever get to meet this mysterious Donovan?” asked Eli, taking the seat beside her.
“No.” There was a short pause. “Don’t you want to know what he discovered about Fuller?” Nick asked Roni.
“No, I don’t. His business is his business.” She was curious, of course—particularly since Marcus had claimed to have a “twisted story” about his family. But unlike Nick, she didn’t believe it was fair to invade other people’s privacy.
“He ever talk about his father to you?”
“Do you really think I’d break his confidence if he had?”
“Roni, the guy was violent. Used to beat his mate until she was black and blue. People were too scared to confront him about it, and his mate always came up with pretty excuses for her injuries.” Every male in the room growled.
She could understand their disgust and outrage. Mates were something to treasure and protect, were considered a gift that was sacred. To abuse that gift, to harm that person in any way, was abhorrent and callous. “And while that’s a horrible story, I don’t see why this would mean Marcus ‘isn’t good’ for me.”
“It doesn’t bother you that he hasn’t helped her? He could have done something, Roni. As a kid, he was helpless. But later on, he could have stepped in and defended his mother. He could have gotten her away from that bastard. But he didn’t. He left her with him. That doesn’t bother you?”
Eli spoke then. “Nothing’s ever that simple, Nick. There could be more to his story than that. Maybe his mom hadn’t wanted help. Maybe his dad had beaten him too.”
“According to Donovan, there was never anything to suggest that Marcus or his sisters suffered.”
“Doesn’t mean it didn’t happen,” said Roni. “Now do us all a favor and concentrate on your own life instead of busying yourself interfering with mine.” She’d known Marcus was a guy with secrets even before he’d mentioned his “twisted story,” so finding out he had some skeletons wasn’t at all a surprise.
What was a surprise was that Marcus hadn’t whisked his mother away from his father—that just didn’t fit with the protective wolf she knew. Sure, his mother might have refused to leave, might have turned on Marcus for trying to interfere. But Marcus was persistent by nature; he would have pushed and pushed until she agreed to leave, or until his father vowed never to touch her again.
Or maybe Roni was reading him wrong; maybe she didn’t know him at all.
In any case, there was always more to every story. Roni knew better than most how people’s stories could be distorted the more it traveled through the grapevine.
Besides, what right did she have to judge another? What was so special about her that gave her the right to condemn or pass judgment on what another person did or didn’t do?
“How about we move off the subject of Fuller?” proposed Derren. “He’s not what’s important right now.”
“Fine.” Nick exhaled heavily. “Listen, Roni, I’ve been thinking and . . . I think we should tell Mom about the vid being on the website.”
“What?”
“Hear me out. She can help you with this; she’s someone you can talk to about it. You’ve got Shaya too, obviously, but—”
“No way.”
“Telling Kathy won’t help anyone,” Derren told Nick. “All it will do is make her hysterical and, in turn, make Roni miserable because of the subsequent increase in coddling.”
“But she can talk to Roni, be a shoulder for her to—”
Roni jumped to her feet, growling. “You tell Mom, and I’ll slit your throat.”
Nick raised his hands, palms out. “Calm down, Roni.” He said it like she was a psycho who was hanging on the edge. “I know you’re upset about the vid—”
Calmly but coldly, she insisted, “Get out.”
“But you’ve got us. We’re here for you.”
“Get out.”
“All we want is to help you, be here for you. Come on, come with us—you don’t have to lock yourself away. We won’t judge you for crying.”
Crying? “Fuck this.” And she shifted.
The dark-gray wolf growled, and everybody froze.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Leaning back in his seat, Marcus rubbed at his aching eyes. He’d spent most of the day on Rhett’s computer, watching many of the vile videos on snm.com with Ryan and Tao, searching for any familiar faces in the hope that it might speed up the process of identifying the sadistic bastards who’d uploaded them. It had taken everything Marcus had to shut off his emotions and observe each one of the vids with clinical detachment.
Unfortunately the faces had been cleverly concealed. They had come to realize that the jackals’ kills all appeared to happen in the same place: a dark, square room that was empty except for a bloodstained mattress. However, they had no idea where it was.
Rhett had quickly discovered that the IP address of the site had in fact been masked—and it had been done exceptionally well. Both he and Donovan were working on it, in addition to attempting to trace the IP addresses of the others—in particular, the person responsible for uploading the video of Roni. Unfortunately, said person had done it anonymously, but it wouldn’t keep him hidden forever. They’d track him down somehow.
Marcus was glad Roni wasn’t with him. She wouldn’t have been able to detach herself from the victims’ plight, not when she herself had been through something very similar. However, as much as he was glad she hadn’t been around, he’d also sort of . . . missed her.
People who didn’t know Roni well would never believe it, but she was good company. She was entertaining, though he was sure she didn’t mean to be. She was outspoken and direct, which he liked and could appreciate. And although she was wounded in her own little way, she hadn’t let it destroy her confidence or hold her back; she kept on going, and he could respect that. He respected her.
His wolf, too, had missed her company and was pushing at Marcus to find her. Marcus would have been happy to oblige—particularly since he was aching to be inside her again, and particularly since he had a very important question for her regarding the video evidence—but the multiple calls he’d made to her cell phone had all gone straight to voicemail. She hadn’t returned his calls or text messages.
He’d considered contacting Shaya to check that Roni was okay, but it seemed wrong to go around Roni like that. She wasn’t a child that needed monitoring, and she wouldn’t appreciate being treated like one. He was well aware that Roni enjoyed having space, and he’d need to respect that.
“What the fuck is wrong with these people?” Tao was referring to a clip of four jackals physically assaulting a bound and gagged juvenile bear shifter. “How could someone truly be that sick?”
“We’re looking at evil—pure and simple.” That came from Ryan.
“You need a break?” Tao asked the enforcer. Ryan simply scowled at him before returning his attention to the computer screen. Tao exchanged a worried look with Marcus. Neither of them had wanted Ryan to join them. Their fellow enforcer had once been taken by a rival pack, kept prisoner, and tortured for information on the Phoenix Pack. The kidnappers had learned squat, because Ryan hadn’t broke, no matter what they did to him.
Marcus didn’t even want to think of the things they’d done to him.
Ryan never talked about it, and nobody ever brought it up. But the wolf had enough scars to hint at some of what had happened. If watching these clips brou
ght back memories, he certainly wasn’t showing it. But then, Ryan was pretty detached in many ways.
When the clip ended, Tao turned to Marcus. “I heard you marked Roni.”
“Yep.”
“I knew you wanted her badly, but I hadn’t expected you to mark her. I heard Nick went postal.” Tao smiled at the idea.
Marcus returned the smile. “I honestly thought the vein in his temple would pop.” He twisted his mouth. “But I can’t say I blame him. My rep isn’t pretty.”
“Yep, it seems it’s come back to bite you in the ass. I was a little wary of her in the beginning. She just seems so . . . aloof and standoffish. But then I realized she’s only like that with people who don’t matter to her. I can relate to that.”
True. Tao wasn’t interested in expanding his world beyond the people he cared about, but with those people he could be considerate, protective, and loyal. For him, everybody outside of his pack, particularly humans with their ignorance and prejudice, was no concern of his.
“She earned my loyalty when she saved Kye,” said Tao, a tinge of self-condemnation in his voice.
“Tao, it wasn’t your fault that you passed out. Nobody thinks less of you for it. Hell, Roni and Shaya passed out too. It just took you a little longer to come around.”
“It still pisses me off.”
Marcus went to say more, but then his cell phone rang. Taking it from his jeans’ pocket, he saw that the caller was Shaya. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Please tell me you’re not busy.”
Marcus straightened in his seat. “What’s going on?”
“Well, Roni shifted into her wolf form yesterday a few hours after she got home, and . . . well . . . we can’t get her to change back.”
“I’ll be right there.” He ended the call.
Tao, obviously having overheard the conversation, said, “We’ve got this; go see your girl.”
A short time later, Marcus was striding through Nick and Shaya’s lodge. In the living area, he found the Alpha pair, along with Derren, Eli, and the enforcers, having a tense conversation. “Where is she?”
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