It’s then I realize I’m facing the vanity mirror, and I don’t know the woman in the reflection—it surely can’t be me.
This woman is sexual. She’s erotic. She’s beautiful.
She’s a mother. She’s a woman. She’s everything I am.
And it hits me for the first time in my life that I’m happy with who I am. All of the parts of me.
As I continue watching Maverick and me, mesmerized by the visuals of him fucking me from behind, my breasts swaying back and forth with the force, his eyes join mine in the mirror. We don’t say anything at first, both transfixed by the sight of us.
“You look so fucking gorgeous,” he says, now moving his hand down to circle my clit. “I love looking at you when you come. Do you want to watch yourself?”
I think I moan something resembling a yes. I’m so fascinated by the sight of us that I don’t realize his other hand has left my hip and is grazing over my butt. Before I know it, I feel the slightest pressure back there. It feels so foreign. So unfamiliar.
So good.
That was all I needed to become unhinged. My hips are now meeting his at a rapid pace, needing to find my release.
“Now, Scarlett. Come for me now.”
I couldn’t hold back if I wanted to.
As my pussy clenches around his cock—our release coming together—my arms go limp. I fall onto the bed, Maverick following on top of me.
I love his weight on me. The feeling of him like this, still inside me, after the most intense lovemaking of my life.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” he asks, placing a kiss on my cheek.
“Everything.”
40
Maverick
My girl with her feet on my lap as she studies. The boy who has stolen my heart playing contentedly on the floor with his pile of cars. Our stomachs full from dinner. The television playing softly in the background.
I really don’t know how much more perfect you could get.
As much as we loved our time alone, we were both ready to have Grant back. Scarlett’s parents dropped him off today with a bag of new toys and a vow that there would be more coming at Christmas, which is now just a few weeks away.
“We should get a tree. A big one. Put it right there in the corner,” I say as she looks up at the space, a smile forming on her lips.
“Grant has never had a real tree before,” she says, putting down her book. “There wasn’t room in the apartment. We always had a little fake one.”
“Well then, that settles it. This weekend, we’re getting our boy a tree.”
I expect my declaration to put a smile on her face. But instead, she’s now looking at me funny.
“What? Do you not want a tree? We don’t have to get one if you don’t want it.”
She shakes her head. “No. It’s not that. He’d . . . we’d . . . love one. It’s just, you called him ‘our boy.’”
Well shit, I guess I did.
“Is that okay? I just . . . I think of him as mine, Scarlett. Ever since he called me ‘Dada,’ I knew that he was my son, even though not one drop of my blood runs through him. I love him. I love you. I love this family we’ve created so much. Now that Ryan is gone for good, I can’t help but think about our future . . . together.”
She leans in and kisses me. “I love you. He loves you. Just hearing you call him ‘ours’ shocked me a bit.”
She snuggles into me as we watch Grant play. I hate that he’s only mine in the figurative sense. I want him, and her, to be mine in the real sense. The legal sense.
I want to put a ring on her finger. I want to adopt Grant. I want to fill this house with kids and memories.
I want it all. And I want it with them. And I don’t want to waste another second.
“You know what would make this even better?” I say, stroking her arm.
“What’s that?”
“If Grant had a little brother or sister to play with.”
I feel her go stiff in my arms before she looks up at me.
“You mean one day, right?” she asks. “Like years from now?”
“No, I mean, I realize you can’t have a kid tomorrow, but I’m thinking sooner rather than later. Maverick and I were four years apart, but I always wished we were closer together in age. Don’t you think Grant would love a little brother or sister?”
She stands up from the couch and goes to pick up Grant. I look at the clock, and it’s close to his bedtime, though I think he’s just become her diversion.
“I’m going to put him down. Then I’m going to come back here and we are going to talk about the crazy that just came out of your mouth. Because that’s what you just said. A bunch of crazy.”
Crazy? What does she mean crazy?
Doesn’t she want a future with me? A family? I want it more than I want my next breath.
Yes, I know I haven’t proposed to her yet. And I know we’ve only been together for a few months. But many people don’t do things in the right order. We sure as hell didn’t.
But the more I think about it, the more I can see it. Scarlett’s belly round with my child. A little boy or girl with my green eyes and our dark hair. Thanksgivings like the one we just had, only with more children to share our joy.
“Whatever you’re thinking about right now, get it out of your head,” she says, coming back into the living room.
“Why is it so bad to think about the future?” I ask, now getting a little angry that she’s so against this. “Don’t you want to have children with me? Marry me?”
“Yes. I want that. But we’ve never talked about it. Our usual version of discussing the future is what we’re having for dinner each night.” She takes a breath, and I’m worried about what’s going to come from her next.
“The future to me is years from now. When I’m done with school and settled into a new job. You’re making it seem like we should march upstairs and start trying for a kid right now.”
“Would that really be so bad?” I ask, taking the temperature of this conversation.
“Yes, it would be that bad! What the fuck is the matter with you?”
Okay. Maybe not my best move. But before she continues arguing, she takes a seat next to me, looking like she’s about to reprimand me. I know this because it’s the look she gives Grant after he doesn’t listen to her.
“Maverick, I love you. With all my heart. Please know that,” she says, taking a deep breath. “But for the first time, I am truly happy with everything in my life. I still have two more years of school left. Remember that thing? School? The reason I’m here in the first place? I promised myself when I started this program that I was doing it to give my son and myself a better life, and I’m committed to that.”
“But you have me and—”
She cuts me off. “And if we’re still together when I’m done, then it will make both of us better. We’re in a good spot right now. I’m happy. Grant’s happy. Aren’t you happy with how we are?”
I nod, knowing her rationale is correct. I hate it, but she’s right.
“I am. But I want it all. I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life for you, and now that you’re here and we’re together, I just want to start our life right now. I don’t want to waste another second.”
I bring her into my arms, hoping that this fight is over. Or at least tabled.
“I know you do, but if you truly love me, you’ll give me time. I want everything you said, but not right now.”
I kiss her head, knowing she’s right.
“Well, if you’re going to make me wait, then can you at least indulge a fantasy for me?” I ask.
“Depends what it is.”
“If we were to have a baby right now, what would you want? A boy or a girl?”
She takes a second to think, but she doesn’t start cussing at me, so I take that as a sign that this isn’t freaking her out as much as it did earlier.
“I’ve always wanted a little girl, but I’m scared shitless I’d
end up with a little Tori, and I don’t know if I’m ready for that,” she says and we both laugh. No one in the world is ready for a little Tori. “Honestly, it wouldn’t matter to me. As long as the baby was healthy, and had your eyes, I’d be happy.”
I squeeze her into me, loving that she’s giving me this moment, even though it may be short-lived.
“I’d want a little girl. Who looks just like her mama.”
She looks up at me and smiles. The one she only gives when she’s truly, irrevocably happy.
She might not be giving me this today, or tomorrow, and I might hate the delay, but she’s right—it’s probably for the best.
But one day, we will have the family I’m picturing right now.
41
Scarlett
Me: We have a situation.
Tori: Oh fuck! Are you for real? Like no jokes?
Me: You know I wouldn’t joke about this. We have a fucking situation.
Tori: Fuck. Sorry. Shit. Okay. I’m on my way.
I’ve only sent my sister a text with those words once in my life. It was when I first realized I could be pregnant with Grant.
And now I’m sending it again.
Back then, I was scared as hell. Tori came over with a pregnancy test, a bottle of champagne, and a bottle of apple juice. She said no matter what, we were celebrating, because either I was free and clear, or I was bringing an awesome little life into this world.
Thirty minutes after my text, she’s at Maverick’s front door loaded with the same.
She might be a pain in my ass, but I freaking love my sister.
She barges in through the front door, not bothering to knock. I’m alone in the house, thank God. Maverick is at the shop and Grant is at daycare. I’m supposed to be at work, but once I threw up for the third day in a row at exactly 10 a.m., I knew something was up.
Then I started putting together little pieces from the past few weeks. The fact that as much as I’ve slept, I can’t seem to not be tired, not to mention the morning sickness that’s crept up over the last week or so.
But the clincher was my nipples. When I was pregnant with Grant, they were sensitive as shit. Last week, when Maverick and I were making love and he began sucking on one like he loves to do, the sensation hit me like a Mack truck.
I know I need to take the test, but there’s no doubt in my mind.
I’m pregnant.
“Are you alone?” Tori asks, putting the supplies on the island.
“Yeah. Maverick’s at work. Grant’s at daycare. And I’m staying home from work and school today.”
“All right,” she says, grabbing the pregnancy test from the bag. “No sense in delaying this. Go piss on the stick, sister.”
“Why did I call you again?” I ask, taking the test from her.
“Because you love me.”
She’s right. I do. And I know if this test says I’m pregnant again, she will be there for me every step of the way.
When I was pregnant with Grant, I was scared shitless. Scared of the unknown. Scared of how I was going to raise a baby when I swear I was a child just the day before.
But Tori was, and has been, there for me every step of the way.
This time, I’m going to need her again. I’m not as scared as I was before. This time I’m angry.
Angry at myself. Angry at Maverick. Angry at the universe.
How could this be? We’ve always been careful. Granted, we fuck like rabbits, but we’ve always used a condom.
Except . . .
Shit. There was that one time we almost forgot. But he put one on before we finished. Could it have been then? Hell, the way he was talking the other night, it’s like he knew I was pregnant. Like he had a grand plan all along.
I know that’s ridiculous, but my mind is all over the place. I know condoms aren’t 100 percent effective, and I probably should’ve gotten on the pill at some point, but fuck. What’s the point in being careful when it could happen anyway?
For the first time in my life, I’m content. Happy. I meant what I said to Maverick the other night: I want a life and a future with him. To get married and have more kids. But down the road. Once I’m settled. Once school is . . .
Oh, fuck! What am I going to do about school? This program is an accelerated one with no breaks. How am I supposed to go to school and classes when I’m up with a newborn all night? Do I tell my study group I can’t exchange notes with them the day I go into labor?
With my mind going a thousand miles a minute on the what-ifs, I allow myself, for just a second, to think that this is a bad dream. That when I look at that plastic stick in three minutes, my life will be exactly how it was last month.
Because no way is the universe this cruel. No way did I piss off some sort of deity so much that just when everything was in front of me, within my reach, they decided to derail my plans with a second unexpected child.
The emotions are too much, and before I can even look at the test, I fall to the floor of the bathroom, uncontrollably crying. I don’t know how long I’m down there when I hear the door open. Tori takes a seat next to me.
“Is it positive?”
I shrug my shoulders. “I didn’t look. But I know it is.”
She wraps her arms around me, pulling me in for an embrace.
“You know everything will be okay, right?”
I nod my head as tears continue to fall.
“Maverick will be the absolute best dad in the world. He’s already been more of a dad to Grant than Asswipe ever was. Last time, you had to do everything alone. This time, you’ll have him. And you know he’ll do—and be—anything you need.”
She’s right, but that still doesn’t help.
“Why is this happening to me, Tori? Why now? I’m not ready . . . I’m just not ready.”
She rocks me for a few more minutes, knowing there’s no answer.
“As much as I love you, and know you need a moment, this bathroom floor is uncomfortable as fuck. And as much as you might want to, we can’t ignore the stick in the room forever. You ready?”
“No.”
“Too bad. Let’s make this official.”
Tori helps me up as I reach for the stick. I still can’t look at it, closing my eyes as I lift it off the counter. She puts her hands on my shoulders, steadying me as I slowly open my eyes.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity fuck.
No. No. No. No.
Despite knowing deep inside what it was going to say, there’s just no way to prepare yourself for seeing those two pink lines.
I’m pregnant.
42
Maverick
There’s nothing right about the scene I’m met with when I walk into my house with Grant sprinting ahead of me.
For one thing, Scarlett isn’t supposed to be home until late tonight, which is why I picked Grant up from daycare. And she’s definitely not supposed to be on my couch looking like she’s spent the entire day crying.
Tori is by her side, arm wrapped around her, trying to comfort her. I can’t tell if it’s helping or not.
“Is everything okay?” I drop my keys and rush over to my girl.
“Where’s Grant?” she asks, barely able to get the words out.
“He ran to the bathroom. I didn’t think he was going to make it,” I try to joke, but a smile doesn’t crack.
“What’s wrong?” I’m asking Scarlett, but hope Tori realizes I’m also asking her. Is it her parents? No, they seemed fine at Thanksgiving. And if it was, wouldn’t Tori also be upset?
“Mav,” Tori says in probably the quietest tone I’ve ever heard from her, “you and Scarlett need to talk. Alone. I’m going to take Grant. He can spend the night with Kalum and me.”
I nod, realizing that this isn’t up for discussion.
“Is everything okay?” I need to know, because right now I feel like everything is very much not okay.
No one says anything, which scares me even more. Tori presses a kiss to the side of Scarlett’s head be
fore heading to Grant’s room to get him ready for his impromptu sleepover.
I take her place on the couch next to Scarlett. I have no clue what’s wrong, but if my girl is hurting, then I need to take that pain away. Now.
“What’s the matter, baby? Please tell me. I’m dying over here.”
“Not until Grant leaves.” The words come out in a whisper, but I know there’s no arguing this.
I keep her wrapped in my arms until Grant comes barreling down the stairs.
“Mama! I go to Aunt Tori’s!”
Scarlett sits up and quickly wipes away any lingering tears. “Yes, you are, buddy. Are you going to be a good boy for Aunt Tori and Uncle Kalum?”
Grant enthusiastically nods his head as Scarlett peppers him with kisses around his face.
“I love you, buddy.”
“Love you, Mama.”
Scarlett puts him down, tears beginning to form in her eyes again.
Oh God. Is something the matter with Grant?
No. He hasn’t been sick. He hasn’t even been to the doctor recently. She needs to tell me soon, because I’m losing my fucking mind over here.
As soon as the door closes, I turn her to me. I can’t wait another second.
“Scarlett? What’s wrong, baby? I’m going crazy over here.”
She doesn’t look at me for a few seconds, and it feels more like a few hours.
“You got your wish.”
I hear her words, but I have no idea what they mean. “Scarlett, you’re confusing me. What wish did I get?”
She looks up at me with so many emotions swimming through her eyes that I can’t lock one down.
“I’m pregnant.”
I hear her words, but I’m too stunned to say anything.
She’s . . . she’s pregnant? I’m going to be a father?
“Scarlett? Are you serious?” Her words have finally hit me and I can’t contain my excitement. I envelop her in my arms, scattering kisses all over her face.
Wrecked: South Side Boys-Book 3 Page 16